Episode Transcript
Fawn: [00:00:00] Welcome back everybody. Welcome to our friendly world. Hello. I'm completely
MATT: innocent.
Fawn: Mm. So, uh, remember how I was saying, there was a fear of people coming together at the park because it's, it's seen as like a threat when you see, especially, I guess now it's for everybody, but I was gonna say certain people who look like me if there's a bunch of us walking together or standing together, it comes across as a threat. And now these days, I'm going to say like for everybody it is because usually when you see a lot of people together, it's seen as a protest of some kind. Right.
Instead of friends coming together Right. To. Hang out at a park. Right.
MATT: Un Unless there's a concert or other,
Fawn: yeah. Unless there, yeah, you're right. Exactly. Sporting
MATT: event or,
Fawn: yeah, but then sporting events and even concerts. Concerts are getting
MATT: a little tricky.
Fawn: Because yeah, your team wins or loses.
There's a brawl. [00:01:00] There's chaos. We
MATT: just won the World Series. Let's trash downtown.
Fawn: What I'm tripping on is every time that there's something good. I feel like something bad and scary takes it away.
MATT: When good happens, then bad comes.
Fawn: No, no. When you're doing something good, then
there are examples of bad things that scare you from doing the good thing. I'll just give you the last example I had, which was my main focus, but I had all these other examples. They'll come up later. Okay. But like for example. Oh, this was the other example, like, well, one of the main examples is friendship.
We all know we feel more powerful when we have friends. we are healthier when we have friends. We are richer financially, emotionally, spiritually. There's so much wealth as we're friends.
MATT: Yes.
Fawn: That's the good thing.. sometimes my [00:02:00] conspiracy mind will say, yeah, it was systematically on purpose taken away.
Because when you have people that thrive together, you wanna get rid of that power because they are powerful. So let's separate them. I was an architectural photographer working for big architects. I just found it very interesting how things are set up, that even if you're in a city environment where the homes are so close together, inches away from one another.
You have a wall between you, but it's a completely different reality, and you never interact, right?
You could maybe hear one another, but you don't see each other, things are mapped out designed in such a way where you don't interact and even parks, I dislike park benches, right? Because they're really not intended for people to relax and enjoy.
It's a memorial or our a kid brought [00:03:00] this up last week, we went to a park and they're like, look at that. They put a bar. It was like a longer bench, but they put a bar in between. She's like, look at that. They did that so no one would sleep there.
What would a bar be doing in the middle of a bench?
MATT: Well, it, they looked like a place you could put your arm. Yeah. So it at least looked tasteful.
But you're right. I mean, that's what it was done. That's
Fawn: the excuse. That's the excuse. Then if, if that's the case, then why not have that bar all the time for normal benches, right. For the middle, middle seat aisle. Mm-hmm. If you will. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. It's nefarious. Nefarious. I mean, we can say, no, it's not.
It's for an armrest. Really? No, it's, I don't think so.
MATT: Well at least like, what was it, San Francisco and New York City where they put little metal things right in the middle of a concrete thing, you know, concrete like rail. So skateboarders can't use it, basically. Yeah. At least they're being honest and they're not trying to [00:04:00] prettify it.
It's just there.
Fawn: I'm just saying every time there's something good, I feel like there are forces that can take you away from it. It happens in art too. We've talked about it. We did a show on the War on Art. Remember? I I, I, had you read that book? Yes. We all know about the art of war, but this is the war on art. And what he talks about is that when you're creating, when you're creating anything from writing to painting, whatever you're doing that has this lovely force.
Mm-hmm. Benevolent whatever beautiful force that you're working with, there's always a negative that will come right there to stop you right then and there.
And so that's why you titled it the War of Art, because you need to understand whether it's procrastination or things happen to take your attention off of what your path is, that's what it's there to do. And you need to know that it's this kind of evil force, [00:05:00] that exists and you can't think that it's just happening to you.
It's part of nature. It's like the yin and yang. There is always shadow and light together. Right, right. So I think maybe that's it, but like the other day. Not the other day, but like what? A week ago, two weeks ago, I started walking again. You know Woo. Who? First of all.
