Episode Transcript
FAWN: [00:00:00] When things get really chaotic or static or in a slump, you feel like, "Ugh, mm," maybe not so great, and the world feels askew. Like, your perception of life is feeling, I don't know. Like, you just don't know. It's very interesting when you're open to it, you can realize that around you is help, and it's, it's remarkable.
And I think it happens all the time for everyone. So this week, here is a friendly reminder thanks for tuning in. Here we go. Welcome back to our friendly world, everybody. Hi.
MATT: Hello.
FAWN: Hello. All right. So, some people are really, really difficult to deal with, and especially dealing with if you have to.
Like, you're feeling like there's... Not even just feeling. Like, you [00:01:00] feel like you wanna hide from people because you can't get away from them. It could be family. It could be a really ugly neighbor. It doesn't matter, because what's happening is your joy is deleted. Your sense of wonder is gone, and you are not living your life anymore the way it should be lived.
So this week, I was feeling a little bit like that, but I was keeping it to myself, because another thing I was thinking, and I don't know if this is right, but this is what I was thinking, is I'm gonna just keep my mouth shut. I'm not gonna say anything. So, I go to this friend's house, and I didn't say anything.
Didn't mention what I was going through, nothing. Put on a happy face, go to my friend's house, and I go there, and he was just sitting there at the table. He's, like, watching a video, [00:02:00] and I get there, and he's like, "Here, watch this." And there were these really awesome messages on there. I sat there for about 10 minutes watching.
And seriously, the messages were exactly what I needed to hear. H- how wild is that? You know? So that goes back to the friendly reminders. They're everywhere, and I always say it can come from a squirrel. It could come from a friend. It could come from anywhere, really.
It could come from watching a movie or a TV show, or it could come from, um I don't know. Where else could it come from, Matt? Did we say hi? Hi.
MATT: We did.
FAWN: Okay.
MATT: We did. I just haven't said, I haven't said anything yet. My goodness.
FAWN: Well, we went into this episode without you knowing what I was gonna say.
But let me just wrap up my f- my thought, and the thought, the message that I got was so perfect. How in the world does [00:03:00] that happen? Out of all things to say or out of all things to focus on, why that? So my friend didn't know what I was going through, especially that day, and that day I hit this, g- um, I don't know if you can call it, like, a, a, the f- like, climax.
Like, I, I did my auditions the way I, I do. Mm-hmm. I give it my all.
MATT: Mm-hmm.
FAWN: Even if I'm feeling low or discouraged, by the time I go in my booth and I'm auditioning, I'm a completely different person. I have no thoughts about anything else, which is what makes this kind of creative work for me so wondrous and wonderful, is I literally can just, just snap my fingers and become someone else with the voice acting,
i, I forget everything else. I'm confident. I'm accessing different emotions, and I'm giving it my all. Once the audition is over, I feel [00:04:00] like "Oh, man." Like, "How many thousands of auditions have I been on? Like, should I just give up? This sucks, man." Like, "How am I gonna make money?"
Like, all the thoughts came in, and then, uh, of course, the ugly neighbor and how I don't even wanna go outside anymore because that ugly neighbor, it's just, it's ugly. It's ugly, and I'm just like, "I've had it."
And nothing looked good. So I shook it off, go to my friend's house, and he has me watch this video, and all this video, like, for 10 minutes, was talking about was how you can't let your joy be distinguished. If you don't have a job or your job is not bringing in what you want if you have complaints that, that negativity, you need to get rid of it.
You cannot let all these circumstances take away your joy. You cannot [00:05:00] let the news take away your joy. You cannot let the ugly people take away your joy. You can't. And it, this message for me kept coming up. Like, I was out with another friend and we were driving around, and she was like, "You need to enjoy your home.
Don't let this ugly neighbor take away your home." Your love of your home, your sanctuary. Don't do that. You're letting , that ugly force, terrible force win. Don't do that. Enjoy. Be joyful. Be happy, be grateful. Be like, "Wow, I am so lucky I have two agents. I'm so lucky that I have this booth and I can have this creative outlet.
I'm so lucky that I get so many top-notch auditions. There's a huge list, and I really had to switch gears and kind of like going to the gym, use my muscles and say, "I am so lucky. This is [00:06:00] lucky. This is amazing." And instead of trying to be quiet and not make any noise because the neighbor or whatever, I was like, "Let's just be loud and be loud and be joyful."
Anyway, that was my message for this week. What do you think, Matt?
MATT: Oh my goodness. Yes. Yes, we're swirling around it, right? Um, God, it feels like it touches on so many kind of things that are so central to me, from emotion versus logic, because you're so emotionally connected to yourself, you can't help it, that you have a hard time looking at things more objectively.
Certainly living, trying to get outside of yourself a little bit so that you can see that you're in a scarcity mindset as opposed to really thinking about what abundance exists. And for me, the biggest takeaway for everything that I've been thinking about for the past I don't know how long, probably a month or [00:07:00] two, is that your brain always wants to prove you right.
