Lesson from the Blue Jay on Authentic Communication and Revealing Authenticity

Revealing authenticity is one of the major things that keep us from having true friendships and good relationships. This week, we explore the reason for when we expose our feelings, it feels like we create even more problems and we're oftentimes left to be misunderstood. And it just creates more of a situation where you have to talk about it and we don't talk about things. So things are left unsaid. Things are left undone, and if you carry on a friendship, a relationship, over a course of years, it really builds disconnection. The wires of our connections get crossed and become incomprehensible. In this conversation, we include white lies (any kind of lie) and reveal why it is dangerous.

We also turn to nature for signs. The significant sign that was revealed before our podcast was the BLUE JAY! What's the spiritual meaning of Blue Jays? We find that the blue jay is associated with authentic interpersonal and creative self-expression.

What's at stake here? We could be erasing parts of ourselves, over time, chipping away at our authenticity and communication skills, at our confidence, and then everything of importance gets destroyed. But if we can remember that person who judges us (creating a barrier for us to be authentic) even if it's our own self-judgment, our own thoughts, our own mind about ourselves, like “who am I to go and pursue this? I looked terrible today. Oh, I'm too fat. I'm too skinny, I'm too old, I'm too young,” all those judgments; we have to be aware of that and know that that's coming from a place of insecurity. But why do we feel the need to keep going like this?

It's because we don't have enough friendships out there. When we have our crew (even if it's just one person) with us that has our back, we are stronger. The world would be so much better if we could express our thoughts and know that someone was backing us up. If we see an injustice happening and it's just us standing up for something, chances are we may not say anything, because we'll be outnumbered and destroyed in some way. But if there's someone else saying it with us, there's great power in numbers.

Blue Jay - Authentic Communication TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] FAWN: Hi everyone. .

[00:00:01] MATT: What was that?

[00:00:03] FAWN: My throat made a weird sound, .

[00:00:05] MATT: Fair enough.

[00:00:06] FAWN: It made us sound like the other day I was talking to someone very, very important to me like,

[00:00:13] MATT: like me,

[00:00:14] FAWN: like you sweetheart. But it was my first meeting with them and it was, it was for like a career making move situation. It was my first meeting and I had my mega

[00:00:26] FAWN: professional voiceover mic on while we were on Zoom. So this thing picks up everything and I, I just happened to be sitting in like a lotus position while I was talking. So my stomach was closer and my stomach made the loudest sound. My heat, my stomach, my

[00:00:44] MATT: never makes sense. ,

[00:00:47] FAWN: I was, I didn't know

[00:00:49] FAWN: What do you do when that happens?

[00:00:51] MATT: Exactly. What do you do?

[00:00:52] FAWN: I mean, it went on for a while. Like it was like, Hey,

[00:00:59] MATT: I, you know what? Oh my goodness. Yeah. When I was in, uh, offices with other people mm-hmm. and yeah, my stomach started to make strange noises. I would actually just start to cough

[00:01:13] FAWN: That's like, A long time ago, if I went over to a boyfriend's house, I would turn on the shower when I wanted to pee. But, uh, it's like now that I think about it, I'm like, why would you be taking a shower? Dang. Wait,

[00:01:25] MATT: hold on. Hold on, hold on. Or even worse, what if he thought the sound of the shower was you peeing?

[00:01:30] MATT: Oh my God. Anyway. Wow. This

[00:01:33] FAWN: girl's got a lot going. There's something I've been wanting to talk about for a long time, which is authentic communication, revealing authenticity. I've been wanting to talk about this forever. I. . You know, we always, when we started this podcast, we thought, oh my God, we only have a few things to talk about really.

[00:01:49] FAWN: But it's been three years and we've done an episode or three every single week, and there's still so much to talk about. And I'm looking at this notebook with, I don't know, so many posted notes on it. Right? And those posted. , I mean, thick, thick, thick notebooks.

[00:02:12] MATT: Multiple. And I just gave you a new idea today.

[00:02:14] MATT: Mm-hmm. .

