Episode Transcript
Transcript: Be Yourself
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello everybody, welcome back! Quick show today, but the message today, this week, every week, every day, is
[00:00:07] if you are giving and the person thinks you're giving because you're trying to get something, that's on them. Keep giving. If you are open hearted and you're ridiculed or you're hurt, keep being open hearted. If you are happy, And people ridicule you for being happy, or they're turned off by it, keep being happy.
[00:00:30] again, another personal message from me, from this week, because, wow, a few nights ago, I was so, so sad. Remember, Matt, I was crying in bed?
[00:00:44] MATT: Yes.
[00:00:45] Fawn: Which, by the way, you just let me cry. By the way,
[00:00:48] MATT: hello, everyone. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Let's change the subject.
[00:00:54] Fawn: What? No. I'm saying you heard me cry, but you You
[00:00:57] MATT: said you, it, it takes a lot of energy to cry, and you [00:01:00] hadn't cried in a while.
[00:01:01] So I wanted to make sure that you got out whatever it is you needed to get out.
[00:01:05] Fawn: Mmm. If your partner is crying, don't ignore it. And in your head, you may not be ignoring it, but I felt ignored because I knew you were awake.
[00:01:16] MATT: Anyways. I knew you
[00:01:17] Fawn: heard me. Anyways, let's proceed on. From my perspective, I felt, because I was already feeling weird, but it felt like you didn't care.
[00:01:25] MATT: And I explained myself immediately. After I said something. Well, I was waiting for you to say something. I
[00:01:31] Fawn: mean, if you were crying, I'd be like, Are you crying? Sometimes I cry just to
[00:01:35] MATT: cry and it needs to come out and anybody talking to me is going to interfere with it.
[00:01:41] Fawn: So, I was crying because a friend who I have been building the relationship with for like, I don't know, I would say three years now.
[00:01:53] MATT: Okay.
[00:01:55] Fawn: I just felt, I had a weird phone call with her. Totally weird. Weird. [00:02:00] And, I, it wasn't that I even had an impression, I think it was very clear. She thought that, I was after something. That all this time, mind you, it's been three years, we've always given. We've always sent gifts, we've, you know, we sent groceries when they weren't feeling well.
[00:02:24] We. We've always been there, like we, every time there's a problem, we're always there. And I just feel like, what happened was I, in a way she told, she, she, I feel like she was expressing to me that I was after something because she's going, she's doing something with her career. And co, coincidentally, I have.
[00:02:51] been on a similar path. Not where she is. I mean, she's already, gotten her deal. But I had no idea that was [00:03:00] going on, but it's for the same company and I brought it up and she got really weird. And then I actually, I sensed it, so I said, you know, I'm trying to follow our own advice. So the pebble in the shoe, I brought it up right away.
[00:03:17] I'm like, I hope you don't think that I was after you with this company to get your contacts. It's just. This came across my way and I, this is the path I'm, I want to take and she was just quiet. She didn't say no. You know what I'm saying? She didn't say no, I don't think that about you. Anyway, so
[00:03:40] but it's interesting, you know how I say I get messages. And maybe it's the phone listening to you, I don't know, but I, some hours later, I was just scrolling and this message came up on Instagram and it, it was, and I wish I had [00:04:00] saved it. I didn't because it went through all the examples of how you can be, but it can be misinterpreted by people.
[00:04:08] And it, it's the kind of stuff that makes you want to stop being yourself, your authentic self because obviously it's taken the wrong way, but the message one of the big ones was Basically what happened to me? So don't don't try to edit yourself just because someone misunderstands you because of their own issues Right, right.
[00:04:33] She's you know, our friends I think is used to people taking from her And she's not used to people, for no reason, just giving.
[00:04:44] MATT: Right.
[00:04:44] Fawn: And that's what we do.
[00:04:47] MATT: Yes, but see, if you're your authentic self all the time, then you're gonna tell the person at the woodworking, good for you.
[00:04:56] Fawn: Yeah. But then you can communicate or have your partner communicate and go, [00:05:00] You know, he actually meant good for you because he really was genuinely happy that you were a business.
[00:05:07] And a woman A small business. A small woman owned business that was doing well and he said good for you. And I explained, look, he's a computer programmer, he's in front of the computer all day, and sometimes tone doesn't work. Translate. Translate. So, do you know what I'm saying? No, no. Absolutely, babe. Yes.
[00:05:24] But in this case, it was explained and all I was met with was silence and it totally made me sad.
[00:05:32] MATT: But it is one phone call. What do you mean? It's one phone call.
[00:05:36] Fawn: No. I'm sorry. I have awkward phone calls all the time. No. It's, I think it was quite thought out. I don't think it was just the one phone call.
[00:05:46] MATT: Yeah, but people have to swim against the current of everything that they've been shown by the world is part of the problem
[00:05:54] Fawn: Well, i'm just stepping back. I [00:06:00] can't
[00:06:00] MATT: I understand stepping back but at some point step forward I don't know
[00:06:03] Fawn: if I can be
[00:06:03] MATT: your authentic self.
[00:06:05] Fawn: I will but with with somebody else But right now I feel disgusted.
[00:06:09] I know I feel sad. I know I feel You I feel totally hurt.
[00:06:16] MATT: Right. I completely get that. I
[00:06:19] Fawn: can't believe I'm crying again over it. But it was three,
[00:06:22] MATT: you, this is a three year relationship. On one phone call, you're willing to call it. That's all.