Your brain always wants to prove you right. So if you say to your brain, "Scarcity, scarcity, scarcity," your brain says, "Yep." And if you say to your brain, "Abundance, beauty, joy, happiness," your brain's gonna go, "Yep, and these are the reasons why." And so figuring out how to focus on things, 'cause once you get outside of the, what is it?
What, what is his name? Maslow's pyramid of, of needs or pyramid of... Yeah, I think it is needs, where it starts with, like, your basic survival. Once you get outside of, "I have enough food, I have shelter," we start getting into, you know, less kind of critical, dire things that we need to survive, and it makes it easier for us to see those areas in which we do have abundance [00:08:00] because, because you do.
I think everybody, almost everybody does have opportunities, have, you know, whatever it is. Um-
FAWN: And there's always help, so even if you feel like you don't have anything, there is help somewhere always.
MATT: And there you go. And we can talk about when Nelson Mandela was initially locked up, he was very angry. He was very frustrated and everything else, and absolutely he should be.
He was incarcerated politically. And then he discovered sto- stoicism. Yay. But, and then he started really focusing on the things that he did have. He had the time to read. He had enough food, et cetera, et cetera. Yes, the guards were a-holes, but as he slowly but surely learned to understand and, and express and, and live through the joy that was around him, you know, he was able to-
FAWN: Inside of him
MATT: start to [00:09:00] convince the guards that maybe he's not such a bad person, and on and on and on, and eventually be- course became president of South Africa. You know, that's, that's extreme, but I would say, you know, fortunately most of us are not incarcerated- I mean- ... so we can find these good
FAWN: things.
And that's also biblical. Like, you get incarcerated, but you still do your best. You live your best, and that will ultimately shine through.
And that will get you to where you belong But, you know, but it's the, it's the time thing, Matt. 'Cause I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay." But then if I start thinking again, I'm like, "Yes, but it's been so long without."
MATT: Right.
FAWN: You know what I'm saying? - But, but that's again, the evil inclination trying to come in and, and sway you off the path of being joyful and being grateful and seeing the good, you know.
Or seeing the possibility that you're in [00:10:00] the midst of creating. even if you're in a bad state, you're in the midst of creating better. There's a contrast, so you're in the dark, you're striving for the light
MATT: Indeed. Indeed. So, you know, my Thought and my action step to hone in on this is just make sure that I keep the door open for the good that comes, and I, you know, I try and increase the joy.
I mean, yesterday, what was it? Ah, yesterday I went out for coffee with my youngest. There was this old lady, okay, fine, no big deal, um, left at the same time we did. My youngest held the door open for her. It was very sweet. And then I opened, and then I opened the second door 'cause it was two doors in, two doors out, uh, and I opened the second door, and I was like, "You are a superstar."
That's it. That's it.
FAWN: You said that to her- Yeah ... or you felt that way?
MATT: I said that to her. I was like, "You're a superstar," as I [00:11:00] gestured for her out the door, right?
FAWN: Oh. What'd she say?
MATT: Uh, she had no idea what to say. She just smiled and couldn't utter a word.
FAWN: So-
MATT: But guess what? I felt pretty darn good about it.
FAWN: Yeah.
MATT: My youngest felt pretty darn good about it, and I'm willing to bet the woman felt pretty darn good about it. And small random act of kindness, yes. Did it make me feel, you know, did it, did it remove everything crappy that's ever happened to me? Nah. But it, it honed in on a feeling of community, of abundance, of, of warmth.
FAWN: And I just wanna come back to another thing of celebration and joy, even when things don't feel that way, and also feeling abundance. I mean, it's two, two things. One, let's go to the abundance thing. Like, even if it feels like I'm [00:12:00] alone Being in that state of abundance, it has nothing to do with the outside world.
So if I feel abundant and I just start building within my sanctuary of my own mind, my own heart, my own bubble, I feel like I can create anything I want. And I had a friend who was like, who was like, "Don't do that. You're gonna set yourself up for failure and sadness and, um, what do you call it?
Um, when you get dis- disappointment." That was the word, disappointment. You're setting up, you're setting yourself up for disappointment if you wanna, like, do that and dream big, right? Dream big. Like, why are you looking at that? Just be grateful for what you have. I'm like, and this may be another subject, but I'm like, "No, I wanna see what options are out there."
I wanna create in my head some possibilities, even if it feels like [00:13:00] right now, not even just feels like, right now it would be impossible. Like, maybe right now it would be impossible for me to buy what I'm thinking of buying because there's no money. But why can't I just look at the possibi- And you do this to me all the time.
I'm like, "I'm just looking." You and the kids are like, "Mom, we can't afford that. Don't even... What are you doing?" I'm like, "I'm just looking. My God, it's called window shopping." Like, do you know what I'm saying? I just, I just feel like for me, the world is, I'm window shopping, and I'm maybe someday or maybe soon, things can change really quick and I can afford whatever it is.