[00:02:15] FAWN: And so these, these posted notes are things that we haven't discussed yet, right. We really need to talk about. And one of them was revealing authenticity. And I think this is one of the major things that keep us from having friendships and good relationships is that, and why is it that when we expose our feelings, it feels like we create even more problems because we're left to be misunderstood.

[00:02:43] FAWN: And it just creates more of a situation where you have to talk about it and we don't talk about things. So things get unsaid, right? Things are left undone, and if you carry on a friendship, a relationship, over a course of years, it really builds. . And one of the things I wanted to talk to you about today is somebody I've been talking about on and off on our show once in a while, and it's one of my old friends who, it's funny because one person, Wendy, totally saw the friendship that I had with this person.

[00:03:25] FAWN: . Why are you friends with them? . Oof. Well, no, she didn't put it like that. She didn't put it like that, but she made me question it like, you're right. I know. I don't know. I don't know because this person has said some messed up stuff to me and why is it that I still so respect and like them?

[00:03:44] FAWN: Why? Anyway, so. I decided once again, like it, it's happened a few times. Like I need, I tell myself I need to take a break. I need to step away from this person. And, and then, then I, another thing I do is I, I take on the full responsibility on myself. Like if she said, oh, your Fawn art photography shit, you know, like, or when you proposed to me, Matt and I told her and she's like, "I just wouldn't take him seriously Fawn" you know, which I know bothers you. , . Um, but she said so many messed up things like that to me. Right. If you seem like you're busy, she's like, okay, bye. And she clicks like she doesn't wait for you to say goodbye as well.

[00:04:33] FAWN: , but one of the things that really bothers me about this friendship is from the very beginning, I kept catching her in lies. And you don't, you know, that's a deal breaker for me, Matt. White lies any kind of lie is dangerous in my opinion. And it's stupid stuff. I'm like, why would you even be lying about that, for example, like I keep thinking about all these things that come up when I think about her.

[00:05:00] FAWN: Like when we were getting married, Matt, when we were getting married and we had our venue, this beautiful place in Malibu, it was amazing. She found out where it was and she was visiting. and then all of a sudden had to go. I'm like, okay. So I walked her to her car. I'm like, like, what's the rush? Where are you going? ? And she lied. Now I knew she lied because the venue had called me to tell me that, to, to say, oh, thanks your friend called. to also look at the venue for her wedding.

[00:05:33] FAWN: And it was her. Now she lied about going there. Why would you do that? Stuff like that. Right. This doesn't make any

[00:05:41] MATT: sense to me. Yep. Exactly. Exactly. Cuz if she had chosen to get married there and she didn't, but had she chosen to get married there, it would've been like, uh, kind of the same place.

[00:05:50] MATT: Uh, when did you look at it?

[00:05:51] FAWN: But who cares?

[00:05:52] MATT: That's ridiculous.

[00:05:53] FAWN: I don't care.

[00:05:54] MATT: And there you go. That's the other thing is it is a little ridiculous,

[00:05:57] FAWN: but like, it's stuff like, a lot.

[00:06:00] MATT: Well, okay. And, and honestly I think it funnel star, it feels a lot like the alpha and beta beta friends. She always kind of,

[00:06:11] FAWN: you always say that.

[00:06:11] MATT: Yeah. Saw you as the beta to her alpha.

[00:06:14] FAWN: Like, I'm lower. You're the than she is.

[00:06:15] MATT: She's the leader of the pack,

[00:06:17] FAWN: which is weird. It's just annoying.

[00:06:20] FAWN: So I take on the responsibility like, oh, well, if I get offended, that's on me. . You know what I mean? That's who she chooses to be. That's fine.

[00:06:28] MATT: She's frog and the scorpion. Yeah, absolutely.

[00:06:31] FAWN: But yeah, I have to remember that she's a scorpion, that she will sting. And I can't be surprised when she's stinging me, because that's her nature, right?

[00:06:39] FAWN: All right. And maybe I'm also being too sensitive. Like over the years, these are all the justifications that I've had for my, for our friendship

there,

[00:06:46] MATT: there has been a good side. I mean, it's, it. . Everybody's had that friend who always tells them about their significant other and they only whine and complain about them.

