Episode Transcript
5 Ways to Achieve Happiness
[00:00:00] Fawn: We're back. Hello. You're back. Hi everybody. Welcome back. Listen to me. Listen to me. We have this bathroom and actually our whole house used to be like this, you know, our whole not house like as in house house, but wherever we've lived, especially after that big house that we owned, whatever we lost, whatever, you know, things happened.
[00:00:21] Fawn: so. I decided I don't care about making the home look like this beautiful, cutting edge zen looking place like high tech and streamlined clean. Beautiful. It is clean. I'm a neat freak. I have what is it? What is it that you say?
[00:00:38] Fawn: I have Matt, O C d o c D, whatever it is. I'm a neat freak. Everything needs to be clean and neat at all times. The jars need to face a certain way. I'm like that. Who cares? It makes me happy and it gives me some peace. It drives me nuts. It gives me some peace, and I feel like I have order in life order.
[00:00:57] Fawn: Okay? But the way I decorate our home is to remind me myself. And everybody else who's in here about the magic in life, we need to remember, especially when we're going through some hardship, or even if you're not, you could be having a good day, but then a thought will come in and you're like, oh God, I don't feel so good right now.
[00:01:20] Fawn: Or you could have a certain zoom meeting, you know what I'm talking about, Michelle? And then all of a sudden you don't feel so uplifted anymore. So I have signs all over the house, all over our home to remind us to be uplifted. Matt just started looking around. So like as we're talking here, let me, I have to flip the mic over here.
[00:01:43] Fawn: Let me see. Alright. As I'm talking to you, just over to the left side of my face are five frames on the wall, I'll read 'em to you. It's nine. Sorry, I can't count. Three times three. Alright. So basically I have these big signs and they're interchangeable because I want people to remember these things because in society these are the things that they tell us we can't do.
[00:02:08] Fawn: So I went and did the opposite have the opposite messages. So they read, one says we can have everything we want. We can have everything we want. The other one is we have love and support.
[00:02:26] Fawn: The other one is everything we desire is already here.
[00:02:31] Fawn: Next row, there are limitless, beautiful possibilities. The one in the middle says, believe it baby. Believe next one is our supply is truly unlimited, so whatever supply you're thinking of, money, food, whatever, unlimited energy, unlimited. Anything else you can think of? Matt Unlimited. Okay then no. What? Tell me love unlimited laughter.
[00:03:06] Fawn: That's a good one, honey. Love. Yeah. Laughter. Mm-hmm. Last row is, it's time to feel good everybody. It's time to feel good. Okay. The one in the middle of that row just says, sacred space. Wherever you stand is sacred. Sacred space. You are sacred. You are sacred space.
[00:03:30] Fawn: Business sacred. when I'm doing something, I'm like, this is sacred commerce. I'm doing, let's do a new way of business. New way of interacting. Right? And the last one is making money is easy. And that came out of money doesn't grow on trees. You gotta work hard for your money.
[00:03:50] Fawn: She works hard for her money. No making money is easy. it doesn't feel like that. But that message needs to be up and we need to constantly look at it. Right. All right, let me put the mic down. Hold on. Drop the mic. Okay. What were you gonna say?
[00:04:04] Fawn: Ah. Ah, okay. So, I came across a message and this one was, someone was talking about, a nurse that, wrote down people's last thoughts. Oh dear.
[00:04:17] Fawn: Actually, man, it was about regrets.
[00:04:20] Matt: Well, that doesn't sound very well. They affirming,
[00:04:24] Fawn: you know, like before they passed their life mm-hmm. She was like, what's, what do you regret most? What do you regret? Didn't spend enough time at work. So anyway, I was looking at that list and I decided to just write it down in my own notebook and I came across it this morning.
[00:04:41] Fawn: Mm-hmm. I'm just gonna read it off to you and I want that to be the message for us today, the message for us every day. So much like if you can't be in our home right now, you can't be in our bathroom, our bathroom has a bunch of these messages. If you can't be in our bathroom, not that we're recording in the bathroom, but I always say, remember I used to talk about this on the show all the time.
