Playground Behavior

The Playground Behavior Fawn: [00:00:00] Welcome back to our friendly world. Let's make it a friendly world despite what's going on where you are. I don't know what's happening where you guys are, but we're trying to keep it together over here. Um, today we have the whole family here. Hi everybody. Say hi. Hello. Hi. Okay, so I was listening to our beloved Trevor Noah the other day, and I don't know when this particular, that's my phone. I'm sorry. E (2): Oh, oh, i, I, I hope you can edit this out easily. Fawn: My phone is on silent. Alright. What was I saying? Trevor Noah, I don't know when he had recorded this. And you know, we. We love our Trevor Noah. Yes, we do. And we respect pretty much everything he says. But the other day he was going off on something that I wish I was in the same room with him to say, wait a minute, Trevor. Hold on. And it wasn't just Trevor, he was with his co-host and they had an [00:01:00] expert on, I think he was some sort of like doctor or something. Trevor was talking about every time he's walking by in New York City and he looks at the playgrounds. What he's noticed is that kids don't play with one another, they play with adults either the nannies or the parents that are right there that pretty much control everything that kids these days or the generation, the younger generations, they don't know how to play the way other generations used to play. And I'm just gonna tell you the things that were said and I wanna give you my opinion and. Matt's going to share his opinion, and then we're going to get firsthand what the kids thought, like from, we're gonna give you our perspective of what we lived through with the playgrounds and then our kids, Alright, so he was saying that the kids don't know how to play because they're so, so overly supervised and they don't know how to, interact with one [00:02:00] another. They don't know how to resolve conflict because you know, you always run into bullies, right? You always run into kids that don't like you or you're trying to share a toy or this kid could be mean to you, or this is what Another thing that got me was they don't let their kids just be kids and break bones. Like the parents, right? Like MATT: you would've let our kids break bones. Fawn: . So maybe in previous generations there was more leisure time, so Okay. You could take the kids to the hospital, you could, I don't know, things were less expensive. Right. I'll do A: that in my leisure time. Yeah, Fawn: no, please don't. So. You know, they were like, let kids break bones, blah, blah, blah. I wish that I was in the room with them because I just felt such rage, and even though I love Trevor Noah and I respect him, I'm like, first of all, you're not a parent. But then the other people were older, and I [00:03:00] think the co-host is a parent, but I think she has really little kids and. I, I, I just disagreed with everything they were saying, even the expert that was on there. What I wanna say is, first of all, if there is trauma, like a broken bone, bones, whatever it is, or even bullies, should we start with the talking about the bullies first? First of all, I wanna say. it's a cultural thing. It's not the parent, it's not just the parents. 'cause I definitely have talked about this many times about how it's the parents who don't know how to make friends and then they pass it along to the kids. Because one of the things we always heard, Matt, correct me if I'm wrong, was Oh, because we noticed the trouble with making friends, like it happened. Pretty much really fast. I don't wanna say overnight, but kind of this loneliness epidemic, it happened really fast, and when we noticed it, we thought it was just us. Maybe we forgot something, we, maybe [00:04:00] we didn't know how to make friends. Whatever it is, we blamed ourselves. But the more we spoke to people, the more we went out, the more cities we lived in and experienced, we realized, whoa, this is something that is occurring in Our culture as a whole, that there are lots of people who are lonely, they don't admit it. And then we would try to talk about it we were told, oh, don't worry, you'll make friends when your kids, get older. They will make friends and then you'll become friends with their parents. And we were like, no, it should really be the other way around. That is a terrible example. Our kids should learn from our relationships, MATT: yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Completely understand that. Fawn: I have, uh, a bone of contention. Okay. What's a word that would mean that whatever. My, I take MATT: exception to, I Fawn: take exception to so many things. A: Why is Trevor Noah looking at all these kids? [00:05:00] Well, no, he Fawn: He actually brought that up. He's like, it's not like I'm standing around in a playground. 