[00:06:57] MATT: And you're like, oh my God, why are you with them? It's because they don't tell you all the good stuff. Mm-hmm. , there, there is good stuff here

[00:07:03] FAWN: and I always tell you the good stuff about her. However, over the years, I've had to really take a look at it. Mm-hmm. , and I think that bad stuff is outweighing because all the lies and all the mysterious behavior.

[00:07:19] FAWN: Now she's facing that in her partner and she thinks it's one-sided. And I, I'm of the belief. it, it takes two. Right? Right. Like you attract and Right. Let's say if she even, she wasn't even that kind of person, that lies a lot. Mm-hmm. that if you're with that kind of person for all these years, you will end up having that same behavior because you're around them a lot.

[00:07:48] FAWN: So anyway. I'm choosing to step back, we've had some things happen in our little family that requires all of our attention and energy. Right, right. It's heavy, scary stuff.

[00:08:01] FAWN: And I, I texted her and I said, going through some really scary, scary stuff. , she just ignored it. And then, she's like, I'm going through so much, but you know, I understand pain is pain. I felt like she was discounting me. So I in text, told her what was going on and it's some life and death stuff, right.

[00:08:25] FAWN: And all she did was say, I'm so sorry your girls are experiencing pain. And I never heard from her again. I'm like, are you serious? Thanks

[00:08:33] MATT: for the sage advice.

[00:08:34] FAWN: Wow. Wow. Okay. So, I'm, I'm well, but, but

[00:08:39] MATT: you're a feel good

[00:08:39] FAWN: friend for her. I don't know what I am

[00:08:42] MATT: for her. She calls you to

[00:08:43] FAWN: make herself feel better.

[00:08:45] FAWN: What I've realized is she always calls me to use me. This is how I felt. I've never expressed this out loud to you. I feel like she always calls me to use me as a bouncing board for affirmations. Like she'll say all the things that are wonderful in her life, but they're not really true to what she's trying to manifest.

[00:09:07] MATT: So momentum.

[00:09:08] FAWN: So she's trying to tell me, things are wonderful. And then as time goes on, I realize no, it's not like she actually is quite the opposite, but she's just using me as like, you know how you talk, you know how the spiritual people are like, they talk to the universe and they do affirmations.

[00:09:27] FAWN: Mm-hmm. , she's, she's using me as her audience for that, I feel like. There have been so many cases where I know for a fact she's been lying to other people, she hides things.

[00:09:37] FAWN: , anyway. I don't wanna, let's don't wanna, let's, let's, I don't wanna, I'm just using this as an example to talk about why is it that we are not authentic, that we don't communicate.

[00:09:49] FAWN: Why is it that I have not communicated to her everything that I've noticed about her, because I know it will turn into a fight. I'll be turned down. I will lose the friendship because she won't hear it. She won't hear what I have to say.

[00:10:07] MATT: Well, has she ever opened the door and said, wow, I've noticed this about myself, or my partner has said this about me, and just let it hang.

[00:10:18] MATT: And it's something that's obviously bad.

[00:10:21] FAWN: Never

[00:10:22] MATT: See, she hasn't opened that door, so you, it's hard to walk through it now with me and, and some of my friends, like I know the stupid stuff they've done and I know that they've been called on it by their significant other, and you know, I. , I don't further add to it.

[00:10:40] MATT: I don't reign more fire down on them over that one incident. But then when I start to notice them doing the same pattern, I call them out. But he opened the door by telling me first. Mm-hmm. And otherwise you're presuming, or it may be unwelcome and honestly it's a less deep friendship. I describe

[00:11:03] MATT: I met so and so, we came really close to having a real conversation, but we didn't, you know, turns out I had a real conversation this week with someone I've only had one or two conversations with before. This would be, I call him Esquire because he happens to be an attorney. And we had a very real conversation where we talked about missteps we had made and foolish things we had done, and wise things we had done as a result of making foolish mistakes,

[00:11:32] MATT: but we were both vulnerable to each other. So

[00:11:36] FAWN: you were revealing your authenticity.

