"Travel, Friendship, and Rediscovering Passions: Through Mark Twain's Lens"

Mark Twain Transcript Fawn: [00:00:00] A little quote today to start us off from Mark Twain. What was Mark Twain's real name again? MATT: Samuel Clemens. That's right. If you guys ever are in the United States, definitely go to his house. It's in Connecticut. Hartford, Connecticut? We went once. You really wanted to go and I was like, okay Well, it was a whole it was a year long process because I had to get Mark Twain is a great American author and so I wanted my kids to actually read Tom Sawyer before we went because that's a novel. It's reasonably accessible Oh my god the arm wrestling Fawn: But We went and it was wonderful and beautiful Anyway, a little quote from Mark Twain to start us off today, to start us off, can I talk today? He said, the gentle reader will [00:01:00] never, never know what a consummate, how do you say this, consummate, consummate, consummate ass? Speaker: Yes. How do you say that word? Consummate. Let me, consummate. Let me start over. Do you want me to read it? The gentle, the gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can be until he goes abroad. Do you want to read it? MATT: The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. Fawn: Did I say never ever? Did I read it wrong? What did I say? Guys, I feel so scattered today. MATT: Anywho. I was, you know, okay. It's so true. It's so true. I feel like, because I haven't traveled in a long time, because we have been We hardly ever even travel, like, ten minutes from where we live. Speaker: We're I was [00:02:00] gonna say because we're poor. Eww. There's no money. So we haven't traveled. Really ever since we got married But I used to travel all the time even when I was I was still poor back then but I didn't care because it was just me but um I feel like I would go and I was very flexy, you know, like I I would meet people and I could be dropped in any situation in any culture and Immediately would go with the flow. No problem, it didn't mean that I didn't meet some terrible people that were, like, really mean, I'm not saying these people were from there, but you tend to meet everybody, like, other fellow people from your country that are over there. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, what I'm trying to say is, on a faster scale, you're exposed to a lot more, not only culture. Uh, experience, all kinds of experiences. And, you're taking a train, a plane, a bus, you're constantly [00:03:00] in transit. And so, you come across many adventures, is what I was trying to say. And that you can come across some negativity, perhaps. Some not so great situations. I. e., don't travel alone in Greece if you're a woman. Hello? Um, for me, that was my experience. But, I want to say. Because it's been a while since I've traveled to different countries, that I feel ill prepared. I feel like I would probably be a consummate ass. You know, or that's my biggest fear, because as I've been focusing more on friendship, and because of this podcast, because I feel like there's definitely more of a, uh, I don't know what the term is for it, but because I am always speaking of friendship, and I am a human being having human experiences, and I do, I have had since we've [00:04:00] started this podcast, I have had friendship breakups, a few of them. And, I always get scared, like, there are some people out there that would probably say, Oh, she's such a hypocrite, she thinks she knows everything about friendship, I'm here to talk about all of the experiences. The good, the negative, everything about it. And I've been very frank, I've been very honest about it. All of my interactions, right, and taking responsibility for what may have been my fault or, every side of it. I always try to look at every side of it. And looking at this quote from Mark Twain or Sam, I Think about friendship and I'm like after some friendship breakups. It is like traveling to another country when you meet new friends because it can be MATT: for sure Fawn: in the back of my, like we met a new friend, Anthony a few days ago, and we were all [00:05:00] so excited. Like we met him at the same time, the whole family and we all pretty much adored him, right? Right? liked him. MATT: Yes. Fawn: But, in the back of my head I was like, I don't know if I can make a new friend. Ha ha. What if I, um, what if I get hurt again? What if he's not what he appears to be? MATT: Right. Fawn: You know, it's a lot of work, it's a lot of energy, it's a lot of things you have to go through. Speaker: And like I said a few weeks ago, I understand how people don't want to make friends anymore. Mm hmm. Because you, Mm hmm. You're, you're vulnerable, and people are scared, and I think that's one of the big reasons for the um, this thing where people don't really have friends anymore. You know, I don't want to call it the e word. MATT: E word? Speaker: I, I'm afraid to use certain words now because you get shadow banned, so you can't use Oh my god, MATT: what is shadow [00:06:00] banned? Oh my goodness. Fawn: You don't know what that is? No! Maybe I'm misusing the word. If you say certain words now, like There's