What is an inner compass and how do we have strength in that?
This episode continues our series for teens with our friend Maya Holland, founder of Tools for Teens, a meditation-based healing service that provides teenagers with ways to navigate personal and social matters through the use of energy medicine. To sign up for privates, group classes and read her blog about attending University in London, visit mayasimone.com Website: mayasimone.com Email: [email protected] Instagram: @maya.holland
If you enjoy our show, please contribute by leaving us a little something, or a big something ;)
The Inner Compass – TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, everybody. We are back we're back.
[00:00:04] Matt: Hello? Hello. Good morning. Good evening.
[00:00:07] Fawn: All of it. Hello at all times in all places. Yeah. And all dimensions. Hey everybody. Guess who's here. Maya Holland is here. Hi Maya. Hi. Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. All over again. Here we go again. Um, you know, when I say goodbye, we've done this for years, the kids grew up like this.
We never say have a nice day because when I was working, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas and this beautiful person who was a swami at the end of our, our Workday, I was like, okay, have a nice day when we were going towards separate areas and he's like Fawn,
no, like I got so scolded, spiritually. Um, he was so wonderful, but [00:01:00] he was like, don't ever say that to someone you're condemning someone to just having one day of good. Don't you ever say that? I'm like, never again. So he taught me to say, and this is how our girls talk. Whenever we say, see you later, or bye.
They say have a beautiful every day, have a good every day. Oh, that's so cute. We never say it. We never say it. And just the, um, the opposite of the plural, you know, in the, just the one thing, SINGULAR is what I was looking for. Okay. So I digress. The
[00:01:39] Maya: same thing with the question, how are you? It's so loaded.
It's kind of like that. You really want to know who I am. Are you just asking to be polite? You know,
[00:01:49] Fawn: people don't care.
[00:01:51] Maya: Yeah. I mean, if someone asks me how I am, I'm going to tell you how I'm doing. I'm going to give you all the details, but. Some people, they [00:02:00] just really don't care.
[00:02:01] Fawn: It's just a, it's a thing.
And it's just a robotic uncaring, like thing that it just gets spit out. And to me, when I hear that and I can sense the person really isn't caring. I'm like, wow, this person doesn't care. It's just a, it's just a script. They just want to go through something or get it over with. And so every time if I hear that I will switch things around and throw them off their game on purpose, because not to be mean about it.
Yeah. But to just bring them back to like present, please see me. If you're meeting with me right now, I need you to be present. And I don't want filler words and I don't want this kind of blanket curtain that you have up. I don't appreciate that. Now, without saying all those mean words that I just said, I will throw them off. In our martial arts,
we described it as breaking someone's chi, cutting their chi, [00:03:00] cutting their chi. Do you want to explain what that is real quick, cutting the chi, what chi is energy,
[00:03:05] Matt: if somebody is moving in a given direction and all of a sudden, you know, somebody throws a punch, you know, pretend to throw a punch at them and causes them to flinch.
[00:03:14] Fawn: Startle.
[00:03:14] Matt: Their chi has been cut, you know, because I'm now changing your direction. I'm now effecting your movement.
[00:03:22] Fawn: It's it's like a subtle breakup event or. You know, or it could happen in a clap like, Hey, you know, or with one letter, I'll do this with someone taught me this a long time ago with one letter I can affect change and make someone like, be aware right away.
So the letter a, I just say, A!, and it snaps people out of it. , just one time. I don't say it three times. Just one time. There was this one guy at the gym and I was behind him on this treadmill, like three treadmills behind him. He was on this treadmill for a long, long, long time.
And he was sweating. There was sweat beads [00:04:00] flying off of him the whole time. And then he stops the machine and walks away. He does not wipe it down. And you know, I'm a germaphobe. It was a crowded place, but I said the word a and he knew he didn't even see me cause I was way behind him in a crowd, but he froze and then he wiped it down and he came back.
So it works. Anyway, I digress again. Hi everybody. Today we were talking about the weak inner compass, how a weak inner compass can lead you to make bad decisions, and why it's important to develop intuition for this very reason. And so we have Maya to explain, hi Maya, take it away.