[00:11:38] MATT: So I opened the door, or he opened the door. I don't know who did it first, but we both opened the door to allow each other to actually see us as normal human beings. And what's so fascinating is, as we were talking, we were in a public place.

[00:11:54] MATT: Somebody came over and they only wanted to talk about a success that they had had. And we had just been talking in a similar vein about areas where we'd screwed up . And he tried to mention, oh yeah, we were just talking about, you know, times we screwed up and this person refused to hear it and only wanted us to celebrate them on their success.

[00:12:16] MATT: Which is a very super, I know what you're talking about. Superficial world. Yeah. And you know what? Absolutely good for. . They, they, something happened. Complete kick butt thing for them. Totally

[00:12:26] FAWN: cool. You talk about this in business, how people do really well in the stock market. Yep. But you only hear them talking about their wins in this.

[00:12:34] MATT: Well, and that's just stock market. Who knows if they're, if they do well in the stock market, but you hear about the winning trade, you hear about the time that they bet on a horse you never talk and they won 10 million, you know, whatever it is, but they

[00:12:46] FAWN: never talk.

[00:12:47] MATT: They never talk about the 40 times they screwed up.

[00:12:50] MATT: You know, um, I've been going through football picks with a buddy of mine and oh my God, I do, I focus on nothing because I talk about everything and it's like, you know, I meant to pick, but I didn't, so it doesn't count. Or this was my lock. I did, I went two for three on my locks.

[00:13:07] MATT: So, you know, we're, we're very honest and open and forthright. And what's interesting is when I talked to this other gentleman, Mr. Es. I was only going through the things I'd done stupidly. It was really bizarre.

[00:13:20] FAWN: So this is the thing, the authentic communication, the revealing authenticity. I feel like

[00:13:27] FAWN: there's not enough time. I present to you exactly what I am. Right, and I feel like, I think, I think I need to do that more so like in a case like this friend that I just described to you guys about, perhaps I should constantly say I refuse to be around lies. Even the little ones that you think are little are huge to me.

[00:13:48] FAWN: You know, maybe I should say that more and more and more. and really reveal that about myself and maybe I should reveal more of my powers and I don't. Do you know what I'm saying?

[00:14:00] MATT: Yes.

[00:14:00] FAWN: I'm always very much like, um, I don't know in my culture, like if I make you a meal, I'm deprecating of myself, even though I know the meal is beautiful.

[00:14:10] FAWN: Right. I, I refuse to like, maybe take compliments, so I act inferior and so I shouldn't get mad when people think I'm beneath them, but I feel offended when they do . So maybe that's my problem. Like on, on me. I have to reveal more of my authenticity, which is the good stuff. Do you know what I'm saying?

[00:14:31] FAWN: I do. I reveal my authenticity in my foibles, like we've said before, right? But I think. , I have to come across as more powerful and more confident. Which leads us to the topic that we're talking about today. So you were like, you know, we're going through the notebook. I'm like, oh my God, there was really so much to talk about.

[00:14:52] FAWN: What are we gonna talk about today, ? I sat down at my desk and I'm like, I think we should talk about revealing authenticity, like authentic communication. What do you think? And then you got distracted and you're like, oh my God, there are all these blue Jays outside right outside our door,

[00:15:08] MATT: like five.

[00:15:09] FAWN: That was crazy, right? And then one of them started knocking like it was a knock at the door. It was wild.

[00:15:15] MATT: It was.

[00:15:16] FAWN: They were definitely saying something. So, I was at my desk, I started to Google, what does it mean when a bunch of Blue Jays show up ? What's the spiritual meaning of Blue Jays?

[00:15:27] FAWN: And I came across this article and let me tell you, it was great. It actually like . I hope to be friends with this person. So the article is from mindbody green.com. It's written by Sarah Regan, she's a spirituality and relationship writer. And she wrote this article called What it Really Means If You Keep Seeing Blue Jays and What to Do about It.

