Episode Transcript
Me, We TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] FAWN: Welcome back everyone.
[00:00:01] MATT: Hello . She hates it when I do that.
[00:00:05] FAWN: Me, we, Muhammad Ali, me we apparently that is the shortest published poem. Me We, and it's quite inspiring because truly me is we. We are connected. I hate saying that now cuz I keep hearing more and more people out there say, oh, we're interconnected, which is what I've been saying for decades.
[00:00:31] FAWN: Now I'm like, ew, . I wanna figure out a different way to say it, but you know what I mean. Me, we, you are me. Right? Um, shortest poem
[00:00:42] FAWN: remember when we first started our podcast and before the podcast when we started the platonic dating website.
[00:00:50] MATT: Yes.
[00:00:51] FAWN: We used a quote from Muhammad Ali. He was one of them. We had like five people.
[00:00:55] FAWN: Here's a quote from Muhammad Ali. Ready?
[00:00:58] MATT: Yes.
[00:00:59] FAWN: "Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school, but if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you haven't learned anything"- Muhammad Ali. Another quote that I like on friendship from Muhammad Ali is it's Muhammad Ali and Bruce Lee.
[00:01:18] FAWN: Honestly, those two guys, , I have quote after quote from them. They are so inspiring. Always have been my entire life. And by the way, I didn't wanna say Muhammed Ali. It's Mohamed Ali. Okay. Here's another by Muhammed Ali.
[00:01:34] FAWN: " Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought nor sold, but its value is far greater than a mountain made of gold. For gold is cold and lifeless. It can neither see nor hear. In time of trouble it's powerless cheer. It has no ears to listen, no heart to understand. It cannot bring you comfort or reach out a helping hand. So when you ask God for a gift, be thankful if sends not diamonds, pearls, or riches but the love of real, true friends."- Muhammad Ali on friendship.
[00:02:17] FAWN: So just reading those two words, "Me, We" together inspired me.
[00:02:23] FAWN: Because I'm like, which one of these millions of topics regarding the art of friendship, are we gonna talk about today, and I was drawn to that whole concept of that oneness again. I wasn't sure what I was gonna say, but I knew that that was the nucleus, that was the center of it.
[00:02:40] FAWN: And then I got into a terrible, terrible mood. I love our kids. I am exhausted. I am constantly worrying about them. It's always like, it feels like one thing after another and I'm, I'm tired and I have no one to talk to about it. All the other moms are al always so busy and running around and no one has time to actually sit down.
[00:03:10] FAWN: And if we do, maybe the kids are around, so you can't. Be honest and open about how you're feeling, and sometimes you need to express things that you know, that certain things that come outta your mouth sound terrible, but you need to unwrap it and understand why you're having these feelings.
[00:03:29] FAWN: It doesn't mean that they're true, but there's so many things to unwrap. There's so many things to understand. It feels complicated,
[00:03:39] MATT: right ,
[00:03:40] FAWN: Things that you thought you were so open-minded about and you're still open-minded about it and you're accepting of it, and then all of a sudden you are having these other feelings that aren't so open-minded, even though you are open.
[00:03:53] FAWN: I don't know if I'm making any sense.
[00:03:55] MATT: It's a little, it's a little cryptic wrapped in a riddle, but yes. I mean, everybody feels that way. I mean, that's why like the website post Secret exists because my God, some of the things people say on there, Terrible, but it's how you feel and you need to like express it and let it go.
[00:04:13] FAWN: But no, I need to express it and I need someone to tell me it's okay that it's gonna be okay. So I can't just post a secret. It's not a secret. I don't want it to be a secret. I want to explain what is going on with me within these situations. and I want human contact about it. I want, I want like a bounce back from someone, you know?
[00:04:45] FAWN: And unfortunately I can't get into it cuz there seems to never be any time. So today we decided to go out for coffee early in the morning, which is something we haven't been able to do. You and I together? Well yeah. And so we did because I was just in a bad mood. I'm like, forget it, let's just go. Even though I had a lot to take care of and whatever.