[00:04:52] Maya: Well, I think the term weak inner compass, first of all,
[00:04:57] Fawn: I'm sorry to interrupt, but could you describe what the [00:05:00] inner compass is for everyone?
And then what is a weak inner compass and why do we have
[00:05:06] Maya: just like you have a normal compass with north south east west, it tells you direction, but an inner compass is more referring to your intuition. So it's oftentimes your gut. It's you're guiding voice that will say, oh, this is a good idea. Or, oh, maybe you shouldn't do this.
So it's the location from where you make intuitive decisions. And so it's important to have a strong inner compass and a really strong intuition because that's how you differentiate what your gut is telling you and what's just clutter from the outside world. If you have a really weak inner compass or an intuition that isn't very developed, you can oftentimes get yourself into situations that you might not want to be in;[00:06:00]
oftentimes wishing, oh, I really wish I wasn't here right now. And when you don't know how to listen to your intuition or your inner compass, It's hard to decipher a good choice between a bad choice, then you just end up doing whatever other people want to do because you just can't decide. And you oftentimes make decisions that aren't really in your highest good.
[00:06:21] Fawn: Well, that, that sounds great. When you're in the thick of things, as I say, how do you pull it together? How, how do you even come to the point where you realize, my compass is way off right now. Before you get into the situation where you're like, I need to get out of here, why am I here?
Right. How do you strengthen that
[00:06:44] Maya: One of the main ways is through meditation and grounding yourself. Another way is just through practice. If you're, this is a perfect exam. , social situations, maybe someone invites you out to a party or a dinner or whatever, and you just have a [00:07:00] bad feeling.
You don't really want to go, but you might feel bad canceling. You might feel bad saying no. So you go anyway, and then you got there and you really don't want to be there. So taking a couple of steps back listening to your voice. In that moment when you think, oh, actually I don't really want to do this.
And just going with that, that slowly will help you develop a pattern of trusting your intuition, thus developing your inner compass.
[00:07:28] Matt: How would you differentiate an inner compass from like a conscience?
[00:07:32] Maya: It's pretty similar. It's basically just another word, but. It draws more from intuition, less from
[00:07:42] Matt: like past experience or, right, right.
Yeah. Cause typically I would say that if I've been successful doing A I'll probably continue doing that. So, you know, if I've had a good time, every time I've been to a party, odds are, if you can find me no party. Okay. Exactly. Uh, [00:08:00] versus maybe you're inviting me to a party that isn't so, so good.
[00:08:04] Maya: Right. I mean, it really depends on the situation.
I mean, this is kind of an example from my life, but when I'm walking home at night, if I get a feeling like, oh, maybe I shouldn't walk this way, maybe I'll go a different way. I just always, I just go the other way, because. Just with practice you learn to think about, okay, it's not even worth the risk. Just listen to , my little inner conscience
[00:08:30] Fawn: stop and I figure
[00:08:31] Matt: it out.
And maybe it doesn't have anything to do with risk. Maybe if you take path B versus path A something really cool is gonna happen. Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't have to be such a avoiding negativity. You could be moving towards positivity to
[00:08:46] Fawn: a disaster, but remember our first born our daughter, when she was a baby, when she was a toddler, There's a difference, I'm sorry between baby and toddler.
But when she [00:09:00] was very little, like two years old and we'd say, okay, we're going to downtown today. She would immediately say no. And we're like, okay. All right. Well, we would go and some weird stuff would happen. And I remember this would happen so many times where if she said no, and we went anyway, she was right.
And it's not like she, she willed it to happen. It was like, she sensed it and I sensed it also, but I'm like, well, I have to pick this up from the store and we need to go. But each time I was like, oh my God, we should have listened to our two-year old.
[00:09:39] Maya: Your logic starts to overpower, right? Exactly. Like, oh, I have to get this done.
Well, I can't do it tomorrow. We'll just go. And I remember
[00:09:48] Fawn: looking at her, at two I'm like, You were right. All right. I'm so sorry from now on. We're going to totally take into account what you're saying. [00:10:00] And this was our two year old on the outside, but I think on the inside, it's the same thing. It's like, you hear this voice going?
