Episode Transcript
FAWN: [00:00:00] Welcome back to our Friendly World, everybody, and hopefully overnight. Oh, do you wanna say, hi, Matt?
MATT: Hello.
FAWN: Hopefully overnight, the world is completely peaceful and lovely and everything is beautiful and fine, but just in case there's still some worry out there,
today we're talking about the collective mind and community dynamics. how communities and platforms shape our collective thinking. So. In times of social or political instability, people are asking Matt, they're asking, how do we hold space? How do we hold space for the differences? We all have the changes. And how do we have authentic connection within communities? Hmm. Spice Spice for my footy. Oh dear.
MATT: Once upon a time, one time.
This one dude said that on that one program. Oh yeah. [00:01:00] We can't say and we can't let it go. Yeah.
FAWN: We can never say space anymore because a while ago we used to watch, um,
MATT: house Hunters International
FAWN: House Hunters International, and then was he from Australia?
MATT: It was definitely one of those, uh, uk, UK Commonwealth type places for sure.
FAWN: I think it was New Zealand or Australia, I don't remember. But he was looking, there was this one guy, he was looking for a place to live and he kept saying, I need spice for my footy. But we heard spice as spice. Like spice. As spice like, you know, like nutmeg, cinnamon. Cin. So ever since then, every time we have to say space in our family, we say spice.
I need some spice
MATT: for my footy.
FAWN: Anyway, we totally digress. Yes, we did. Did so anyway. Do you wanna know my answer for. I forgot what we were talking about. I didn't have an answer, but it wasn't a good
MATT: one. Collective mind and how do we hold space for [00:02:00] differing opinions, et cetera.
FAWN: Well, I was thinking like, how do we hold things together when things feel so out of control?
And I can't trust the neighbors, which I don't by the way. Um, I don't Stop biting your nails. Yes. Uh, oh my God. Why are you biting your nails? I'm anxious. Why?
MATT: Please go. Your answer's gonna make me nervous. I'm sure.
FAWN: Now I've lost my train of thoughts.
MATT: This is going well, isn't it? It makes
FAWN: me worried sick when you do that, like that's when I know you're really stressed out and you are really going for it.
My God. Like they were chicken wings. Let me see that. You know, tofu chicken.
He hiding is anyways, you were saying. I don't remember now. Do we need to start over? No. God. What were we talking about?
MATT: The collective mind holding space for different opinions. Oh, I don't trust [00:03:00] the neighbors and not trusting the neighbors.
FAWN: Oh my. Is this the subject that we're talking about stressing you out?
MATT: Maybe. Go ahead.
FAWN: Go, go, go. Well, I was just going to say that I. Like I just, I don't know it. Like yesterday we went to the mall. Me, I took, I took our youngest to go. I mean, it's not a mall, but it was a place where we could buy art supplies and there was like a clothing supply chain store that we went to.
We just needed, we were looking for something in particular. I dislike going to these places. It's always a gray zone for me. Mm-hmm. And I, and I, I don't feel relaxed there, especially these days. So, um, we were walking and there was a, in the parking lot, there was a man playing music.
He had the whole setup and he was playing guitar, like he was, uh, hooked up to an amp. Oh, it was so beautiful. He was such a beautiful musician [00:04:00] and our youngest and I was feeling so much better with his music there. Like I felt safer, calmer, happier, uplifted. And then, we put in a couple of dollars
into the box he was playing in front of. He was so grateful. And then he immediately changed to a different song and kind of gave me a wink, like a, like a nod and a wink. Like, here's for you. He started to play this song I've been listening to over and over again in our house. Like, remember we were talking about favorites, and you're like, well, I would, I would think this was your favorite.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's like, well, I do like it a lot, but it's, I wouldn't say it's a favorite, but I, I have been listening to Bossa Nova, like, happy, beautiful, love sometimes sad, but it's still beautiful bossanova and The Girl From Epanmema, when that comes on, like inside my head there's a crowd of me [00:05:00] cheering like Ha.
So he started playing "The Girl From Epanima". And I was like, oh my God, in the parking lot, just like I was at a concert. I'm like, oh, it's a sign. I was so happy and he just like gave me a little wink. Like, this one's for you. Like how did he know that? Anyway? We go in the store, we come out, we have to go to another store, and our kids said, wow, they should have this all the time because it makes life here so much more beautiful.
