Keep the Faith

Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.

TRANSCRIPT: Keep the Faith – episode 41

Fawn and Matt open this show with the admission that it’s hard to feel inspired to talk about a friendly world when the world sometimes appears anything but friendly. All countries and cultures have been experiencing so much hardship and with the rise in violence in the United States, Fawn finds it hard to keep a positive outlook. But they try, and they recall all the kindness they have experienced in their lives. They keep telling and recalling stories until they begin to feel more hope.

Nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica – The rollerblading knight in shining armor who told Fawn to stop crying and to have Faith.

Hall of Fame Quotes from this episode:

On feeling bad or having a bad day:

Matt: …everybody has those moments and those days. And I think it's so important during those days to take us back that we really take a look at and really hopefully try and remember those moments of kindness from the past and hold ourselves open to those moments of kindness coming to us in the future.

On being open to kindness:

Matt: “…it seems like I refused to make myself vulnerable to anything and anyone. And so nobody could really give me an act of kindness because I didn't even allow them the opportunity to even understand what that may look like, because I was so like guarded and angry.”

Matt:  “…it can be interesting the way an act of kindness can get magnified; Just the tiniest little thing.”

Matt:  “You never know where your kindness is going and you never know if your kindness will rebound on you, which is why you should be kind.”

Matt: “kindness is one of those things that grows. And sometimes you don't even know why things are going well, but we'd like to say like attracts, like, and what you focus on grows. So if you focus on kindness, if you focus on helping people, if you focus on, in those moments, hopefully, and we've experienced it in those moments where you need people to be kind, when you're in that situation, as I like to say, Battlestar Galactica, quote out there for you, sometimes you gotta roll the hard six.  When you're in those situations, if you have been kind in the past and you're drawing in kindness, then you know, hopefully you will receive it. Because you're focused on kind.”

Matt: “A smile and a nod makes you feel good.”

MixPre-238

[00:00:00] Fawn: [00:00:00] Hello, everyone. Welcome to our friendly worlds.

Matt: [00:00:04] Welcome. Welcome!.

Fawn: [00:00:05] Hello. Kindness comes from the old English word, kindness, meaning nation

Matt: [00:00:13] (Matt laughs) kindness comes from kindness.

Fawn: [00:00:15] I know don't you love the dictionaries, but this is the etymology of it. Let me start over. Kindness comes from the old English word kynd. This it's actually KYNDNES.

Yeah. K Y N D N E S. Meaning nation or produce increase. The word is further derived from the middle English word, kindness, meaning noble deeds or courtesy.

Matt: [00:00:46] I just have to laugh once again, coming from the word kindness,

Fawn: [00:00:49] noble deeds or a courtesy. Why do I keep. Beating up the mic lately. Okay. So at least the mic, Stan, why are we talking [00:01:00] about this again?

One it's really inspired by our friend Barry. Oh my goodness. The previous episodes. And Barry's been reaching out to me, especially since we live in the city we live in and we have had the tremendous violence mass shooting and just the way he's been reaching out to me. And he's the, the ambassador of kindness.

So why are we talking about it? Especially since before we got onto the mics, I was saying, you know what?  It's been weeks now. I haven't been feeling it guys. I'm not feeling terribly optimistic and terribly as a wrong word for it.

I've been feeling hopeful here and there, but for the most part, I just, I just want to cry. I just want to weep, I am constantly apologizing to our children for the state of the world. Right,

Matt: [00:01:52] right. And it seems like there's been a lot to apologize for, in addition, I think we're at our one year Mark, as far [00:02:00] as being sequestered.

Fawn: [00:02:01] It's been over a year now.

It's been over a year. And even before that, even before the pandemic, you know, we're especially sensitive to the injustices of the world, because I'm always looking at what's happening around the world, not just in the United States and because I do, so do our little girls, right. They're very aware of other countries, other leaders.

They know, pretty much most of Congress, Senate, like all the leaders there. What other little girls do you know that are like, totally like on it?

. I don't know, very many older boys and older girls like adults is what I'm talking about. Right.

Matt: [00:02:48] I guess.

Fawn: [00:02:49] And I'm apologizing to them because,  we are the hosts.  We brought them in. And I know there's a thought that definitely everyone chooses to come into [00:03:00] the time and the kind of life that they're in, you know, it's a chosen, but my God, I mean, I just look at their faces and look at their expressions when w I mean, every day, guys in the United States, every day, there's a mass shooting, and most of them do not get reported.

And.  Talking to folks like your parents, they are like, this is the best country in the world. We are the best. We're number one. And I was, I got to say, I was proud of our Elle, who immediately without skipping a beat; do you remember her sentence when your dad was like, yeah, well, why would you want to live anywhere else, because we have the greatest economy, the most stable economy, and without skipping a beat, our little girl says, well, okay, if you think we have the most stable economy, we sure do not have the most [00:04:00] stable people. Right. She said something like that.

Matt: [00:04:03] Yes, comparing economy to people. And, and frankly, I think, any country around the world can tout itself up as being the best in something.

This is where it gets tricky.

Fawn: [00:04:16] It's just, it's gotten to the absurd level of arrogance. Well, I can't take it anymore.

Matt: [00:04:23] Again, I think  it's the belief that "the way I choose to live is the best way" period. And I'm (Fawn says that's dangerous). I'm very careful. And I always talk about the Toa of Matt, or the way of Matt and, you know, those are the things I do that work for me, as opposed to  saying "everyone else needs to live exactly the way I live, because it's the only, it's the best..."

it's the et cetera, et cetera. I mean, (Fawn says that's dangerous).

You know,  we were at work and  just to be flip for a second, but we were talking at work and, , the question came up, ' what's the best movie?" Well, the best movie is "The Seven [00:05:00] Samurai" but , let's move past that. It's like, yeah, but what if you don't want to watch a four hour movie?

Fawn: [00:05:05] Akira Kurosawa

Matt: [00:05:08] with subtitle

Fawn: [00:05:09] right

Matt: [00:05:10] black and white.

Fawn: [00:05:10] Wasn't there a Tom cruise, seven samurai, ? Not

Matt: [00:05:13] That was  "Last Samurai", completely different.

Fawn: [00:05:15] Okay.

Matt: [00:05:16] Yes.  Completely different movie, but it's like, you know, your scale and by the way, feel free to disagree with me because obviously you can talk about "The Godfather part two". You can talk about that Rosebud or that Rosebud movie you can talk about... you can go on and on and on, but ultimately speaking, the best movie is the movie that is going to give me the most joy, most peace, most inspiration, most happiness, right at this moment.  And trying to determine what that is; wow. And you know what I'm going to say by and large for most people, most of the time, "Seven Samurai" ain't it.

Fawn: [00:05:55] Right. Well, I kept saying it's dangerous to have that thought [00:06:00] form; that thought; the way of thinking of "My way's the best way,", because that doesn't leave room for exploring other things in life and exploring other ideas and exploring other ways; like "this is it my way, that's it".