No, but just stop analyzing it and just go. No. All right. And move it right along. No more fighting back and forth in your head.
[00:10:19] Maya: Exactly. There's this quote that I really like, and it kind of applies, it's if you say no to someone and they get angry, that doesn't mean you should have said yes. And I think this is powerful for a lot of different reasons, but in terms of trusting your intuition, it really applies because if you have a strong inner compass and conscience, Someone getting angry at your response, won't trigger you or make you think twice about your decision.
But if you have a weak guiding meter, it's easy to go back on your answer simply because they got angry, which leads you to doing something that you probably didn't want to do.
[00:10:59] Fawn: I'm just [00:11:00] curious Maya, how you would handle the situation. I remember, So many times I would say no. And it would lead to this argument with this person. They would get so angry with me.
And because I was a teen because they were older, you know, even by like a couple of years or. They could have been peers actually, but like it would lead to a fight. And I, there was no way out for me because I was in class with them where I was stuck in a situation with them, whatever that was even in a family where my intuition, my gut, my gut would say no.
And I would respectfully say, no, I can't do this for you or, or no, I'm not going to do this. And it would lead to so much horribleness and I couldn't escape it because I was bombarded by this person. What do you do in that situation where you feel like you can't escape it, that conflict.
[00:11:57] Maya: That's a hard one.
I've been in those [00:12:00] situations before. And when people keep pressing, that's when it gets even harder to say no and stick to your answer. But I think, I always just say like, why aren't you hearing me right now? Why do I need to prove my answer to you. Isn't how I feel enough? And that kind of makes them think, oh wait, I'm not listening.
And then if they keep going, at some point, you just gotta, you just gotta walk away because that's their problem that they got angry at your answer
[00:12:32] Matt: is actually interesting. I was in a situation where somebody would wanted me to do something I didn't want to do. And I described why I didn't want to do it. And they were like, yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but you know, the yeah but world world, and I just said, you know what?
My intuition tells me not to do it. And they had nothing to say to that. Absolutely. Nothing. As soon as I threw out the intuitive word, they just melted away. Yeah.
[00:12:55] Maya: Cause you can't argue with.
[00:12:56] Fawn: Boom. So you were talking about meditation and [00:13:00] grounding and that's probably a daily practice. You know, and you can meditate and once you meditate. I feel like you can walk around with your eyes open as you're walking around and still be in meditation. So that walks around with you. And same with grounding, you know, when you learn how to ground.
You go through the steps and you're sitting there and you're thinking about the steps of what grounding consists of. And then as you go along in life in a split, second, you say I'm grounded. Boom. There it is. But do you mind going through the steps of meditation? Like not leading us through it meditation per se, but like the steps of that.
And what it really takes. And also with grounding explaining the difference between that and what really grounding is and just like how quickly it can happen. Um, do you mind explaining [00:14:00] meditation? Because you know, when people hear meditation, you got to meditate. It's like, oh man, I'm going through all this stuff right now.
Like I have time to go sit in a Lotus position I can't do that right now. I'm in the thick of it. Please explain how, how we can meditate and ground.
[00:14:18] Maya: I think that's a really common stigma of meditation is that you're sitting quietly and your mind is completely blank, and you have to shut out every single thought that you have.
And that's not what it's about. It's about just feeling your body becoming or coming back to where you are right now and quieting and filtering your thoughts. So when I meditate, close my eyes, either sitting, laying down, whatever, wherever I am, and everybody has a meditation sanctuary. So can you,
[00:14:54] Fawn: can you, of course, what your sanctuary is and where it is?
[00:15:01] Maya: the meditation sanctuary is located in the back center of your head. So if you put a finger on top of your head, sort of where the little bump is, and then on the side of your head, right above your ear, where those two points meet, that's where your meditation sanctuary is. That's what we like to call your sacred home. You can design it however you like. Mine is like a Redwood Grove with a little day bed and some pillows. That's where I go and there's no noise. It's just peace and quiet. And that's my space. So when I meditate, I enter my meditations through that location, and then I drop a grounding cord.
