Advice from a Friend

Advice from a Friend [00:00:00] FAWN: Welcome back, everybody. Welcome to Our Friendly World. [00:00:03] MATT: Hello. Blessings and salutations. [00:00:06] FAWN: A friend recently told me asking questions is what makes us wise, and asking advice is what makes us smart. That is in sync with what, is what I believe to be true. We are human. We're part of a larger community. [00:00:22] And of course, we need each other. And, I'm thinking about, the whole asking for help. I don't know about you guys out there, but ever since I was a kid, I made the decision. Like circumstances in front of me led me to deciding on the spot, okay, I'm on my own. [00:00:43] I'm going to take care of this myself. No one's going to help me. I'm on my own. I'm going to do it myself. Oh dear. And that's with everything. That's with standing up for my rights when I was obviously in situations where I needed help and I asked for help and it wasn't given. You know, or I was [00:01:00] ridiculed for it, not taken seriously. [00:01:02] I'm like, okay, I have to take matters into my own hands. I mean this is like starting very little, like Feeling like Feeling like I need to tap [00:01:09] MATT: right now or something. [00:01:10] FAWN: No, but like I told you the stories of like in first grade, you know, having some guy kiss me on the cheek grab me and like kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. [00:01:18] And I'm like, stop. And the teacher wouldn't stop it. So I took matters into my own hands. There you did. You know, I beat up the kid after school. Um, sorry to laugh like that. All evil. But, you know, all across the board, Every aspect of life. I told myself I'm going to take care of it myself, and I don't know and it you know You never know When little tiny decisions along the way What trajectory they lead you on do you Matt or is it just me thinking that way right now? [00:01:53] MATT: We get to where we are through a million little decisions. We make every day [00:01:59] FAWN: [00:02:00] Yeah, and I feel like those little decisions have Completely created this life that I have built now as an adult. Well, I don't feel like an adult but you know like years later, but like, you know now We're raising kids and the kids won't let us do stuff for them You know, they've been this way since they were toddlers Me do me do myself. [00:02:24] I you know that that kind of mentality since they were little toddlers. It's like No, I will do it myself. And at first I thought cool Look at this independent, beautiful being. But now I'm thinking, I don't think it's so great because it's now, I feel like, is it getting extreme? Is this part of the loneliness epidemic is, I don't need you. [00:02:48] I don't need anybody. I'm going to do it myself. I think it's gotten to a point that is incredibly isolating and not, [00:03:00] not good. Do you understand what I'm saying? I [00:03:03] MATT: totally do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah, as a society, we're more prone to do things by ourselves, I think, by and large. [00:03:11] FAWN: Is it though? Is it just American society or what is it? [00:03:15] I mean, we were all, you know, God, going back when we first started the podcast, you know, we'll talk about, I hate it when people say, pull yourself up from your bootstraps. What does that mean? You know, I always would talk about like, what does that even mean? But you know, it's, I mean, it's not just me. It just seems like that's pretty prevalent out there. [00:03:40] But lately, whatever I think I know has been proven the opposite. Lately. Dear. In my own perspective in my life right now. So, and of course when you're raising kids that will drive you crazy. Yes. I don't know if I'm making any sense. I don't know if I'm making any sense at all. Like, I almost don't even want to [00:04:00] do the podcast anymore because I feel like I'm not making any sense. [00:04:08] MATT: Well, I think we get so far in that sometimes it's hard for us, particularly when we're faced with what looks like an insurmountable challenge in front of us. It takes a lot for us to turn around and look to see where we've climbed from. [00:04:28] FAWN: That doesn't help me. I know. I don't know what you just said. [00:04:31] MATT: Well, okay, so we are the sum of our experiences, our thoughts, and our beliefs, right? I mean I feel pretty comfortable saying that I'm sure I'm missing some huge swaths of stuff, but there you go and it's like If I could go back now knowing what I or if I could go back to then knowing what I know now Bam, just think about you know, how things might be different and it's it's it's [00:05:00] inevitable. [00:05:00] It's part of growth so but it it's also uh, one of the frustrating parts we have is that We are Emotionally connected to our own lives. Shock of shocks, right? And sometimes we need people around us who aren't as emotionally connected to our lives to say, Hey, check this out. Do you remember when this happened? [00:05:23] Because we lose perspective. You lose perspective when it's your kid. You lose perspective when it's your life. And it's hard to gain that perspective. [00:05:34] FAWN: I don't even know perspective right now. You know, I, I'm a highly intuitive person, and I