[00:05:09] FAWN: So we went and there was this whole, you were so gracious, Matt, cuz I was so,
[00:05:14] MATT: I was lovely .
[00:05:17] FAWN: I was, I was still pissed off. I was tired and angry. And you said, well, we can go to Whole Foods and grab like a vegan croisant there and like have a coffee. and I said, I can't stand going there. I don't want to. And if we go, then I need to buy groceries because I don't wanna go there again and waste gas and like time to drive all the way out there.
[00:05:42] FAWN: So if we were there, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to get some groceries. And you're like, no. Well that defeats the whole purpose of having a relaxing time and just having a cup of coffee. I'm like, well, I can't. I don't have no time. There's no time. , whatever, and it and I, we didn't even come to a conclusion.
[00:06:03] FAWN: You're like, just get ready. Let's just go in the car and we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. And I said, well, we're going. Well, let's just go. Let's just go. And it's interesting how things work out. because, so here we are at Whole Foods and we go up and down every aisle really, really fast.
[00:06:20] MATT: And then well hold on. We decided that we would, you know, it's like, okay, we're gonna shop first and then get coffee, because that way our heads are clear and we are not thinking about all the stuff that we should be buying and stuff.
[00:06:31] FAWN: Yeah. Like, and then we can just relax because that's done, quote unquote relax.
[00:06:35] FAWN: Yes. Right. Whatever, . Um, but we went up and down in every aisle, and I think I used the F word out loud probably 85 times,
[00:06:45] MATT: but we were out early in the morning and so A was reasonably deserted. And B, as it turns out, the lovely people like being out early in the mornings.
[00:06:54] FAWN: The kind people are out during the weekends.
[00:06:57] FAWN: Except for me today, I was not one of them. So I used the F word prob at least 85 times. I, I was, I was saying f you to the almond milk. I was saying f fu to the bread.
[00:07:11] MATT: And then there was that lovely lady who's like, excuse me, you're like, you don't need to say excuse me.
[00:07:15] FAWN: Oh yeah. Someone just walked in front of me.
[00:07:18] FAWN: She said, I'm sorry, cuz she, she thought she was blocking my view. She said, I'm sorry. And I looked at her in a mean way with a mean voice insane, with a mean voice. I was trying to tell her something kind cuz I was not feeling like happy . . I'm tired of women saying I'm sorry for just existing. Like basically she was in front of me existing living her life and she said she apologized for it.
[00:07:42] FAWN: And I said, why are you apologizing? You have nothing to apologize for.
[00:07:47] MATT: I'm scared.
[00:07:48] FAWN: And she didn't know, like I was masked. She was not. So her smile was like, I don't know if I should smile or like, it was conflicted, . But she said thank you. Like she got that it was coming from a kind, deep, deep down kind place, right?
[00:08:10] FAWN: Um, whatever. But like everything I looked at, I was like, F this, F that and then we got to the self checkout and the little robot machine that picks up your scans. It wasn't picking up my scan and I called it a B word .
[00:08:26] MATT: You did, you did.
[00:08:27] FAWN: I called the machine. Bitch. I'm like, bitch loud and this woman
[00:08:35] MATT: who works well, no, no, no.
[00:08:36] MATT: And then, and then like you did something. And I said, oh error, we have to wait. And then there's a red flashing light on top. And that's
[00:08:42] FAWN: what called the personal. I didn't even see that. I didn't even see that part attention. Cause I'm not
[00:08:46] MATT: tall like that. Look up it's way
[00:08:48] FAWN: taller than me. I had to look up, well I, I wasn't looking up cause I was.
[00:08:52] FAWN: right? So anyway, so this nice woman who works there comes up so kind and she's like, oh honey, I can help you with that. And I just looked at her like I was so embarrassed for saying that word out loud thinking I hope she didn't think I called her the B word . I was talking to the robot and so anyway, so she helps me.
[00:09:13] FAWN: She's so kind, and she looked at me, she's like, it's gonna be okay, . And I started crying like I'm doing now because she was so nice and I just needed someone to say it's gonna be okay.
[00:09:29] MATT: Exactly.