'cause you know, adults can't really do that unless you have unless you have a kid. Adults shouldn't be hanging out at playgrounds. No, but it's New York City, so he was walking by looking at the playground. It's the parents who don't know how to make friends, and then they just pass it on to their kids. We were very outgoing. You and I Yes, we were. So I wanna, I'm, I'm totally using the word, desperate to make friends. And so we were always at the playground and our kids were also very open, like our little l. Our oldest was, you know, before our second one was born, she would go onto a scene, open armed, saying Hello. Hi, I'm L, what's your name? And this would happen no matter where we went. It was like meeting the children of the corn. I never saw that movie, but I remember the visuals, [00:06:00] like the little commercials where the kids just stare at you with this dead stare. They just stare at you without any expression on their faces. It was confusing for all of us. And then I would get mad 'cause I would wanna, like, it was traumatizing, so I'm like, come on L honey, let's go over here. Like, get away from this, MATT: right? Fawn: and then we would see so much bad behavior. Like I would see little toddler boys totally slapping their parents, their moms, not their parents, and preaching A: them. Fawn: Oh yeah. And what, and punching A: them. I remember seeing that so often and it made me so sad. And punching them. Yes. And like the parents are just like, oh, it's okay. I am sorry. That's my bad. Yeah. Little to me it's normal. He's just, he's just E (2): going through things. He's experiencing his emotions. And I was like, if I did that with my mom, I, I, I A: don't even wanna know. Oh my God. For real. And then like, mom would turn to us and be like, don't you ever act like that. Fawn: You hear me? I [00:07:00] did, I would scold you guys for other kids' bad behavior. A: My eyes would go wide like saucers. I'd be like, what'd I do, mom? No. And I'd be so scared. Fawn: Well, because I, I wanted to turn it into a teaching moment like that. I wanted to say that that behavior is not okay. And I was also telling you guys that that's how the bad behavior in the patriarchy gets instilled, right? Yeah. Because the boys are taught like, oh, that's okay. You can hit the woman. A: Boys can act however they want and hit women, but girls have to act this way. Look that way. Or else you're not perfect, you're flawed, Fawn: but also you never saw the girls do that. Really? It's always the little boys, right? A: Yeah, it's what I was saying. No, I'm just Fawn: agreeing. I'm just like I remember it correctly. Right? Yeah, it was, they A: can't act out. They have to be quiet and demure, Fawn: so. So I wanted to also bring it to everyone's attention. So yes, I would be yelling at you guys. That is not okay. You [00:08:00] understand me? We don't, we don't do that. That is not okay. I would do it loud enough for the whole playground to hear because I wanted those kids to hear it and the parents. But you know, it, it also, it probably explains why I never made any friends, you know what I'm saying? Because Wow. Well, I mean, but you know what? I'm not gonna stand for that. I was just telling Elle, a few nights ago, I was really good friends with someone, and her little girl slapped me so hard one day, A: like, will Smith, oh, I remember this. Worse Fawn: than that. You weren't born. You remember me telling you? Yeah, I, yeah. I remember you telling me. This little girl was probably like three years old. She slapped me so hard. It stung for like 30 minutes. E (2): I'm sorry. Fawn: It happened in a party situation where we were all sitting and speaking. So the whole room was quiet for a long time, and I didn't say anything because I felt like, well, I'm [00:09:00] gonna let the mom, my friend explain this is not okay. She totally ignored it, and this was years before you guys were born, but that was the end of our friendship. I'm like this because I noticed. This wasn't the only time, like that was the last time it happened. First and last time it happened with me. But that kind of behavior is not okay. So see girls do it too. It's not correcting bad behavior. A: Yeah. Like they say, like you can't tell your kid no, but that just teaches them to not understand what no means. E (2): Mm-hmm. A: Yeah. E (2): And it also reinforces the belief that they can behave badly and get away with it. Which is what happens so many times, as we've seen throughout our lives, like even now, they grow up to think that they can get away with everything, and now you really see it. They genuinely believe that. It's sad. Fawn: And who wants to be friends with that? I don't, I mean, that's. Anyway, so that's qualm. [00:10:00] Qualm, is that it? I have