And I think that's why people grow old and dead is because you're not growing. You're not even allowing for any other possibility in life. And isn't that what makes you stiff and brittle as opposed to bending with the wind, like bamboo?

Matt: [00:06:34] True,

Fawn: [00:06:35] because life is always changing. And right now the world is totally changing, I hope for the better, right. And to stay so firm in your stance like that, when we're trying to say, Hey, let's fix this or let's talk about this. And you're not even going to, because in your mind, this is it. We're the best . It is ridiculous.  It's [00:07:00] causing harm on so many levels.

And it's also creating more divide because certainly we don't,  we can't have conversations like that every single time.  If you're not going to  bend with the wind and  listen to other ideas, what do we have here?

Matt: [00:07:17] Right. We have a brick wall, you know, honestly,

Fawn: [00:07:22] Well, okay.  This is why I've been feeling sad and honestly, creatively, I've just been feeling like why bother. And I've always said when people in society, when the society feels that way, that's kind of bad news right there because you're not creating and I am still creating, but I have to be honest, I don't feel, I don't know.

I don't know what, I can't even tell you what it is I'm feeling beside the sadness, I feel disappointment. And I feel like, are we ever going to get out of [00:08:00] this?

Matt: [00:08:00] Right. Right. And there are moments that are hard and  it's especially, I think hard inside of a culture, which, everybody is showing everybody how they're  living their best lives -woo hoo. And I really think we need to stop. And we even really need to take a serious hard look at those people who, perhaps we regard as our heroes and have an understanding that even these people that we feel lived a charmed life and dadadada da, they went through stuff too.

A lot of people have been through a lot of stuff and a lot of people continue to go through stuff. And a lot of people kind of live inside of stuff while representing things perhaps a little differently

Fawn: [00:08:39] are you're talking about, are you talking about like how Oh, sensei would get mad and he's definitely someone you would think, even though he's the head of the martial arts movement of the way of peace, the way of peace folks that, you know, he taught us.

He was the founder of, Aikido. But he would get pissed off and  had [00:09:00] tantrums.

Matt: [00:09:00] Everybody has moments. You know, my, my favorite author is Herman Hesse  that guy who wrote "Siddhartha", he wrote Nobel peace prize for literature in 1946. "Magister Ludi: The Glass Bead Game". He wrote "Steppenwolf", which of course is where the band took the name from because they didn't really understand the book, whole other story.

He wrote "Demian". Well, he also wrote a book of poetry  when he turned 50, because he saw turning 50 as this watershed moment where he should truly be, this is after he wrote "Siddhartha", blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, where he should now be in that place of continual bliss and continual peace.

And the poem begins. He wrote a whole, he wrote a slender volume of poems that got published. I don't necessarily think he wanted that to happen, but he did give copies to all of his friends at Christmas, but the poem begins.: "I was invited out that night. But Christ I wasn't feeling right. My head was filled with last night's dregs and surely the shooting pains in my legs boated [00:10:00] no good, no good at all." And it keeps going and he talks about going to the party and somebody's playing the piano, but they're playing it like shite. And then he leaves it early and he goes off looking for looking to get drunk basically. And that's this poem and people are like, but you're the guy who wrote Siddhartha because it's this great illuminating, like the life of the Buddha and how he becomes inspired. Everybody has their moments.

And here's another one. I remember reading a story. Oh my goodness. So Neil Armstrong that guy, and I think it was Neil Armstrong. It was certainly wasn't astronaut was going up the steps to some building and somebody came out of the crowd, got up all in his face and screamed at him:  the moon landings never happened. You're so full of, blah, blah, blah. Neil Armstrong, basically a Superman because that's the astronauts. Those are the astronauts. Certainly of that era hit him in the face. He was like 60. Hit him in the [00:11:00] face, knocked him down. Stuff happens. You know, everybody has those moments

Fawn: [00:11:05] and we're not condoning violence here. Let's get that straight. We're not, We're not,  (Matt says "absolutely not!")

Matt: [00:11:10] I'm just showing how this figure political figure; he was a Senator at one point, he can get wound up and that's what happens. And, you know, everybody has those moments in those days. And I think it's so important during those days to take us back that we really take a look at and really hopefully try and remember those moments of kindness from the past and hold ourselves open to those moments of kindness coming to us in the future.

Fawn: [00:11:40] So we were struggling with a show for today and I'm like:  I just don't feel it. I'm sorry.  Maybe we shouldn't and then, of course I have the promise of no matter what ,we're going to be here for you, no matter what, we're going to continue. So here I am, I'm going to continue, even though I feel the way I do today [00:12:00] and the past weeks.

 So I guess what we're going to do is focus on the stories of kindness that we've had examples of . And hopefully we'll remember enough to get out of this funk. And  I'll start with Santa Monica. A nugget of wisdom from Santa Monica: I remember being on the boardwalk. So the boardwalk is this concrete, like loopy, concrete, it's not a sidewalk, but it's a place you can roller blade, like pretty much on the sand, but it's on concrete. You can roller blade, walk, ride your bike. And at a certain point, it goes under the Santa Monica bridge. Right. It's a little skanky in there too. Exactly. So I think I was there. I don't remember exactly where I was, but I was leaning on something and I was on the boardwalk and I was crying [00:13:00] again, kind of like how I'm feeling now.

 I was just like, man, what, what the, what the heck, man, I was not feeling terribly inspired. I was crying and this guy showed up. And all the years that I was in Santa Monica, I saw this guy maybe three times. Okay. All right. That I know of. All right. So here I am. I'm totally crying. By myself and out of the blue, it wasn't terribly crowded. It was probably the middle of the week. The middle of the day out of the blue comes this guy on roller blades, dressed in armor, a Knight in shining armor, head to toe. Yes. Head to toe like

Matt: [00:13:47] That must hurt, if he falls.

Fawn: [00:13:49] It wasn't one of those medieval ones that you see,  hanging out with a sword.

 He had a flexibility. Do you know what I mean?

Matt: [00:13:56] Right.

Fawn: [00:13:56] He wasn't completely covered in armor. [00:14:00] That would be horrible because it's hot, but, and he's rollerblading. Right? So here it comes a Knight in shining armor, whizzing past me, making eye contact with me. And he started yelling at me like something like  stop crying.

And he told me to have faith. And then he whizzed. By that was it. That is the nugget of wisdom for today is to have faith. Let's start with some stories I can start. Should I start, should I go me one, you one or me two you two and

Matt: [00:14:37] let's see where we go.

Fawn: [00:14:38] Okay. So it's funny because I'm sure there are probably millions of acts of kindness that  were given to me.

One that sticks out has to do with pastries. When I was little, when I was like six years old for quite a while, my family and I had to live in [00:15:00] a motel.  And it was a hard time for sure. I was six years old and we were just trying to figure things out. We were new to this country and we didn't know anyone.

Things were hard.  It was hard. It was lonely. And one day, um, this motel room was pretty cool.  And it had a kitchen and the kitchen had a separate door to it. And one day we, I guess my mother opened the door to the kitchen area and she's like, what is this? And then there was like this commotion in our family, like a happy one, like, what is this?