From the bottom of my feet.
[00:15:46] Fawn: Can you explain me that grounding cord is
[00:15:49] Maya: so grounding cord is what connects you to the Earth's resonance. It's how you plant your feet on the ground, basically. It can really [00:16:00] look like anything. I always use Redwood tree roots, but some people use a golden chain.
Others use a waterfall. It's really just how you connect yourself to the center of the earth. So that's kind of the
setup. And then
what I like to do is run what's called earth energy. So that's also the Earth's resonance just up from the center of the earth, up to my hips, and then just intend that, that flow keep going.
Then I channel my life force energy, which is my signature energy. Everybody has that. And it really all depends where I want to go with the meditation. Sometimes I'll look at my chakras if they're out of balance. And I let my body guide where I want it to go. That's
how it looks
[00:16:49] Fawn: it can happen in a split second.
I'm very fast with things. Matt is always all my case about, it's not about being fast. But I'm like, how can I do it in a split second? Go on.
[00:16:59] Matt: Yeah. [00:17:00] But see, I totally hear everything you're saying I'm much more of a, at least initially I was certainly much more of a tangible person. And I drew my inspiration from Winnie the Pooh. Pooh had a thinking spot and that's where he would go to think.
And I think of meditation. As thinking, I don't think of it as meditation or quieting. I think about it as I'm thinking on a given subject maybe. And so I would have a thinking spot. And in college I had my thinking spot and here's the irony. It was in a Redwood forrest. I could smell the earth. I would go there and I would think my great thoughts.
Right. But it was all very physical and very tangible. So all these things you're discussing doing in your head in a spiritual way, as far as this is how. That was physically where I started. I physically would go to my thinking spot, think my great thoughts have my whatever it was quiet my head, [00:18:00] get out, certainly disconnect from, what was my current reality, which I think honestly is a big part of meditation.
It's, it's a way of almost stepping outside of yourself and taking an objective view.
[00:18:11] Fawn: And it's very interesting because you had, you physically had your meditation sanctuary space. Your meditation sanctuary was you were in it physically, but if you're in a disgusting, ugly classroom, surrounded by some ugly.
You know, you can, you can have that meditation sanctuary wherever you go and surround yourself with that. And that's the beauty of meditation, right? Not everybody is in that Grove of redwoods, you know, in physical, real reality life; in physical life. Right.
[00:18:46] Matt: I just consider that as it was a helpful place to begin
[00:18:49] Fawn: from.
No, that's a beautiful place. That's what we strive for. It's just interesting. You always start from the physical.
[00:18:56] Matt: Well, I like
[00:18:58] Maya: Right a [00:19:00] lot of people need that. And that's why, for some people playing chess is a form of meditation going on a hike.
[00:19:09] Matt: Well, yeah, walking meditations, there are certain Christian groups where that's what you do.
You actually walk through a maze.
[00:19:17] Maya: Right.
[00:19:17] Matt: And, or the Catholics, the stations of the cross, you walk to every single station of the cross while thinking about what happened to JC or
[00:19:26] Fawn: just being present and just feeling every step and being completely in the now.
[00:19:34] Maya: Exactly. And that's what the actions are about.
It's about coming back to where you are right now. You're not living in the past. You're not dwelling and thinking about the future. You're just in the present moment and through meditation, whatever that may be, whether it's actually meditating or whether it's going to a forest, that is how we become so grounded.
[00:19:58] Fawn: Can you explain why [00:20:00] it's so important to be grounded? And I love, I love the whole grounding thing. Like I said, I never would feel grounded unless I was sparring in a dojo. Okay. Being an immersed in the martial arts, because I had to completely not only be present. And have everything just lined up, like how we were saying, like the inner compass was right there.
Everything was balanced, but the sense of grounding was there because I needed to make sure I was energetically, aligned and rooted enough to not be knocked off my feet, you know, to be. Even if I was knocked off my feet, I was still so centered where you couldn't move me. Do you know what I mean?
And the beauty of grounding and also earthing,
you're connecting to the Earth's vibration, the magnetic field.