Mm-hmm. And happy. Mm-hmm. Like everything I was feeling, but I didn't say anything out loud about it, like feeling safe, feeling happy, feeling uplifted, feeling like, ah, you're a part of everything. Everyone's connected in a beautiful way. Anyway, we go in the store, we come out. Why are there two squad cars,
like this guy had murdered somebody, like all the police all over him. It was terrifying. [00:06:00] Not to mention our car was right there too. Like, I'm like, oh my God, what? Like, I don't even know, like how to maneuver through all these cops. Mm-hmm. Like I don't wanna, I don't wanna be near cops. They scare me like, I don't wanna be Right.
Especially these days. It's, it's, it's so stressful. Anyway, so we started to, to think some fool called the police on this beautiful person. Right? What the hell? So I don't, you know, I, I don't feel awe, safe and happy and part of the tribe or the community, part of the community. I'm gonna start. I, I can't, I, I don't know.
So my, my, my, uh, advice is to talk to friends in other countries, some people who are away from our little experience here. And it's not little, it's everywhere. But, you know, like just talk to friends who don't live [00:07:00] in this particular kind of culture right now. So that way one, I have an out, like if we need to like make a run for it, I, I can go to another country maybe.
Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. Or just have a different perspective. Like, hey, that's not normal. Oh, our government here supports the arts. I just started feeling as an artist myself. I'm like, they hate us.
MATT: Right,
FAWN: but no, you're not hated. Get a completely different perspective.
So that's my answer. Matt, I'm really worried about you biting your nails. Why are you so
MATT: stressed out? Anyways, welcome to my day, babe.
FAWN: I thought we were all having a chill day.
MATT: Did you see me chilling upstairs?
FAWN: Actually, I was working, so, no, exactly. But I thought everything was cool. What happened?
MATT: I'm trying to get stuff.
Do my, do my thing and waiting on things to appear and not appear outta my control, et cetera. The job search at nauseum, I'm sorry. Anyways, so let's, let's [00:08:00] talk about this for a second, right? What, as a society traditionally do we do when stuff like this starts happening?
FAWN: Well, what, what exactly I kind of threw.
I feel like I threw a bunch of different things out there. Well, we're
MATT: talking about the guy who's just mind his own business performing and gets harassed. Okay. You know, what are, what are the typical things we do when you know we're not allowed to do things that we should maybe legally be allowed to do.
You know, like maybe he's not legally allowed to perform there, but it's not two cops coming in harassing him. It's one cop showing up and saying, Hey, are you aware you're not supposed to be here? It wasn't like that. And then they were, and then he disappears.
FAWN: They were on him and they were like, and then, you know, he
MATT: jumps into a vehicle or he walks off the property.
Life is simple, you know? What do we do in that situation as a society?
FAWN: Well now if you try to help, you're part of the, you get arrested along with him. So you can't even say, you can't even say anything. 'cause I thought to [00:09:00] say, Hey, thank you for making our day beautiful. I'm sorry this is happening, but I, I was genuinely afraid of the cops.
MATT: Right. Right. And so, you know, in a one-on-one situation, you've gotta turn on a camera, you've gotta get somebody to videotape you, but you do run the risk of terrible things happening to you. Yeah.
FAWN: You can't do that anymore because they'll take you in for taking footage, you know, for taking pictures.
MATT: Right.
FAWN: I mean, I don't know. That's what I was told. That's what I've been hearing. Yes. I don't know if that's true.
MATT: You are right.
FAWN: What am I right about? You're right, they will, you can get arrested for, they'll arrest you for stuff like that. They can do whatever they want to. We have no, there's no law abiding, well, law enforcement,
MATT: we, we,
the way society is structured, we need to prepare for these types of events and try and get ahead of them if we believe we're gonna be in these situations. Right. [00:10:00] So option number one is go in and say, Hey, thank you for doing that. I'm sorry this was happening to you, and dealing with the ramifications that you don't wanna deal with because the ramifications are dire, right?
FAWN: Yeah.