a qualm with MATT: qualm Works. Fawn: That's the word I was looking for. So that's one of the, things that I contest. The other thing Trevor Noah, is yeah, I do not want my kids breaking bones because guess what? Just going to the pediatrician. Just as a colored person, for me as a person of color, it is traumatizing the way I get treated by every doctor. It's different when. Your dad goes with me 'cause he's tall, blonde, European looking. E (2): They're always scared of the tall white men, so they never say A: anything. Never. Fawn: They're very good when dad's around, A: also. Dad's a metalhead and he kind of looks apart. It helps. Fawn: He looks very intimidating. Oh A: yes he does. And it's helpful. MATT: I'm a Puty tat, Fawn: but the thing is that dad's always working. So 99% of the time I'm taking you places. Yep. And so the treatments, you guys have only seen half of it. 'cause a lot of times they'll take me [00:11:00] into another room and scold me and treat me like the biggest pile of garbage. these are the doctors and nurses. Oh MATT: man. Fawn: There go limes. MATT: That was bad. Fawn: I just dropped everything. let's take a moment. E (2): Yep. Quick break folks. A: You should totally keep that in the cloud cam though. I will. That's kind of funny. Oh, what? God. Oh my God. The bull landed on its feet. Oh my God. It did. MATT: What bowl? Let's put the bowl on the table. Kitchen table. What bowl? E (2): This wooden bowl. This. The wooden bowl E (2): or the cy? I saw something roll under the, oh, I see it under the table. E (2): Way over there. What found in the egg hunt is this all. Welcome to our family. Have a nice day. Don't you have a lime Fawn: falling? We have these tiny key lime and no, they have rolled in every direction. I found another one. Okay, we called the cake. Shall we E (2): just forget Fawn: it? E (2): [00:12:00] You guys come back, everybody. Folks. I found another lime. It was by the cake stands where? Oh. All right. I'm making my way back. Fawn: Everybody. Calm down. A: Can I take some more? I'm not a robot. Juice. Fawn: It, it's, it's ELs. A: Oh, can I some more? Fawn: Alright. Can we please everybody come back? I forgot what we were saying. What was I saying? Oh, okay. Trevor Noah breaking things. Isn't that funny? Yeah. Breaking. Was I talking about breaking E (2): things? No, you talking about the doctor's office, how they pull you aside and then criticize you. Fawn: Okay. Even with health insurance in the United States, even when you have health insurance. Going for a normal checkup or anything actually is so much money. So breaking a bone, I mean what like, okay, now we have to take out wisdom teeth, right? E (2): Yeah. Fawn: Um, we have insurance. We have the best insurance. Guess what? We need to pay still out of pocket. $2,000. E (2): Yeah. After the Fawn: fact. E (2): That's a lot Fawn: of E (2): money. Yes, it is. And not many people can. What [00:13:00] was that ASMR? Fawn: So anyway, so breaking bones and stuff, Trevor, Noah and all those people who say, oh, let your kids run wild and break bones. First of all, there's no time to what, so now there's more time taking off from work, which we can't. , There's trauma of breaking bones. There's trauma of the bank account, you know, money and going to the hospital, which by the way, the waiting, there's so much involved. So for a non-parent to say that, it really angrifies me. I MATT: don't think he really meant break bones. Fawn: He, they did that how many times that break bones? How many times in your youth did you have a skin knee? Fawn: A lot. MATT: Exactly. That's what they're talking about. Fawn: No, they were talking about breaking bones. They said breaking bones, so Right, MATT: because you get to the most dramatic point. Fawn: But look, I'm sorry, but doesn't one of your friends break [00:14:00] bones all the time. E (2): Yes. Um, that's okay. So I mean, and Fawn: they're like a normal family. Yes. They're at the emergency room quite often. Are they not? E (2): There's some kind of chaos always going on in that family. Fawn: No, but not chaos, but they're like, you know, it's normal, right? E (2): Yeah. Like I, okay, Alex and I have a friend who she has, ba anyways, uh, she has broken so many bones, like she has broken more bones than I understand. And concussion. Wasn't there a concussion? There was a concussion. There was also a seizure one time. I think it was one time. Well that, yeah. Okay. There's a lot. There's a lot. Yeah. A: I remember one time we went over to Fish's house and like she just like broke her ankle right before we came. What'd you say? Yeah. Anyway, so basically she started doing gymnastics Fawn: with a broken ankle, with A: a broken ankle, and the lump was so huge. It was crazy. E (2): Yeah, she was doing like aerial hoop