Is it called Jim Brat or a Jim Rat?
MATT: Rat?
Fawn: I thought it was brat. I know. I was always. Why didn't you tell me? I've been saying it wrong. 'cause it's
MATT: cuter to say Jim Brat than Jim Rats. It
Fawn: is, it's so much better.
MATT: So, and it
Fawn: suits because Jim Brats are so like high and mighty. Like, yeah, go to the gym. Did you go to the gym?
Do you work out? Do you train? I train. Do you know what I'm saying? Oh my God. That's why I thought it was, it was truly
MATT: funny hanging out with them because like, I could tell, they were like looking me up and down like, well, how come you aren't a gym person, like I'm a gym person, right. And I [00:06:00] would listen to 'em and just like bench this and this hour.
And then I was like, oh yeah, that's cool, man. Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Fawn: And those were all my friends. And before they were my friends. They were my enemies by the way. 'cause yeah. I'm like, they, they judge. They judge hard. So that's why I thought the term was gym Brat. You know what, I'm gonna continue to say brat.
So I was a gym Brat. Now I forgot what I was gonna say. What was I talking about?
MATT: See, you got me. Oh, oh, you got me on the same thing, so, okay. I
Fawn: remember. I remember. Okay. Mm-hmm. So I used to be a gym brat. I would work out all the time and, and then whatever. Then we moved to certain places and I didn't like the gym and I, it just felt not good for me.
And so. It was hard to do stuff, but I'm like, well, okay, you know, I'm moving around, I'm walking around. But even that kind of stopped because every time I stepped out without Matt, and this is when everything was starting to shift long before it happened for the [00:07:00] masses, I feel like, you know, like it was brought to everyone's attention.
Who's maybe not looking like me? Um, oh, I sound terrible. I'm sorry. Let me just say, say it like this. It just, I didn't, I stopped walking even, like, I just didn't work out, you know? Mm-hmm. I didn't, and then you, I can blame it on being a mom because I slept when I still sleep like four hours a night.
And if I'm lucky, and then I'm like on the go all day, on the go nonstop. So I'm like, I don't even have any energy to work out. Are you kidding me? No. So anyway, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna start walking. So start walking with a passion, with a mission. Mm-hmm. You know, an hour and a half, poof. And the kids came with me and were like, like, feeling so good.
And then we started to find out that a, a body was [00:08:00] discovered on that trail. So I'm like, okay, kids, what? We're not Whoa. Time
MATT: out. Time. Seriously. Yeah.
Fawn: I told you, not, not in our neighborhood, but like. A few miles. Okay.
MATT: Far, far, far away.
Fawn: Not that far. Really? Yeah. Oh, and then I found out through someone in England that there is a, a serial killer.
They're, they're finding, you know, 'cause a lot of women have disappeared, so Of course I tell the kids, I told you guys, I don't want you walking by yourself, so, so let's add some fear. Merry Christmas. I don't care. I don't care. I'm just like, don't go, but let's, let's stir in something good. Stir it in. But I'm just, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's, that's the point of this conversation. Kind of like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take it back to a positive place, I promise. But, but that's what happened. Like, here was something good I was doing, trying to feel better because today's conversation is about walking [00:09:00] and how that relates to friendship
and also Optimum Health. But the thing is that, here it is, it's like taken away, much like the war on, on art, and I'm like, well, okay, well, well, we can all go together. But the energy of it to overcome that fear and anxiety. I'm like, nevermind, I don't even wanna do it anymore.
Do you know what I'm saying? Like I just got, mm-hmm. Like low. Right.
Even a little bit, not clinically, but even a little bit depressed, mm-hmm. Like why bother, why bother doing anything? And we were at the post office and we were having a conversation and we were talking about documents and everything. And I'm like, you know, I'm an American citizen, but like there is that fear like, oh my god, what, what kind of documents would I need to have on me just in case these days, you know, in America, right.
And he is like, [00:10:00] don't worry about it. I think it's a lot of hype. I'm like, is it though? I mean, and then he saw that I started crying, like the, the pressure had built. Mm-hmm. And then he also saw how one of our kids put her hand on my back to stop me from crying or not to stop me from, stop it.
