Transitioning from Point A to Point B

10 Ways to Transition from Point A to Point B [00:00:00] FAWN: Welcome back, everybody. Hi. Hello. Yoo hoo. Thank you for joining us again. Sometimes, I'm my own. Not sometimes, but all the time, but sometimes, I'm my own best friend. That's it. Okay. So, there's, I found a note. I think this little note is 16 years old. 16? It was in my sketchbook. [00:00:24] MATT: It's a teenager. [00:00:25] FAWN: It's a teenager. I think it's more than 16 years old. This was from the photo studio that we had in our house 16 years ago. And, um, and I've kept it. Every year I get another book, and I have little things in there, and I just kept this with me the whole time. It's laminated and everything. [00:00:47] FAWN: We got into a little fight about it. You said it's a sticker. It's a sticker! I laminated it. I guess it used to be, I don't know where it's from, so I don't even know who to give credit to for these 10 things. Mm hmm. But I say, My own best friend, because, you know, you turn to your friends for upliftment or advice or [00:01:08] FAWN: comfort. Yeah, comfort. And sometimes you find it within yourself. And then this one, I feel like, even though it came from someone who wrote these ten things, I don't know who wrote these ten things, but I've been keeping it. And looking at it, for over 16 years, I always take it out of the sketchbook, and I always put it up by the computer. [00:01:30] FAWN: So I'm always, it's always in front of me. And I wanted to share it with you all today. So there are ten things. Number one, accept criticism as the other person's problem, not yours. You know, it's interesting the way it's phrased, though. I don't like that. I don't like [00:01:46] MATT: the way it's phrased. [00:01:47] MATT: I do, because Can you just read the first [00:01:49] FAWN: two words again? Accept criticism. [00:01:54] MATT: But I don't like it. [00:01:55] FAWN: As the other person's problem, not yours. Here's the thing. Mm hmm. Just leaving this aside. [00:02:02] MATT: Yes? [00:02:03] FAWN: The past week, I have heard from several different, completely unrelated sources, the same message, from people that I really respect. [00:02:13] FAWN: And they all said, Other people's criticism, other people's opinions of you? Mm hmm. They're none of your business. You know who you are. No one knows you better than you. So, I think this is saying the same thing. Don't you what's your problem with it the [00:02:31] MATT: first two words just read those first two words and stop full stop [00:02:34] FAWN: Yeah, but you have to read on it says this opposite. [00:02:37] FAWN: You can't just look at the first I don't appreciate it the way where it becomes the opposite. What do you want to say? That's it. That's it You don't like it. That's what I wanted to say. You just want to drop drop your ball. I don't want to play [00:02:48] MATT: okay, the The folklore around musashi says that when he came up with his principles. [00:02:55] MATT: He spent a lot a lot a lot of time on it And made sure that they were succinct and made sure that they made perfect sense and that he could adopt every single word. And he doesn't really put a lot, he doesn't put really, but one or, yeah, there's, there's not a lot of nots in there. There's not a lot of kind of negativity things where you have to switch it by the [00:03:20] FAWN: end. [00:03:21] FAWN: I don't understand what you're saying. [00:03:23] MATT: Accept criticism as the other person's problem, not yours. Right? Uh huh. [00:03:30] MATT: Don't worry about criticism. [00:03:32] FAWN: That's what it's [00:03:33] MATT: saying. Yes, but... It's much more succinct. What do you mean? I'm just wordsmithing. Just [00:03:39] FAWN: let it go. I can't let it go because you brought it up and you're like twisting it all around. And I value your opinion. Even though I'm really pissed off. [00:03:50] MATT: That's why I'm like, let it go. [00:03:51] MATT: Love is winning. No. [00:03:52] FAWN: What are you saying? Can you just make it simple for me to understand? He takes the note from me again. Don't [00:03:59] MATT: sweat criticism. Okay. [00:04:03] FAWN: That's it. [00:04:04] MATT: So don't sweat it. I'm not even gonna, I don't care if there's another person tied to it or not. It's irrelevant. [00:04:09] FAWN: Right. So it's the same thing as what I was saying that I've been hearing the past week. [00:04:15] FAWN: Other people's opinions are none of your business. [00:04:18] MATT: There you go. [00:04:18] FAWN: Alright, can I move on to our next one? [00:04:20] MATT: Yes, I'm sorry. [00:04:21] FAWN: Oh, sorry. Appreciate yourself and reaffirm your self worth whenever possible. Number