exercises because she had just gotten enough money to buy one and it just came. So [00:15:00] she showed us what she could do and the whole time we were there, she kept saying, Hey, look at my cartoon bump. Have you seen my cartoon bump? Look at it. Have you seen it? Look at it. Look at it. A: Look at it. I'm about to cry. And so much pain. Look at how fast I can go with my crutches. Fawn: That actually happened and her parents were so cool. E (2): I kept laughing like as Fish was listing her injuries that she's accumulated to you. When Fish was, Regaling mom on all of her numerous injuries. Mm-hmm. She's, she's accumulated her whole life. My mom. Her face. She was so scared. Her hands were pressed together in her heart. She was terrified and it was so funny and I could not stop laughing like a deer in headlights. Like a Fawn: fun in the headlights. So I just, I don't know. And the whole thing about the culture though, going back to the playground is we tried for so many years to make friends. A: They always took the swings. That was the, like the [00:16:00] reason why you go, that's like the best part. Fawn: But that's just it though. That I understand. 'cause you, that's life. You have to figure out how to maneuver around people who take and people who, are selfish. You know? You have to learn how to negotiate and maneuver that's relationships. So that's actually a good thing, A: yeah. It's why you gotta say, I'll push you on the swing and then you push them off the swing and then you take their seat, do an old switcheroo, and then you get to swing. Fawn: You would not do that. A: No, I would do that probably. Fawn: I didn't A: do it back then 'cause I wasn't creative enough. But like, but like, I could have, Fawn: so the whole point I'm trying to make is not all parents are that way. We tried so hard to make friends, but there is something in the culture that is depressed and, anxiety ridden that is so, children of the corn, I don't know how to say it, that look, that stare They would give us and I just, I just, oh, the birds. The birds. [00:17:00] Um, I just wanna say that. There's something else going on. The thing I blame parents for is they don't know how to make friends and they just pass along that kind of behavior to the kids. So what was your impression? What do you remember from back then? A: Well, I remember like being invited to like a birthday party or something and I would just like pick whoever I thought was the prettiest and I'd just follow them around the whole time and they'd be like kind of just running and I'd be like chasing them like the whole time down the slide up this down the other thing. And if there were, and if they went to the swings, I just like stood near them and everyone thought like, oh yeah. Oh yeah, they're playing. Like everyone in this family thought I was playing with them and I was getting along with them until like a couple years ago and I was like, no. I was literally chasing them because literally the whole time I pick like the, I just pick someone and follow them. Fawn: [00:18:00] Yeah. Even me. 'cause I was always on the sidelines, you know, like one of those parents that's always there to make sure everything's okay, but to me, it looked like, they're playing together. They like playing together. And then later I found out that they were ignoring you. That you were just literally chasing them and they were not, it was not reciprocated. The kindness, the fun loving open-heartedness was not shared. Is that right? Yep. So as we're talking we're also texting friends in France, A: that is correct. Yeah. That's all Al's doing right now. That is not true. So that is correct. Fawn: So Al is texting what we're talking about and we're gonna get the perspective from the French side. Can you ask them what. What their experience was like at the playground when they were little. What was it like for them? E (2): All right. I'll ask right now. MATT: I'm just pondering a lot of things. [00:19:00] One of the things I'm pondering is I wanna say, when I was a little kid on the playground, it was all about climbing here, getting on top of this, sliding down that. It wasn't ne, it wasn't a group activity, uh, at least at, on a, um, you know, what do they call it? The jungle gym? The, the jungle gym. There you go. The playground equipment, you know, unless it was a seesaw or something like that, like a two person activity. But aside from that, it was, it, there was always such a freshness. I didn't go to the park a lot when I was a kid, so there was a freshness to it, to being there, to doing that. And I wanna say it wasn't until the later part of my elementary school career that I did, you know, I socialized on the playground. You know, if I wasn't playing a game with somebody, handball, crossfire, whatever it