Who will do this? Why is this here? Is it safe? And what is it and why who did this? And guys, it was a pastry box. And it was from what, after this, we realized it was, um, from the neighborhood there was within that neighborhood close by. There [00:16:00] was  a French pastry shop. And I think that's where it came from.

And so we had never seen a pastry like this before. So we were, you know, we were new to that area and we certainly didn't know about certain pastries in the United States, especially like Persian, not person, I'm sorry, but Parisian Parisian pastries in the United States. So it was, the box was opened and it was the most beautiful, very large, it's not a cake, I don't know what it's called, but it's one of my favorite pastries. It has  puff pastry on the bottom and it has the cream and then like a jello jelly on top with rows of different colored fruit. Do you know which one I'm talking about? I think it's a French pastry and it's very shiny and very colorful and delicious, and [00:17:00] we never figured it out, or I never did.

I don't know if anyone in the family ever did. We'd never figured out who left that there. Like, I think there was a knock and then they ran away and then there was that beautiful box. And, you know, nowadays I w I, you know, I'd be scared. I'm like, is this poisoned? Like, what is this? Right. It brought such happiness to our little dreary world back then, but that was it.

I think that's probably, what's inspired me my whole life about pastries, that it just brings about such hope

Matt: [00:17:34] and such like change in attitudes so quickly, too,

Fawn: [00:17:37] so quickly. Like it just makes you forget. Right. And it just makes you realize, Hey, what a wonderful gift, a delicious, delicious in many ways than just tasting upon your tongue.

But the deliciousness of an act of kindness, an offering from someone. So that's why I think I've become so [00:18:00] obsessed with pastries. And that's why I started my own pastry company, you know, all of that. And my whole, my whole thing about the pretty pink box that no matter where you are in the world, whatever's happening, you could be the world leaders having major war. But if someone walks into that room, you're all in, as these leaders; someone walks in with that pink box, most of the time, everyone knows exactly what it is. It's a beautiful treat in there. Right. So that's one story I have. Do you want me to go on? I can go on

Matt: [00:18:39] please.

Fawn: [00:18:41] Um, let's see. Here's something that I do that I learned a long time ago.

 Every time I see, or hear an ambulance or a firetruck. And now police, I ask for angels to go help the people that need help. So they, they will be safe and [00:19:00] protected,

Matt: [00:19:00] right? Yeah. No, every time. Um, yeah, I see an ambulance or a paramedic truck for sure. I always say, God speed.

Fawn: [00:19:07] Yeah. I asked for specific angels, God, please immediately help help this person, whoever needs help.

Matt: [00:19:15] Absolutely.

Fawn: [00:19:17] Have I told you guys about the super shuttle guy?

Matt: [00:19:20] I don't think so.

Fawn: [00:19:21] When I was 18, right upon graduation, it was my time to finally escape the crazy family. And I had worked all throughout junior high and high school saved up enough cash to take myself to university to college and.

 My family was horrible about it too. Like I was totally on my own guys, completely on my own. And I packed the bags that I had of clothes and,  notebooks, whatever I needed, whatever I had gathered up for myself to survive [00:20:00] on my own. Right. And I flew to San Francisco and I was accepted into this really hard to get to art school.

It was also a very, very expensive and  I got accepted, which was a big deal. And I had to find a place to live. I had, I had to do everything on my own, like spur of the moment. Like I had to figure out okay, that night, where am I going to go? I knew I had a name and address of  a youth hostel type situation.

I didn't know where it was. I didn't know anything about it. I arrived at the San Francisco airport. I got my luggage and I couldn't for the life of me, get anyone to give me a ride. No super shuttles would stop for me because I had so many bags and I didn't re upon reflection, now, I really didn't have that many bags.

I don't know what the deal was. Right. It took me forever and  the sun was setting. I had been there for, I think, a [00:21:00] good hour waiting for a ride by myself, 18 years old. Right. Tiny right. And, um, I, I had lost hope. I was like, this is horrible. I don't know what to do. And I just sat there cause I was tired.

Right. I sat on one of the big pieces of luggage that I had and I think I started crying. And then all of a sudden, um, this, the super shuttle shows up.

Matt: [00:21:25] Bom bom bom!

Fawn: [00:21:27] At this point I was used to it because they would stop. They would look at me or ask me where I was going.  I would tell them, but they would, they would say, can't help you.

And then they would drive away. So I thought the same thing would've happened.

Matt: [00:21:41] Man!

Fawn: [00:21:42] And maybe they thought I was a runaway because I looked so young. Right. You know, I'm sorry. So emotional. So anyway, this guy asked me where I was going and I told him. I thought he would  just drive away. But he didn't, he came out.

He was like, well, let me help you come [00:22:00] here. You know, like he took the luggage and so he asked for my story, and I told him, sorry. (Fawn begins to cry)

Matt: [00:22:09] Oh dear. We're getting emotional on this one folks.

Fawn: [00:22:11] So he said, okay, I'll drive you there. But since you're new here, I want you to learn what San Francisco is all about. So I'll give you a tour. So he, he drove around San Francisco and showed me all the pretty spots. But most importantly, he showed me where not to go.

Matt: [00:22:36] Gotcha.

Fawn: [00:22:36] So he said, I don't want you to go to this neighborhood right here. This is what it's called and don't go here. And this is the Tenderloin and you know, definitely don't walk here by yourself after a certain time.

And this was a long time ago. So I don't know if the Tenderloin is still that way. It's probably a hip happening,

Matt: [00:22:58] everything cycles. Right.

[00:23:00] Fawn: [00:23:01] But not only did he do this for me, but when we got to that youth hostel, he asked me to wait. He went in and asked for the manager. He asked for the manager to come out and they were talking for quite a while.

And what I found out later was he told the manager, you better look out for this girl. I want you to take good care of her, you hear me? And he just totally set me up.

Matt: [00:23:28] Nice.

Fawn: [00:23:30] You should go. Cause I've started to cry. I have other stories though,

Matt: [00:23:33] but now all of a sudden, now my story sounds so pithy, but we'll still go for it.

When I was 16, I was hanging out with my mates. This would be Vince and  Dave. We were the three Musketeers life was simple. Life was good. Went to an Iron Maiden concert. Oh, love the Iron Maiden. Before I went, I was talking with one of my friends from high school and he mentioned, if you follow the one of the tour buses, it'll take you to a great party.

So we were like, [00:24:00] Oh, so we did like, we were, we were ended up driving probably about 90 miles at absurd speeds because tour buses don't know how to go slow anyways. All of a sudden the bus stopped. And this is after we ran red lights and all sorts of fun things to keep up with this bus, the bus stopped and the door opened and a figure walked out.

I couldn't see really what was going on. Cause I was driving and went inside of this building. It was a, it was like a condos in Hollywood. And my buddy Vince, I think was riding shotgun. And he's like, Oh my God. I was like, what? That was Steve Harris? Oh, Steve Harris bass player Iron Maiden my favorite member at that point of Iron Maiden.