[00:15:53] FAWN: She interviewed this woman who, is an animal spiritualist Jordana van. Now Matt knows, I'm obsessed with books like I, I want books all the time. Like I always wanna buy books. So do you, I mean you're, but you have a fine collection of like literature.

[00:16:13] MATT: I'm like, fine right now on I'm, matter of fact, I'm thinking I need to pair down a little bit,

[00:16:18] FAWN: but like I have been always intrigued by signs in nature, even though I'm terrified of nature, like terrified . When I first met Matt, when we were first married, actually not when we first met, but when we were married, and we moved to this island, in the middle of the night

[00:16:40] FAWN: you said, let's go for a hike. I'm like, are you insane, man, if we do, we're gonna have to pack lots of heat, like take some guns with us. , because I was scared, like I'd much prefer to go in like a city neighborhood. And take a walk like I would, I, because I, that's more my realm and you're more like nature, like how people would be terrified of going to some unknown neighborhood in a major city in the middle of the night.

[00:17:15] FAWN: I felt more comfortable doing that than taking a walk in the forest in the middle of the night. So, Why am I saying this? Oh, so even though I'm terrified of nature, I've always thought there are signs out there. So I got this book recently on how to read water, how to read the wind, how to read the clouds, and what they're all telling you, like specifically like what's happening.

[00:17:39] FAWN: And um, but anyway, on the other spectrum, I like to always look at the spiritual meanings of things. Like what does it mean when you see Blue Jays? So as I was reading this, About why Blue Jays show up in your life. And I'm not talking about like, oh, you just see a blue jay. When you see a blue jay, and you have a profound feeling about it.

[00:18:01] FAWN: Like you feel like, whoa, something's happening. Like when there's a bunch of them and then one of them is knocking at your door and you're like, whoa, something is happening, right? Someone's trying to tell me something. And I was, as I was reading this, . And as I was thinking of this friend that I'm talking about, I remembered a long time ago, back in the day when I was single. I went to visit her and I decided to go on her balcony just for a few minutes to close my eyes and, think, and Matt, when I did that, like I I, I was doing a little prayer like in meditation.

[00:18:43] FAWN: I'm not kidding you Matt, it felt like all the blue Jays from the neighborhood showed up screaming. You know how loud Blue Jays are?

[00:18:51] MATT: Oh yeah. Very shrill.

[00:18:53] FAWN: And they were all around my head. It was not my imagination because she came out this friend of. She's like, what's happening? And she was, I looked at her, I'm like, do you see this?

[00:19:03] FAWN: Like, , what is happening? Is this normal? Like, is this on your balcony all the time? She's like, never. I'm like, huh. So anyway, so the blue Jay thing is legit, I think the sign that we should follow today and discuss. So going back to this article

[00:19:22] FAWN: Here's what they say about the blue Jay. When the blue Jay shows up, the sign is about authentic interpersonal and creative self-expression. When we are not being honest in our communications, because we're afraid if we speak the truth that we wouldn't get what we want or need. that we would lose what's important to us in our lives.

[00:19:47] FAWN: I mean, think about it at work, how many times are, do we have to be au inauthentic throughout the day because we may lose what's vital to us, right? We have to be inauthentic with people around us because God forbid they get triggered, not because it's our fault, but like we have to be careful. I can't be authentic.

[00:20:13] FAWN: I feel like I can be right now where we live, but for most of my life I couldn't be authentic because I had to constantly think how it would affect people around me that are not comfortable with my color, right, that are not comfortable with me as a woman that are not comfortable with me as a woman from the Middle East.

[00:20:36] FAWN: Do you know what I mean? Or Absolutely. Whatever religion they think I am. Absolutely. So I can't be my authentic self. Even my voice would change. Like I wouldn't, I would try not to be loud. Would they consider loud, you know what I'm saying? Right. So I had to like mute everything down, turn down the volume in all aspects and not be myself.