was Foursquare, I, I don't know if I was tetherball. I don't know if I was engaging and, and I wanna [00:20:00] say that when I was a day camp counselor, it was kind of the same way unless like they were playing like Batman or Robin or whatever it was. Unless, and this is the reason why I think parents being involved makes it cool. I think parents or adults being involved, like there was a couple of times I went inside and we held a tournament of the stick and little caram. We'd have a caram tournament or whatever. I think the reason why the kids responded and really wanted to do it and whatnot was because I would be absolutely fair, I think, I think that there's a likelihood when kids play, they cheat. There's the alpha and the not alpha. There's the, so, you know, for parents to get involved makes it fair. Fawn: Yeah. But. Yeah. And in that case, I wanna say parents shouldn't really get involved [00:21:00] because there is no fair. And that sounds exactly like the corporate world to me, is that kind of behavior. So you have to learn how to maneuver that. I wanna say to this day, when adults get involved, they're bringing their own garbage and baggage with them. Like I remember in elementary school, must have been. I was in second grade, yes, I was in second grade. I got into a fight with this boy on the playground, and it was so explosive that once the, bell rang, like it was over and we had to go back to class. Mm-hmm. Everything stopped and there had to be a conversation about our fight. MATT: Oh. Fawn: And it was made into a racial thing and it wasn't, oh dear. The boy was just awful. So we got into a huge fight. Mm-hmm. And they turned it into a racial thing or a cultural thing. And it wasn't about that. The guy was a jerk, you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. And I wasn't gonna take it [00:22:00] anymore. But I remember being made an example of like both of us having to stand in front of all these kids and the teacher bringing it to everyone's attention and how we could resolve the situation. And for her it was a racial issue, but it wasn't for me. Right. Adults come into it with their own baggage and. Sometimes it's not what the kids are going through. Mm-hmm. And you're adding more things to it. MATT: Okay. Well, and then I had one last point. The children of the corn comment. Yeah. I think that something that I've been noticing more and more is that. I like to afford people the opportunity to grow and to change, and there are points in time where people do do that. I think maybe one of the reasons why kids turn into children of the corn is because, or this kind of silent, God, help me stoic face in the popular determination of the term is because kids are [00:23:00] only good when they're quiet. When they're infants, you just want 'em to be quiet. Please, please, please be quiet. And then when they get older, stop screwing around and all the rest of it. And so kids get programmed into them this sense of being docile. Fawn: It wasn't a docile look though, Matt. It was a look like all of a sudden they were watching tv. It was just a blank cold stare that made me shake a little bit, and then it made me feel rage. MATT: Yeah. But I would guess that the parents probably don't spend a lot of, you know, if the kids are quiet, then the kids are quiet. So cool. I can, why don't they quiet? I can be and see whatever it is I wanna be and see, you know, be it on telly or video or phones or any of the rest of it. I don't pay attention to how my child necessarily looks. If, if I'm that style of parent, Fawn: I don't understand. I don't think it's clicking for me what you're saying. So our cutie patootie is going up to [00:24:00] someone saying Hi. Oh my God, your hand is so cute. I like how you do this. My name is Elle. What's your name? For them not to say one word and just stare coldly. I don't understand. Please. MATT: They literally don't understand what to do and they know the safe behavior is to be quiet. Fawn: Oh, MATT: that's the behavior that they won't get in trouble with. Fawn: What do you guys think? E (2): Well, I, I remember when I was a kid, like really little. I would always go up to kids on the playground like, hi, how are you? Oh, I love your hat. What's your favorite thing? Do you wanna go on the swing? And they would always just stare at me so blankly or ignore me, or they would like nervous. Yeah, it was. It was kind of isolating on some level. Fawn: I don't think we ever made a friend of the playground, did we? E: I never did. No. A: Honestly, I feel like kids are so used to each other being like that, that they to fit in, act like that too. E: Oh my God. That that's so true. A: Or maybe it's [00:25:00] because the older kids do that because you know teenagers and they think it's cool because older kids