[00:20:58] Maya: Right. And being [00:21:00] grounded is so important because it allows your body to operate from a place of clear intuition and personal power. So you're not, you know, Willy nilly thoughts all over the place. Scatterbrained like head in the clouds is a great sign of being ungrounded. , you know where you are right now.
[00:21:19] Fawn: You know, there used to be this commercial a long time ago for a drink and it would show all these people walking sideways.
Their bodies weren't straight up and down, but they were like walking, everyone was sideways and they were walking that way. And they were saying, if you drink this drink, you'll like, boom. They're like, sorry. Walking straight. For me, when a long time ago they were teaching me to be grounded.
I had a problem with touching the earth. I was like, Ooh, no, it's polluted. And no. And then I started to actually go through the steps of grounding and it felt like. [00:22:00] The those commercials I would see. Cause I felt like, oh, and it's what we learned in martial arts. Like, you know, you have this very skinny, old person sticking out their arm, but if you're grounded, they can't move your arm.
You're immovable. And that's what I experienced in grounding. And, and whereas where I was like, ewww, I don't want to go in the earth. I can't breathe. Like I had all these reactions to it. But when I saw myself rooted to the core of the earth. I have felt immensely powerful and calm. It could just be a simple, quick image in a split second from, for me ground, but that's grounding, right?
[00:22:45] Maya: Yeah. And to connect that back to intuition, it's the basis of all the work that not only I do in my class, but also just meditation energy medicine in general, that's the [00:23:00] foundation. And so when we're grounded, that's when we make our best and most highly intuitive decisions.
[00:23:08] Fawn: Can you, we.
Can you once again, give us a quick takeaway for grounding,
[00:23:15] Maya: definitely. So I would say if I'm not going to do a meditation,
[00:23:21] Fawn: let's do both. Let's do the quick, like quick, not a whole meditation, but like some steps let's do a book quick meditation, quick grounding quick quantitation, and all this results in having a strong inner compass.
Yeah. Right. Okay. Ready. Okay.
Quick note, everybody, before you do this, do not drive. Make sure you enter safe spot. Here we go.
[00:23:51] Maya: So everybody that's listening, get comfortable where you are. You can close your eyes, bring your attention to your [00:24:00] body and the chair or the cushion that you're sitting on. Focus on your breath. Breathe in for six seconds. Hold for two seconds and breathe out for eight seconds.
The slow rhythm lets your body know that you're coming back to your present body and with each exhale release, any tension that you might be holding in your body.
Just draining it out to the center of the earth.
Bring your attention to your feet and just soften them. Focus on your ankles and release any tension that you might be holding there. Slowly. Move your awareness up your legs and your shins. [00:25:00] Softening your knees.
And move up your legs, relax your thighs and your pelvis.
Relax your stomach and your chest
and release any tension in your arms and your shoulders.
Now bring your attention to your jaw and your neck. Just drop any tension down to the center of the earth. Completely softening your body
now on your next exhale drop a thick grounding cord of tree roots from the bottom of your feet all the way down the center.
And connect [00:26:00] that grounding cord to a gold ball,
and you can affirm, I am grounded and bounded in present time and you can give yourself a hug.
[00:26:17] Fawn: Thank you. So that was a meditation and grounding exercise.
Ah, thank you so much. Maya! Maya, please let everyone know about tools for teens and how they can get ahold of you. Classes are starting soon and you do several, right? So if you're not going to do this one coming right up, there are more coming.
[00:26:41] Maya: Yeah. Yes. So my next round of group classes is coming up the beginning of November. And it's going to be a four week series once a week on Sunday. Tools for teens teaches kids how to deal with social and personal and emotional [00:27:00] matters through the use of energy medicine. I offer group classes and one-to-one healings for those that need support.
My website is mayasimone.com.
[00:27:10] Fawn: You can reach my through us over here. There's a link in our transcripts in our show notes, or you can go straight to Maya yourself. , thank you, Maya. Thank you so much. And yeah, we'll talk to you soon. Everyone take care. Have a beautiful every day. Absolutely be well, talk to you in a few days.
Bye everyone. Bye bye.
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