I can, I can have all these friends, this community, this long table of dinner parties we have every night, where right now it's like, well, psht, there's no place to have [00:14:00] that, and we certainly don't have that community where we are. Do you know what I'm saying? But I'm still gonna dream it. I'm still gonna create it somehow.
I know I'm gonna pull it in somehow. Shoot. Now I feel like I lost the train of thought I had. I had a point to this, but whatever, I'll just keep going. Um, what was the other thing I said? It was like, um, one was abundance. What was the other thing I said?
MATT: Help is around.
FAWN: Yeah I just, it's I feel, and this is how I operate, I, I mean, I'm more ethereal that I feel like, I feel like an alchemist, and that's why I love cooking so much because especially when things feel, um, like they're never gonna happen. Like, you just feel like, "Ugh, nothing's happening the way I want." Like, "Everything I'm working so hard [00:15:00] for, where is it?
How come it's not happening? Is this my path? Am I not meant to do this?" Whenever I... If, if I can even brew a tea or, you know, put some ingredients together in the kitchen, I feel like an alchemist. And while I'm making a little meal for all of us, I'm also conjuring up possibilities in the world. Do you know what I'm saying?
In creating something so small, maybe I can't buy it right now, but maybe I can make it on my own with what I have. Maybe I can't afford that outfit, but maybe I can use some materials I have from the outfits I have now and create something extraordinary with it. Do you know what I'm saying?
MATT: Absolutely.
FAWN: So even if, like, I, I can't get that thing that I'm striving for, that job, maybe I can create my own thing. Maybe I can create something better. If I can't buy this [00:16:00] bowl, maybe I can make a bowl with something. I'm pretty crafty. I'm artistic. We all are. I think I can do it. So anyway, that's been my whole thing this week is that has been my focus.
I don't know if this helps. But, um, anyway, that's what I've been going back and forth on, and it's been, it's been challenging 'cause I can't always keep up the, the joy and, like, be like, "Yay, party," where I have to force myself to do it. But, like, once you do, it's like you kinda get the ball rolling. You're like, "What the hell?"
Let's just, like, whoop it up. Who cares? What's the alternative, right? The alternative is the bad guy wins.
MATT: And there you have it. I would say, how I would say it myself is, what you focus on grows. And your brain is gonna prove you right no matter what you do, so do the good thing and, [00:17:00] and your brain's gonna say, "Yes, that was the good thing.
Yes, you do have... Yes, you..." Turn it, turn it, turn those negative thoughts. Turn that frown upside down, et cetera, et cetera.
FAWN: I must say, though, in the midst of that, even in between, if you wanna, I take a little break, actually. I will take a break and either go in my booth or, um, go under the covers, like with a big pillow that I'll hug, and just cry.
Because I feel like I can't be like, "Yippee! Whoopee!" Like, ugh, it feels so wrong 'cause I'm like, "This is so opposite of what the actual reality is." I can't just be like, "Yippee!" But if I cry, I feel like it washes things away and things are a little bit better, so I'm like, I can breathe a little bit and go, "Okay.
Yay."
MATT: Crying always feels like taking [00:18:00] physical action about something, as opposed to just dwelling on
FAWN: it. It's a cleansing.
MATT: Right.
FAWN: Sometimes y- it's like washing the dishes. You have to wash the grime off of things, right? And have a br- a, a meal on a clean plate. Not sometimes. That's what you have to do. Hey-oh.
MATT: Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. When I was a bachelor, I... No, I'm kidding.
FAWN: Ugh. So that's it for me.
MATT: All right. Sounds good.
FAWN: Okay. Um, oh, wait a minute. Uh-oh. Hold on.
MATT: Ruh-roh.
FAWN: Okay. Last week's episode, whew. Oh, dear. Really? We got a major complaint. Really? No, no. We got a, we got a complaint- ... and I have to set it straight. So, the, we got a complaint about why is Matt not meeting his friend?
Um, I think because I was talking about my experience in LA about someone being 20 minutes away, that it got confused with Matt and his friend coming to this area where we [00:19:00] live, where he's actually, like, 300 miles away.
MATT: Right, and I was talking- So- ... about two hours. What I meant was two hours on his side and two hours on my side.
FAWN: That means, like-
MATT: To meet in the middle ...
FAWN: for, for, for Steini to get here would have to get on a train or a car. It would take minimum two hours to meet us here or wherever, and then the two hours or more, mo- most likely three hours to get back. So that's six hours. They were only here for three days, and they had every day booked over, like, 300 miles away.
So anyway, please understand it wasn't like Steini was here, like, 20 minutes away. I don't know if that... We just have to please clear that up, okay?
MATT: All right.
FAWN: All right. Are we good?
MATT: Hopefully.
FAWN: I mean, we'll see. All right, Martin? All right. Talk to you later.
MATT: Be well, everyone.
FAWN: Have a beautiful every day.
MATT: [00:20:00] Bye-bye.