are doing it. I don't know. E (2): I feel like all kids do that, honestly. Now that you mention it. Fawn: So what's the verdict over here from France? What are they saying? What was it like for them? E (2): Okay, so Her name is Mel. Hi, Mel. She said, I actually loved the playground as a kid. Exclamation point. I used to, you don't need, you don't need to include the exclamation point. Can start over. No. Yeah, Fawn: you do. No, no. It's fine. Keep going. Keep going. E (2): Okay. She said, I think. I actually loved the playground as a kid. I used to spend hours on making up games with my friends. It felt like a whole little world, so Fawn: I'm glad. So I'm happy E (2): for her too. That's there, there was a community. I'm not, Fawn: did they, can you ask, did she know these kids from school, from the neighborhood? Did they know each other or was it just strangers? Or is the culture there that friendly where kids know how to approach other kids they may [00:26:00] not know and be welcoming that way? Because my theory is that in other countries the value of friendship is totally different than here where we are. But the world is changing and it's been a long time since I used to live in Europe, so. E (2): Alright, I'll ask, i'm actively texting my friends as the podcast is going. Okay. No problem. MATT: I wanna say most places we've lived in, it seems like the only time a random interactions, result in communication of any serious length is When both people are captive, be it one person's working at a supermarket, or two people sit down with drinks at a coffee place, And that takes us into school even to university, because I would make friends with people who I had classes with. Mm-hmm. Because you'd always sit in about the same spot and you sit near so and so and then there was a reason for you to talk to them because maybe, you know, what was the notes? When's the [00:27:00] homework due? What's the final? Do you have a copy of the syllabus? 'cause I lost, there's all kinds of excuses that you can cook up. To talk to people. Fawn: Whew. So, I don't know. Basically, I, I, the answer I have is not a good one because I ended up hating the playground so much that I was like, we're not going there again. I'm done. Not only that, but it was the place, it was ground zero for Typhoid Mary. I swear like whoever's sick, take the kids who are sick get taken to the playground because they get taken out of school and the parents don't want them at home. So they take 'em to the playground. And then as homeschoolers, when it's time for us to go play outside, we go to the playground and our kids would get sick and one would get sick and then as they're recuperating, the other one starts getting the virus. Welcome E (2): to [00:28:00] having siblings have a nice day. So especially since we shared a room, Fawn: I was done with the playground. It was torture for me as a mom. I tried. I went there. I tried to make friends with the moms. The moms wouldn't wanna talk to me. They thought I was the maid, and then the nannies didn't wanna talk to me because they knew I wasn't a nanny or the maid. I couldn't make a friend either way. Right. And I thought it was just me. But remember, we were on, on an airplane and we were leaving one of these cities and I ran into a woman from Brazil who was a person of color like me, same coloring, and out loud, I muttered good riddance when we flew away. . She's like. Why did you say that? And I explained to her, she's like, as I explained to her what my situation was, she's like, oh, I never thought about it that way, but you're right. I can't make friends either. People think I'm either the nanny or they know I'm not the nanny. And I couldn't make friends with the parents either, [00:29:00] or even the nannies. Nobody wanted to be friends with her either. The thing is, how do we turn this around? We put so much on parents, on mothers. How can we evolve from this non-friendly environment? As teenagers what's it like now when you go up to people? E (2): I mean, they're still a bit closed off, but they're a little more open on some level. Like they want connection, but they don't know exactly how to get it, which I understand because they don't know Now that's, yeah, exactly. Like I feel that way all the time. Like I wanna, like, I'm like, oh, I wanna be friends with this person, but I don't always know how, because there's always that sense of awkwardness, like, well, if they reject you. You know how it goes. What if they don't like me? What if they just don't want anything to do with what I have to offer them? That sort of thing. A: Yeah. And also it's like they never wanna take initiative though, in terms of friendship. Like you always have to ask them [00:30:00] for their contact info. You always have to text them first no matter