[00:05:00] Fawn: My conference room is the bathroom. I don't know what it is about the bathroom, but that's where I get all my inspiration. I'm sitting there, I'm like,
[00:05:09] Matt: oh my. That's where I typically release things,
[00:05:10] Fawn: but Okay. I always get the best ideas in the bathroom, so it's my conference room. Like I'll say I gotta go to the conference room.
[00:05:17] Fawn: I have business.
[00:05:19] Matt: Are you like The Fonz?
[00:05:22] Fawn: Oh my God, you're right. Happy days. Fonzie's office was the bathroom. Oh my God, I totally forgot. Quick shout
[00:05:31] Matt: out to
[00:05:31] Fawn: Henry Winkler. Oh, Henry Winkler. I love him so much. What a good person. Anyway. Okay, so in my notebook, this is what I wrote down. There are, let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 things. It's funny because a while back we did the five people that should be around us, or the five people to have around you. Mm-hmm. These are the five things. Five things to remember, guys, let yourself be happier. Allow yourself to be happier. Number two, stay in touch with friends.
[00:06:02] Fawn: If you don't have friends, be wild. Go out there and make some friends who caress. I hear so many people say, I have enough friends, and they really don't. They're not who they think they are. They're not true, true friends. Do you know what I'm saying? There's
[00:06:17] Matt: Interesting lines to be drawn, but I think once you make a real deep friendship, Then you start to understand in the same way that, it feels like when you, oh, you have a crush on someone in elementary school, or you have a boyfriend or girlfriend in elementary school or middle school, not the same.
[00:06:38] Matt: There's a maturity. There's a depth that needs to happen within yourself and within them. And once you see what it can be, when it finally clicks over and you find that deeper relationship, boom.
[00:06:50] Fawn: Two years ago we did a podcast talking about how I reached out to a friend of mine from high school mm-hmm.
[00:06:58] Fawn: Because we had a guest on that had the same name Making Friends with Money was the name of the show We briefly, talked about staying in touch with old friends or someone you knew way back then.
[00:07:09] Fawn: And I think what people were thinking about was, I wish I would've kept in touch with this person. So I wrote stay in touch with friends. What it is, is sometimes there's some people. That maybe you should reach out to again. If you feel uplifted about it.
[00:07:24] Fawn: Mm-hmm. When you think of them, reach out to them. I've done that a few times. I did it with Martine I Googled her name after what? 20 years? More than 20 years. More than 20 years. You guys. I called her. She picked up the phone landline. And she immediately was like, fawn, I thought I saw you two weeks ago. And we live in opposite ends of the country.
[00:07:54] Fawn: It was like, there was no time that had gone by. It was amazing anyway, and we're now in touch fully. back then, when we were doing that podcast, I reached out to a friend and I'm so glad I did. Because she remembered my spirit that I had forgotten about, and I remembered certain things about her that she needed to remember.
[00:08:17] Fawn: It's like we are each other as witnesses, much like, you're my witness, you're my partner, Matt. So like we've had so many bizarre things happen. Mm-hmm. We've witnessed it together.
[00:08:26] Matt: Yes, we have.
[00:08:27] Fawn: So we can't have anyone say, oh, you're lying, and that didn't happen. And we're like, oh no. Yes it did. Matt was there with me.
[00:08:37] Fawn: You know, I'm, I'm, yeah. Usually I'm off the wall. I'm like, fantastical, you know? Mm-hmm. And Matt is very logical, but when Matt says, oh no, I was standing right there. This is what happened. Then people were like, oh, really? Do you know what I'm saying? You don't have to argue and defend yourself all the time.
[00:08:55] Fawn: Right. But it's not just about that. It's just so good too. Reach out to people who have witnessed things with you not to relive, but to regain that sense of power about yourself that you may have forgotten about. Maybe you need that power back of how you were before it was snuffed out by life.
