Episode Transcript
FAWN: [00:00:00] There is a hidden magic in how people help us grow Reminding us here today to remind you that good or bad, everyone is influencing us and
Today we're talking about
the extraordinary opportunities and legacies that shape us, that we can't even see, that exist In realms that are, again, dare I say, pure magic. Thanks for tuning in. Here we go. Welcome back, everybody.
MATT: Hello.
FAWN: Welcome to our friendly world. I wanna give credit to this wonderful book called Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.
I'm gonna quote it a little bit. "The people who stand before kings may look like they did it all by themselves, but in fact, they are invariably beneficiaries of hidden advantages and extraordinary opportunities and cultural legacies that allow them to learn and work hard [00:01:00] and make sense of-"
the world in ways that others cannot. If I can use an example that he talks about in this book, saying that when you look at an oak tree, This is a direct quote: "The tallest oak tree in the forest is the tallest not just because it grew from the hardiest acorn.
It is the tallest also because no other tree blocked its sunlight. The soil around it was deep and rich. No rabbit chewed through its bark as a sapling, and no lumberjack cut it down before it matured." And then he, he talks about successful people. You know, y- we may think, "Oh, sure, this person was born into wealth," or, "This person had this advantage," or he, he just...
You know, we hear about all these successes and we think, "Oh, they just worked hard and, and they just, they made it [00:02:00] happen." But really, there is a mysterious force that, I mean quantumly, like ev- qua- in a quantum way, everything, all the pieces, dare I say in a divine way, all the pieces come together perfectly orchestrated for every one of us to experience what we're experiencing, and everything is there for our benefit.
It may not seem like it all the time. You know, there are moments where everything seems terrible, but growth, growth is hard. I remember, even though I'm really short- ... I had growing pains.
MATT: Mm-hmm.
FAWN: Right? It, it hurt, and I know our kids had growing pains. You know, our littlest one, growing... Remember the growing pains?
Mm-hmm. My goodness.
MATT: I do.
FAWN: And this kid has like, thank God, like the longest legs.[00:03:00]
But it, it's just really interesting to look at, like If we look at people... When we started this podcast, we talked about how, what we would think random people out there Affected our lives, even if it was a meeting that lasted 10 seconds or a friend that, like an angel stepped in for a short m- moment in history, the history of our lives, right?
Showed up just for a, a moment but-
MATT: Mm-hmm ...
FAWN: we grew so much from it, or we changed from it, or we were inspired by it. It, it... Or we changed direction.
MATT: Right.
FAWN: Right? Um, and in a way, they are the sunlight. Like how a tree needs to grow, other people are our sunlight that [00:04:00] warm us, that, that make us rich. And what I'm trying to say is that even if it seems like we're alone or we're lonely, we aren't.
We have all these extraordinary circumstances, uh, uh, this, this beautiful, magnificent symphony that is happening on a spiritual level that is guiding us and helping us grow. And there are times, like I said, when it seems terrible, and there are times when we can step back and go, "Aha, I see. That was for my benefit."
And that's what we wanna talk about today, The ways that we were helped to flourish, even, dare I say, the ones who stepped on us made us stronger because we're still here, right?
MATT: Right.
FAWN: So we grew thicker.
MATT: Right. Right, and we can see [00:05:00] similar things happening, but you're, you've kind of missed the biggest one.
FAWN: I missed something?
MATT: The biggest one is that we're here. Mm-hmm. What are the chances that that egg, that sperm, that time, that would have thrown together that genetic soup that we ended up coming out of?
FAWN: Absolutely. It's purely mystical.
MATT: You know, there's, there's a song by a band called Nightwish where they, they, they like, vroom, they're like playing away, blah.
And then all of a sudden it just cuts to a voice who's like, you know, "It's a miracle." You know, how many Shakespeares and Einsteins were never born? And here we are. That's the biggest one. That is the biggest one. And then we can also take a look at nature with the whole stomping down, right? So I went to UC Santa Cruz.
UC Santa Cruz is filled with coastal redwoods. Coastal redwoods [00:06:00] are fascinating because the bark doesn't burn, and periodically there are fires that come through to clear away underbrush. More importantly... Well, not more importantly, but one of the important things they do is they get rid of, uh, invasive species, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But that's the only way that the seeds can actually get out of the cones that they're in. So that's the only way a redwood tree can be born.
FAWN: Is through fire?
MATT: Is through fire. And typically what happens is, is there's a parent redwood, whoosh, and it has, as I'm gesturing, right? You know, it, it, the branches all come out from it, and let's say they're all equidistant and, like, hundreds of feet up, and the seeds fall in a circle around them And so all of the trees, all the redwood trees in Santa Cruz were in circles.
FAWN: Mm.
MATT: Wow. But what would happen would be the [00:07:00] bark is all flame-proof except if it gets exposed, and it gets exposed down at the root level. And so a fire comes through and it kills off the, the mama trees, and then all the babies are born, and that's how it happens. That's-
FAWN: Kind of like the octopus. Remember that documentary we saw?
The mother octopus gives all its energy for the babies- Mm ... and then dies-
MATT: Mm-hmm ...
FAWN: for them to survive.
MATT: Right.