what. And so it kind of feels like, are you sure you wanna be talking to me? Are you sure you. Just give me your phone number out of awkwardness. Why aren't you texting me? And you text him something and it's just K. Fawn: That's the reply. Just one letter. K, A: sometimes, MATT: or how about so-and-so liked your post? You got one of those recently, didn't you? Fawn: Oh, I always get those when I first got them, I'm like, what does this mean? Years ago when that started happening, when someone liked your text, you know, like you could send them a, a heart emoji or whatever and it comes through as they liked. E (2): Yeah. I do that with my friends all the time. Like, we're always sending each other reels. We're always having fun together. It's nice. Fawn: Yeah. And you speak in gifs. And memes and emojis. E (2): Not always though, but back to like the whole, they don't, teenagers don't take initiative. [00:31:00] They don't put much effort. In It depends, like I have a lot of friends in Europe. I just, I feel like there's more effort put into the friendship or the relationship from the other side by them. Fawn: When I lived there, and not just Europe, but in other countries that I worked in, I always felt so. So much that love of family, which is friendship. Friendship is family. And every time I came back I'm like, oh my God. It wasn't my imagination. Ever since I was very little, that's what I've been looking for. And every time I went to another country, I'm like, okay, I'm not crazy. This is how they treat friendships, you know? And then I'd come back here, I'm like, oh, here we go again. Like, oh, Like I was told, I expect too much out of friendships. But in other countries it's not that way. That is how it is E (2): exactly Like they text you first though. It's like, Hey, you wanna hang out? Or like, hi, how are you doing? Or they just want to genuinely get [00:32:00] connect with you and get to know you. But with my American peers, I feel like I always have to initiate everything, every hangout, unless it's previously scheduled, everything. Like, Fawn: and that's, that's the thing scheduled. Everything, everyone has a schedule. Even when they're 18 months old, they have a schedule. Yeah. And then the parents have a schedule and then the other kid has their schedule. So all these schedules need to coincide. Remember play dates back then? For a play date to happen was like looking at four different calendars. Oh, I, you know, until every, oh, and not only in calendars, but you have to be exactly the same age. God forbid you were two months older. You know, we're two months younger. Oh, then no, we can't hang out with you. Like when you were a baby. That's what we were told. No, sorry. We can't hang out. The mom said that, you know what? It is just ridiculousness to me anyway. How can we turn this around? Being open, always being [00:33:00] open and always- something I discovered. I was learning a while ago. I was learning Spanish and I was like, oh my God, why? Because it felt like everything was like long. Took many words to say what you could say in very few words in English, but it also shows that they, you take the time to say it right. So taking the time, being open I think is important. A: Yeah. We've even shortened saying thank you to thanks or TY. A: Yeah. I didn't know what TX, Fawn: what, I didn't know what TY was. A: Ti is. Thank you. TH X's. Thanks. What about HBU? I have no idea. How about you? Wow. E (2): Or YH, which is just was which is just, yeah. What? Yes, I'm not joking. Like there's this Welsh kid, and she always says YH. And I had to Google what it means. I know how humiliating that sounds. And it said. It stands [00:34:00] for? Yeah. And I was like, you need to abbreviate that. It's four letters. Why do you need to abbreviate that? Well, you guys don't put Fawn: Periods and question marks either A: because it's just too much work. I put question marks. I put exclamation points. Fawn: When I found this out, it was because it sounds like you were yelling, so if you have a period, it means you're upset. A: Honestly, to me, it seems like it makes me uneasy. Like, are you mad about something? Are you disappointed? Do you not wanna be talking to me? Are you annoyed Fawn: when you A: see Fawn: a punctuation A: mark? Yeah, like either like I have to like. Totally an like, I think it's because my generation overanalyzes everything and tries to like find out like, are they just like testing me or something? Or like, because texts can get misconstrued very easily because it's just like a couple words, no tone, no anything. So like if there's a period after a sentence, I, I get scared. If it's like, yeah, I'd love to hang out like in my head, [00:35:00] like even though you probably meant, yeah, I'd love to hang out. It sounds