feel like all of my life I've been able to guide myself. But, um, maybe I'm just feeling the whole collective in general right now. [00:05:53] But I feel, you know how we, we could from a distance say, Oh, we can't have [00:06:00] conversations anymore because, you Group A believes whatever they believe. Group B believes whatever they believe. And their realities are totally different because their truths are different from their perspective, right? And you can't, how can we have a middle ground? [00:06:15] There is no middle ground. Truth is either truth or not truth, but both sides will say this is the truth. And I've been working really hard on really, Like, challenging myself with the advice that we give, really going for it and listening to people who think way differently than I do. [00:06:39] MATT: Right. [00:06:40] FAWN: And I'm not a great debater at all. [00:06:42] I'm not even a good debater. I I can't even play games, you guys. Like, like, board games, or, you know, like, games, like, I can't even do puzzles. Like, um, the only game I can maybe play is Pictionary. But, I can't play [00:07:00] Monopoly, I can't play Dominoes, because I just get so They call me the Wookiee. [00:07:05] MATT: Didn't we play Jenga, though? [00:07:06] Come on. [00:07:07] FAWN: It makes me angry. If you, if you remember, I stepped aside. I stepped I had to remove myself. Okay, point. [00:07:13] MATT: I'm sorry. [00:07:14] FAWN: Um, but I, I don't Now I forgot my train of thought. What was I saying? I I'm not a good debater is what I'm trying to say. So Right now I'm just I don't know if I'm tired [00:07:31] and here I am having a podcast on how important relationships are and friendship is but I got to tell you I feel like I I need like a detox away from people Like, I need, I need quiet, I want to be by myself for a little bit, uh, somewhere, because I just feel like there's too much voice, too many opinions, too many [00:08:00] voices, And having to take care of kids at the same time and trying to understand completely what they're going through and listening to them and putting my stuff aside to be there for them and feeling like I'm not even there for them as much as I should be because I'm freaking exhausted. [00:08:19] I'm incapable sometimes of, uh, willing to go with whatever wild, emotional, or whatever kind of ride they're on. Like, I, I don't know how to do it anymore. I don't know, because I know what's right and wrong, I think, and I can see maybe some mistakes they're about to make, and what do I do? Because then, what, then they'll feel alienated from me, but at the same time I'm the parent and I need to say that's not okay. [00:08:56] I don't know if I'm making any sense. I'm trying to be [00:09:00] speaking in general here, but um, The, the point of our show today is, uh, is asking for help, really. And how we're really intended to be working together because we are a community. We are a community, worldwide. [00:09:17] The whole point of why we need each other and why it's important, it's important to seek advice. I really need help here. I mean, I have some thoughts, but at the same time, I am tired of advice because I feel like I've gone astray from my own intuition and my own centeredness because, because listening to so many people, I'm like, wow, I've been wrong about this and this and that. [00:09:43] I've been wrong about everything, perhaps. You know what I'm saying? When you're open, when you're so open to hearing someone else's extreme point of view, extreme from your own, you, it's possible you get to a point where like, well, God, I don't, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? [00:09:59] MATT: [00:10:00] Absolutely. But the thing is, for me, at least, Whenever I discover a truth that I previously did either didn't have or never considered before because those are two different things for me, I have to figure out how it fits into my worldview. [00:10:16] And I literally, I'm like, wait, hold on. I will literally, in the middle of a conversation, say, Whoa, hold on. I just gotta figure out how this fits in my reality. My reality, or my perception of reality is the more accurate way to say it. But nobody wants to hear me say that. People want to just hear me say my reality. [00:10:33] You just rocked my reality. I need to figure out how it fits in, and I take some time at that moment. To initially figure out how it slots in and then later on I reflect and I figure out how it really does fit in [00:10:48] FAWN: I feel like I don't have the luxury to do that because I feel like A I work slower than you do. [00:10:55] I think slower than you do. Not that I think slower, but I My [00:11:00] frequency is different than yours, you know, like you're able to like when when we're Looking at something you're able to see something in a split second and know all the details about it. It literally will take me 10 minutes to look at something and go what am I looking at really here? [00:11:15] You know what i'm saying? It's it's different. I don't know. But anyway, but you use [00:11:21] MATT: the word luxury. It's not a luxury [00:11:23] FAWN: luxury as in you have more time in your in your processing It feels like you have time to do that. And I feel like I'm, I, I am taken in