this, this, there's this podcaster who calls it the panini that happened in 2020. Speaker: He calls it the panini. Because if he says the P A N word, then, um, What you're producing on air Won't get the analytics. You'll you people won't be able to search you like you'll be unfindable MATT: So this is like you can't yell bomb in the middle of a Don't say Speaker: that word right now either But yes, exactly. So like, you know in the beginning of our podcast, maybe that's why our numbers have been down We we say oh the friendship, you know, the loneliness epidemic. I said the e word now, you know what e word I'm talking about You Do you know what I'm saying? So, now I forgot what I was saying. What was I saying? Oh, I don't remember. Do you Speaker 4: know what Speaker: I MATT: [00:07:00] mean? What was I saying? Well, you were going through, you were talking about how it's hard and, you know, starting a friendship and See, me, I just wanted to circle back to consummate ass because I live in this space. I live in the consummate ass space. What Fawn: do you mean, that you're an ass? MATT: Yeah! Haven't you noticed? Oh my goodness! I mean There is nothing I like better than walking into a room that's empty. Very very quiet and making a lot of noise Fawn: Okay, perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Okay, so you guys here's what happened. So we went somewhere outdoors The other day on Friday. Hello. We went and oh my goodness Matt and the kids are so loud Matt, especially And I kept saying Please be quiet Please keep your voices down especially matt because matt was like Because we don't go out MATT: over there. Speaker: We don't go out much like [00:08:00] MATT: Probably for the best. Fawn: Like I said, we don't have much money. So we're always working or Studying and if we go out we were going grocery shopping MATT: Hey We're taking care of like business, Speaker: right? So we went out we decided let's play hooky for a few hours of the day , so we left super early in the morning For like, I don't know. It was like 30 minutes away to just drive around anyway, so we were just exploring we went to a park and it was so beautiful and it was still what, like, 7:45 in the morning and we were going to be back in time still to do our work when we came home, right. But things were so beautiful and calm and peaceful and There were some people there, enjoying the view, and so Matt was like, What do you call yourself? A slack eyed joke. What do you call it? There's a term. A [00:09:00] slack jawed joke. MATT: There was a character, and probably not anymore, but there was a character on the Simpsons called Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel. Speaker: So that's what Matt calls himself. Because everywhere we went, Matt was like, this is, this is, like, beautiful! Speaker 3: Ha ha ha! Speaker: Look at that! Like, but, but Because there's MATT: such an innocence to Cletus. Speaker: And it was And he MATT: knows his inner Popeye. Speaker: It was so loud though, and Matt, Matt belongs on stage because he has a way to project, you know? You can hear him from miles away. And so I was like, honey, please be quiet. Like, shhh. Let's like have indoor voices because people are trying to be peaceful right here. It was a very MATT: calm, serene place. Yes, there was people taking pictures. There was, it looked like a TikToker doing a video of some kind. Yeah, Fawn: yeah, there was that woman dancing. MATT: That's what I meant, TikToker. Oh, [00:10:00] okay. Speaker: Really? How did you? Oh, whatever, yeah. That's MATT: what the kids had to, had to say about it. Speaker: And so, um, MATT: And you're like, shh, be quiet! Fawn: And so, but here's what happens. I'm like, stop, because Matt said he's a consummate ass. But here's what happens, and the reason why I was attracted to this quote. The fear of becoming that. I guess it's good to have that fear because then you don't. Because then you're like, okay, I will, I will collect myself and know that I may be in a situation where my, I can leave my body in a sense and not know how my actions are affecting other people. Right. And speaking of friendship, especially. When you feel like you're above it, and that you are not that way, like if you're not an ass, oh, I'm not an ass. So as I was telling Matt, [00:11:00] hey, be quiet, you're like the typical ugly American right now. What do you mean? Sure enough, we, we all split because we're all looking at different things. Speaker: And then all of a sudden, here I am, somehow, talking to this professional photographer that was there, who had this really gorgeous lens on his camera. MATT: Lens was like six feet tall. Speaker: And it's the kind of lens you see sports photographers use. It's very big you can be far away and get really beautiful. I mean, when you look through this lens, I cried. So here's what happened. So, I, I got enough courage to talk to him because I, you know, we're from the West coast in the United States and the honest truth is that the photography industry is not the kindest. It's not the warmest. It's definitely not the most embracing of others or each other.