FAWN: You know what else I heard a long time ago was, um, oh, is it called mycélium? What is it called? They're like mushrooms that are in the ground, not necessarily that you can see. They're like fuzzy.
Right? Well, okay, but here's the thing. Okay, but here, here's the general thing that I remember is the tree... There's like a network, like a circuit network- Oh, right, right,
MATT: right. Yes ...
FAWN: where the trees can sense other trees, and if they sense that there's a tree in trouble, is [00:08:00] not feeling well, is sick a little bit, that they send healing nutrients through these m- fuzzy, mushroomy things, and they feed the one that needs help.
So another example, you know how we always turn to nature as an example of what life really is all about? You know, it's a pattern- Right ... that we can see in nature that, uh, we can hopefully recognize in our own lives. There is a pattern of connectivity. There is a pattern of working together, supporting one another, even though we may not see it, right?
MATT: Right.
FAWN: Like, even the enemies, the evildoers, the, the terrible, nasty people. You know who you are.
Uh, whatever.
MATT: A- and sometimes even what we may perceive as our [00:09:00] disadvantages-
FAWN: That's what I was trying to say ...
MATT: turn out to be advantages. Mm. There's a, there's a Zen koan. No, it's not a koan, actually. It's just a story. But there's a, a Zen story about, it's called the gnarled tree, and it's about this massive tree spreading branches that's huge, and it's the only one for miles around.
And the only reason why that tree existed was because- People who wanted to get boards for houses, you know, and, and whatnots. This thing had no straight branches anywhere. And so it was, quote-unquote, "useless." And then what they discovered was, like, the shade from the branches was good certainly in the summertime, and so everybody would bring their, you know, as they were traveling through, they would stop there, camp under the branches.
And so it's, it's, it's like its biggest reason for existing [00:10:00] was because it was perceived as useless and then it became useful.
FAWN: Mm-hmm.
MATT: Which is a- Oh, that's pretty ... fascinating thing to think about.
FAWN: Yeah. That's really beautiful. Um, yeah. I mean, so there you have it. I'm sure as we, as we think about this idea, we can have thoughts of how intricate that web is of how we're connected.
I mean, just the other day, I had a terrible day, very stressful, and, um, there's one of my friends I hadn't, just because time goes by so fast and we're all involved with so many tasks every day, that I haven't had a chance to speak with her. Mm-hmm. It's been three, three week- no, I'm sorry, three, like three months at least, and, um, I received, uh, a, a letter from her, like through the mail, a handwritten beautiful letter.
And [00:11:00] it said, "I've been thinking about you. I feel like you're in distress. I feel like I'm getting SOS signals from you. I hope I'm wrong, but if, if this is true-
MATT: Mm-hmm ...
FAWN: send me..." It, it was so funny. I wish I had it here with me to, so I could read it out loud to you because it was so funny and beautiful. But telling me, "Hey, send me, um, a message back, text me, send me Morse code, uh, smoke signals, ESP, whatever you got, send it.
I'm here. Um, call me, just I'm here for you." And then it also told me, like she also told me this one particular message that she had for me, and it was perfect. It's exactly what I needed to hear at that hour, the mailman delivered this letter. And something about our friendship, this happens to us back and forth all the time.
I mean... And so I called her immediately. Mm-hmm. And she's like, [00:12:00] "Wow, I can't believe it got there so fast." But I'm like, I, I, I'm just so stuck in the wow of it. Right. Not stuck, but like I can't believe it showed up at that hour. It is fantastic. This is proof that time doesn't exist, that, that everything is orchestrated perfectly.
We just need to calm down a little bit- You know, to, to, to not be so crazed and affected by stress and fear and all of that, right?
MATT: Right.
FAWN: Anyway, did you have another example to talk about? Okay.
MATT: Sorry.
FAWN: I thought when we were sitting and having coffee and I was saying, "You know I wanna talk about this." Yep.
Did you already talk about it?
MATT: Yep.
FAWN: And what, it was what? The tree?
MATT: The redwood tree.
FAWN: Oh, I thought it, I thought you were gonna talk about a person.
MATT: Nope. '
FAWN: Cause I was saying sometimes there are people who [00:13:00] do step on us and, and hurt us, but some breakages lead to your bones getting stronger.
MATT: Well, we could-
FAWN: Right?
MATT: we could talk about Major League Baseball pitchers.
FAWN: Mm-hmm.
MATT: Microfractures throughout their arms. Um, they heal and their arms end up weighing, like, way har- bleh, heavier than the other side. It's their pitching arm. But they get stronger and stronger and stronger. Because
FAWN: they pitch with that arm all the time.
Yes. It tears down at their bone.
MATT: It m- the micro breaks in their bones- Right ... they heal.
FAWN: So it's, like, way more powerful than the other arm.
MATT: Exactly.
FAWN: Because of the break- the min- the minute little over and over breakages, right?
MATT: Yes, the microfractures.
FAWN: Microfractures. Woof. Microfractures. Okay. Well, that's it.
Um, really glad you're listening. Thank you so much-
MATT: Indeed.
FAWN: Thank you ... for your lovely messages. We'll talk to you in a few days. Have a beautiful every day.
MATT: Be well.
