The Party Pooper and the Expert

A toast: "Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell."

Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when we talk about people we don't like and we compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.

What's a good word to describe people who just get you down, the ones who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. This episode is dedicated to our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walk their walk, and are in some ways, accosted by people who totally try to throw you off.  Sometimes it comes in the form of random chatter and if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up. This is a fix for all that stuff.

Party Poopers

Good

[00:00:01] Fawn: morning.

[00:00:02] Matt: Hello.

[00:00:02] Fawn: Good afternoon. Good evening. Hello to the world. Hello, our beautiful friends. Don't let the turkeys get you down. Don't let those turkeys get you down. I love turkeys. You know, when you talk about people and you compare them to pigs or cows or turkeys, it makes me sad because I love all these animals.

What's a good word to describe people who just get you down. Who take you away from your good path? I'm not talking about your good friends. I'm and I'm talking to all of our goodhearted people, right? I'm talking about our loving people that go around, go about their lives, walking their walk, and you're in some ways, accosted by people

who totally try to, throw you off. I don't know if it's intentional. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not, sometimes it's just the way they are. And if you hear enough of this chatter, it can really mess you up.

[00:01:04] Matt: Call 'em party poopers.

[00:01:06] Fawn: Oh yeah. Party

[00:01:07] Matt: poopers. Every party has a pooper. That's why we invited you party pooper. Oh my God. Okay. Oh, oh, wait. That was a song. Oh. Oh, hope we don't get in trouble for

that. Oh,

[00:01:15] Fawn: So for example, I'm a yoga teacher, but there's so many people now telling you how to breathe.

[00:01:22] Fawn: So like case and point breathing. I was, um, I. I I found myself, well, let me, let me give you the list that just went through my head.

There are people who are telling you how to breathe. There are people who are telling you how to communicate. There are people who are telling you how to even pray, and I'm not a particular religion here, so don't get thrown off by that. But that's another thing that's happened. Like if you use the G word God or whatever now you're, you know, spirit, whatever, right.

It messes people up. This is why I'm gonna explain to you why and why you shouldn't let that mess you up because it can actually help you. But like I've experienced it in photography. I have experienced it in baking, cooking, raising kids. There are all these party poopers who are telling you, you're doing it wrong that you need to do it in this particular sequence.

Otherwise it doesn't work case in point, there are all these like quote unquote visualization experts. Give me a break, like telling you, oh, well you have to do it this way. You have to do step 1, 2, 3 before. Otherwise you'll never get what you want. This is why your life is not working out.

Just it's just all too much garbage guys. So this morning I was trying to calm down and I'm like, let me breathe. I'm not even breathing. And then I thought of all the voices, even me, like all the things I've read and all the voices now that are saying, oh, you need to do box breathing. You need to do this kind of breathing.

You need to hold it for this many seconds. And like all these like, oh, and you have to breathe in from your feet and breathe in from the top of your head and let it go through, you know what I mean? It is just too much guys. So. I just decided cuz all that was in my head just right to take one breath mm-hmm because I was stressing out and I was laying, lying down in bed, just stressing out mm-hmm and so I said, you know what?

I'm just gonna breathe ugly.

[00:03:29] Matt: I'm just going to breathe ugly. Okay. Which

[00:03:31] Fawn: means I'm just going to let my belly get as big and fat as possible. You know like as women, especially like you don't wanna breathe because you don't wanna stick your belly out. You always wanna look thin, and that really gets in the way of your health.

So breathe like no one's watching, you know, like dance, like no one's watching mm-hmm like, I just decided to take a deep breath and let the belly just like expand in always, right. Like a Jabba the Hutt kind of expansion. And I immediately felt better. cause I, I naturally breathe that again. Like my body just did it for me.

It's amazing how that one breath made me feel better. I didn't follow the rules. I just did what was natural. I just stopped listening. Right. But there are people out there, like, even from photography. I remember there were a few years even to this day, actually that I was, um, I went through major schooling for photography.

Then I went to schooling again, cause I'm always trying to learn more. Right? And then you get people, professors, teachers who don't want some people don't want you to succeed. Some people just want to show their expertise and show that they know best that you know nothing. If you pay attention too much to that as a goodhearted person, as a person, that's already doing your thing, you're doing well. If you pay too much attention to this, it can really throw you off your game. So for photography, for instance, I got so caught up in the, the, is it called minutia? The, just the technical sh it's it's not necessary once you have it down. Once you understand the technical, why make things complicated?