Not to stop me from crying, but to like, give me support. Like she knew. Right. I know. Uh, oh, mom's voice. Um, there it is. Cracking, cracked, and so. And then the tears gushed. 'cause someone was nice, you know? Right. And then I saw the look on this man's face who worked at the post office change. 'cause he was like kind of all business and then all of a sudden mm-hmm.
He's like, I do understand though. I mean my mother has lived here for 65 years. Mind you, he's totally Caucasian. My mom has lived here for 65 years and she's terrified of going out now because he feels, even though she's a citizen, she feels that even though she's a citizen mm-hmm.
Has been for 65 [00:11:00] years that she's gonna be taken away. Or like, you know, take in and how do you prove you're a citizen? He's like, you know what? I wouldn't know how to prove I'm a citizen either. Like, here's a white American right telling me this. So it was so lovely to even just, it was lovely. It was actually lovely to have that interaction.
He wanted to say, oh, don't worry. You're making it worse than it is. And then he caught himself. He's like, no, you know what,
MATT: you know what? I'm not gonna poo poh you, I'm going to maybe, hopefully help.
Fawn: Like you're not crazy. You're not the only one who thinks this way. My 80 something year old mother.
Still feels the same way as you do, right? Anyway, so it got me thinking more about our interactions and what we can do beyond, or in addition to friendship. So. Today, I, I just wanna talk about walking, and again, I'm like, okay, well let's put a group together and walk. And I thought, [00:12:00] uhoh, if it's a group of people, it's seen as a threat.
Like I'm trying to not bring any attention to anybody. I'm trying to just be quiet.
MATT: It, honestly, it seems like if it's man and woman, it's okay. If it's woman and woman, it's okay. Everything else becomes super tricky. Now what else
Fawn: is there? Whatcha, are you talking about
MATT: two people? Yeah, I'm talking max of two people.
As soon as you get more than two people together. I see. And they both can't be men, which is fun. Um, that I've seen on the trail. As soon as you get, like if I was to join a cycling group, I feel like I almost feel like I would have to dress like a cyclist, which I don't. I wear sweats, a t-shirt and an over shirt when I go out.
Fawn: And you look crazy, Matt. I do. I mean, I have to go back to when we first met, I was scared of you. You should be. You look [00:13:00] like a thug. You
MATT: should be.
Fawn: You look very scary.
MATT: Actually. I think I've softened lately, but.
Fawn: People
MATT: are being nicer to me lately, and I'm trying to figure out why.
Fawn: I think it's where we live.
MATT: Mm. Maybe but I wanna say it's just happened in the past, like three, three months honestly. But like, well, I feel like if I was cycling, you know why with a group of cyclists, I'd have to wear a, the uniform
Fawn: I think. I'm sorry to go back just to for a second. Mm-hmm. I think that's because you've become part of the community and lots of people know you.
MATT: That is true. And
Fawn: There's a sense of relief. There's a lot of pressure off of your heart when people know you and they're, they know you're cool, they know you're okay. You know what I'm saying? At least
MATT: I'm not bad.
Fawn: Right?
MATT: But, no, but seriously, but I think that's why you feel more comfortable. If I joined a cycling group, I feel like I would have to go out with the full gear and like when I go to a, a meetup,
It's in an enclosed space, but I still feel [00:14:00] like we spend the first five minutes, everybody in the group, and those are the only people around telling, you know, tell us who you are. Mm-hmm. Basically is, is is how it always starts. And so everybody starts with a, okay, he's okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. She's okay.
Okay. They're okay, you know?
Fawn: And that's another thing that I noticed when I was on my power walks mm-hmm. Is I really wanted to just be in my own head and clear away whatever negativity I was feeling, whatever hardship I was feeling. Mm-hmm. Whatever, sadness, fear of money, all this stuff that's normally screaming in my head.
I just wanted to just be by myself and just let go. Okay. But what I found myself having to do was any person that I saw on the trail, I had to make them comfortable. And I know that on our show and with our whole idea of friendship, we always say, you treat the world as [00:15:00] the world being your home. And whoever you see, that person is your guest.