so many different directions throughout the day. I feel like, and maybe it's just me again. [00:11:41] And my excuse is, well, I process slower than you do. You're way quicker. You're way sharper than I am. I'm not saying you're smarter. I'm just saying, I'm Your processing is way, way faster than mine. So you have more time. [00:12:00] Whereas me, I can, I mean, I was about to give you a list of things that are on my mind constantly, but then I think of yours. [00:12:09] That's why I didn't really give you an example, but then I was thinking about your day. I'm like, well, I was going to say, you just have to worry about work. [00:12:17] MATT: Yeah, and then [00:12:18] FAWN: deal with the kids. Later or deal with the house later or deal with the bills later, but me I'm thinking about these things all at the same time but then I stopped myself from saying that because I know at work you're dealing with a thou Thousand different things every hour So it's not fair for me to say that so I didn't want to say that But I just did because I just wanted to give you an example. [00:12:44] I am thinking about you [00:12:45] MATT: I make the argument that Um, first of all, I might be quicker at doing it, and that's only because I do it, and I do it a lot. [00:12:55] FAWN: I, well, I mean, I'm also doing it a lot, but I can't It's, [00:12:58] MATT: it's, it's like a muscle. If [00:13:00] you, if you don't exercise it, it atrophies. Well, I must, [00:13:03] FAWN: I must have a completely different body than yours. [00:13:06] Well, hold on. [00:13:06] MATT: But the other thing is, is I take the time. The time is extremely important to me. Uh, it's important to me to figure out how things slot together. And the other thing I have right now is I have the luxury of having a, Oh, that's the right way to put it. I have a friend. I have a friend of utility, but I have a friend at work. [00:13:30] So guess what? Who's in most of the same meetings I am. So we're both kind of navigating a similar reality together, and so I can ask questions of him, I can ask for help from him, I can offer advice, and I can offer help to him. So that's, again, that's a blessed thing and that doesn't happen to me all the time. [00:13:53] It doesn't happen to me most of the time. I have acquaintances at work. I've got a number of really good acquaintances at work. [00:14:00] But I don't, I rarely have friends or a friend that I can lean on. So You know, I get to cheat and it makes everything a lot easier because, on some level we're kind of sharing, we're carrying the same burden, but we're carrying, he's helping me with my side of the load and I'm helping him with his side of the load. [00:14:20] You know what I mean? [00:14:22] FAWN: Yeah. I'm glad you have that. I want to say I don't have that and I do have it with a couple of people, but we're all so busy that by the time we get to speak to each other, it's literally 5, 10 minutes and if by some miracle we have maybe 45 minutes, there's so much to cover that we don't cover anything. [00:14:44] It feels like in depth. Exactly. Exactly. So I don't have that. [00:14:48] MATT: And, and that was another conscious choice I made way back when, when I was working from home to engage in and to understand the value of water cooler time. [00:15:00] [00:15:00] FAWN: That's all good. I don't have it. So I don't know what to do. I But I do know that, you know, going back again to the question why we need each other and why it's important to seek advice from one another, I feel like, is it though? [00:15:15] Because whose advice are you getting? And especially these days where everything is so black and white, it's either this side or that side. And when you think, well, this is my belief, and then you hear the other side and you realize, wow, okay, I could have been wrong. Gotten information that has not been the greatest and I've exposed my kids to it Maybe even you know, not even maybe but yes, because I was getting that information And who's really right here? [00:15:48] Is there a right or wrong? In a way, I don't even care anymore I am exhausted But I'll just go back to why it's important [00:16:00] to seek advice and then maybe we could figure out Whose advice do we seek really? I mean, you hear both sides, you hear, you could hear advice, but you have to really make all the decisions yourself at the end of the day. [00:16:14] But the, the point of turning to one another for help is what's really important here. And I'll just go through why, number one, human connection. It fuels growth. [00:16:27] Engaging with others allows us to gain new perspective. You can share your experiences and you can learn from one another, right? Great. That's been happening, yes, but sometimes you just get to a point where you're like, I don't know. Fostering personal and collective development is what happens when you have that human connection together, right? [00:16:52] MATT: Yes. Rising tide lifts all ships. [00:16:53] FAWN: Yes, but Sometimes when you're in the thick of it, you're like, well, the tide is all muddy. It's [00:17:00] not, I don't think the ship is rising [00:17:03] MATT: right. [00:17:04] FAWN: It's where I'm at right now. [00:17:05] MATT: Again, when you're too close, it's hard to