Probably my favorite member of Iron Maiden. Now I don't even think I put the car in park. I [00:25:00] took the keys out of the ignition. We were parked. We were in the middle of this, left the lights on open after

Fawn: [00:25:05] You left the car in the middle of the street? What?!!

Matt: [00:25:07] Yes, I did..

This is what 16 is. And plus like we're talking like in, in Matt's, Pantheon of cool and Matt's Pantheon of heroes at that moment in time, he was at the tippy top.

There wasn't, there was nobody else there. And this had nothing to do with me, actually seeing him on the street or anything. I mean, this has to do this is how I felt. I mean, phenomenal, just all around performer. Now this was before I learned how to gauge people on all levels, et cetera, et cetera. So there is a certain Naivete to it, and anyways, and I ran for that front door, punched it open, like he was walking towards an elevator and I said, I yelled Steve.

And he turned [00:26:00] around, looked me right in the face and smiled. Oh, he was tired. It was past midnight. He had performed a show. He stopped for a minute. He talked to me and I couldn't say three words to him. Intelligibly. I'm not kidding. Signed autographs. I got one for, I think, I think Dave, I think no Vince was being responsible.

Vince stayed in the car. Dave actually ran behind me. So Dave and I met him.

Fawn: [00:26:31] Oh, poor Vince.

Matt: [00:26:32] Signed autographs for us. Oh my goodness.

Fawn: [00:26:36] Did he sign one for Vince?

Matt: [00:26:38] I had him sign one for Vince. Yes, but Oh my goodness. Cause he could have just run for the elevator. He could adjust.

Fawn: [00:26:45] Do you still have it?

Matt: [00:26:46] Of course I do please. Of course I don't even, that's not even a valid question to even ask. I had asked for scraps of paper and a pen so we could write it for us. I mean, and I was just sitting there going, but, but, [00:27:00] but you're Steve Harris, but, but, and that was all that was going through my head. You know? Oh my God. Yeah. So anyways, that was, you know, that was a moment of that.

He, you know, that's a moment where somebody can choose to be kind or choose to not be kind and, you know, he chose to be kind.

Okay.

And that's a lot of  it because I think we all have these inflection points in these moments. Um, I'll bring up another one. Uh, perhaps not making me look so good. Um, my senior year in high school, , I was smart, , going to college, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But I was being smart and you had to have two years of sciences to, to apply to a UC schools. At that point, I went to UC Santa Cruz, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I was being super smart about it. And everybody I knew who took chemistry, ended up with a C or an F. And so I was like, I ain't doing that. [00:28:00] I took biology.

Did fairly well, and it got BS. Um, and then I was like, I'm not taking chemistry because everybody fails it. Cause it's super hard. I'll take physics. Instead. Physics had a math requirement, but I had covered that. So that puts me in Mr. Phil Elliot's class. Unfortunately I was a senior. It was my last class of the day and my buddy Vince and I would constantly cut because his last class, the day, the teacher didn't

Fawn: [00:28:31] you have to explain what cut means to other countries that are listening to us.

Matt: [00:28:35] Sorry. Uh, to say you're cutting school or cutting class means you don't go. So you go off and have adventures and have fun instead of sitting in a classroom. Now, this is wonderful for your socialization. This is wonderful for,  for your suntan. This is wonderful for, your fun level, what, it's not wonderful for are your grades.

So anyways, so by the [00:29:00] end of, and this was, I had it's called senior-itis, so I was a senior in high school. So I was kind of done being in traditional school.

Fawn: [00:29:08] It's your last year and that kind of prison

Matt: [00:29:11] of stuff in that, we're going to make you take these courses and you don't have any choices.

And you're in school all day, every day, Monday through Friday. And  it's a cakewalk, frankly, but it seems like this insurmountable mountain when you're,  when you don't know any differently,

Fawn: [00:29:27] well, it's a cakewalk for students like you, for me, it was excruciating. It was awful.

Matt: [00:29:33] Well, I'm saying in hindsight it was a cakewalk because we believed it was just.

Torture, you know? Cause we don't, we,  you don't know, we don't have that context,

Fawn: [00:29:41] But  you are a very good student. You always happen. I can read it again. And so for you, it was a cakewalk for me. It was down to the minute if I was graduating or not.

Matt: [00:29:50] Well, hence my stories,hence  my story.

Fawn: [00:29:53] Okay. Sorry.

Matt: [00:29:54] So anyways, it was so bad. He made frozen yogurt for one of the school clubs. It was [00:30:00] probably a physics lab. I don't remember. And he would sell it during lunch and I had his class right after lunch. And then that was my last class of the day. And some days I would go around, I would see him, I would talk to him during lunch and then I just wouldn't be in his class.

I mean, that's how bad I was. That's how bad we were. So anyways, so, um, I was failing his class.

Fawn: [00:30:23] Oh my God, you were?

Matt: [00:30:24] I was because I wasn't there enough, frankly.

Fawn: [00:30:27] Right.

 Matt: [00:30:27] Phil grace of God. Gave me a C.

Fawn: [00:30:30] Wow.

Matt: [00:30:32] So without that, "C", I don't know what would have happened to my entire future.

Fawn: [00:30:37] Wow.

Matt: [00:30:39] I have no idea,  and I have a couple of moments where it's like, what were you thinking? and that would be one of them. And that has to do with kindness.

Fawn: [00:30:49] He probably saw the inner turmoil that you

had.

Matt: [00:30:52] God knows. I did.

Yeah.

I was the only long hair in every single one of my classes.

Fawn: [00:30:58] I had a teacher like that too. She gave me a [00:31:00] D where I was definitely failing upon graduation. I had never told her anything, but she knew. Right.

Matt: [00:31:06] So, yeah. So that was a, an act of kindness ;from both from high school, which is weird because when I was going through and really thinking about moments of kindness that I really had had, they're either really teeny, tiny, small, or they happen well after high school, it seems like  I refused to make myself vulnerable to anything and anyone. And so nobody could really give me an act of kindness because I didn't even allow them the opportunity to even understand what that may look like, because I was so like guarded and angry my entire kind of, career.

Fawn: [00:31:40] Well, in situations like that,

 You're raw and you're exposed. So when you're going through stuff, it's easier to just be guarded and keep going about life, all calloused up,

Matt: [00:31:53] right. Or cynical

Fawn: [00:31:54] so that you don't have to feel all those raw emotions .

Matt: [00:31:59] Right

[00:32:00] Fawn: [00:32:00] if you keep  guarded, you're more desensitized to it.

It's like having a big scab. If you run your fingers on it, you don't really feel it. You don't feel your skin underneath. It's survival mechanism

Matt: [00:32:11] very much. Yeah, no, no, no, no, absolutely. And every time I think about it and I don't choose to think about it very often, cause I, I do not, I do not feel I come off particularly well in my story, but Oh my God, that was so very, very kind of him because God knows just the entire trajectory of my life would have been different.

Yeah.