[00:12:00] And so I was really scared to talk to him cause I was like, Oh man, he's going to be like just annoyed with me or like just, Brushed me away, so he'll probably be really rude But I didn't care so I'm like um What does it look like through your lens? What are you looking at is what I asked him He's like do you want to see? MATT: Heyo, Speaker: and I was shocked. I froze and I think I started to whisper Yes, please. Really? Are you serious is what I said. He's like, of course, come see here. And then he set it up what he was going to look at next. MATT: He had a full tripod, right? So it was like, you know, you kind of, it's almost like looking through like the telescope at the observatory. And Fawn: he had a digital camera. And usually you can see a screen of what the person's looking at, but he didn't, he hadn't set it up that way. So you had to, you know, Get up close and personal. He had to go to the [00:13:00] eye, put your eye to it to see, like the good old days. So, I look at what he had focused on and I for a split second and then I, I, I had to push myself back because just looking for a split second at what he was looking at, the fact that he shared it with me, his kindness, his kindness. Speaker: I had to immediately, like, push back the tears. I could not believe it. When the, the sheer beauty of how he focused in on something, for me to see that. It was so beautiful. Like, his image was so beautiful. He hadn't even taken it. He had just focused it on a flower. And, um, I said, thank you. And then I quickly walked away. And I, um, I went. I don't know, like, 50, 70 feet away, and I had to, pull myself together, and [00:14:00] I, I, I'm like, what's going on with me? What's going on with me? And then I ended up connecting with him again, cause we're walking around the same area, and I went up to him, and I said, I, I just want to thank you, and I immediately started crying. I said, I cannot. He's like, why are you crying? Like I said, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm really touched by your generosity of spirit. I'm touched by your, the gift that you have. Obviously you are very talented. I am, I am in awe of you sharing it with me. I'm in awe of you. Having, allowing me to come into your world like that, that is rare for, for, that is rare for where I come from. He's like, what do you mean? And so I told him, I'm like, you're definitely not from the West Coast, are you? He goes, no, [00:15:00] I'm not. No, definitely not. But why? And so we started talking about it. But, As I was talking to him, I guess I was getting really excited and then you come back, then so we all started talking together. And when we parted ways, Matt was like, you know, and the kids were saying the same thing, Mom, Honey, we could hear you from the other side of the park. MATT: Yep. Speaker: So I became the, what do you call it again? The slack jawed MATT: Consummate ass is what I'm going with. Okay, Speaker: so, uh, So here I was telling Matt to be quiet. Shh. Quiet, you. And while I was talking to this guy, Frank, the photographer, I was so loud, I could hear And so excited, you know, like I was like, oh my god I you know, I became the ass so Karma MATT: but we need to be comfortable doing that sometimes Speaker: no, but I felt bad because I was like, [00:16:00] honey, you're too loud And then here I became that and I didn't even realize it. So going back to Relating this to friendship. You're like, well, I would never do that Stop doing that When you do that, and you don't look at yourself as possibly also being that way, it's a problem. You know what I'm saying? MATT: Right. Well yeah, often times we, we see in others things that are really in ourselves. Speaker: But it's good to, it's good to go abroad in many aspects. To step outside of your comfort zone. To step outside of yourself. To step outside of your beliefs. You know? Like, I had a certain belief about this photographer, like he's gonna be an ass like everybody else that I've met who's a professional photographer. And he, it wasn't. It was quite the opposite. And I stepped outside of myself and realized, Wow, I am an ass, you [00:17:00] know? Or, wow, what's wrong, you know, what's going on with me? Why am I having such a strong reaction? The thing is that, because he allowed me to look through his lens, in a split second, the love of photography came back to me. Because, I don't know, the last few years, I've barely taken any pictures. And any picture I've taken has been, like, ridiculous phone pictures, you know, a picture of the kids, and it's not even great. I was talking to my childhood friend, Farnoosh, and I was telling her that I saw something amazing at night. She's like, well, you should, can you photograph it and show me? I'm like, no way! I can't photograph that. She's like, if anyone can, you can. I'm like, oh, honey, no. I wouldn't even know how to. You know, and I felt so inferior to everything, I felt like a fraud. I'm like, wow, whatever happened to me? I used to be a photographer. I can't [00:18:00] call myself that anymore. And looking through his lens for a split second, it all came back. And I think that was part of the crying as well. Aside from his kindness was Oh my