[00:20:59] FAWN: . So some other meanings, the blue Jay is offering, again, this is from Sarah's article and she interviewed the woman, Jordana Van, who is an animal spiritualist. The other meaning for the blue Jay is acting with confidence. It has another meaning, which is loyalty and partnership.

[00:21:18] FAWN: Did you know that Blue Jay's mate for life, and not only do they mate for life, but they hang out together year-round. Isn't that interesting?

[00:21:27] MATT: It is.

[00:21:28] FAWN: And they have this strong family bond they have loyalty and a sense of protectiveness. And so when you look at Blue Jay's, they seem very harsh and aggressive.

[00:21:40] FAWN: They're protective, they're loyal and protective. The other meaning that came up was judgment. the article said, blue Jay's can also represent being judged by yourself or others. They can also mean we're receiving unfair judgment from others. Are we triggering someone else's ego?

[00:22:00] FAWN: A Blue Jay's message could be telling us. We can never be wrong when we're simply living our truth, even if it bothers or threatens others, I just, um, I don't know. Don't you find that interesting?

[00:22:13] MATT: I do. Yeah. It is interesting. I think Blue Jays, in particular between Blue Jays and like a cardinal, which is red; these are colors that don't really appear a lot in nature.

[00:22:24] MATT: I know the sky is blue, but, you know, they can't camouflage, they can't hide inside of a tree and the cardinal most of the year can't do it either. So I kind of understand why they would have to be loyal and protective and, you know, certainly noticeable, but, . I do find it interesting.

[00:22:44] FAWN: And going back to what I was saying at the beginning, you're talking to a friend and

[00:22:50] FAWN: this is something I learned. When I was in my early twenties, I had no qualms about completely being authentic and I think that that's when I started to hear and see the lessons of why it's not okay to be authentic. Right. Like I remember I dressed up and now this is totally cool to do nowadays, but I had an interview to work on a movie set.

[00:23:15] FAWN: A friend was setting it up for me. Mm-hmm. and I totally dressed up as me Fawn, like I looked ethnic. Okay. Right. And my friend who was setting this up, and it was a movie with Danny Devito. She looked at me and she scolded me and like how her mother scolded her and she said, you are not actually gonna wear that, are you?

[00:23:40] FAWN: You're not gonna go in looking like that. Wow. Oh my God. I wasn't going in for an accounting position. And so we, you know what? One of our friends is an accountant and every day her hair is a different color and she's an amazing accountant. It's like, first of all, this is a creative job. , but I mean, anyway, so when things like that happen and you feel like, what's at stake here?

[00:24:07] FAWN: Do I really need to erase parts of myself to make it happen out there in the world? Do you know what I mean? Yes. Lessons like that over time, chip away at your authenticity, at your communication skills, at your confide, everything gets destroyed, right? But if we can remember everything, that person who, who judges you like that, even if it's yourself having if, if you're having thoughts like that within your own mind about yourself, like, who am I to go and pursue this?

[00:24:45] FAWN: Oh, I looked terrible today. Oh, I'm too fat. I'm too skinny, I'm too old, I'm too young. All those judgments. We have to be aware of that and know that that's coming from a place of insecurity. Perhaps that so-called friend that said that to me before I went in for this interview and I ended up not going by the way.

[00:25:05] FAWN: She was incredibly insecure and maybe she looked at me like, how dare you be yourself? Like, I, I think I was a threat. because she knew my talent. She knew I had a lot to offer for that movie. Mm-hmm. . But you know, she said what she said and she got her way. But why do we feel the need to keep going like this?

[00:25:25] FAWN: It's because we don't have enough friendships out there. If you have your crew with you that have your back.

[00:25:32] FAWN: I always say this, Matt, the world would be so much better if you could express your thoughts and know that someone was backing you up. If you see an injustice happening and it's just you saying something, chances are you may not see it say it right, because you know you'll, you'll be outnumbered and destroyed in some way.

[00:25:55] FAWN: but if there's someone else saying it with you, there's great power in numbers. Correct. Even if it's just one person with you.