three, rather than fretting about what you don't have, appreciate what you do have. Any comments? [00:04:36] FAWN: Appreciate [00:04:36] MATT: what you have. Done. Okay, thanks. Let go of that first five [00:04:40] FAWN: words. Wow. Maybe we shouldn't record in the middle of the afternoon, because you're like, there's something else today. Alright, number four. See the good points and positive aspects in circumstances. Try to see even your problems as happening for the best. [00:04:59] FAWN: Yeah, what else are you going to do? What else are you going to do? Oh my god, we're in a mood. Okay. No, seriously. Absolutely. Yeah. So let me just read that again. See the good points and positive aspects in circumstances. Try to see even your problems as happening for the best. Number five. [00:05:17] FAWN: Rather than looking backward with sorrow, look forward with joyous expectation. Any comments? Again, [00:05:25] MATT: we could lose the beginning of that. I like, I like the end of that. I don't, I'm not [00:05:29] FAWN: as, Look forward with joyous expectation. There you go. But we have to remind ourselves, hey, don't look back with sorrow. [00:05:37] FAWN: Don't be sorry. Don't look back in sorrow. Don't disrespect what you came from. Whatever happened that wasn't great, it brought you to now. Right? True. And you're now grown because of it. Yes, yes, yes. Number six. Learn from mistakes so that you can convert them into triumphs. Number seven. Insulate yourself from unpleasant surroundings through wholesome detachment. [00:06:06] FAWN: Wholesome? [00:06:07] MATT: What does that mean? Wholesome [00:06:10] FAWN: detachment. Insulate yourself from unpleasant surroundings through wholesome detachment. What does that mean? Wholesome detachment. I mean, don't be a jerk and be cold and aloof about things. appreciate everything, but be detached at the same time. Like, wholesome. [00:06:29] FAWN: Rather than a jerk, you know, people are like detached and they don't care. Mm hmm. They're all gloomy and everything is sarcastic Right. I think that's what it's saying. Like wholesome detachment is your're whole you're fully embodied you're not completely separate from the world You're a part of the world, but you're not, you're, you're just detached. [00:06:52] FAWN: You're not going to be pulled from here to there at a whim, at, at the whim of the outside circumstances, the outside of yourself, but I mean, that's just my perspective when I see that. Number eight, [00:07:05] FAWN: Let go of what you no longer need and make the most of what you now attract. Let go of what you no longer need, and make the most of what you now attract. Makes sense? It [00:07:20] MATT: does. Any thoughts? There's a lot of sense of transitioning from state A to state B in these, which is not necessarily a bad thing. [00:07:31] FAWN: Number nine, grow in courage and self mastery from every circumstance. [00:07:37] FAWN: Yes. [00:07:37] MATT: Yeah, that one's good. I like that one. [00:07:40] FAWN: They're all good Number 10 be aware of the larger consciousness you are a part of I When I read that I think mass consciousness what everyone else is doing Everyone else is freaking out. Everyone else is angry. Everyone else is scared Be aware of that like when we go to the grocery store Most of the time, I try to be mindful of what everyone is thinking. [00:08:12] FAWN: Because I can pick up on things that are happening in the next aisle over. Right. I can pick up on thoughts other people are having. And sometimes, I don't know where it's coming from, I just feel messed up. And I'm like, I gotta get out of here. Right. Or I don't feel so good. Or all of a sudden, I start thinking poorly, like, This tomato can is what? [00:08:34] FAWN: How much? $17, you know, it could be because I'm picking up on the other person's thoughts, right? Like, they can't afford this. Right. And then, you know, and maybe vice versa. There are days where I'm like, lettuce is what? I can't buy that lettuce. You know what I'm saying? I, I know. But, and, and the other people pick up my thoughts. [00:08:55] MATT: I totally, I totally get it. It's a, it's a weird thing. It's like, [00:09:03] MATT: it's like, Remember, it's almost like remembering to center yourself or remembering to put on your armor before you go out into the world, which is, regrettably, it feels like necessary. Yeah. You know, [00:09:20] FAWN: versus, I don't know. Well, I mean, you don't think that negatively about something like that when you have to put on your boots when you walk in the rain, through the mud. [00:09:31] FAWN: Wait, you're supposed to put [00:09:32] MATT: boots on when you walk through mud? You put