Fawn: [00:32:32] Well, I know you, so I, you do come across well to me because I know your story. I know the battles that you had to fight back then. And   you're just a sweet kid, you know, he, and he saw that, Oh,

Matt: [00:32:47] I like to think so.

Fawn: [00:32:49] You may have looked like very tough and everything .

Matt: [00:32:52] Oh my goodness, I thought I was the toughest thing ever.

Fawn: [00:32:54] No, I mean, pictures of you, I obviously didn't know you back then, but pictures of you looked like crazy [00:33:00] tough.

Matt: [00:33:01] Well, that was the aesthetic.

Yeah, but not very many people actually carried it off like that. Like w yeah, you didn't want to mess with you, like nobody, but, um, but yeah, it's hard to it's you can definitely, it's hard to suddenly release the gates and be exposed emotionally.

Right? Absolutely. And, and honestly, I think that's one of the few stories I could tell about somebody being kind to me that I hadn't made myself vulnerable, which is what made things so interesting.

Fawn: [00:33:34] Yeah. We talk about  going about your day and when someone shows you any kind of kindness and it could be the smallest thing that makes you suddenly break down and cry.

Matt: [00:33:42] Right?

Fawn: [00:33:43] Okay, so there are so many stories. I remember if it's my turn to talk, it is people have done, I really don't want to talk about hospitals cause it's, we've had so much trauma there. But we did have angels that took care of us when Elle was [00:34:00] born.

Matt: [00:34:00] Yeah, absolutely.

Fawn: [00:34:01] There was one particular nurse who saw what was happening, who saw the injustices left, and right that were happening to us. And I remember her  protesting to the powers that be the ,hospital saying, if you don't take care of this family, I'm going to take them to my house.

Matt: [00:34:21] Right. Right. Now we were in the hospital when Elle was born for two, two weeks, two of the

longest weeks of my life. Um, we were, we weren't in the NICU knock on wood, but we were one step removed.

Fawn: [00:34:34] And that was only because the NICU was overcrowded. That was the only reason they brought in the spiritual people they bring in when someone's about to pass, like all that was happening. Like it was, it was horrible and it lasted every day for two weeks, it was awful. And, and we were both kind of at that situation. [00:35:00] And for me, it was an emergency C-section that like split open and the doctors still didn't want to  help us out.

And you had to like, say she is infected it, split open look, and they wouldn't give us the time of day. It was ridiculous. And not only that, then they were trying to discharge me saying, okay, it's time for you to go. I'm like I, and I had an open wound from a C-section like split open. Right. And so for two weeks, I had to sit in a chair next to the, whatever the NICU stuff that they had with Elle, in a chair, I had to sit up.

It was, it was awful. But  there were two nurses, three nurses actually that totally helped us out. But one in particular. Oh my God. I'm just going to be crying all episode. Let me just, uh,

Matt: [00:35:54] that was, you're talking about nurse Sophie,

Fawn: [00:35:56] right? Yeah. Sophie, which was strange [00:36:00] because we that's what we were thinking of naming Elle before Elle was conceived.

Right. We thought we were going to have a daughter named Sophie, Sophia, Sophia.

 Another thing of kindness. I've talked about this before, buthow in other  other countries, people are, people seem to really pay attention. In this country, we ignore people that are upset. We ignore people who are crying for the most part.

Most people do, but I was in England at a tea shop and I was crying by myself. And of course being American, I didn't think anyone would think anything of it that I was crying. And it wasn't like I was loud or anything. Just quiet tears, just rolling down my face.

I was sitting down and all these women, older women were surrounding me like a band of angels. Right. So  concerned over my tears, like, why are you crying? [00:37:00] They just want it to help. It was so sweet act of kindness.

These are all small, but like that touched me forever.

, When I was on one of my big photo shoots, I was headed from LA to Newark.  I didn't know what Newark was. I thought Newark was actually New York. I didn't know that. I didn't know. I didn't know that I was actually in New Jersey. I arrived there past midnight to a very crowded airport.

And then all of a sudden, within minutes, everyone disappeared. And I was the only one left there with a 90 pound backpack. on me right. It's hard to talk because I've been crying. So I'm standing there . All you could see from behind was  a tiny portion of my legs. That's it. Because my backpack was so huge. It was  filled with photography equipment and some power bars and some [00:38:00] clothes. That's that's about it. A sleeping bag on top and a tent. Anyway,  there was no one at this airport. I didn't know what to do. And I thought, Oh my God, where am I? Like, I thought this was New York.

Like, what happened?!.

Matt: [00:38:15] Like you'll just go through the, go through the Gates and, or, you know, step outside. And it's like, Oh, there's the Empire State Building...

Fawn: [00:38:21] Well, I just, no, no, no, no. It wasn't that, because I had been to New York before, but I was looking for the airport, like where the shops man? Like there was nothing around my goodness.

Nothing, no nothing. And it was, it was past midnight. And now I'm the only one there. It was really very strange and I didn't know what to do. And I thought, Oh my God, I guess I'll have to sleep here until my next  flight.

Well, you had your sleeping bag and you had a tent, so you're in good shape.

No!

Can't do that? Get arrested! But I just thought, okay. I'll just  lean on this chair against the wall and  wait for the [00:39:00] morning to come. But the thing is what I had, like an over a 24 hour layover. Until my flight for Ethiopia.

Matt: [00:39:08] So you knew something, you were going to have to do something there, but you thought, well,

Fawn: [00:39:13] I thought I would get out of the airport and find a hotel somewhere, but there was nobody around.

Fair enough. Not even a car. No taxis, nothing. So here I am. I'm just like, dootdoodootdo.And then I hear laughter. Did I tell you guys this story already? I feel bad if I did. Um, so I hear laughter. I turned around and it's a cop; a police officer.

Matt: [00:39:37] Oh dear.

Fawn: [00:39:39] And at first I was scared. I was like, Oh man,

Matt: [00:39:42] every time I see a cop, I get scared.

Fawn: [00:39:44] Oh my God, totally scared. And he was laughing. So I'm like, Oh God. And I'm by myself. Great... with a cop. And so. I think I asked him why he was laughing. He said, you look like a [00:40:00] turtle from behind because I had this huge shell of like, equipment. Right. And all you saw were my feet. And so he said, what are you doing?

And I said, uh, whatever, I don't know. I thought this was New York. And then he started laughing even harder. And he said, where are you going? I said, Ethiopia like that. He said, why?

Matt: [00:40:26] The hilarity is just like, he just wants to keep asking you random questions because you're just going to make him laugh.

Fawn: [00:40:31] So I told him why.

I said, I'm a photographer, I'm doing a project of my own. And I going to be documenting, photographing these nine tribes in Ethiopia. And he's like, that's amazing. He's like, Make sure you don't forget about me  when you're famous. I'm like, Oh God, you know, I wish please like the industry, like, cause I told them how the industry works and whatever I'm like, it doesn't mean I'm [00:41:00] gonna  be famous, but this is my life's work. This is what I love. And so we were talking, he's like, well, what's your plan for tonight? I'm like, well, I want to find a hotel room somewhere like a cab. And he started laughing harder and he said, well, how much do you want to spend for the hotel room? I'm like 20 bucks. I don't know. Like, is there like a hundred bucks?