Mm-hmm. Make them comfortable. Right. But I have to tell you that sometimes when I feel like people are always assuming certain things about me, I'm tired of the whole trying to make myself energetically so over the top, making other people feel comfortable. Right. For example, when I was giving birth at the hospital, every time I was alone, they assumed I didn't speak English.
They would yell at me. And they would be so mean because they thought I was an illegal immigrant who didn't speak English. The way I was treated until maybe if you came back and they saw you with me and they saw that I spoke English, it changed. But it's, it not still, still not that much. Do you know what I'm saying?
Mm-hmm. So I have to like, even taking [00:16:00] our kids to, like doctors who don't know us, I, I make it a point to tell the kids, and even for myself, dress up even fancier than you normally would. Nice shoes, nice everything so people don't get the wrong impression of you. You know, like it's a lot of work. So on the trail I had to, even though I was in an upset mood, I had to put on a genuine smile and say hello.
Good morning. Where I didn't wanna do that. Right. So that was extra energy. So I think that's another reason why I'm like, you know what? I really don't wanna walk anymore. Forget it.
MATT: So you, you gotta go super early in the morning. I went for a ride yesterday, 5:30 AM I took off. Yeah. But now didn't see, and anybody, but
Fawn: now I'm worried about the killers out
MATT: there.
I know, I know.
Fawn: So anyway, back to the war of art. What do we do? Lemme just talk about walking though. Maybe it doesn't have [00:17:00] to be a group of us walking, so people are not threatened by like, what are those people doing walking together. But let's say it's like three people.
'cause I, you know, I heard even two women got accosted like two. Mm-hmm. So it's not enough to have two like. It's just good to be with people even if you don't know them as friends, like get a neighborhood walk together. Maybe like just, Hey, ask, look. I don't even wanna have a conversation, but we accompany each other on a walk?
And if conversation comes up, great. You're not obliged to speak. Maybe, you know what I'm saying? Right. I'm, this is what I'm thinking of doing just as a way to get something going with a little tiny group, but. I wanna talk about what walking actually does. So I was looking at one of my favorite podcasts.
It's called The Diary of a CEO, the guest, uh, he had on was Dr. Courtney Conley, Dr. Courtney Conley. [00:18:00] She's a a foot expert. this is what she was saying, that there's research that on average, an average step count globally is like 4,500 to 4,900.
That's average, but there's a lot of us who actually take less steps than that. And then she was saying that if you look at your baseline. Let's say your baseline is 2,500 steps a day. If you increase it by 500 more steps, you reduce the risk of cardiovascular mortality by 7%. And then she goes, if you add another 500 steps,
so if you take, like, if your baseline is 2,500 a day, 500 reduces, vascular mortality by 7%. But if you go from 2,500 to 3,500, so like if you add a a thousand steps, you reduce your risk of all cause mortality [00:19:00] by 15%. That means everything. I'm like, yeah, well what about the killer out there?
Oh dear. But you know what I'm saying? Yes. Anyway, by, by the way, we're not health experts, so I'm just repeating what I heard. Okay. Um, alright. So. That's interesting. And then she goes, the risk of all cause mortality by 15%. That was really interesting.
Okay. And then she started talking about depression. 5,000 steps a day can reduce the risk of having depression, 7,500 steps a day, it can reduce the prevalence of the diagnosis of depression. 9,800 steps per day can reduce the risk of dementia. So that's 9,800, but 3,800 steps, you can get 50% of the maximal benefit of that, even like less like half of that, you'd still get [00:20:00] lots of benefit.
And so she was saying that she wasn't going to be like all the other doctors to say, okay, just put this insert in and put that in and don't walk and, you know, let's, you know, give you all these things that he's, he had tried all these things, right? He had, he had had years. It was chronic pain. And so she said the main focus was to get him to start walking.
Right. And so she did. And Matt's laughing at me 'cause I was telling him all this. And he is like, I'm like, I know. 'cause Matt starts laughing. He's like, I've been telling you this, I've been doing this. I'm like, I know a lot of things. Things I find out, I'm like, Matt does this naturally, right? So she said, she calls them micro walks.