see. [00:17:08] FAWN: Well, I'm stuck in the mud, Matt. I don't know how to get some distance. [00:17:14] Number two, shared wisdom. No one has all the right answers, but by turning to others, we access a broader pool of knowledge. experiences and ideas, enriching our understanding and decision making. [00:17:29] MATT: Absolutely. Yeah, case in point at work, one of my acquaintances, which is really not fair. Honestly, I think with not even that much more exposure, we'd become friends. [00:17:41] And he's very fond of me, and I know this, and he knows I'm very fond of him. Life is good. But I've learned things about other aspects of my current job that have been incredibly valuable. Uh, as far as understanding stuff and it's, it's nice when you finally you take off the company [00:18:00] manners as I like to call them in friendship or in business relationships and you can just say, you know, you're full of blah, blah. [00:18:07] And the other person is not going to take that. The way you just said it, they're going to understand the context, the nuance, the everything else, and you can just cut through all the niceties and get to the heart of the matter. [00:18:20] FAWN: And that to me sounds like you have emotional support, right? Life's challenges can feel overwhelming. [00:18:28] Hello? When you feel like, when you're faced with things alone, relying on others for encouragement, empathy, validation, it really helps us feel less isolated and more resilient. Again, but it's, it's the whole point of getting that emotional support. [00:18:51] That's the problem. There's no time. So like even and then even if you do have time, I feel like [00:19:00] I'm not gonna unload my friend It's been a while since we've spoken You know, we'll talk we'll try to talk once a week, but they're going through their stuff. I'm going through my stuff So like in the small amount of time we have I can't really I don't feel okay about Opening up and talking about my emotions You And getting support from my emotions because I don't want it to all of be all about me and I know they probably feel the same way too. [00:19:36] And we get to the point of one of the true diseases, you know, the culprits, the tumors of the loneliness epidemic is that we, we just don't have time. There's that separation, like we're, we're sucked into different worlds and it's hard to come together. [00:19:55] MATT: Right. And that's why you need to find areas that are the crossroads. [00:19:59] And [00:20:00] sometimes it's not about, for me growing up, it was never about somebody being able to. Connect with deeply spiritually emotionally ask advice offer advice to that was never what it was about for me When I was when I was young it was about having somebody see me and not See me as something negative because that's so much of what I dealt with and so I'll point you at my lovely Algonquin roundtable, which is of course the gas station the crossroads of humanity [00:20:37] if we know you You're gonna Leave the gas station feeling a little bit taller than you did when you walked in. Because this world is so isolating, because this world is so, can be so lonely. But you get recognized, you get called by name, you know, or just a tip of the hat, and you walk a little [00:21:00] taller and sometimes that's enough of a social interaction. [00:21:03] FAWN: Yeah, but I feel like I need more collaboration, like, collaboration. That enhances creativity in life. Working together sparks innovation, right? And you're right. [00:21:14] MATT: But you also need the other stuff. [00:21:17] FAWN: I know, but [00:21:18] MATT: And everything builds on everything. It's about momentum. It's about [00:21:21] FAWN: But when you're feeling such overwhelm Right. You're gonna need more than that. [00:21:25] MATT: You're right. But it's a good place to start. It's better than not having it. [00:21:32] FAWN: I just feel like solutions need to be made, created. And Sometimes you're on such a, you feel like, such a deadline, it's such a terrible word, I hate that word, or term, deadline. [00:21:48] But you feel so, [00:21:49] MATT: pressure? [00:21:51] FAWN: Yeah, there's this pressure, there is this urgency, is what I wanted to say, to create a solution. [00:22:00] Right. And we need each other. Yes, we do. Like, I need you, but I can't talk to you about the whole situation. Because there's no time. Because [00:22:10] MATT: there's no time. [00:22:11] FAWN: And also, sometimes you just can't make sense of things. So how do you even put it into words? [00:22:18] MATT: Because, [00:22:18] FAWN: because we don't live in a community, you know, most of our friends are spread out around the world, so it's not like they see you day to day, so you have to explain everything, and by the time you're explaining something, gotta go, time's up, right? [00:22:33] And then there's the whole idea of accountability through community. Turning to others for advice or guidance. Because it creates a sense of accountability, encouraging us to stay committed to our goals and values, right? Yeah, but what if all that is muddied right now? [00:22:50] MATT: It is. You have to present as clearly as you can. [00:22:54] You need to be able to accept whatever limited assistance you can [00:23:00] get with your