Episode Transcript
Speaker: [00:00:00] I want you to listen in, lean in
Speaker 2: and listen to me.
Speaker: Everything is on track. You're perfectly on time.
This episode is about when we feel like it's too late, we've missed the boat. We're out of the loop and we're here as your friends to tell you that you are exactly where you need to be, and it's all working out perfectly and in perfect timing. And it's not actually about being late. Maybe it's about being afraid
we've already been counted out and we have not so tune in. Welcome to our friendly world.
FAWN: Hi everybody. Welcome back to our Friendly World.
MATT: Hello.
FAWN: Alright, so I was remembering something
as your friends, we're here to tell you and to remind you that you are not late for anything, that you're perfectly on time, perfectly on time. [00:01:00] I know that sometimes we feel like we're not, that we feel like it's too late to become financially stable, to invest, to buy a house, to retire. It's too late to catch up with peers.
It's too late to have financial anything. Like it's, it's too late to fix past financial mistakes maybe, I'm just gonna go down the list. Let me know if any of these resonate with you. Too late to stop living paycheck to paycheck, too late to find a life partner, to have children to repair a broken relationship to make meaningful friendships.
Too late to belong to a community. Too late to start over after divorce or loss. Too late to feel chosen, wanted prioritized. Too late to heal old wounds. Unlearn harmful patterns maybe, too late to become confident. Too late to reinvent [00:02:00] yourselves. Too late to forgive yourself. To be who you think you should have been along, to feel proud of your life,
to get healthy. Reverse damage. Fuel, attractive, to feel strong again, to feel pretty again, to feel young, to feel energetic, alive, um,
too late because as time goes on and it feels like time is going by so fast that it feels like
as we live day to day, it feels like everything is mostly about failure. instead of wisdom. I have a few more down the list I wanna go through. , I know Matt wants to chime in, too late, to be an artist, writer, speaker, creator, to publish a book, to start a podcast, to share your voice, to, to be brave to
to matter creatively or in any way, in every way, to take risks without embarrassment, to [00:03:00] understand tech, ai, social media, all these trends. To monetize and be successful financially to start your business or to anything, anything financial. Too late because the rules keep changing. We were just talking about this today. To believe in something again. To trust, to hope. To start over
spiritually, to feel guided or supported. Oh boy. Um. Too late because we have missed a moment.
MATT: And, and I would also argue you're spending maybe too much time looking back and saying, if I had taken that job at Apple when there was only two people there, or Absolutely. Um, you know, had I bought that stock way back when, I'd be a trillionaire right now, had I, um, you know, I, I can't believe I missed the last chance to see so and so in concert.
FAWN: Yeah, you're right man. [00:04:00] All this looking back, but also it's terrible to look forward. Like the other night I was watching a movie and also having kids, they're always tripping out on like, oh my God, you're this old. You are old and talking about themselves like, Ooh, I'm 15, I'm old. And I'm like, oh my God.
So it makes me feel terrible because like, I mean. We weren't necessarily totally young when we had kids, so I'm like, whoa, if you think you're old. And then I think about the future and I'm like, oh my God, in 10 years am I gonna be like decrepit? Like, what if some, do you know what I'm saying? Yes. The future also.
So you have to just be in the moment. But also like this whole thing about being late, it's not only a mindset, but it's, it's, it's built in our systems. Like, um, I've, you know. Just having kids. I noticed this early on, you know, like we couldn't afford to take the kids to ballet or gymnastics. And then finally when we did [00:05:00] get some money together, and not even that much what our first was our firstborn.
I think she was like three years old. Mm-hmm. I took her to gymnastics ballet. Guess what? Too late, too late. It's already started and we were behind. There was no other classes that age and then other, other interests as they got older, like seven years old, nine years old for like, again, ballet or something.
The kids were way too young in that class, so there's nothing they can do within their peer group. It's too late for them. The only peer situation they seem to have is school related, right? What if you are not jiving with your school? What if you're homeschooled or, you know what I'm saying? Yes. Or like you want, a different kind of experience, a different culture.
It's, it's, um, it just feels like everything is set up that way. So if you've missed the boat, you've missed, you are out of the loop. And my thing is, [00:06:00] why, why do we even want to be in the loop in the first place? I don't wanna be in a loop. You know what I'm saying? That
MATT: definitely true. It feels like there's a artificial, frankly scarcity mindset.