Ideally like at the very top. And he started laughing hysterically at this point. He's like, good luck.

Matt: [00:41:29] Dang.

Fawn: [00:41:30] And I think he walked away

Matt: [00:41:33] out. So wait, wait, well, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is supposed to be a story of kindness, right?

Fawn: [00:41:38] So he walked away. And he comes back, he's like, look, I, I was just talking with my buddies, I guess other police people.

And there was some woman he talked to that, I don't know if it was his superior,  but I guess she told him you'd better do her right. So he's like, okay. So he comes back to me [00:42:00] and he gives me a key. And he, he said, look, I have the police officer. This is my, this is what I protect is this area of the airport, and  my work offers me a hotel room for me to sleep at, at the end of my shift. But I'm giving it to you. I want you to have it.

Matt: [00:42:21] oh...,

Fawn: [00:42:22] and so he hooked me up with a bus, like a shuttle somehow. He  asked them to come that way.

Matt: [00:42:30] And when a cop asks you...

Fawn: [00:42:31] He totally set it up. Yeah.

Matt: [00:42:32] Gotcha.

Fawn: [00:42:33] And the bus drove me to this really nice hotel.

I don't know where it was. I don't remember, but I was scared. I'm like, is this a trap? Like, what is this? I didn't trust anyone. I ended up at the hotel room, which was really nice. And it was definitely his, that he'd been there earlier that day because the bed was like a little askew. Like it wasn't perfectly made.

And I was like, is this like, [00:43:00] I was just super paranoid. So I put, I remember putting the chair under the door knob, like how they do so you can't get in. Right. And, uh, And he's and I'm like, how can I repay you? And he's like, you don't just repay me by doing really well with your photography career; that's payment for me. And I'm going to look out for you out there. And that was it. Like, that was pretty extraordinary. I don't know where he slept. I guess he had to drive all the way home. And his home was really far away. That's why he had the hotel room, but right. How amazing is that?

Matt: [00:43:38] Isn't it, you know, it strikes me that every, it feels like every single act that we're talking about of kindness, that meant so much to us really didn't cost that person a ton.

You know what I mean?

Fawn: [00:43:52] Yeah.

Matt: [00:43:52] By way of comparison. So it can be interesting the way an act of kindness can get magnified.  [00:44:00] Just the tiniest little thing.

Fawn: [00:44:01] Yeah.  For me when I was little,  that same time period where the pastry box up, we went to this grocery store frequently, this one and this cashier that was the cashier who always saw us through.

She would give me the most amazing lollipops every time. And like, you know, you, you learn a lot about the families that come through; the dynamics and  the stress that they're going through. Right. And my parents never, ever talked to her. My mom never talked to her aside from like getting changed back and stuff.

But this woman always gave me this amazing, lollipop and to this day I can taste it. It wasn't the lollipops that we give our girls. It was like this creamy and lollipop. It was creamy and it had strawberry swirls in it.

Matt: [00:44:54] Wow. Was it big?

Fawn: [00:44:56] Yeah, it was pretty big not big, big, but like a normal [00:45:00] pop lollipop, just a little bit bigger, but every time and every time she looked at me, like she really saw me. Every time! She was present with me and I didn't feel ignored, you know, as, especially as an immigrant, she liked, totally was present for me.

Matt: [00:45:20] Right.

Fawn: [00:45:20] And I'm crying all over again.

Matt: [00:45:22] And there you go. And that's what happenes. And I have to say for those of you who don't know, um, so I had long hair when I was a teenager and all the way up until I was, I don't know, not a teenager anymore, then I didn't have any hair. And now I have long hair again. And I have to say there is a total recognition of long hair to long hair and age has nothing to do with it.

If you see a guy walking down and he's rocking some hair, you know, you, you give him a nod just like, [00:46:00] and he gives you a nod and that's just what it is. And that's how, I guess it's always been, the nods have certainly changed. It used to be just your head straight up, at least in the places that I've been.

And nowadays it's almost like about your head goes down and then up, which is interesting. And it's just like, I see you, you're here. And I recognize you. And you know, is that an act of kindness?

Fawn: [00:46:25] It is.

And I know that nod I've had that nod. I remember being in LA like in the depths of LA and definitely the time of LA, where there was a lot of gang activity.

 I was in traffic and I was with a person that was really not good for me and whatever I was in the car. And from far away through Wilshire Boulevard, with all the traffic across the street at [00:47:00] a shopping mall, you know, those outdoor malls that they have, like, there's like a parking structure. There's like a four story complex, right. Kind of like an outdoor kind of mall. So from far away, this guy was like all the way across the street, all the way through the parking lot in front of a store. So it's far away, right. We locked eyes from that far away and he looked like a gangster, but he locked eyes with me and he gave me the nod and it felt... it felt protective. It felt like "I got you." I don't know if it was an angel. I don't, I don't know, but it was definitely another hardship moment for me at that time. But that nod from him, I still remember to this [00:48:00] day and I feel like I was looked after. Right. And especially because I saw him like to be, he looked like a total gangster that he was tough.

And I don't know, I just felt safe all of a sudden. You never know.

Matt: [00:48:16] And that's just, it, you never know where your kindness is going and you never know if your kindness will rebound on you, which is why you should be kind.

Here's here's another one. So. In my, I guess, thirties,  which is when I really started to embrace Aikido. I started to embrace really being a mensch. I mean, frankly, I mean,  I think I let down a lot of people up until then, and it's important that we recognize that so we can move forward. So I worked at a job and there was a guy at my job, uh, and I was senior developer, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was a lead on a project, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Doesn't matter. And you knew me at this point.  His name was [00:49:00] Cari Washington. Cari was literally the sweetest guy; super nice, super friendly, super personable, just super awesome.

Cari and I,  we were all right. We were totally cool with each other. You know, I never, I never looked at him cross-eyed never nothing. After I left that job, went to another one. Then I went to another one. I went to another one. Then I went to UCLA on a contract and I was emailing Cari one day. And guess what? As it turns out, um, of course working in a university, they monitor everything you do. They were monitoring my email. And, and maybe, maybe it was just a case of the, one of the, one of the guys who manages all the hardware, walked by my desk and saw that.

And he was like, Cari Washington. And then he described him and I was like, yeah, that's Cari,yeah. He's like, how do you know him? [00:50:00] He was like, so protective. And I was like, Car's a great guy. Cari's, Car's  my friend. We worked together. And all of a sudden for the rest of the time I was on that contract, his opinion of me was so elevated because I don't know, people have preconceived notions.

I came in as a consultant. People assume that consultants must be a holier than thou or who knows. And I'm very, I like to think I'm down to earth, but everybody does.  But that's an occasion where me being kind to random person reflected right back to me because all of a sudden, now I got nothing but slack from this guy.