heart. [00:23:02] FAWN: It just seems like all this advice is not working for me. But I'm gonna talk about it anyway. So to, to just keep going, like, why? Why? Why it's good to turn to one another. You know, there's also the power of belonging, like what you said at the gas station. [00:23:20] Because we are social creatures. Yeah. It's so important to feel needed and valued in a community. It strengthens our mental health and you have a sense of purpose in life. You know, I fit in here, right? [00:23:37] MATT: It's, yes, I suppose. It's not even necessarily fitting in. It's just being recognized in a, under a positive light. [00:23:50] FAWN: And that positive light may not be seen. All the time. Like, you know, they say learn through diversity. We've said that [00:24:00] too. Learn through diversity. Interact with individuals from various different backgrounds, different thoughts, challenge your assumptions, expand your world view, so you have a deeper sense of empathy, right? [00:24:15] Well, what if my empathy is not necessarily met? I'm the one who is exploring the other side. What do I do then? And what do I do for my kids who feel like their empathy is not met? Even if they're doing something where I feel like oh, honey ten years from now I don't think you're gonna be believing what you're believing right now. [00:24:37] But if I tell you that then I'm the enemy [00:24:41] MATT: Right because in that instance when you're when it's a mentor mentee relationship Sometimes it's it's important for you to show and not tell [00:24:50] FAWN: Yeah, and I've been trying, but honestly, I just feel like I'm failing you guys. I don't know.[00:25:00] [00:25:02] MATT: Well, the whole world is in a very confused state right now. Oh my goodness. Well, okay, probably. And this is the other thing, right? It's not the whole world. There are places where the birds are singing and the sun rises every day. And there are places which are H E double hockey sticks. And the thing is, is we have a nasty habit to focus on the places where everything's H E double hockey sticks and not where everything's okay. [00:25:30] That's fine, and that's valid because you don't want to be an ostrich with your head in the sand, but you also can't be a 24 hour news junkie following every single development and that could possibly ever affect you negatively. There's too much going on Always too much going on. [00:25:47] FAWN: That's why I want to go away. [00:25:49] MATT: I just read an article today Okay, so We record. No, we don't necessarily record that far in advance. So, Syria. No, [00:26:00] we're recording [00:26:00] FAWN: today and we sent the show out today. [00:26:03] MATT: Syria just got rid of a brutal dictator, Assad. Right? Wow, that's really great news. Let's take a moment. People are getting released from prison and from the torture places and the whole bit. [00:26:16] This is all really good news. Guess what we're focused on? Who's going to take over? Is it going to turn into an Islamic Republic or is it going to be a democracy? I'm nervous. ISIS, caliphs. No, let's take a beat, take a beat, take a beat and say, wow, that was a good thing. Take a beat before you want to enter into the crazy. [00:26:42] But the way the world is stacked right now, it's like, no, we need to focus on the terror. We need to focus on the terrible. As opposed to even taking a breath for the good, which is another thing we need to remember to do. My god, the sun was beautiful this [00:27:00] morning. [00:27:00] FAWN: Well, okay [00:27:08] We're getting back to the whole idea of why it's important to seek out advice [00:27:13] Just going back to that, you know another point of it is interdependence, recognizing that We need each other and that's not weakness. So I know I'm crying. My voice is different cuz I've just been sniffling crying this whole episode, but [00:27:34] I hope you don't think I'm weak. I'm just I don't know I'm not weak, but I don't know what I am right now And I'm sharing that just in case you feel it sometimes so you don't feel alone But I guess more of us did that to demonstrate humility And self awareness and then Bebe. Seeing it as [00:28:00] courage to grow, grow past the pit you feel like you're stuck in forever. [00:28:06] MATT: Right. [00:28:06] FAWN: And that will hopefully help us to build a better society. When we turn to each other for advice and support, we can create a culture of trust and mutual respect instead of looking at me like, oh look at her, she knows nothing, or she's just a buffoon, she's brainwashed, and look at her, she's this or that, you know. [00:28:29] Collaboration. leading to stronger communities and a better quality of life for everybody once we, I mean, can we have that, that whole idea of collaboration There are [00:28:42] MATT: whole subjects that I'll talk about at the Algonquin Roundtable because it's just going to be people getting really bent out of shape and upset and hurt and a million other things. [00:28:54] FAWN: What, so explain what the Algonquin Roundtable is. It's a bunch of guys you [00:29:00] hang out with at the gas station. This is just a [00:29:01] MATT: bunch of random guys I hang out with at the gas station, exactly. One of them used to be a computer programmer, so