You get up and you walk for five minutes and you come back. Go for a five minute walk. That's it. And here's the breakdown on that. So five minutes is like 500 steps, but if you go for 10 minutes, it's 1000 [00:21:00] steps.
MATT: That being twice.
Fawn: Yeah, I know. But it's easier to say a 10 minute walk. Yes. Or five minutes there.
And five minutes back. Right. Let's just go five minutes away. Mm-hmm. And come right back. That's 10 minutes. Yep. So if we do that like a few times a day. It's only 10 minutes.
MATT: Yep.
Fawn: It can improve everything. It, first of all, it improves your psyche. When we're not with people, when we're not making money, when things aren't the way that we want them to, we tend to get depressed.
And I'm not, hopefully not clinically depressed, but you know, we, we get low down in the dumps and. When you're that way, you don't wanna hang out with friends or make friends or anything like that. You just wanna be left alone. I'll speak for myself. That's how I feel. I'm like, why bother? People piss me off anyway.
People suck. I'm just saying those thoughts come in.
MATT: Yes. I don't wanna be judged. I get it.
Fawn: Oh, and I haven't been moving and I don't feel as [00:22:00] sexy as I was before, so I don't want people looking at me. My, my clothes don't, I just don't, I don't wanna deal with judgment, whatever. These are all the thoughts
i'm sure a lot of people have. I know I have, of course I have. Of course, I'll speak for myself. To
MATT: me, the biggest thing is oftentimes when you're, I work from home, which is a blessing, but sometimes you get caught up in the BS at work and going, taking a walk is like hitting this giant reset button and reminding you that there's a whole world out there.
And that is a good thing regardless of any other benefit, is the fact that I can, I can be like, oh my God, I'm so frustrated. These people are just, you know, so and sos and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I go outside and I take a walk and then I'm like, me, whatever.
Because, 'cause they're trifling at the end of the day.
Yeah, yeah. Because my world should and is so [00:23:00] much bigger than, than any job could ever be. Yeah, and I get reminded of that. I also think another aspect of why it, it can be so healthy is 'cause when you're walking it on some level doesn't matter where. And I'm very blessed. I have a great walk I can do, but like
your brain's firing the whole time. If you're walking in a, in a super urban environment, it's like you've gotta watch out for cars and you've gotta be paying attention to the walk signs, and then don't walk signs and pressing the buttons and speeding up and slowing down to hit the lights. Right? If you're walking in the countryside, then you're like looking and seeing, oh my God, there's a bear, there's a bird, there's a raccoon, there's a, there's my neighbor.
There's, there's, there's, you're constantly, your neurons are constantly firing and in, you know. They're constantly firing and I would say
Fawn: my neurons are constantly firing in the city. Ooh, look at those shoes. The old exactly. The shops, you know, I love it. Exactly. You're, you're just boom [00:24:00] smelling the boom, boomy, boom, boom.
And
MATT: there's always something a little different. Like I'm to the point now where I'm like, Hey, wait a second. That car's had that tailgate open for like the past day. What's going on there? Oh, they're fixing the drains. Hmm. What's going on there? I mean, oh my God. It's, it's twisted. And one of our neighbors has, has had a nurse come by and we happen to have seen it twice and she hasn't moved her car so.
I'm gonna be checking on her.
Fawn: Yeah, I know, I know. I talked to her son. Okay. So, um, so that's it. I, I think that's the, um, advice. I know we've been talking about walking for a few episodes now, like it kind of comes into our conversation, the walk. And so that's why I thought today, let's just actually concentrate on it, but also concentrate on
whenever you have a good idea or a good thing you're doing, be mindful that the negative will come along to try to, veer you away, steer you away from the good thing that you're doing, and [00:25:00] so just go with smarts, go with protection, go with love, go with an expectation that you are held in a wonderful light with safety and health, and lots of beautiful support and focus on that.
MATT: Sounds good.
Fawn: That's it. We'll talk to you soon in just a few days. I'll talk to you later. Thank you for listening.
MATT: Be well.