[00:09:32] FAWN: Which gets us back to "Me, We", because
[00:09:35] FAWN: it's like I didn't have to explain the whole drawn out, huge story of why I was crying, like, why I'm upset. But for her to say exactly what I needed to hear, even though she was talking, I don't know what she was talking about, but she, she looked at me, she said, everything's gonna be okay. She didn't know me,
[00:10:00] FAWN: Matt, you talk, hold on a second.
[00:10:02] MATT: okay, so periodically I come, I, I come up with a wacky business idea and some are better than others. And once upon a time I had the wacky business idea of like hire a grandma. And this would just be somebody you could call on the phone who would say it's okay dear, and who would listen.
[00:10:18] MATT: I still think that's a great money making
[00:10:20] FAWN: opportunity. There's actually a man on Instagram. His name is Pop Pop, and then his first and last name, and I can't think of it. I'm, I'm following him. I love him so much and every, every post he starts off with offering you a cup of tea at his countertop in his kitchen.
[00:10:40] FAWN: and calls you grandbaby. His grandbaby. Let me tell you something. Grandbaby, can you please come sit, have come have a cup tea you with me? Grandbaby, let me tell you, grandbaby. And he just gives you life advice, like really quick in like 30 seconds. It's so good. And it just, it made me realize, oh my God, I'd never had a grandfather.
[00:11:01] FAWN: You know, like, thank you. Right. I so need that. Right. You know, it just seems like nobody can offer you that kind of guidance anymore because everything seems so new that even the elders in the community are like, I don't know, .
[00:11:18] MATT: Well, certainly systems are changing and that leads to a lot of change, conflict and, and questioning.
[00:11:25] MATT: But I, I think the elders and a lot of elders
[00:11:27] FAWN: have wisdom if they'd offer it, but a lot of elders are also like incredibly like stupid. Like ignorant and racist and like, well there is a lot of that. Sure. A lot of of garbage comes out of their mouth. I'm like, oh my God. . Well, yeah. So it's not always wise.
[00:11:45] FAWN: Age doesn't equal wisdom,
[00:11:47] MATT: truth.
[00:11:48] FAWN: Anyway, so back to "Me, We" back to our community, back to the world is a small town and everyone is your friend. It sounds like everybody's your friend...weeeeee! You know, No. Some friends are nasty, but they still guide you to where you need to be. For example, today, we're at Whole Foods, we got the groceries.
[00:12:17] FAWN: Ugh, sorry. So you got the groceries, you go and, um, you went and put the stuff in the car. . And then I'm like, okay, I'll take the coffees and I'll find us. And the lovely pastries, and I went and found us a table and I disinfected the table
[00:12:36] MATT: because that's what we do.
[00:12:38] FAWN: And as soon as I did, The people next door, like right next to that table. One of them started hacking, coughing towards the table. He was like one foot away. And I said out loud, fuuuuuu, you know I said the F word again,
[00:12:55] MATT: She almost said it
[00:12:57] FAWN: I refused to use bad language on this podcast
[00:12:59] MATT: and that's a good thing
[00:13:00] FAWN: I know, which is. Because I have a truck driving, like no offense to truck drivers out there, . I just have, I have very colorful, bad language. It, it's, it's a stress releaser for me. It makes me feel better. But I won't use it on the show.
[00:13:19] FAWN: Okay. So this person, literally, it was like start, he was fine. As soon as I, I was done cleaning and I put the coffees down. He started hacking away, like without even covering his mouth. So I said the F word and I like in a grumpy, grumpy fashion, picked up the coffees and I like kind of slammed the grumpy coffees.
[00:13:42] FAWN: I slammed them down on another table and and started to sit down and then here you come. And then we sit. and I look at you and at the same time I'm saying what I'm saying. You said the opposite. So I looked at you, I said, Matt, I will never smile again. My life is over. And then you said, how can you, and then you were smiling and you said, how can you not smile at at
[00:14:08] MATT: this?
[00:14:08] MATT: Well, no. You said, what are you so happy
[00:14:10] FAWN: about? I said, what are you smiling at? ?