[00:09:15] Fawn: You know what I'm saying? Yes. So stay in touch with friends. Number three. Oh, I love this one. Have the courage to express your feelings in every way in business, I would go to major meetings with humongous architects and city planners, and I was blown away by how shy people were. These were powerful people too scared. To state their opinions. And just the other day we were talking with someone talking about the possibility of them being a guest on our show. And I said, I think this is what we should talk about. They didn't wanna do it because they didn't want to.
[00:09:56] Fawn: They felt like it was a loaded topic and they didn't want to get in trouble. They didn't want it to affect them somehow. Like people say, well, I don't like what you said. Right, right. Because they don't wanna lose business. It's true. It
[00:10:11] Matt: is true and something people spend an awful lot of time thinking about for sure.
[00:10:15] Fawn: But I find that, well, maybe because I have nothing to lose, but I'm like, I'm just gonna tell you how I feel. And usually when I do, oh, almost mostly, most of the people in the room feel the same way and I can feel a sigh of relief immediately from people. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm freaked out.
[00:10:33] Fawn: I freak out about what I say. Mm-hmm. I'm like, oh, oh, here we go. I'm gonna get in trouble. Well then later someone will stop me and say, thank you. Thank you for saying that, because it led to this, you know? Right.
[00:10:45] Matt: Right. And in point of fact, if I'm interviewing for a position, it seems like the further out, the more Matt, they get to see and hear, the happier I am.
[00:10:55] Matt: If things go well to go and be with them because they know who I am. And if things don't go well, things don't go well. But you know what? Things probably weren't gonna go well anyways.
[00:11:05] Fawn: And even if we disagree, even if it doesn't go well, if you have a good heart, you can still say something. But if you have a good heart, it won't offend someone.
[00:11:15] Fawn: Right. And, and honestly, unless it's, and if they, if it does, it's their problem. Right.
[00:11:19] Matt: And I've made good. Friends, you know, work friends, but friends with people who are very different than me, and we can get very close just by honesty is the common denominator.
[00:11:33] Fawn: So, but like, have the courage to express your feelings.
[00:11:38] Fawn: I don't feel good today. You know what, today I feel like something's up in the air. I'm, I'm, I'm picking up my intuition says such and such. To some of my friends who are conservative, they're like, oh boy, here she goes. But they're totally like feeling me. Mm-hmm. They, it, their uncomfortableness that I'm sensing isn't that they think I'm crazy.
[00:12:00] Fawn: They actually put some trust in me. So they're like, oh, oh, you, I've noticed it now with her, like when she feels this, usually something is up. Right. So, I'll express my feelings. I'll express my feelings to our kids. Hey. I'm tired. I'm not very optimistic right now. I feel like I'm gonna have a tantrum.
[00:12:20] Fawn: I feel like I'm gonna have a tantrum in those cases, when I express my feelings, they totally understand and I feel like we bond because they realize a, I'm showing them an example of like, look, I'm not in the best mood right now and I'm expressing it to you. I'm not, I'm not giving you a bunch of trash.
[00:12:39] Fawn: I'm not hitting you with. Negativity. I'm just saying in my own personal space, you guys, I'm, I feel like I don't feel so good right now. Right? And then they respect that, and then they wanna help. You know what I'm saying? And then we end up laughing about it later, but it's released. I was brave enough to express my feelings.
[00:12:56] Fawn: How many times? Like for example, you're afraid to express your feelings when someone doesn't feel good to you on the street, but you don't wanna be rude, you end up getting mugged by this person. Express your feelings like, Hmm, don't mess with me. You know what I'm saying? You don't have to say anything, but know your feelings.