god, the feeling is back. It's like, when you fall in love with someone, or you fall in love, and you think that love has disappeared, and something happens, it could be anything, that makes you feel it all over again in a split second. That love is there, it never leaves you, and it's back. That's what I was crying about, you know, like, and then after that I started to take pictures, even with my stupid, um Old, decrepit, like, phone camera. And I was really proud of them. I'm like, And it's because of one of our kids, because she learned photography through me. We homeschool and everything, but, I'm like, oh my god, she [00:19:00] remembered! Where she was definitely watching, paying attention, because the way, the style, and also the techniques she was using to photograph things in a certain way, that, that came from me. MATT: Certainly didn't come from me. Speaker: Undeniable. You know, but I didn't even say that, I said, oh my god, honey, you have a gift, and she immediately said, I got it from you mom, and more tears, you know, It was an emotional Friday. Um, but it comes back. You think it's gone. It's never gone. That love. And that love could be anything. Any kind of love. Any kind of friendship. It never leaves you. You think something is dead. It's not. It transforms. It gets mixed and it comes back again. It's like the tide of the ocean. Or like a, what do you call those things? The toe something? Undertow? MATT: Undertow. Speaker: You know, doesn't it go [00:20:00] in circles, like you think it's going to pull you away and out forever to the abyss? But it, doesn't it move in circles, like it'll bring you back? MATT: I think so. Speaker: You have to go with the flow. MATT: Sometimes. Speaker: So that's my tirade for today. MATT: Tirade. So, if you take nothing else away, take away consummate ass. Thanks, babe. Speaker: You must have something else to add. Consummate ass, that's it. Would you stop saying that, this is, That's it. On our podcast. It's a family show. When you do the podcast, you have to say if you use any bad words, and I say no, never. We don't use bad words. So you, stop saying that. MATT: Okay. You need to be true to yourself and you have to be able to feel free to express that. Speaker: Even though you look ridiculous and loud? Sometimes you MATT: do look ridiculous, yes. I have, I have some challenging fashion choices that I embrace. But I embrace them in such a way that I won't look at myself [00:21:00] necessarily in the mirror because I know how silly I look. But I am the one who will go out with a pink floppy hat if the situation warrants it. Speaker: Remember when you would wear mini hats on top? Yes. Because when the kids were little and they wouldn't wear their little hats anymore? Yep, I'd have to put them on. And there was, your hands were, , full. So you just put hat on top of hat just to as a means to carry everybody's stuff MATT: to take care of stuff Speaker: It looked hysterical. I loved it so much, you know, cuz you look so tough and scary I do look tough. Yeah, these cute little floppy toddler hats on top of your hat MATT: While still looking fierce. Speaker: Yes. MATT: To me, it's like I have some fun with it. I just am having fun. Like when I go for a bike ride, I'm wearing pale yellow, white oxford with holes in the elbows, orange vest, Tie dye backpack, [00:22:00] serious helmet, serious glasses, serious gloves, and sweats. Speaker: And you still look scary. And let's go. And, yeah, because you look at, you're, you're, so Matt is very serious about biking. everything is very serious. And most other people that are serious like that, Are dressed with those MATT: spandex lycra And like logos Speaker: all that stuff, right? They all look the same But you I mean you still have the shoes and the gloves and all everything that MATT: touches the bike. Yes Speaker: but he's literally in like These nasty sweats in this like ratty white MATT: over Speaker: shirt it is it no it's MATT: very ratty Big old holes and we're not talking like tiny ones. We're talking like six inch holes Speaker: like It looks, dare I say, sloppy. MATT: Very. That's the point though. Speaker: On a very expensive bike. I mean, MATT: It was expensive 20 years ago. Speaker: Yeah. He's had it [00:23:00] for that long, but yeah, but most other people are dressed to the T in those spandexy outfits and you always see them in coffee shops having the cappuccino. Anyway, yeah, I understand what you're saying. Just MATT: own who you are and, , feel free to have, for me it's having fun when I show myself off as a consummate fun guy. Speaker: I also felt the need to let this guy Frank, the photographer, Know how he affected me. How his kindness, how his action. Which, you know, didn't cost him anything. It totally shifted my world. My life, in a way. I had to let him know. And we ended up exchanging emails. MATT: Yeah, he was alright. For sure Speaker: he offered to send me the picture he took. That I was looking at. Through his lens. Very sweet hope you're having a beautiful everyday. reach out to us anytime. We'll talk to you soon. We love you. Thank you so much. Have a beautiful everyday. MATT: Be [00:24:00] well.