Feeling Under the Weather

A reminder from Goethe: For five minutes a day, look at something beautiful, listen to something beautiful, and think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well. 

This week we focus on what to do when we don't feel well, and what to do when friends don't feel well.

TRANSCRIPT - Checking in on A Friend Feeling Under the Weather

[00:00:00] Fawn: Welcome back everybody. A reminder from Goethe. Yes, for five minutes a day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful, especially so when you're not feeling so well . So, hi folks. We caught something. We're two chicken to take a k. So we're just quarantining.

We're just hunkering down the whole family. We don't know what we have, but it seems like all the other things we've had before. Honestly, like the kids get sick, It starts with, a sore throat and then their eyes get glassy and then it's, uh oh,

[00:00:42] Matt: and then it's really low energy.

[00:00:44] Fawn: Mm. It's just quiet. They get quiet.

Exactly. Low energy, and then you're like, Oh, I'm tired. I'm gonna go. And then it's me staying up all night, cleaning up after everything that gets expelled from these kids all night long. Thank you very much. Matt . Why are you looking away? Like there's somebody else I'm talking to in this room. Oh my God.

Matt, why do you do that? ?

[00:01:11] Matt: Because I don't wanna accept. Yeah. Anyways.

[00:01:15] Fawn: All right. I love you.

[00:01:16] Matt: I know God, but my goodness, I, I try,

[00:01:19] Fawn: geez. I mean, remember the day we used to fight over who gets to change a diaper? Well, changing diapers

[00:01:25] Matt: is cool. That's easy

[00:01:28] Fawn: ish. All right, so anyway, we're not feeling so well, so this is gonna be a little short episode.

Bear with us. I don't know if we sound different. Do we sound different? Whatever I, we. We here, here is what happened. I don't know. We wear masks until, Actually, we didn't wear masks when we recorded in a coffee shop, but we were fine for like, well, we were keeping our

[00:01:54] Matt: distance too.

[00:01:56] Fawn: We were fine for two weeks.

I, I have a feeling I know what happened, but what are you gonna do? We're in a small town, which is earth and this is what happens. Anyway. So for five minutes a day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful. I wanted to talk about what

[00:02:26] Matt: I have to, I had to sneeze now.

I

[00:02:28] Fawn: don't, nevermind. Yeah, nevermind. Okay, so, um, now I forgot what I was saying. What was I. For five minutes a day. No, we already talked about that. I know. So that's just to remind us that even if we're not feeling so well, stop playing with your mic, Matt. If we're not playing. If we're not, I don't know what I'm saying.

bear with me. Especially when you're not feeling well or things aren't going your way, just remember that for five minutes day, look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Think of something beautiful. And things will turn around. Think about what your end focus is when things are C R A P

crap. (Matt gasps with shock at Fawn using a bad word) Am I allowed to say that?

[00:03:16] Fawn (2): I dunno.

[00:03:17] Fawn: All right. When things are that way, don't look at your circumstances. Think about where you wanna be. A long time ago I was listening to Tony Robbins. And he was telling us about how when race car drivers are in a spinout, is that what you call it, Matt? When? When the car's going and then all of a sudden you spin out control, right?

To not look at the spinning area, but pick a point where you wanna be headed. So focus on where you wanna go instead of the actual spinning.

[00:03:51] Matt: Because

your focus dictates direction,

[00:03:54] Fawn: and that will dictate where the car's gonna go. It's, it will translate. So think about that when things are rough. And then I was also, I just wanted to make a reminder, and I talked about this a while ago, but I read this article, I think it was in Vogue like years ago, about these women who traveled to a country.

It doesn't matter where, but it was a place for vacation. And there, there was , a honeymooning couple I guess, and there was a tragic accident and the husband died and then the government was trying to tell her that she has to sign all these documents while she was dealing with all this, like that same day.

And these two women who did not know this other woman who was going through this tragedy. We're trying to help her and wanted to be there for her. They didn't know her at all and she was like, Leave me alone. Leave me alone. I don't wanna talk to anyone. And they wouldn't, they wouldn't leave her alone.

They're like, Look, you shouldn't sign that. You shouldn't sign it. And it, what it turned out to be was the it the fault with was with something that had to do with whatever agency. That brought them there. Okay. And should she had signed it, it would've, made her responsible for everything and absolved any other party.

So anyway, these women made sure to stay with this other woman, to carry her through this grief and the trauma, even though this woman was like, I don't know you get away from me. I don't wanna talk to you. But they silently and not so silently sometimes just kept on keeping on and they ended up helping her.

And I remember, I, I read this story right before when we had just moved to Bainbridge Island and our neighbor's husband died. Remember in the middle of the night I was totally pregnant, couldn't really move around. And

[00:06:02] Matt: it was a crazy night. Storm. Storm. I think it was storm. Super windy. Yeah, there was. And there was big old trees that were just ready to fall

[00:06:08] Fawn: over.

So where we lived on Bainbridge, it was when it was windy guys, it was like windy and things would just fall over. We would lose power for two weeks. Remember two weeks that one time, Right? Anyway. And no lights. There were no street lights. So we had just moved there. We just made sure that we said hello to all the neighbors.

