Friends, Not Friends, and Secret Friend?

Episode 20 December 21, 2020 00:54:29
Friends, Not Friends, and Secret Friend?
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt - Friendship Tools
Friends, Not Friends, and Secret Friend?

Dec 21 2020 | 00:54:29

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Hosted By

Fawn Anderson

Show Notes

Fawn and Matt break out all their dictionaries and read all the definitions of friendship and have a good laugh. Then THEY break it down for real.

Fawn feels a kinship, like a family type feeling about certain people, to which Matt says they are not friends because they don’t even know you!

Fawn says we're all connected, at the risk of sounding way too woo woo. So yeah, this person doesn't know I exist perhaps, but they've touched my life profoundly. And because they touched my life, I shared how they touched my life with my close friends and so they also get touched and changed because of this person. Do they (the person that hasn’t met us) know how they changed lives?

When I tell other people about this person and it changes their life, it's a ripple effect.

My idea of friendship is getting a little bit more fluid, especially in the time of 2020, and the fact that we can't be together. Before 2020, our criteria was that to have a substantial friendship, you had to be together within a close proximity and not on social media, but in real life.

 

 

What are we going to do? How can we define it?

Are we growing as friends? Are we growing together towards something?

 

Matt: I'm still gonna take the hard line and say, there's a mystical connection that happens when you're physically present; physically adjacent to one another.

Fawn talks about how sometimes all she has is a tree to lean on… “I'm just saying, I'm trying to get it (the support of a friendly force) wherever I can find it. And if you think about it spiritually, you're never alone. There's always,  you're a part of everything. Everything is a part of you. You have to broaden your scope.”

Fawn and Matt totally disagree about what a friendship is.

Fawns point: it is about connection. You have to recognize the connection. So when you are in a physical friendship situation, you can say, yeah, this is the connection. You have to look for it, even though you're locked down. Well, if you want to talk about it, as far as it feeling like you have to exercise those muscles, you have to exercise attention to the feelings. You need to have those feelings to live. It's like water and air. You need those feelings. And I'm saying to you sometimes you're in solitary mode and you need to have those feelings, first of all, within yourself. You have to be your own friend. You have to recognize happiness within yourself and not from the outside world. And that's key to friendship. You have to have that knowledge. You have to have that expertise about the feeling of friendship when you meet other people. It will enhance everything because you know that feeling, you know that dance, and you can pick it out from the ether.

THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENS! Fawn convinces Matt to shift his view!  Matt: Friendship has to have a component of effort. There is no passivity in friendship.

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