MATT: The next level is, you know, if this is something that you're willing to put yourself more out there for, would be to provoke the response with a inside of a group. In the way that there were two, uh, workers that ICE believed were undocumented working on a roof. Ice came. Well, all of a sudden a preacher showed up with his flock.
FAWN: Didn't he get shot in the head? That priest?
MATT: No, he didn't get shot.
FAWN: It was a different one.
MATT: Different probably, yes. Yeah. But he got a whole pe, a whole bunch of people there. They're all videotaping, that's the next level. That's what we as a society are supposed to do.
We're supposed to get comfortable with acts of, [00:11:00] what's the word? Civil disobedience. Civil disobedience. And the trick is, is you get behind an unimpeachable resource and or reference point, like a priest or a, that's part of the trick. And that's what happened in the sixties with the Civil rights movement.
FAWN: I don't think that plays anymore though, Matt. I don't think they care.
MATT: I think it still does. They shot, if you push it, they somebody in the head. If you push it hard
FAWN: enough, it was a, a man of faith, like a priest. Again, I'm, I'm sorry. I don't know. We get so many headlines now that. There's, I mean, I don't even know.
And where did you even read this headline from? I don't know. There's so much. Was it TikTok? Was it, no, I don't, Insta Was it, was
MATT: it, was it or was it a real reference source? Honestly, and we have to be especially careful,
FAWN: but it wasn't TikTok. It was, you know, when you turn on your computer and on the bottom right, like if your mouse's, if your mouse on windows, the mouse scroll.
Oh, is it on [00:12:00] PC only?
MATT: I think it might be, and I don't get it because I turned it off. Oh. Because I got, I didn't know you
FAWN: could turn it off. I
MATT: ain't got time for that. I don't want anything disrupted. Well, you
FAWN: know, that's how it came up, is I, I scrolled on it and then it popped up.
MATT: Mm-hmm.
FAWN: And then there's so much that pops up, then all you see are headlines.
And then they disappear really fast too. Yes. On you.
MATT: And, and that's the other problem.
FAWN: So you don't know where you saw it, who the Yeah. You don't know.
MATT: You don't know.
FAWN: And yet your whole chemistry and vibe changes,
MATT: which is why I turned it off.
FAWN: You're smart.
MATT: I have to go looking. But yet, but you're biting your nails here.
I have to go looking for news. To find news. I have to go. Looking for such and such. To find such and such.
FAWN: So you don't let it accost you. Yeah. You go out. I'm hunting for it.
MATT: I'm, I don't want to be at the mercy of the algorithm. Hitting me when I'm weak. And that's the problem. And that's something that I've started seeing when I go to sites that I don't want to go to, but I have to go to [00:13:00] as part of a job search.
Like LinkedIn, their newsfeed. Oh, don't do it. Just don't do
FAWN: it. I don't even know. I didn't even know they had a newsfeed. Yeah. Well, it's,
MATT: it's, there's a newsfeed on the upper right, but then there's your feed for you. And it's, I've never
FAWN: seen that.
MATT: It's people around you who post stuff and then you can get pro, somebody can pay money and get promoted.
So it's like, I think it's like a Facebook feed, but I don't do Facebook either. Isn't that
FAWN: interesting? Our computer experiences are totally different. They are. They're, 'cause my LinkedIn has nothing but artists and, um, you know, VO people and. Uh, what do you call them? Um, casting agents, posting stuff.
Mm-hmm. I, and there's nothing, nothing. No news, nothing. It's just that,
MATT: right? Yeah. It's different experiences. And again, this is what the algorithm does to you. 'cause Yes, I am trapped by the LinkedIn algorithm because I'm looking for work and you have to have a LinkedIn profile and you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So I [00:14:00] kowtow as minimally as possible. Mm-hmm. Anyways. But yeah, there's sites that I don't, every time I go there I'm like, okay, you're just here. Just look at the top. Just go here and then that's, and then close it down real quick. Otherwise, yeah, it's gonna mess with my body chemistry,
FAWN: so,
MATT: okay. But it's gonna make me feel like a victim, and that is unacceptable.