FAWN: Absolutely. Yeah. So I am here to tell you, as your friend right here, if you are feeling any of these things, stop it. Just stop. Just stop it. Come on. It's, it's how we're made to feel. If we have good sense about us to go, you know what, that doesn't feel true for me. Mm-hmm. It's not late for me. Well, something's bound to happen.
You're gonna have a kid and you're gonna take your kid to the ballet class and guess what? Too old. Can't do it. All these other kids, they have been training for a long time. They have been dancing for a long time and um, yeah, you can watch. That's literally [00:07:00] what the gymnastics teacher told us. Oh dear, you can watch.
I'm like, I'm sorry, but we paid, I don't remember. Back then it was like $75 an hour, some crazy amount. I'm like, I'm paying this much money for my kid to stand here and watch. Ask for our money back anyway. Someone's always gonna tell you to get to the back of the line to this is not the line for you.
You need to get in line, or whatever it is. And we were talking about this today at the breakfast table, the whole family. Mm-hmm. I'm like, all right kids, what do you think the solution should be? And really like they got all mad and angry and sad again because they remembered not fitting in, right. Not being able to hang out or like take classes with kids their age.
Mm-hmm. It was either like, they were way older than they were or way younger. It was just, it never, nothing clicked. And of course they get mad at us. They're like, if only we were not homeschooled, you know? [00:08:00] Oh dear. I'm like, you know what? In high school, things were not great either. It was not a party. What you guys know of high school, you, you know, through TV shows and movies and guess what, everyone is in a friend group and everyone has friends.
Where would the movie or TV show be without these idealized groups that everyone seems to supposedly have? There would be no story really.
MATT: Right?
FAWN: It's not like that. I was trying to have them understand. It's not this ideal that you see on TV anyway, it just feels to me that this is one way to keep you from making friends.
This is yet another way to keep you down
MATT: and to put you in nice, convenient little boxes,
FAWN: right? Factory based. You belong in this line. You're late punching in over here, it's not gonna work out for you. So now you are not part of the [00:09:00] group.
MATT: Right.
FAWN: And it, it's just untrue. So we couldn't really come up with a solution at the table, but what I just started to think to myself was, Hey, you know, that's why we're odd.
Odd, odd ducks. You know, we, we create our own path. We create our own classes. We create our own groups. We're not meant to fit in.
MATT: And it's the odd ducks who figure out the things that push our society forward. Albert Einstein was a very odd duck. Mm-hmm. Gauss odd duck. Um, you know, Edison. Odd Duck Tesla, extremely odd duck.
FAWN: Nikola Tesla. Yeah, right. They're amazing, talented, creative
MATT: people. These are the people who have the vision to push things forward,
FAWN: and that's your friend [00:10:00] group. Please remember. That
MATT: sounds good to me. Absolutely. And remember, Whether you believe you're standing in heaven or hell, you are.
But that is a good place to train, learn, observe, be,
FAWN: and. Can I just add one other thing? Mm-hmm. About like a note about our culture? Quite possibly, like the American culture especially. It just feels like, um, our American culture. Do you think that it worships early success? I mean, how many old, old wrinkly, well aside from Rolling Stones and like these old men, but like how many really old
female singers do we have that we worship, that we idolize, that are idols? Not very many.
MATT: [00:11:00] They say an opera singer's voice doesn't truly mature until she's at least in her forties.
FAWN: Mm-hmm. And Julia Childs, she was what? She, she got into the game what? Forties, fifties,
MATT: something like, yeah.
FAWN: Um, Martha Stewart, I was just hearing her say she didn't start her business until she was 50, but I wonder, is this true that the the American culture worships early success and quietly shames late bloomers?
And why? Why would we shame late bloomers? Maybe because late bloomers really have it going on because you have more collected, you've had more time to bake.
MATT: I can definitely see that.
FAWN: And you're more centered, more wise. More experienced. Anyway.
This isn't just about age because let me tell you, little kids feel [00:12:00] like they've missed their time, their time is up or whatever. It's not, it's an illusion. You guys,
MATT: people spend too much time looking back
FAWN: and scary forward like doom when they do look forward. Anyway, in
MATT: the moment.
FAWN: Alright, we'll talk to you soon.
MATT: Be well.
FAWN: Have a beautiful every day.