like, yeah, I'd love to hang out with you. Fawn: So sarcastic. A: Yeah, Fawn: so I guess that's why emojis after that would help. Like, yeah, if you put a heart symbol, but then it all depends what color is the heart and what kind of heart. A: I normally just go with my favorite color, but Gen Z has like, and I think also Gen Alpha has this total code of emojis, like skeleton crying, like that one we're just absolutely sobbing. Not the laughing crying one or the withering flower all represent like, I'm laughing so hard. That's so funny. E: The withering flower represents that. That's so weird A: because I'm withering away from how hard I'm laughing. I can't breathe. A: Also, just like something that's kind of pathetic but meant to be funny. Fawn: Alright, kids, let's wrap this up. Any other words from Europe? From [00:36:00] France? Yeah. YH E (2): well, earlier actually, I've, I've been thinking about lately and our, I sometimes talk about this with my friends because they're in Europe. I'm here. Long distance can be interesting in many ways. Like you're far apart physically, but it brings you closer on an intellectual level, on even a spiritual level. Dare I say, and dare I say, Fawn: well, I guess there's a lot of pressure that's outta the way. The pressure of how you're dressed, the pressure of, um, maybe you're in a bad mood so they don't get to see all of that. So it's easier to get past a lot of stuff. Right. E (2): Exactly. And actually, uh, okay. Mel had a lot to say about this earlier when I asked her. She stuff four pages. It's not four pages. It A: looks like it's four pages. Okay guys, come on dude. E (2): You were [00:37:00] mean. Okay. You know that. I know. I'm, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Mel. That's what I do. Okay. All of this is gonna be edited out. E (2): Yes, A: yes, I know. I know. All of your little bickering back and forth. Mom's just gonna edit. No A: that's sadder than like when you ground me. Like my face genuinely dropped. When you said that. Fawn: Who said what? A: When Dad said this is gonna be edited out. My face just like dropped. Okay, everybody calm down. So what were you gonna say? E (2): Okay. So Mel had a lot to say about this and here's what she said. Honestly, I think long distance relationships, whether romantic or friendly, are very different from regular ones. First of all, they definitely require more effort and commitment. Communication becomes the most important thing. Since you can't see each other in person, you have to express yourself clearly and understand and, and honestly to avoid misunderstandings and keep the relationship steady. Trust is also a key element. You don't always know what the other person is going through, but you still have to believe in the [00:38:00] connection and be patient with one another. Long distance relationships aren't very easy. The feeling of missing the other person and not being able to share real life moments with them can be really tough. But even with that, these kinds of relationships can be really beautiful because they're built on choice, not convenience. They push us to go beyond appearances and habits, and when it works, it creates something real and authentic. So I believe it's worth experiencing this kind of connection, even if distance is part of it, Fawn: that those are some wise words there. Yes, she's, and in English, she's French, right? Yeah, she's bilingual. Her English is sometimes better than mine. How is her English so amazing? E (2): Well, sometimes the English and the French school system, it isn't taught very well, but she's always had a passion for it. So. She learned it from things like music and shows and that's Fawn: great. That's [00:39:00] impressive. E (2): It is. Why? Fawn: Alright, I think we should wind it down. Any words of encouragement, babe? MATT: I already ponied up my words. Fawn: Okay. That's it. Alright, well thanks for listening and one of the things I'd like to take away is, let's not be so hard on parents and Blame the parents for everything. I mean, I kind of do sometimes, like I feel like the bad behavior that is happening is really the parents. A: Yeah, it's the two month old's fault, MATT: Take the time, be open and evolve and hold in your heart, your head, the ability for those around you to grow and evolve. Fawn: I'm going to add something else that you offered a long time ago, matt, is the world is your home and you are the host. everyone is your guest. It is your job to welcome other people. Because you are, if you can think about the world as your [00:40:00] home, you have a duty to greet everyone with kindness and with a sense of friendship. MATT: Sounds very wise. Fawn: Alright, everybody, have a beautiful every day. We'll talk to you soon. Be well E (2): talk to you Fawn: soon.