[00:14:14] MATT: What are you, because I was like, smirking,
[00:14:15] FAWN: like right after I said, I will never smile. . Like, that's how I feel like mm-hmm. , I just feel like everything is effed. Right.
[00:14:22] MATT: And feel the way you're gonna feel. Absolutely. Let it fully manifest.
[00:14:26] MATT: Absolutely. And,
[00:14:27] FAWN: and so, and then you, you said, how, what did you say? You, how can you not smile? How
[00:14:31] MATT: can you not smile? Look at these. Look at these people next to us. So
[00:14:34] FAWN: I look right next to us, like literally a foot away and look at them and I immediate and I thought, he's not gonna make me smile. Nope. And no one I look at is gonna make me smile.
[00:14:45] FAWN: Yep. And I swear to. I looked over
[00:14:52] FAWN: and I had to like, my torso went back like I was like in shock. Like what? And I immediately started smiling, like genuinely. And we talked to these people. They're gonna be on our show.
[00:15:08] MATT: Never underestimate my kung fu
[00:15:10] FAWN: guys. It was not that they were twins. There were something about these people. They're identical twins.
[00:15:17] MATT: 90, 99 0.9%. Yeah.
[00:15:19] FAWN: They had a genetic test and they're 99.9% identical and oh my goodness, they still dress the same. They live together. They, it was, we sat there for what, two hours Matt?
[00:15:34] MATT: I don't know, something like
[00:15:36] FAWN: two hours, and it was still not enough like. Both of us had, you know, both sides had to go because we thought we would each side, each table thought that we were just gonna be there for three minutes, two hours talking anyway.
[00:15:52] FAWN: Which brings me back to "Me, We" how it's a small town and everyone is your friend. Well, our friend started hacking away, coughing, so I would move over to this table. Like the chain of events that occurred for us to meet this morning was purely weird and magical. Very, yes. It was amazing. So
[00:16:15] MATT: serendipitous.
[00:16:17] FAWN: Ooh, we, oh, so there you go. . And when I wanted to talk to you all about, about me, we, and especially the first quote from Mohammed, Mohammed Ali. Is that, you know, he said friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. That is so true. We don't learn that in school.
[00:16:42] FAWN: Everyone says, oh, that's where friendships are made, is in school. That it's so much harder to make friends when you're older that the kids are so lucky because that's the opportunity and it's really not. It's like you're forced to be in a situation and these are acquaintances. You're not really thinking about true friendship and what is true friendship, and you're not taught relationships.
[00:17:07] FAWN: You're not taught in school the most vital thing to learn to do anything in your life. We need to relearn how to relate to one another. How we can understand one another. How can we be heard? How can we be a good listener? Good listeners? How can we be good listeners?
[00:17:29] FAWN: How? There's so many hows, and we're not taught any of that. It's straight to reading, writing, arithmetic. And maybe if you're lucky enough, if the school's gifted enough, some art; which is so backwards.
[00:17:45] FAWN: So my point is, yeah, you're not taught that in school. So, if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you haven't learned anything. And I think that's why we have so many problems that we do, because. in society for the most part.
[00:18:03] FAWN: We haven't learned anything. And you know, a friend of mine says that, and he made a huge, YouTube about it. It was like scary. And his line was, we haven't learned anything. And I'm like, This message definitely needs to be heard by people, but I don't think it's a good way to bring people to change. If you keep saying you haven't learned anything, because it's defeating. It's like saying, well, I'll never do it then. Then the, it's such a big mountain to climb, that why bother? Whereas if you say, this is what we're about, we're about love, we're about doing great things.
[00:18:44] FAWN: Come on, let's do this, that you can drive people to strive for better and, and drive people to create and to transform a better way when you come at it from that angle. But I understand his angle because yeah, a lot of people are so, um, numb and not aware that yeah, you need to learn and you need to learn all these bad things are happening and they need to be aware of that for them to, emotionally pick that up . Whereas most of us listening here right now, we are already emotional about it. We already understand it, so we need a different way to hear it. Do you know what I'm saying? We need more encouragement.