And that's what the feed is doing to you. It's making you feel like a victim. Yeah. I should be able to say, this ain't right. You know, I can't be. Disrespectful. I can't stop the policeman from doing his job, but I should be able to videotape him. I should be able to audio record him and done as an American citizen in the land of the free, in the home of the brave.
And when I don't feel like I can do that, then that's not the America I wanna live in.
Speaking as a white male, [00:15:00] natural born citizen, and all the rest of it, but that's what it's supposed to be. And when it isn't, then you have to figure out what's the line. And once that line gets crossed, then you have to figure out what to do about it, because I believe, as was stated in V for vendetta, government should be afraid of its citizens.
Citizens should not be afraid of their government. Well,
FAWN: I think they are afraid of the citizens. That's why we have been so unhealthy. You know, our food is crap and dangerous. We're everybody's on drugs of some kind that is horrible doing horrible things to people's bodies. Right. It's in the air, it's the climate, it's the way the architecture is set up.
So we don't hang out. You know, there are no common places. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, we've been talking about this for years. What's the matter?
MATT: Uh, I thought I was recording the time and I'm not.
FAWN: Oh, see, you're so stressed out. You look like [00:16:00] something horrific happened. Okay, everybody calm down please. But we are
MATT: talking about something that, you know,
FAWN: but we talk about this every day.
MATT: Well, I'm being a, I'm being a lot more serious today. I
FAWN: don't like it.
MATT: Okay, then I'll try and be
FAWN: light. La la la.
MATT: But you're talking about people getting arrested and the poppo, so there you go.
FAWN: Alright, well, I'm sorry. Mm-hmm. Um,
well, my other question is, so that's, that's a great solution, is don't have the news accost you
MATT: don't have the news accost you. Yes. But when you see something,
FAWN: seek out news. Don't, don't put yourself in a place where it's thrown at you at any willy-nilly. Yeah, willy-nilly. Okay, so the other question is, well, how do we communicate with one another?
Because this has set up a situation where we're not talking to the neighbors anymore more than [00:17:00] ever. We're not talking to the neighbors. Right? Right. We used to live in a culture where you just didn't know your neighbor's names or anything, but now it's like, I feel like it's back to the times where neighbors would spy on you and turn you in for things or you know, it doesn't help that we live in an HOA situation.
It feels like, my God, God forbid the grass has grown half an inch and we the
MATT: ter motive of being asked a question by one of our neighbors.
FAWN: What do you mean? Wait, say that again.
MATT: So we had a neighbor ask our child, actually, you know, do. How do you feel about living in an HOA?
FAWN: Yeah. Yeah.
MATT: And it felt like it was a phishing question.
FAWN: It was, yeah. Because I, I finally, after three years, complained about the neighbor who's always complaining about us and everything. So then I said, look, I have footage, evidence, blah, blah, blah. Notice they never called me back though. They're [00:18:00] all on the other people's side. This old person that keeps complaining about everything
MATT: who's been here forever and will be here forever.
She's a nightmare. Anyways. Anyway.
FAWN: Any who? Any who? Yeah, so no trust, so I mean, my thing is I reach out to friends that don't live here. Right? Right. Because. One, I want a different perspective. I want a vacation from whatever's going on in my vicinity. Mm-hmm. So, so try to shake it off from my circle, but um, yeah.
You know, when you don't see any hope within like your neighborhood or something. Right. Then what do you do? Move. But until then, like until then, hang out with other people. A different circle.
MATT: Right.
And I'll also, again, when I start feeling too imprisoned inside the house, I go outside. [00:19:00] I, I try and take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually every
FAWN: day. Imprisoned inside the house. Like you're trying to get away from us. No, like, I don't blame you. Sometimes it's like, sometimes
MATT: you feel like the walls are closing in, you read, you're on the internet and all the news is bad.
FAWN: Yeah. You gotta shake it off. I get you, you know, get some air.
MATT: So you go get some air, you know, but I, I try and feed myself physically, mentally, spiritually, every day.
FAWN: Okay. Well, that's all I have to add. Okay. I'm sorry. No, I just wanna, I just wanna pause here because I wanna see what's going on with you.
Okay. All right. Um, all right, everybody, take care. Have a lovely every day.
MATT: Stay safe, stay deliberate. Okay.