[00:06:29] Fawn: Well, she was willing to call it. even after I explained.
[00:06:33] I know.
[00:06:34] MATT: Maybe both sides need to like, go back to their respective corners and sort some stuff out.
[00:06:40] Fawn: Here's the problem. We all have so much going on. We're all busy. I don't have time for it. I don't have time. I already explained myself. So, it's her whatever it is. And I'm not here to change it, you know, I think it's [00:07:00] her journey if she feels everyone's out to get her It's not for me to to disprove, you know All I couldn't do like I said is keep doing what I'm doing But I don't know if I want to keep doing what I'm doing with her right now I'm just gonna step back and I know it's stepping back.
[00:07:19] She's probably gonna tell herself See I was right because now she's gone, but I'm gone because I just, after explaining myself, she didn't, I just was met with a wall and I don't know, the trust. There was something there for me that was, that's now broken forever. And I know we talked about the Japanese art of filling in the spaces.
[00:07:44] So here I go, I mean, I have to find some gold to fill in. This broken piece, and I don't know how it's gonna go, but and it's so it seems so trivial to be crying about stuff like this But I think in caring about [00:08:00] stuff like this makes At least we're working on it. We're working on creating a better society and it's not just I mean for those of you who've been with our show for the last four years Yes, it's the art of friendship, but I think people are like, oh, let's just be friends But what we're talking about is The true the true, what do you call it, Matt, all the things that, that is involved in having relationships. It's not just, let's make friends and let's be friends. It is hard, especially now, it is hard to make friends and keep friends. Because look at all these emotional obstacles everyone has. And when you think you don't, boom, someone else's obstacles become your obstacles.
[00:08:52] So I mean the message again is let's just keep being open And like I said, I don't know if I could be open and [00:09:00] i'm just gonna take a break And i'm not sure if i'll go back But I will keep being myself. I can't not But that's my message this week. I'm gonna be quiet now if you want to continue matt please do
[00:09:14] MATT: see I want to talk about something completely different that came up at the gas station today, but So one of the guys at the gas station Is a graphic artist and he was actually commissioned by, , a local university, not a small university either to design the athletic logos.
[00:09:33] And so he gave him a estimate. He went to a bunch of meetings that it would take three or four months. It took three or four months until everybody was happy. Everybody was happy. Then he sent an invoice. And they said, what is this? Like, how dare you invoice us? Now, the person who initially set him up with the job was actually a neighbor.
[00:09:53] Who's not around anymore. But, um, was a neighbor. So [00:10:00] he had the, what, he had the gall? He had the nerve? I mean, he commissioned, they assumed it was a friendship deal thing, but it was a business arrangement. So I think for me, it's, it's, it's when it is a business arrangement, make sure it's clearly spelled out.
[00:10:15] And even if it is clearly spelled out, it can be ambiguous, at least ambiguous to them because they didn't want to spend any money. And you know what they did? They gave him a special, the woman gave him a special pin, the neighbor special pin and said, you can get into any sporting event, any university sporting event for free.
[00:10:32] And he's like, But I can get into all, aren't all the sporting events free? Well, not basketball, but this, if you go to the executive level, they'll let you in and there's a big spread and everything. So he goes and he's wearing his little pin and he shows it off to the security guard. Who's like, no, he's like, what do you mean?
[00:10:52] He's like, They give these badges out to the kids.[00:11:00]
[00:11:00] And, don't get, don't get me wrong. We howled at the gas station because everybody's honest. Everybody's made mistakes and everybody owns their mistakes. But we howled that moment. Because he got a little kids badge that they gave out by the bucketfuls to kids.
[00:11:15] Fawn: So, is this the woman that gave him the job?
[00:11:19] Yes. Oh my gosh.
[00:11:20] MATT: Yes. So, tricky world. But, I don't know what, I, I wanted to try and tie that back to what you were talking about, but I can't do it. But.
[00:11:29] Fawn: No, I don't, I don't see the tie here. Be authentic.
[00:11:32] MATT: Be genuine. It's a funny story is the problem. Well, I
[00:11:34] Fawn: mean, the thing is that when you do a service, you immediately have to say, what is your budget?
[00:11:40] Right. You have to ask, what is your budget? He sent an estimate,
[00:11:43] MATT: and they went forward with the meetings.
[00:11:45] Fawn: Oh. Well,
[00:11:46] MATT: yeah.
[00:11:47] Fawn: That's why I had a studio manager take care of stuff.
[00:11:50] MATT: Exactly. Hugo. I liked Hugo.
[00:11:52] Fawn: Um, I love Hugo. Yeah. When I was, doing photography full time. I had a [00:12:00] manager, a studio manager that would take care of that, and because Hugo's a guy, and there was never any problem.
[00:12:06] If I said, oh, here's your invoice, they'd be like, trying to Mouse me up and down. But if Hugo ever turned in anything, here you go, no problem, no questions asked, no, no back and forth. Sometimes I don't know anyway, I don't know what that has to do with We're all over the place today, but that's it.
[00:12:26] Be yourself
[00:12:27] MATT: be yourself and afford people the opportunity to make mistakes Honestly and afford yourself the opportunity to make a mistake.
[00:12:35] Fawn: That's okay All right. That's it for now you guys i'm gonna take off and If you need us, you know how to reach us. We're here. Have a beautiful every day. Be well