Just do your thing. Even if it's not the technical technical side, then it's the aesthetics, right. You know, what are you trying to convey? And like, how are you composing it? And like all these rules for art, the only rules should be your heart and your emotions.

[00:05:45] Matt: See, I'm not sure if I a hundred percent agree with where you're at, because we have a problem

I think, as a society that we wanna quickly leap from Kind of apprenticeship to mastery. So that's not what I'm

[00:05:59] Fawn: talking about.

[00:05:59] Matt: Well, I just wanna, I'm not just wanna make sure we emphasize this point because I always tell people, you know, learn the rules, then break them. But. Learn the

rules first,

[00:06:11] Fawn: Matt, that's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying when you are already on your path,

[00:06:16] Matt: when you're already on your path,

[00:06:17] Fawn: You've already studied and you keep studying. There are people who come in and say, you're doing it wrong, right? Because they just wanna show their.

Expertise.

[00:06:27] Matt: And there you go. And I completely agree. It's just, I wanna make sure.

And I, I, I heard you say it. I did. I just wanted to make sure that that point was

emphasized.

[00:06:34] Fawn: Well, like, let's talk about raising kids. I don't know if it happens to you, but as a mom, as a woman, I am constantly constantly in different ways, sometimes it's not so upfront, like where you can say, oh, this is exactly what they said.

Sometimes it's just sneaky. People are constantly judging my parenting or like saying what is best for our kids, where they don't know, they know nothing about our kids and our family. Right. Well, and they assume too much. And you know, it, it can really mess you up, especially when you're tired, especially when you're questioning yourself already because raising kids is no joke.

It is horrifying and frightening and you are tired all the time. You're giving it all you have. And then you hear all these voices that are telling you, you're doing it wrong, where you are kind of judging yourself anyway, because you wanna make sure you're doing it right. I'm just saying that's kind of stuff messes you up stuff that should come naturally through love, but like case in point, the breathing thing.

Visualization. All those like gurus and mm-hmm give me a break, man. come on. you know, if I tell you, do you want a cup of coffee? That's visualization. You in your mind visualize a cup of coffee. That's all you need. Where's my. Go get it.

[00:08:12] Matt: do you. I do. I completely get it.

And that takes us kind of in my mind, at least to the next level of understanding and knowledge. And that is that anybody can throw facts at you all day, all night it's until you internalize them and make your own that it becomes wisdom and somebody expressing this is how you visualize, well, guess.

this is how they visualize. And that works really well for them. Won't necessarily work well for you, because guess what? You're a completely different person. You, it may work

[00:08:40] Fawn: well, what, but it may not. What I'm saying is, you know, you know, best, you know, you know, you are your own if, if I can equate it to you are a super, uh, highly performance kind of vehicle.

Like a mm-hmm like a super car. right. You know how you drive, you know, where all your gears are, you know how to drive it. If someone comes in, let's say you're a Lamborghini. Someone comes in and they're a Ferrari. I bet you, they don't really know all the ins and outs of the Lamborghini. They have to figure it out.

But like, you know, here comes a Ferrari telling you how to drive. You as a Lamborghini, you are the Lamborghini, whatever. I don't know, cars. I'm just saying I don't know. You know, I'm just trying to make an example,

[00:09:26] Matt: right. And no, no, no, again, completely get it. I completely understand. Again, it's these pieces of interesting almost trivia, but not trivia, but like pieces of something that then can be transformed once you internalize them into knowledge. And that is indeed yes, first gear is good for this second gear is good for that, but how I get to first gear, how I get to second gear on my car is different paddle shifters, automagic, um, you know, uh, stick, shift,

[00:09:53] Fawn: whatever it is.

Did you say automagic? That's your own word, right?

No, it isn't.

It Isn't? I always thought you invented that. I,

[00:10:00] Matt: yes, my wife very gullible.

[00:10:03] Fawn: Stop

[00:10:03] Matt: it, I didn't invent it, but it's a very convenient

[00:10:06] Fawn: term.

Thanks for calling me gullible and stupid. I

didn't.

[00:10:10] Matt: Hey, gullible is not stupid. Ignorant is not again,

stupid.

It's it's I should bring to it

[00:10:17] Fawn: not so gullible. I don't appreciate that. Watch out

[00:10:21] Matt: getting in trouble today, please.

[00:10:22] Fawn: That's right. That's right. I'm feeling very frisky.

[00:10:25] Matt: Well, frisky

[00:10:26] Fawn: is good.

No, not risky. I'm feeling very don't mess with me today. I'm on fire.

[00:10:32] Matt: Yes boss.