[00:19:27] FAWN: We need to hear the world is a small town and everyone is our friend. Let's create a tea party.
[00:19:37] FAWN: Let's, let's pick up this trash. I think we can use this to make the environment more happy and clean as opposed to
[00:19:47] MATT: continuing on the way we have it.
[00:19:48] FAWN: The coral reef is dead as opposed to. . It's beyond repair, global warming, disasters, climate change, no turning back. You know what I'm saying? Yes. It's such a mammoth thing to take on as opposed to we are infinite beings. We are powerful beyond measure. We are supernatural. By mere imagination, we can create so much beauty and transformation within a second, a split second. But I understand you need to scare some people straight
[00:20:22] FAWN: So how can we learn friendship? Well, you listen to our podcast, . True, but, and it, it definitely needs to be a huge subject taught in school and not just taught one time, but start from preschool and keep going through college. It needs to be a huge curriculum. It needs to be a part of you. You need to get a master's, you need to get a master's degree in it.
[00:20:51] FAWN: It needs to be taught as much. Accounting needs to be taught in business school because if you're in business, you're there to provide service for someone. Most people don't even understand that you are there to provide a service. You're there to help someone.
[00:21:06] FAWN: How can you do that if you don't know proper relationships?
[00:21:10] MATT: Right. How do you do that if you can't connect to people? How do you do that? If, if, if you don't know yourself? On and on and on and
[00:21:17] MATT: on.
[00:21:17] FAWN: And look at all the people we've met who learn about us, Matt, who are like, what do you do? And we're like, well, this is what we do.
[00:21:24] FAWN: And then our passion project is the art of friendship. And you know, one of the things we do there is we have a podcast. And we all, we hear so many people say, I have enough friends. I don't need any friends. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, wow. What, so what kind of definition do they have of, of friends?
[00:21:46] FAWN: I wonder what is the definition?
[00:21:49] MATT: Well, I
think
[00:21:49] MATT: it's enough social contacts so that they don't feel like they're starving slash drowning, and that's it. It's not about friendship as a almost a self-care, luxury, et cetera, et cetera. Nourishment. Nourishment. It's just about not starving. Ugh.
[00:22:07] FAWN: So what is the meaning of friendship is my question to ask from now on what does it mean to be a friend?
[00:22:14] FAWN: What does it really mean? You don't have to answer that right now, but let's contemplate that. Let's explore it. Let's ask our other friends, what is the meaning of friendship. Let's come back to it. What do you think?
[00:22:26] MATT: Sounds good.
[00:22:28] FAWN: I did all the talking.
[00:22:29] MATT: You did do all the talking.
[00:22:32] MATT: Pay attention. Leave yourself open and there you
[00:22:35] MATT: go.
[00:22:36] FAWN: Be brave. Ugh. We went to our recital yesterday. It was the first recital in my life. . I mean, I, I, oh my goodness. I used to play the violin when I was in junior high. Mm-hmm. . And we had, was it called a recital? You know, like a,
it'll
[00:22:50] MATT: be like a spring concert or whatever,
[00:22:53] FAWN: you know? Well, you have the kids go and play.
[00:22:55] MATT: Yeah. One at a time up there. That's
[00:22:57] FAWN: a, that's a proper recital. So I was, I did, I guess I, I did a couple when I was in junior high, cuz I was in band, like, or orchestra, not band, junior orchestra. Mm-hmm. , but as a parent, we went to our first one. Yes. Because Elle was singing. Yes. And if it wasn't for Elle, I'd be like, man, I won't, I don't wanna be here.
[00:23:24] FAWN: Because kids are kids, right? They don't own themselves. They don't own, they're. They're, they're very, uh, shaky. You know what I'm saying? It's like watching a baby animal that just was born mm-hmm. and all of a sudden they have to walk like how elephants are born. And then they start like wobbling around or like a baby deer, , you know, they're like shaky.