[00:13:14] Fawn: And express your feelings to yourself. Yeah. And this is, and go, you know what? No, I don't feel good right here. I need to step in the store for a second. This is
[00:13:22] Matt: a subject that we're going to be talking about again. Mm-hmm. In the context of a lot of things. This, this is a big
[00:13:28] Fawn: stretcher for sure. I have the courage to express your feelings, all of it.
[00:13:33] Fawn: Alright. Number four. Don't work so hard. I'm talking to America especially, weren't we just talking about it on another show? We don't take vacations. Most of us do not. One, we can't afford it. Two, we feel like we'll lose our jobs if we take time off. A week. And most people don't even have that. Two weeks, and then I hear about Europeans having a whole summer off.
[00:14:00] Fawn: What I forgot about that. I'm like, oh man, all we do is work, work, work, work, work. We work so hard. And speaking for myself, I put my career on hold. I'm like, okay, well my husband Matt makes all the money, so I'm just gonna, I'm not really doing anything. Meanwhile, I, I, I sleep, what? Six hours if I'm lucky.
[00:14:22] Fawn: A day I get up, I'm cleaning, I'm rushing, I'm, I'm delivering, I'm teaching. I am fixing, I am making calls. I am taking care of so many things and I feel guilty 'cause I'm not doing anything. 'cause I'm not making money. I'm working hard and I don't feel like I am. 'cause I feel guilty. Or I feel like I need to work.
[00:14:46] Fawn: I need to constantly do something to get ahead and I just feel stuck working so hard For what? Just today. That's another show. But I would like to talk about just, you know, I would like to talk about doing nothing 'cause that is the best thing you can do sometimes. Last one, number five. Live your true life, not what others expect from you.
[00:15:13] Fawn: I feel like I did this early, early, early on in my, my life. So I don't even understand what do you mean people expect you to? I understand parents want their kids to be lawyers and stuff, right? Yes. But like you end up spending all this money going to school and then you end up being one of those doctors that doesn't really care and you're hurting society.
[00:15:35] Fawn: But if you're following your passions, you are helping people. You're passionate, you're bringing love into it. I don't understand. Don't do it any other way. Just live your life. Live your true life, not what others expect from you,
[00:15:51] Matt: right? Absolutely. Adam Smith, wealth of Nations talked about creating a work environment where people get paid, and that's the only reason why people are gonna work.
[00:16:02] Matt: And this was at the dawn of the Industrial Revolution. And you know what? If you're paying people to perform a mundane task, They're gonna do it and they're gonna do it badly. They're only gonna do it as good as they have to to keep their job. Whereas if you create meaning, if you create a sense of community and belonging, all of a sudden you get past the initial requirement of this is how much I need to live, people don't care about money.
[00:16:33] Matt: It's not solely about money as Adam Smith postulated in the wealth of Nations. So absolutely, you need to live your best life,
[00:16:42] Fawn: not what others expect of you. Exactly. Well, that's it for today. Well, okay then did you have something in your notes that I saw you writing something
[00:16:52] Matt: down. I just, I always write things, little things down.
[00:16:54] Matt: What'd you write
[00:16:54] Fawn: down? Just stuff. See you do that and then I turn everything off. You're like, oh, I had things to say. I'm good. Thank you. The woman stopped me. That's
[00:17:04] Matt: right. I've silenced.
[00:17:10] Fawn: Please. Anyway, do you, do you have something to say? I'm good. Alright. He's good. You heard it here. I'm not stopping you.
[00:17:20] Matt: Okay. Then Live your best life. Thank you so
[00:17:22] Fawn: much. All right. Okay. Love is winning. Be well. Love is winning. Yes. Say it.
[00:17:31] Matt: Love is
[00:17:32] Fawn: winning. No, not, no. Love is winning. Alright guys. We love you.
[00:17:40] Fawn: You love me, right? I love you. Love is winning. Love you, love you. Love you. Okay. Alright. We'll talk to you in a few days. Write to us, contact us, send us some good thoughts. We're sending you good thoughts. Talk to you in a few days. Be well. Bye.