[00:10:32] Fawn: So what I'm saying is now I've oh, like for example, alright, don't get turned off by what I'm gonna say, cuz I know we are all from different faiths and some of us, just whatever you are, you are going about

life and life is quite magical. It is electronic. It is, it is vibrational. It is everything. It doesn't matter. I'm all religions. So I'm about to start talking about God, but for example, I've always had my own relationship with God, God and I are tight. Alright. I know. I, I get messages. I have been since I was a little kid, but you know, you get these people who are like, so religious coming in throughout your life. And they say stuff in your presence and it kind of accumulates. So if you don't clean up your atmosphere in your life, these things end up chipping away at and making your life they're chipping away at your life. And they're chipping away at your ability to really walk properly.

It makes things mucky. For example. When I was a kid, like is an ex, okay. For example, this is an example of little voices in your head. Right. And they can stick around forever and you need to make sure you wipe it out and clear it pretty much on a daily basis. Right. You can call it meditation. You can call it just asking, telling yourself let's clear that. That's unnecessary.

That is garbage. That needs to be recycled. That needs to be composted into something beautiful instead of just laying around and being all smelly and icky. all right. So for example, when I was a kid, I don't know, probably five or six years old. Mm-hmm I was playing with my cousin. And, you know, the family was religious of their own faith, whatever.

I was always, since the beginning, my own person, you know, I didn't really, like, I didn't have a particular religion or anything, but I had communication with spirit. Like I, I knew I knew who I was and I knew I knew spirit. I knew God, I, I heard the voice. I, it was just part of me, right? No question. But I was playing with my cousin and out of the blue

she's like, Hey, when you go to the bathroom, you should never think about God. because God's not gonna like that.

[00:12:59] Matt: Oh dear.

[00:12:59] Fawn: It's like the worst thing you can do is to think about God in the bathroom. So of course

[00:13:05] Matt: don't, don't think about pink elephants. Oh God. Now I can't stop thinking. So

[00:13:08] Fawn: every time I went to the bathroom, I had a panic attack.

I'm like, because I of course would think about God. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to thinking to myself, but you know, you all know me. I get my best messages in the bathroom, probably because of that conversation. Ever since I can remember, I've always had great epiphanies and direction in life by being in the bathroom.

And I think it's from God, it is divine. I get divine insight. I get insight into life when I'm in the bathroom. Mm-hmm but do you know what I'm saying? All these years, that's kind of stuck with. I had to, I realized the other night, I gotta clear that because what is that saying? I was talking to my friend, Ruth, our friend, Ruth, you met her, right?

She came on our show. We were talking about this last night that I'm fascinated by how people pray and the words that they choose to link together in an open prayer . Like I'm talking about my friends from all religions, even the ones that aren't religious. It's just fascinating how they master, they compose a prayer and I realized I'm afraid to pray out loud because I've heard all these wonderful people, so eloquently put together a prayer, things like spontaneous on the fly.

They can come up with something totally eloquent to say for that situation. Whereas I was feeling very self-conscious I'm like, I can't do. Can I, so I came up with all these questions. I was talking to Ruth about it. Ruth is very spiritual, very of God, you know? Right. And I was like, okay, so I'm having a problem.

One is, I've been remembering all these things that people have told me. Like, don't ask God for anything. God has enough troubles. God is not here to help you with all your little details. I'm like, really? Cause I. God and I are tight. Like I always ask why not? And I always feel heard, but I had this enough from certain Catholic people and

[00:15:18] Matt: oh dear

[00:15:18] Fawn: certain Christians that had really messed me up.

It kept happening over and over again throughout my life so far, like people saying that, like, why are you bothering God with your basically saying with your stupid asks God, God is busy. I'm like, well, isn't God infinite and everywhere. And like, why are you putting man's persona on God?

[00:15:47] Matt: He's,

he's a dude in a flowing robe who only has time to take care of one thing at a time.

See, again, not the tradition I was brought up in. I was literally told in confirmation school, which is for, yeah, you people who don't have to deal and there's different traditions, but it's how you become, you have to go through confirmation class and pass it ironically, and then you're accepted as a member of the Lutheran church.

But we were told you can pray like totally like leaning back with your arms out. It doesn't matter. and we were told you can ask for anything. And even my confirmation little Bible verse was, you know, whatever you ask for in prayer, you, you shall receive. Right. And that's in the Bible.

Right. You know, and, but that's new Testament.

[00:16:26] Fawn: Not old.