that's always fun. Um, and you know, one of 'em a, oh my God, yes, I, yeah, yeah. [00:29:15] All blue collar, white collar across the political spectrum, rock on. And there's certain subjects that we don't talk about, we just don't talk about. Or if they're brought up, they're brought up very obliquely and it's like, it's almost like it's the price of admission to let the stuff go. So like, huh. So like case in point, somebody was talking about oh, yeah, I was late today because I left my gun someplace [00:29:47] I shouldn't have left it and we're not necessarily big gun fans here And but you let it go or you're like, oh, well, that's... okay And you let it go [00:30:00] because I get so much enrichment from other things, plus I know I can delicately, and that's the key word here, I can delicately ask questions and get answers, and get honest, truthful answers, and I offer honest, truthful answers too. [00:30:16] As the sole vegan, I get asked a lot of random questions. So, yes. [00:30:22] FAWN: You know what gets me when they ask questions about being vegan? Oh dear. They always ask me for recipes, like on the spot. Really? Yeah, constantly. Like, oh, like this random thing, like, how do you make it exactly? And I have to, I write things down, I remember every detail. And then I draw a blank when people question me. [00:30:41] First of all, I'm not a good test taker. Right. If you challenge me or question me, and I get nervous, I'm a blank. I'm like, I don't know. Uh, um, uh, a nut. Like, I make it from nuts. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's hard to It's funny about that. [00:31:00] Anyway, random. Off topic. [00:31:02] If I could just bring it back, how do we create a ripple effect? How do we create a ripple effect of kindness, [00:31:11] A ripple effect of compassion and cooperation. But when everybody's going through their crazy stuff, you're not going to be thinking about your outside circle and cooperating when you feel like you're barely hanging on yourself. So seeking advice, sometimes You can't even hear what is being told to you and if you do hear it, you're like, oh that That just makes me feel worse. [00:31:44] What do you do? [00:31:46] Basically, it comes back to me. I'm like, I guess I have to figure it out myself. So we're at square one. I'll take care of it myself and that's not where I think we should be and [00:32:00] I just don't know what to do. So here I am as your host talking about all the ways we can make a better society and I, at this moment, I don't even know. [00:32:12] I'm sorry. So I'm gonna turn it over to you, Matt. [00:32:15] MATT: Oh dear. Well I've already talked about my circle of mentors that I've been blessed to find and I've, I've talked about my [00:32:23] FAWN: companionship at work. But you guys are very superficial with your talking. [00:32:26] MATT: And yet we're not. All at once. I don't know how you do [00:32:29] FAWN: that, [00:32:30] MATT: It's, it's, it, well, you have to have a good understanding of the things you can ask. Like, I went to, I went to Mr. Wizard and oh my goodness. I asked him, I was like, you know, [00:32:42] FAWN: by the way, these guys all have nicknames for each other. One of them is. [00:32:45] MATT: I don't have a nickname. [00:32:46] FAWN: Not yet. You're the youngest person in the group and the one that has come in. [00:32:50] MATT: But anyways, Mr. Wizard is the wise voice in the group. Years and years in the insurance business, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, anyways. But I needed some, I needed some work [00:33:00] advice and I didn't have perspective. That's the problem. Cause I was too emotionally connected and I realized I was too emotionally connected. [00:33:07] And so I was like, you know what, do I need to just shoot over my boss's head? And he's like, you'd never, ever, ever do that. And he was right. Shockingly, not shockingly, because he's Mr. Wizard, but that's just it. People will offer you the advice that they can. And from the words of that silly sunscreen song from forever ago, which was the guy's speech that he gave, then he's like, and always trust me, always wear sunscreen. [00:33:34] But he said, Be careful with people whose advice you buy and be gentle with the advice you take. It's important. People, everybody wants to offer advice and if you let them, if you let them in enough for them to offer advice. We could go to a random place that had, has a captive market, be it, you [00:34:00] know, maybe sitting in a fast food restaurant or maybe at a coffee place or, and we could ask somebody for advice. [00:34:05] Okay. And I've done that as well. I've asked for random bits of advice from just almost random people, but acquaintances. Everybody offers it. And they're offering, they usually offer really good advice for the limited amount of information I give them. But I also don't give them everything, because there's too much. [00:34:26] So, for me personally, if I was to wrap up this episode right now, I would wrap it up with a proverb that I've said many times and I hold on to. If you want to go fast, go by yourself. If you want to go far, go with people. [00:34:43] FAWN: Okay, let's end it right here. Thanks for listening everybody. [00:34:47] MATT: Be well.