We were totally good with each other. Whereas before he was looking at me, cross-eyed the whole time.

So, I mean, kindness is one of those things that grows. And sometimes you don't even know why things are going well, but we'd like to say like attracts, like, and what you focus on grows. So if you focus on kindness, if you focus on [00:51:00] helping people, if you focus on, in those moments, hopefully, and we've experienced it in those moments where you need people to be kind, when you're in that situation, as I like to say, Battlestar Galactica, quote out there for you, sometimes you gotta roll the hard six.  When you're in those situations, if you have been kind in the past and you're drawing in kindness, then you know, hopefully you will receive it. Because you're focused on kind.

Fawn: [00:51:32] But then what if it becomes like an obligation? Like you feel like you have to do it and in that case, I don't think it works as well. You just have to kind of let it go. Just have your heart take the lead

Matt: [00:51:45] and you're right. I mean, I have to say

Fawn: [00:51:47] like, you have to, without realizing why you're doing something, if you're really drawn to do it, just do it without thinking, well, why am I doing it? Don't become so calculated about it.

Matt: [00:51:58] Well, yeah, no, no, no. And trust me, I'm [00:52:00] not calculated.

Fawn: [00:52:00] I'm not saying you are. I'm just

saying in general.

Matt: [00:52:02] There's so many kinds of core beliefs that help me be kind. Um, you know, there's and I, you don't want me to say this, but, you know, there's, there's I find literally everybody fascinating. I think it's impossible for a person to lead a life that is a hundred percent boring.  There are those moments or those experiences that people have had that,  when you hear about it, it brings more understanding of that person, and sometimes more understanding of you ,when you hear the stories,  when you connect with them on that level.

Fawn: [00:52:40] You know, all this sounds fine and well, honey, and I'm thinking, okay, I'm starting to feel better. Just recalling all these Kind ways. But then I started to think of images. I saw the past week again. I'm like, well, that's fine for us because we're peaceful people [00:53:00] for the most part. I mean, I've definitely had times where I was not the kindest person, but, but I mean, I'm just looking at the crazy stuff that is happening out there.

And the people that inflict such harm. Right. I just don't understand. Well, I do understand it, but what do we do? Because that's still there and I'm just feeling bad all over again.

Matt: [00:53:21] And that's the hard part. Yeah.

Fawn: [00:53:23] Like I saw something horrible. I see something horrible every day. Like I saw this cop training one of those dogs,

Matt: [00:53:32] the K9 unit dogs?

Fawn: [00:53:34] Yeah. They're like German shepherds. Usually. Yes. I saw on TV, this guy, this cop trading one, he totally choked this dog after the dog was just like, trying to help and trying to be obedient. And it was terrifying and he got in trouble and it, you know, but why would he do that? Like [00:54:00] the weird thing is that I know what he.

There's something in me that could, the empathy that I have is so strong that I could totally feel why a person does that. Like,  I can transfer myself for a split second, and I know where that came from. Right.  Watched that on TV and it really messed me up because then I became that for a second and I understood why he did that.

Right. There's no reason for it, but I, I, I understood it as if I was in his body and it comes from how he was raised and how. He's known nothing but callousness.

Matt: [00:54:42] It is possible. Yes. And it is. And it's possible that he doesn't understand affection and attention without negativity.

Fawn: [00:54:49]

But another thing that I thought was, wow, look at this. He lost his job, immediatly  this cop, right? Uh, he got in trouble right away. Right. [00:55:00] Yet when you treat other human beings like that, you don't get to the same kind of trouble. And I'm not saying human beings are more important, than dogs, but I'm just saying, why is one treated differently?

Right. It's it's life. so I don't know, Matt, I'm just back to feeling bad again.

Matt: [00:55:18] The hardest thing I think for humanity is understanding the ways and how we can make changes in our lives, as opposed to, you know, frankly, I'm not in a position to, address all the wrongs of the world.

There are lots of wrongs in the world and unfortunately, a lot of these wrongs are going to continue, but if you take the approach of what's an issue, what's a problem, what's a situation that I can affect change and move forward and building strength from that because there's some huge [00:56:00] things that have been around for an awfully long time that need to change, absolutely, that I'm not in a position to, I can't affect any change about it.

Fawn: [00:56:10] I think we can though, like, even some of these horrendous people, if they could get a nod sometimes, so. Sorry, I can't talk, can't breathe. What I'm trying to say is, , for whatever reason, if you feel any doubt, just go ahead with that nod. I think the most vile people are the ones that need kindness, the most.

Matt: [00:56:41] Interesting that you mentioned that. Um, so our youngest has expressed an interest in learning something about psychology. So I was talking with one of our friends of our show actually, , KJ, KJ and I (shout out) and I asked her what's a good resource.

And so she told me  to  start at psychology [00:57:00] today. So I was like the magazine she's like, yeah. So I went there. And they were describing exactly this. And I just read that today. Yeah. How do you deal with somebody who's constantly mean .It's because it's the only, it's theirs, there's a feedback loop and  they're used to it's in the same way that, you know, if you're saying, if a kid is saying, listen to me, listen to me, pay attention to me.

At some point, they're going to hit their little brother. Right. You know, because they're not getting the attention, the affection that they crave. And unfortunately, and this is where it all gets super messed up. And this is just pop psychology. So take it for what it is.  But  people need connections.

Everybody needs connections. In college. I tried to live like a hermit and it didn't work. Just didn't work. You need people. That was a hard lesson to learn because you make yourself vulnerable on some level. But I guess it's about not making yourself vulnerable, still getting that attention by [00:58:00] saying I don't care or being,  a meanie, which is unfortunate, but we need to increase the peace.

But with that said,  if somebody is being a meanie in a completely terrible and irreverent and just illegal, unlawful, immoral way, I would have a very hard time giving them a nod saying, I see you. I think, yeah. If somebody is somebody, unfortunately has reached that point, then I have a hard time with that.

Fawn: [00:58:35] But I guess that's not us, or maybe we're not at that capacity, but someone else will be hopefully,

Matt: [00:58:42] hopefully yes.

Fawn: [00:58:43] So where do we go from here, honey?

Matt: [00:58:48] Where did we go from here? I think the small, random acts of kindness, directed to people who,  like case in point, I have a coworker and he's [00:59:00] been sequestered and not really, but really, I mean, certainly less than us, but more so than he ever has been he's lonely.

And every time I talk to him, we talk and we talk for a while and we talk about things that aren't work related. I mean, we will talk about stuff that's work-related because we have an excuse to talk, but he has such a hunger to talk and for somebody to be there and say, Hey, I see you. I hear you. You know, it's that compassion, you know, I'm not at this point in time,  I'm making a conscious decision, not to shoulder his burdens as my own, which you can do, but I wouldn't recommend, , but just being there for him, I know brings a light to his days.

Fawn: [00:59:47] I think if we treat our world as a village and we all take care of like five at a time or four at a time, [01:00:00] if everyone did that and we saw, so what left out and one of us took that person on, to give a nod to. Right. I think that would help.