[00:23:50] FAWN: They're like, oh my gotta look at that. They're walking for the first time. Right. And, and so, I was like, oh man, this is boring. Ugh. It was not boring. It was boring for me. Well, I wasn't bored. I was also horrified by , by the kids, I think because I was having a bad day. That's how, that's how my whole mindset started was because of yesterday.
[00:24:13] FAWN: Mm-hmm. like, wow, our kids, like, they're ta they're sucking the life out of me. , I'm sorry, but it's true right now. Um, but I was like, wow. . It's hard being a parent. It is. It is legit. Like it's no joke. Nope. I was looking at the other parents, I'm like, how are you still alive? . , because you got three of those and the way they were behaving, I was like, oh my god.
[00:24:52] FAWN: And then we get home and I'm like, oh my God. in a different way. You were driving me nuts, you know, cuz I was like, well, at least our kids were, whatever, you know, I could handle our kids a little bit better. I don't think I could handle these other kids if I was their parent. Well, it's,
[00:25:09] MATT: it's different.
[00:25:10] FAWN: It just is.
[00:25:11] FAWN: But anyway, as far as like opening yourself up, I'm like, okay, I'm going to, in this room, in this little auditorium. Yes, I'm going to, even though I don't feel like it, I'm going to go up to a family and pretend this is my party. Or even if it's not my party, if you're at a party or like a gathering. Mm-hmm. , it is your responsibility to mingle and say something nice, like notice something nice, not just say something nice, but notice something wonderful about somebody else and out loud express it.
[00:25:48] FAWN: So I. Like, you know, have you seen those people who are jogging on the road and their body's like leaning back, like, I don't wanna run, I don't wanna run. And then their, their brain is like, come on, we gotta run . So like, is it just me? But like some people that run, I look at them and they're like leaning back, running, like, and they're like "I don't want to go" like, you're sitting in a car and you're like, oh,
[00:26:10] FAWN: But then their legs are like running Like against their will . Like, they're not into the running, like you can tell I felt like that. So I go up to this family, I'm like, hello? And their daughter was another singer. So I'm like, so I genuinely was like, wow, you made me cry. Your, your singing was wonderful. And then we talked to the parents for a little bit.
[00:26:36] FAWN: We talked to their daughter for a little. and then I introduced them to our kids. And you, I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna be bold. Here's our phone number and our address. I would love to get together with you all at some point, right? Have a beautiful every day. Talk to you later. Bye. So I did that, even though I did not feel like it, I was, I was in a bad mood again, , right?
[00:27:02] FAWN: But I, I did it right. I did it, yes. I just did. And that's you just, you just, it's like working out. It's a muscle. It's a muscle and sometimes you don't wanna do it. And sometimes it hurts when you go to a bar class, is that what they call it? That's what you knows what they call it. Ballet people that do the bar.
[00:27:22] FAWN: If you ever go to one of those, or even yoga, if you take a very simple yoga class, you can't walk legit walk the next day. I'm sorry. . You know what I'm saying? It feels like you're not doing anything, but it's like, ow. I use muscles I normally don't use. So sometimes it can be a little painful, uncomfortable, but you grow, you get stronger.
[00:27:50] FAWN: Yes, that's it. Okay. You have nothing to say. You know, sometimes I so nicely I speak and I speak. Yes. So that way you can collect yourself and you can impart some wisdom. Impart. I already imparted my wisdom. No you didn't. What'd you say? You say the same thing over or
[00:28:10] MATT: over. Cause I think it's so important.
[00:28:13] MATT: Pay attention. Keep yourself open. Come
[00:28:15] FAWN: on Matt. This is his. Drink your tea. Eat your rice. That exactly, . All right guys. Love you. I do. Love is winning even though,
[00:28:30] MATT: and I am delightful. .
[00:28:33] FAWN: All right, . So the question is, what is the meaning of friendship? Let us know if you have the answer. It's a conversation we're gonna continue on with.
[00:28:46] FAWN: All right, love you. Thank you for listening guys. I'm sorry my emotional outbursts today, . I'll talk to you later. . We'll talk to you soon in just a few days. Take care. Have a beautiful every day. Be well. Bye.