Well, I'm just saying, I think maybe I talk to more people and I have different conversations with people. Mm-hmm and people say the most outrageous stuff to me, you know, people say stuff to me that they would never say to you. Right. I don't know. Chalk it up to me being the color that I am. And you being the color, who knows why?

I don't know, but I mean, that's just one example. And then the another one I heard was, God, won't hear you unless you voice it out loud. And this goes to the visualization. Oh, interesting. This goes to the visualization people too. You have to write it down. Right. And I know that's important. True, but they'll say it won't happen unless you write it down, it won't happen

uN unless you voice it out loud. Um, it won't happen. So I'm like, well, does that mean, God doesn't hear my, my thoughts. And so this was a conversation I was having with Ruth. I'm like, I'm confused now. Like I'm like, I don't even know she's like, of course, of course you, and she equated it to, she brought up a, an actual verse from the Bible.

because that's what she does, you know? Right. But she used a story as an example of like how the voice of God is in a whisper of the wind. I'm like, so if it's the voice of God is in the whisper of a wind. So my whispering of my mind is a whisper of the wind to God. So therefore it works both ways. So God or spirit, whatever you wanna call it can hear.

I can just think a thought. I can think a prayer. Is that valid, you know? And I needed that validation from someone who's an expert. You know what I mean? Like in that case, I'm seeking out an expert, like, can you set me straight? Like, this is what I believed since forever. Mm-hmm she's like, of course, of course a, a whisper of a thought is heard.

Of course, you know?

[00:18:24] Matt: Yeah. But did you ask

her about peeing?

[00:18:26] Fawn: What do you mean?

[00:18:27] Matt: Well, did you say it's bad to think of God when I pee?

[00:18:30] Fawn: Oh, I, we totally talked about that. Yeah. She's like, that is ridiculous. Like , cause that's assuming that your body is filthy and God made your body like you are from God. Like why? It's not filthy.

It was just some ridiculous thing my stupid cousin brought up. Hey, when we

were

[00:18:47] Fawn: five,

[00:18:48] Matt: this wasn't spitty spit. Spitty spit spit spit spit.

Was it?

[00:18:52] Fawn: No, it was not spitty spit spit. It was the cousin that made that nickname for spitty spits spit.

[00:18:57] Matt: Oh, nice. And guess why spitty spit spit had that

nickname

[00:19:00] Fawn: by the way, we're translating it from Farsi.

We called him. Well, actually I never called him this, but the cousin called him tof tofu. TOF is spit you know, it's like spitty spit, spit spitty would be tofu, but TOF means to spit. And so to tofu was his name and it was created by the same cousin. Just mean, who said don't think of God in the bathroom.

[00:19:30] Matt: this person liked to be in charge

[00:19:31] Fawn: anyway.

You've met them. They're nuts, these people, but anyway, I digress. So, yeah. Where were we anyways? We're talking about. " Experts" and party poopers that can throw you off your game. Now I talked about religion and faith, but it comes in so many forms. Baking, like I'm doing a great job baking and then someone comes along and says, you can't do it like that.

Baking is a science. I'm like it is?! Cuz I just grab a handful of this and it, but that's what I. You and other people , but like, but yet you enjoy my baklava. You enjoy everything I make pretty much, sometimes I screw up, but I don't measure like that. It is not a science. The science for me is emotion and heart and love, you know what I'm saying?

So, and then, you know, then I started freaking out. I'm like, oh my God, I have to get one of those scales and measure it. And oh, I have to measure it in a cup this way and oh, it's, it's too much just live your life. you're a goodhearted person. Walk your walk. There are too many voices right now, and there are too many voices because everyone's trying to make a buck.

Honestly, everyone sees the traditional way of making money is now gone. So all these people are online telling you, you have to buy their course and they get so protective of like that. They're like so hungry and greedy to make money a certain way that they don't care how it's affecting people.

Everybody's selling a course now, you know, I may sell a course in the future, but I, I hope that I don't behave like that. I hope that it's done with integrity and a sense of openness and a sense of sharing,

[00:21:24] Matt: you know? Right. It should come from a place of abundance rather than a place of scarcity. And there's a lot of, if you don't, if you don't take my course, then you can't do such and such.

[00:21:33] Fawn: Yeah. You'll never make it without my course or you'll never make it you know, whatever.

[00:21:41] Matt: Walk, your walk, figure out what works for you

and move

[00:21:44] Fawn: anyway. That's the message for today. Love you guys. Talk to you in a few days. Don't let the turkeys get you down or don't let the party poopers poop on you.

Be well, talk to you later. Bye-bye bye.