Matt: [01:00:10] And you're absolutely right.  And the fun part is, is when you start to notice these nods coming back to you, because they do.

Same way it did for me, good stuff, kind of functions in a circle in the same way that Aikido teaches us, but also in the same way that bad things  can come around in a circle too. So choosing not to be aggressive, choosing peace, choosing to acknowledge, choosing, to share, choosing to just be kind.

I mean, how many times, and I've done this to people,  I'll be doing something random in computers, right. And I'll do something that I think is super cool. And I want to share it and you know what? It may be that the person I'm sharing it with doesn't even care. Thank you Fawn. Because it does [01:01:00] happen.

Like it's an algorithm and it does blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's so cool that this, this and this, you know, people don't understand, but a smile and a nod makes me feel good. And that's just it. A smile and a nod makes you feel good.

Fawn: [01:01:15] It's an acknowledgement that you exist. And when someone feels like they don't, that's when the tantrums come about.

Matt: [01:01:24] Right. And more importantly than just it's acknowledgement that you exist. It's like acknowledgement that you exist and you matter, even if for a split second,

Fawn: [01:01:35] and when you were saying everything you were just saying, I thought, you know, like what we need to carry on. I thought of the word grace, and I'm trying to figure out, like, you need to have grace about a situation.

Like you may not want to be kind, or you may not feel moved to have a kind of [01:02:00] nod. Or a hand placed upon someone's hand. Maybe you don't want to touch them for whatever reason, but if you could ask for grace to be shown or to come through that and just even asking for that in your own mind, then something will transpire and it's an honor or a credit. Like what does grace really mean?

Do you know?

Matt: [01:02:23] That's something you say before dinner

Fawn: [01:02:25] No, it has a profound meaning.,

Matt: [01:02:27] I know, I know. Try and lighten it up. There's the state of grace.

Fawn: [01:02:30] It's like, an unmerited mercy, Like a feeling of, , I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. I know what it feels like .Grace; something that will take over that is perfect; that is exactly what is needed that offers compassion and is done so in such a beautiful manner, like a dance, like movement that is graceful, it's, it's purely light and profound. We all need [01:03:00] to ask for that grace.

Matt: [01:03:03] Gotcha.

Fawn: [01:03:04] And move with that grace.

Is there anything else you want to leave off with today?

Matt: [01:03:11] I didn't get to all my subjects. So I'm just going to tease them. How's that?

Fawn: [01:03:15] What do you mean?

Matt: [01:03:15] Like you want it to say random acts of kindness that I've experienced and I'm just going to tease every single one.  I'm not even going to describe what it is. It's just going to be two or three words.

Fawn: [01:03:24] What? No more fun that way. Okay. Well, let me see,

Matt: [01:03:28] um, soccer team when I was an elementary school,

Fawn: [01:03:31] what happened?

Matt: [01:03:33] I don't know,

Fawn: [01:03:33] but that doesn't mean anything to anyone listening doesn't mean. Did he think to me

Matt: [01:03:37] I had an experience with a homeless man very close to my birthday, that was, , a random act of kindness shifted.

Fawn: [01:03:44] You gotta tell us.

Matt: [01:03:44] Nope.

Fawn: [01:03:45] Matt, come on.

No, we need to hear it. It's more fun. The world is in a state.

We need to hear good stuff.

What happened?

Matt: [01:03:55] Okay. But then that's it. That's my last story. I've got a whole bunch of other ones. Come on.

Fawn: [01:03:59] Are you ever [01:04:00] going to go talk about that?

Matt: [01:04:01] It's possible, anyways. , and I may have already partially described this. I had just, and forgive me, my wife, but I had broken up with a serious girlfriend and I was feeling a little low.

And of course in hindsight, it was irrelevant and et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But I was feeling terrible and I was walking into a bookstore and I didn't want to talk to anybody. I was in that. I think I was even out on a Friday night at a place that was packed with lots of people, but I didn't  to talk to anybody and I wanted to stick strictly to myself and, and I was going to no bookstore because God knows what I wanted to buy a book.

Maybe, I don't know. Anyways, lots of people, lots of dating people around me. And I was just, and, um, and there was a homeless guy by the front door and he was like, Hey, Hey, Hey, how's it going? Hey, Hey, Hey, I know a trick. And it was the stupidest thing. I don't even remember a hundred percent what it was now.

My birthday was coming up the next week and he was like, Oh, I bet you, I can guess the date you were. Right. And I was like, really? Okay. What, you know? And I was like, Oh, and he [01:05:00] was like, And I don't remember what he said, but in my brain, cause there's a lot of noise around. I heard him say it's next Thursday or it's Thursday.

And he came up with this wonderful reason why every day of the week is actually Thursday or something. I don't remember, but it turns out my birthday was the next week on Thursday.

Wow.

Okay. And like my brain exploded a little bit and you know, just him, I mean, he was hustling me,  it felt like he was being so gentle  and he told me a bit about, and it was a bit, I knew about myself, so it doesn't count.

It's not like we, he directed my path, but for eternity. But the fact is, is I didn't want to connect to anybody. And he connected with me so completely and in such a playful way. And then I was like, Oh my God, how'd, you know, my birthday is next Thursday. And he kept saying, no, no, no, no, that's not what I meant.

That's what I want. And I wouldn't listen to him at that point. I wouldn't listen to his, his slick little trick. I was so enamored with the fact that [01:06:00] in my mind, he had guessed when my birthday was that I still don't know what he was trying to say to me, but it was, it made me laugh and laugh and laugh the next day and let them day after that.

And, you know, I I've actually marked that as a, an interesting point in time where it was just like, I felt like, you know, things shifted.

That's

nice.

Fawn: [01:06:24] Well, okay. To close off this show, it's really interesting to just actually go in and think about the acts of kindness that were presented in your life.

Because I guarantee it'll show up a theme, like for me, pastries. Right, right. And I'm like, Oh my God, this whole time I have been obsessed with pastries and not eating them necessarily, but making them and offering them to people. And now I realize it comes from when I was a little kid and how that random box of [01:07:00] pastries showed up.

Nice. So make yourself a list, guys, if you feel like it,

Matt: [01:07:06] Share some with us in the comments, please review us.

Fawn: [01:07:09] We'll see you in a few days. Thanks for listening everyone. Thank you. And sorry about my plugged up nose, stay kind. And it is a kind world. ,

it's hard to take

Matt: [01:07:23] It's hard in the face of the big unkindness.

Fawn: [01:07:26] Shift your focus so I guess that's what we're here to do today. And every day is to remind each other, Hey, shift your focus,

Matt: [01:07:35] what you focus on grows like attracts light.

And it's not saying that we're ignoring the bad stuff or that we're not going to take care of the bad stuff, but we need to feel better and we need to focus on good.

So there's inspiration to do good. And there is inspiration to create beautiful change in the world.  Talk to you in a few days, guys, go [01:08:00] to our friendly world.com to leave us messages, and we love you. Thank you for listening. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Bye.