your shoes on. I know, I'm teasing. Ugh, Matt. Ah, frustrating. God, this husband, ugh. [00:09:40] FAWN: Now, what's the word for it? A little exhausting. And tired. You're exhausting. So you have nothing to say about any of this? I said a whole bunch [00:09:51] MATT: about a whole lot of this stuff. [00:09:52] MATT: No you didn't. It feels like a lot of transitional stuff, which is not necessarily a bad thing. And it looks like direct yourself towards these points. Coming from that point. [00:10:05] FAWN: Which is fine. Look, I look at this every day. I may not be consciously looking at it all the time. But I look at this thing every day. [00:10:13] FAWN: And it helps me, especially when I'm at my computer, and I'm getting things done. I, I don't do well with criticism, and I see, accept criticism is other person's problem, not yours. You know, it's none of my business. I've had enough criticism. Whatever. Appreciate yourself, and reaffirm your self worth whenever possible. [00:10:36] FAWN: Yeah, cause, you know, I have to say, wow. I'm really good at this. I did a good job. I put my love into this. Right. And I put all of my might into it. Or I didn't, you know, but, hey, I appreciate what I just did. Right. You know, cause no one else at that particular instant, where I'm standing, I'm the only one standing there that did this thing, or thought this thing, Or pursued this thing within my time space. [00:11:06] FAWN: situation. Right. So I have to appreciate that. Like, I came here and I did that. You know, it, it helps. These are the little things that help me out. I just wanted to pass it around. I feel like you've totally, you know. Oh, don't feel that way. I do. I mean, you didn't really, like, it feels like you don't, you're [00:11:24] MATT: like me. [00:11:25] MATT: See, you're only paying attention to my criticisms. Read that about criticism again. What does that say again? It's not my problem. [00:11:31] FAWN: Exactly. But I'm married to you. I can't do that. It's not my problem. It is though, because, you know, we sleep together. Oh my god. So, okay, that's it. We're done. You don't have to say anything. [00:11:46] FAWN: Okay. What? You just said I don't have to say problem today, Matt? You, like, you, first of all, I am like, it was super early in the morning and I'm always waking up. I'm a very light sleeper, so I'm like, are you coming back or are you leaving for your ride? Mm-hmm. . Right? I was, I didn't even know what time it was. [00:12:08] FAWN: Right. I didn't know if you were coming back. I'm like, oh my God, did I oversleep? Mm-hmm. , but like, you went for a ride, you came back and usually you're like, oh, that was great. I may have gotten lost, but that was a great ride. Yes. But today you're like the world is weird. The world is weird this morning. [00:12:25] FAWN: I'm like what? What happened? How could it be weird already? It was early. It was early. So do you think it had something to do with the fall and the change in season? Yes, even though it's still like it may still be warm outside. I think everyone is picking up on you know when there's a breeze and things sound different You may hear a little crunchy leaf blowing in the wind, and you're like, uh oh, are the leaves about to fall? [00:12:56] FAWN: They haven't even changed yet, but there's a certain scent in the air too, like, all of a sudden, the mornings smell different. Yes. Yeah, and [00:13:05] MATT: certainly there's, there was a big difference. I ride a bike and I went out yesterday Versus today and yesterday, it was ten degrees warmer. It was ten degrees cooler. [00:13:19] MATT: I went out at almost the same time, but there was a lot more people out, which was just weird and [00:13:25] FAWN: interesting, and So there's more activity out there. There [00:13:27] MATT: was more activity, but also, yeah, I ran into people who maybe weren't so [00:13:32] FAWN: nice. But it's also, okay, I usually don't like to say what time it is, what time of the year it is, because I want All of our times together to be, what's a word for universal? [00:13:47] FAWN: You know, like, timeless. Thank you. But, you know, it's so funny when guests come on and they're like, Happy for the July? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't say that. You know, I just feel like, I'm just gonna say it though today. Are we in September? Is it September? I seriously, Matt, I feel like I'm in a twilight zone. [00:14:08] FAWN: I understand. Time has been going by so fast. But [00:14:09] MATT: yes, we are, we're in, we're working our way towards transition. I always notice that the month of October, for instance, people are always in a different state. [00:14:19] FAWN: Anxious. [00:14:20] MATT: There is a certain amount of [00:14:22] FAWN: anxiousness. Because, and we always say it, it must be the change in season. [00:14:25] FAWN: I'm like, huh, I wonder if it's also the holidays are coming and the end of the year is coming. Change is coming. It's definitely a change that, even if you live in LA or something, you notice a change, a shift in season. Even though it's a climate that normally doesn't have seasons. Right. It's very subtle. [00:14:49] FAWN: Yes. You still change. You still see life moving in a different direction. Right. [00:14:54] MATT: Which is why, actually... Your list is very nice because it is dealing with a change. [00:15:01] FAWN: Thank you! [00:15:02] MATT: See? Finally. I was finally nice. [00:15:05] FAWN: Yes, you're right. And I think that's why I have it, because it's reassuring. You know, it's reminding me. [00:15:13] FAWN: Because I don't do well with criticism. Right. At all. You know this. Yes. I am the worst. I cannot handle criticism. What was I saying? But the change in season, when you and I met, one of the things we agreed on was September feels like a new year. Yes. And, like in the Jewish religion, usually in September, it is the new year. [00:15:38] FAWN: That's when the new year happens, but it's interesting because we both, even though our birthdays are not in September, we feel like we start over in September. It has nothing to do with religion. That's how we've always felt. Separately, and when we came together, we're like, Yeah, me too. I've always felt that way. [00:15:57] FAWN: And that's when school starts. Yep. , it is a time of transition, and if you look, mass consciousness, or like, people out there. As a group, as, as like an experience bubble, everyone is experiencing a little bit of trepidation, a little bit of like, what's going to happen? And I think it's good to remind each other that it's going to be okay. [00:16:24] FAWN: Appreciate this time. Don't fret about anything. Appreciate what's in front of you right now. [00:16:31] FAWN: If there's a problem, know that it's happening for the best. Everything is happening for you. And then, if you're thinking, wow, the year is almost over, don't look back on it in sorrow. It's like, you've done everything perfectly, you are where you should be. So look forward with, like it says, joyous expectation. [00:16:54] FAWN: And then learning from our mistakes and turning those into big things. I've been listening to this one guy who talks about how he became a super millionaire with all his businesses. And it's what everyone else says, that you need to make lots of mistakes, but you need to keep moving forward. [00:17:13] FAWN: You can't make a mistake and go, Oh, [00:17:15] MATT: Oh, that's it. Let me pack up my ball and go home. No, let me go crawl under the bed and never emerge. [00:17:20] FAWN: Just keep going. Who cares? Just keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. And don't give up. And Don't give up. Keep going. [00:17:32] FAWN: A lot of people that start their thing, whatever it is, their thing, their business, their idea, whatever it is that you're working on, you work on it. And you, first of all, you started it because it felt like a great idea. You had some passion about it. You're like, Ooh, I want to do this. And once you start doing it, you're like, Ooh, this is hard. [00:17:52] FAWN: This is not fun right now. Right. This is like, I'm feeling like I'm swimming upstream. You're going against the current. You're getting a lot of no's maybe. You know, you're getting pushback, right? Is that the word pushback? Pushback is. And then you look at someone else that may be doing something completely different. [00:18:10] FAWN: You're like, well, look at them. They look good. They feel at ease. They're thriving. Let me do what they're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds good. You know what? I'm gonna do this other thing now. And people do that over and over and over again. And every time you come across Things that are hard and what, what this guy was saying, this business guy was saying was that every business sucks. [00:18:33] FAWN: Boy, that's happy. But it was. He was like, every business is hard. Everything sucks. You could have passion about it, but it will get to a point where it sucks. But you have to keep moving forward. You can't stop and try something else right when it starts sucking. You have to move through it. [00:18:53] FAWN: You just keep going, keep working at it, and then you are where you want to be. But you're never where you want to be, because once you get to where you want to be, you're like, well, yeah. And then there's something else, right? Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, absolutely. [00:19:07] MATT: It always feels like transition, but I like to think of it as transitioning from strength to strength to strength. [00:19:14] MATT: But, yeah, absolutely, I can totally see that. I mean, I love computer programming. My God. But there are days. Oh my God. Oh my goodness, there are days. [00:19:23] FAWN: And I hear them, I'm right next to you. Yes, you do. And then, you know, you hear me. Like, I'll start crying. I do get under the covers. I'm like, bye. I'm, I'm gonna go to bed. [00:19:37] FAWN: I'm taking a shower. Even though it's like, already like, the middle of the day. I'm like, you know what, let me wash off the day. Right. It's only ten o'clock. [00:19:48] FAWN: And I'm like, I just wanna be under the covers. Right. But, I come back out. When I see, learn from mistakes so that you can convert them into triumphs. That's what I think. and then, also looking at the, insulation. Insulate yourself from unpleasant surroundings through wholesome detachment. [00:20:06] FAWN: Sometimes you gotta say, F it. I'm not gonna let this touch me. Right. Move it on. [00:20:13] MATT: Right. As long as it's not, and wholesome detachment, not self destructive. [00:20:17] FAWN: Let's say, well, yeah, of course. Well, that's all. What do you mean, though? [00:20:21] MATT: What do you mean? Like, drink yourself into oblivion, or... [00:20:27] FAWN: Wholesome detachment. Why would you take it to doing that? To doing drugs and alcohol? Because that's one of [00:20:33] MATT: the ways people detach. Wholesome! I know! That's why I said wholesome, not self I said not self destructive, which equates to wholesome. [00:20:42] FAWN: Alright. And then, also looking at let go of what you no longer need. [00:20:48] FAWN: And make the most of what you now attract. Every moment is a new moment. What do you want to attract? I used to listen to Abraham Hicks. You never listened to her, did you? Nope. Or to them. One of the main messages is, when something happens that you don't like, it's basically, , a realization of contrast. [00:21:10] FAWN: So when something happens you don't like, you now know what you don't like. And it's your opportunity to let yourself, the universe, the world, know what you do want. Remember when one of your buddies at work got laid off and she was freaking out? I'm like, let me talk to her. I had never talked to this woman before. [00:21:31] FAWN: But I called her up. I'm like, hi, this is Matt's wife. I just wanted to let you know something. This is the perfect opportunity. And I tell you this too. I told you this too when you were experiencing the same thing, but this is the perfect opportunity To let the world know what kind of job you want. What do you want? [00:21:52] FAWN: What kind of life do you want? This is the perfect time because you're pivoting [00:21:57] MATT: right? Yeah, and in point of fact, she's now doing something remarkably similar, but still different and much happier for sure. But [00:22:04] FAWN: it's hard to do that on your own. You need a friend to say, Whoa, what do you want? [00:22:08] FAWN: Sometimes you do. Instead of thinking like, Oh my God, I don't have a job. Oh, what am I going to do? Right. Instead, someone's like, Hey, what do you want to do? You have a whole box of chocolates. Which flavor do you want? What do you want in it? Right. Do you like almonds? Do you like walnuts? Do you like plain chocolate? [00:22:26] FAWN: Do you like chocolate mousse? Do you like mint? What do you want? Pick it. Otherwise, it'll be chosen for you. So what do you want? Right. again, this list, this is why I've kept it around. You need it. Grow in courage and self mastery from every circumstance. You take charge. You are in charge. This is your life. [00:22:46] FAWN: And then be aware of what others are saying around you. Be aware of all the news out there that says, Ooh, we're in a recession. No one's making any money. Everyone's getting laid off. No. Mm mm. It doesn't have to be your reality. It really doesn't. [00:23:02] FAWN: Just looking at history, because I have to teach it to the kids, every time things sucked for the masses, there were people, like artists, who thrived. Right. Who figured out something to do that was totally out of the box. [00:23:15] FAWN: be aware of larger consciousness that you're a part of. Just be aware of it. Don't let that thinking seep into your beautiful heart. That's it. I just wanted to share these things with you really quick. Is it quick? How long have I been talking? I feel like I'm the one talking all the time. Okay. Well, do you wanna add something else? [00:23:36] FAWN: I do. [00:23:37] MATT: My goodness. Transition. No, I'm, I'm totally good. Just, have an understanding that we're always in transition. The world is always in transition. The seasons are in transition and that's a good thing. [00:23:49] FAWN: It is a good thing, although it is scary. And before we go, I do have a question, Matt. And I've never asked you this whole time we've been married. [00:23:56] FAWN: Oh dear. But we talk about it every fall. Every fall. We're like, uh oh, the fall is here. Have you noticed people are freaking out? Yeah, people are freaking out. We tend to look at it like, Happy New Year! Fresh start. What are we building now? You know, even though we're kind of hunkering for winter to come. [00:24:15] FAWN: But, how do you do it, man? How do you... How do you make a positive, and how do you turn it into, like, a delicious thing? Or do you? [00:24:22] MATT: I do. I do, and I'm very deliberate about it, honestly. [00:24:26] FAWN: What's your process? [00:24:28] MATT: Well, first of all, if you focus on the bad, that's all you're gonna see. If you focus on the good, that's all you're gonna see. [00:24:35] MATT: So, you start by focusing on the good stuff that's about to happen. And then good stuff happens. But also, there's a sense, for me, first of all, I've had a lot of good stuff happen in, especially October, interestingly enough. And I can reflect back on that if I have any kind of a momentary stumble. [00:24:54] MATT: It's, for me, at this point in time, it's a lot of remembering what has transpired in the past. If I'm fumbling, like I said, if I'm fumbling. But if I'm not fumbling, then it's almost like. What is it, um, God, there's a, there's a picture, there's a cartoon of like everybody running one way, like they're running away from something. [00:25:20] MATT: And then there's one guy with the, everybody running one way is all like, scared. And the one guy running the other way has a huge grin on his face. Like he's excited. And he's going for it and, it's one of those things that it's all attitude. It's all what you focus on. It's all about what you see and what you don't see. [00:25:44] MATT: So yeah, you know, on, on some level I have a certain, you know, my relationship with my creator is such that, I know they're looking out for me and I know I just have to be, I have to pay attention and I'm going to spot some good stuff. So I'm always looking for good stuff. So, I find 20 on the ground. [00:26:05] MATT: I don't, you know, I don't think about the pothole I just stumbled into. I think about the 20 on the ground. Right. That's all. [00:26:13] FAWN: I tend to redecorate. Not that, and it doesn't require any money. I just move things around or I wear different things. I go in the kitchen, like yesterday, I was feeling anxious. And I go in the cabinet, I'm like, Oh! [00:26:30] FAWN: I forgot, we have these, hot chocolate cans. And since the fall is about to come about, we can have hot chocolate. [00:26:39] MATT: Do we have any spicy hot chocolate? [00:26:41] FAWN: No, but we have some spice you can just put into it. Don't worry, I got you covered. I got you covered. So, I tend to turn it into like, um, I feel like an alchemist. [00:26:53] FAWN: And I go in the kitchen. I make things that are nourishing, and I make everybody huddle. I invite friends over, I'm like, let's have tea together. Or, you know, let's have tea together and, like, cut out pictures from magazines. So, like, tea ceremonies, hot chocolate ceremonies, sweaters. [00:27:09] FAWN: Things that are comforting. And then I'm like, yeah, I'm excited about that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Let's map it out. Let's dream of what's possible. Let's make it happen. Anyway, that's what I do. I hope that helps. I hope that, you know, we're here for you. And I'm sincerely saying that, right, Matt? [00:27:27] FAWN: Yes. We're sincere. Reach out to us. Go to ourfriendlyworldpodcast. com. There's a little microphone. Click on that. Send us a voicemail. Or Instagram and send us a voicemail there. You know, voicemail? What do you call it? I say voicemail, you say something else. Every time, Matt. Voice message? You say, I don't know, whatever it is, reach out to us, okay? [00:27:47] FAWN: Yeah, reach out to us. Email us. Whatever. We love you. We're totally here. You have a friend in us, right? Yes. Is that how the saying [00:27:56] MATT: goes? No, it's, you've got a friend in me and it's a song, but you can't, don't [00:28:00] FAWN: sing it. We're not allowed to sing songs. No singing. Because you get charged or... Something. You, you get fined. [00:28:07] FAWN: Anyway, love you guys. Talk to you soon. Bye. Be well.