[00:26:02] MATT: Very much

[00:26:04] FAWN: so. I think it's the lack of friendships that is causing this inauthenticity. And you see it everywhere. You see it with our relationships. You see it in business in food...

[00:26:17] FAWN: Oh my God. I just revisited a documentary that was done in 2008 about food, "Food, Inc."

[00:26:27] MATT: and we see it in, you're gonna love this. Here's a weird one, plucked from Nowhere. We see it in movies. Yeah. Because what we're seeing nowadays is we're seeing the gee, let's, let's take a look at, um, um, oh God, I forget his name.

[00:26:43] MATT: The. Warrior with many faces, the hero with many faces, which was the classic story that Lucas like ripped and turned into Star Wars. But now we're literally seeing the Star Wars franchise coming out with new product every 30 seconds, the Marvel franchise coming out with new product every, every 30 seconds.

[00:27:02] MATT: And to tie it back to why is it so hard to be authentic, it can be really hard to change that. There's a predictable model that says, gee, Black Panther II should make X amount of money. And you know, a new X-Men movie will make y amount of money and a new Star Wars movie will make Z amount of money.

[00:27:20] MATT: And that's very predictable. Versus if somebody wants to create something brand spankin' new it might make zero or it might make a trillion dollars or somewhere in between and nobody knows. And there's that. It's the unpredictable unpredictability that I think freaks out the accountants, which helps to form this whole uniformity across the spectrum as far as even our entertainment choices.

[00:27:46] MATT: Mm-hmm. . So

[00:27:47] FAWN: it comes down to so many things we talk about all the time, Matt. people who are down to clown with us. Yes. You know, like how it's a term you made up. Right. It's, it's yours. Right. I did not make that one up. You, oh man. , every time I think you have,

[00:28:03] MATT: Mario actually was the first person I heard say it, and I, I thought maybe he made it up, but I don't think so.

[00:28:08] MATT: Cause I've heard at other places too.

[00:28:10] FAWN: Well, like you have to let your freak flag fly and be confident. And it comes back to confidence, which is another thing that the Blue Jay teaches. Right.

[00:28:17] MATT: And again, Inner Popeye.

[00:28:19] FAWN: exactly. Own who you are are,

[00:28:21] MATT: you. Know who you are, know who. Own who you are. And I've been thinking about higher level Inner Popeye.

[00:28:28] MATT: There's a difference between owning who you are and showing the world who you are. And that is next level inner Popeye,

[00:28:38] FAWN: So are we ready to close off with some final thoughts? Oh dear. Or do you have to say something else? I do

[00:28:43] MATT: not

[00:28:44] FAWN: have to say anything else. Okay. So words of advice

[00:28:47] FAWN: if you are feeling judged by others or even when you are judging yourself, release your inner critic. Release your inner critic.

[00:29:01] FAWN: Disregard the judgment of others. Here's a quote from Jordana Van: " If your mindset isn't speaking to you with patience, affirmation, and love, this is absolutely at the top of the list of things that the blue Jay wants you to work on .If you're being judged by others. Here's another quote from Jordana Van. "If the critics are in the minority and you truly love what you're doing, there's no need to give their judgements any weight.

[00:29:35] FAWN: There are always going to be at least a few critics everywhere we go. The universe has designed you to be who you are, and the world needs you to be that person, not who you think you need to be to please others.

[00:29:51] FAWN: And the final message from the blue jay. And our friends, Sarah Regan and Jordana Van, blue Jays encourage us to be confident and strong. If you feel like you need help in this department, study, people you respect, who have respect, who have the respect of others, and use the tools that they're using.

[00:30:17] FAWN: So in a way, start imitating authentically like ex, you know, imitating it, imitating the behaviors, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. or OR ways. Right. But doing it from who you are, combining it with who you are, that will help you. That's it.

[00:30:35] MATT: Sounds good.

[00:30:36] FAWN: All right.

[00:30:37] FAWN: Love you guys. Thank you for listening

[00:30:39] MATT: very much.

[00:30:40] FAWN: Talk to you in a few days.

[00:30:41] MATT: Be

[00:30:42] MATT: well.