We introduced ourselves. Matt, though Sylvia ended up calling you? Yes. And in the middle of the night, Matt goes over there to , resuscitate Mr. Palmer. And you know he passed away. He was

[00:06:50] Matt: already dead.

[00:06:52] Fawn: So, um, everybody came. The, not everybody came, actually, paramedics came right? Was it the paramedics fire department?

Well, all the officials came.

[00:07:03] Matt: Okay. So I, I was with Mr. Palmer and we were in, I don't know where in the house cuz everything's dark. It was an old house and over end. And I ended up getting pushed backwards away from the paramedics who. Who really knew what they were doing. But like, I called 9 1 1 and I was like, Okay, this is the situation.

They're like, Do you wanna resuscitate him? And I said, Sure. And I started performing cpr. Mm-hmm. . And, and then the, when the ambulance guys came in, they, it was like I was in, I was in a room and there was like a hallway behind it, but like it was a hallway to a closet in very old house. And so I ended up

fleeing, basically, you know, getting away from the paramedics but not going out the front door. I was caught, I was trapped basically upstairs, right? Without a cell phone with So fun was just, I was in there, I went over there and all of a sudden there's crazy lights

[00:08:03] Fawn: and everything, right? And I was watching through the windows trying to figure out what was going on.

Like totally pregnant. Did not wanna go. Through whatever woods in the middle of the night, of course. And so anyway, we were new to this neighborhood and none of the other neighbors showed up. And then the next day, none of the neighbors showed up. The day after that, nobody showed up. The day after that, the day after that.

And thank goodness that I read, I had read this article, I'm like, Okay, I have to be one of those women, or we have to be one of those women. And so we made sure that we were with her every day, brought her over, cooked our little meals, made sure she ate with us and just made sure we were with her even though she maybe didn't, would, would express, I don't wanna be with anyone.

Right. But she really. And so even if, you know, that's what we did in that circumstance, but when someone is sick, even if it's just a cold, like no big deal. We're fine guys. We're we're okay? We just got a bug or something. We're getting over it. We're fine. Thank you. I'm knock on wood anyway. Um, even when like a few people text.

And it's not the people that are like, Did you take the cover test? It wasn't like that. It was like, , I'm checking on you. How are you? Right? And then a phone call. Are you okay ? You know, like, don't worry, we're gonna like go and do this thing some other day. Don't worry about it. You guys just wanted to hear your voice.

How you doing? You know, it made a world's difference. Like it changed the whole atmosphere of the house. Just a text, even a phone call, a quick little like "Hello!" It makes a big difference. You don't have to go outta your way trumping through the woods. You don't have to go trumping through the woods through a hurricane to ease someone that's going through hardship.

A little message, a little text means a lot. And I think because the world is hit with so much stuff and people feel like they have to make huge grand gestures. I think most people are feeling tired and overwhelmed and, the capacity isn't available, And you think that you have to make these huge gestures and you don't, a little tiny message goes a very long way.

Is that clear? It is. So that's my message. Look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful, think of something beautiful. And when someone else is experiencing hardship, figure out a way for them to look at something beautiful. Listen to something beautiful. Could just be your voice or remind them to think of something beautiful and if they can't,

put something out there, a thought. It could be in a note, that's one of the keys of friendship.

[00:10:59] Matt: I can remember there were points in my life where I wasn't doing as well as I should, and for me, In some cases, in one case I was in , I was in college and I reached out. I was a, I was a day camp counselor in, summers during college.

And you know, some kids you form a little bond with some kids you don't. And I called one of the kids that I worked with, he was a c I t, he was older. I met his parents the whole bit. And I just called him. I was, I was having a, I was having a god awful day and I called him, he talked to me.

We just had a conversation and you know, even just listening to the, the simplicity of his life made me feel better. It's just having an understanding that just because your life isn't going so well, it's not a question of the entire universe has flipped upside down. It's, it's your life. And so, well, it's not

[00:11:53] Fawn: even your life, it's your perspective at that moment.

[00:11:56] Matt: And, and yes, sometimes it's that, sometimes it truly is your life. But anyways, but being able to get yourself away from that and more recently, if I'm having a bad day, I'll just have a conversation. And of course, I'm a guy. I don't usually discuss having bad days, but I'll have a discussion with a friend and I'll just hear about what's going on in their life.

And sometimes it's very, very simple, you know? Oh yeah. You know, I'm going out to blah, blah, blah. My kids gotta do da, da da da. And it just, it's just nice to just know that there's a whole world out there that people without the suck , if you will. Right. And that, that's what helps

[00:12:32] Fawn: me. Okay.

And that's it. Anything else to add?

Well,

[00:12:37] Matt: I just added something

[00:12:39] Fawn: I know. any more to add. People have been saying, You don't talk too much, that I talk too much. No, they don't say that I talk too much, but they're like, they

[00:12:47] Matt: don't say you

[00:12:48] Fawn: talk too much. They wish that you would speak more. Well, I just did and I can see your nose running.

Okay. We better go . All right. I'm gonna go get some hot water. , we wish you well. We love you. Thanks for listening. Please leave us a nice review make sure you tell people to subscribe to our podcast. Thank you again. All the countries around the world that are listening, Oh my goodness.

Thank you. Thank you for allowing this idea of the art of friendship to blossom around the world. We love you so much. We'll talk to you in just a few days. Be well. Bye.