The Art of Travel and Communication in Another Country - The French Connection, with Ray and Vanessa Brantley-Newton

May 23, 2022 01:10:32
The Art of Travel and Communication in Another Country - The French Connection,  with Ray and Vanessa Brantley-Newton
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt
The Art of Travel and Communication in Another Country - The French Connection, with Ray and Vanessa Brantley-Newton
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Show Notes

We're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go.

The BEAUTIFUL Vanessa Brantley-Newton is back, this time with her BRILLIANT husband Ray! They join us from their vacation in Paris, France, and share their adventures, experiences, wisdom, and advice for life, travel, food, love, art, and how to respectfully and lovingly travel the earth.

We love connecting with Vanessa and Ray. Join us as we discuss ways our fabulousness translates wherever we go. The world is a small town and it is so good to connect!

How is it that even though we may not speak the same language, we can completely understand each other?

Is it possible that we all have encoded something in our hearts that can translate for us and enable us to communicate, transcending words? Are there codes that we can access through sacred geometry in our bodies that when we assume a specific posture, can change the way we communicate and the way others are able to understand our inner nature?

 Vanessa Brantley-Newton on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/?hl=en

https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/

 Vanessa's Ted Talk:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuMBHSZf32c


Magasin Sennelier, the art store,

the Louvre;

store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street,

Maison Bossier https://www.magasinsennelier.art/en/

the Les Frenchies https://lesfrenchiestravel.com/

the power pose

 

TRANSCRIPT – The French Connection With Vanessa and Ray

[00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, welcome to our friendly world, everyone. Okay, look, look, look, look, look okay if you can't, if you can't see me. Listen, listen, listen, listen to this. And if you can't, if you can't understand the words that I'm saying, like you speak another language.

If you can't speak the same language, I want you to feel me out. Just feel me out. I have a message for you. Most of you listening know where the message came from. Where was I when I got the message? Nevermind. Don't say it, but you all know the one room where I receive messages, my guidance of what I'm supposed to do comes and it came today.

And I'm so happy to share today with you because we have two beautiful guests. I'm so excited. I've been giggly since we found out yesterday. So the message is, this is what I heard today, that, and this goes for you, Matt, because it came with like computer jargon that we're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go.

And as I heard this, I remembered certain examples. So I was a teenager. I worked at this camera store in LA. It was right next door to UCLA. And most of our clientele were, either doctors or professors at UCLA that would come in and I worked the film counter, the processing counter, the film processing.

, one of our customers was a professor and she spoke like six or seven different languages. And so one day I was looking at her and I was saying, you know, sometimes I can read people's minds. Like it comes and goes, but I can completely feel, hear and see things in people. And she's like, that's really interesting.

Are you, do you speak any other languages? So I told her the languages I speak. She told me hers. I did not speak any languages that she spoke. Oh, I'm so excited. And I'm out of breath. Okay. So here's what happened. So she's like, all right, let's do an experiment for a quick second. I will tell you something different things in different languages and let's see what happens.

So I braced myself, we connected, I looked into her eyes. She was looking into my eyes. I felt open. Like there was, uh, an open highway between us and she started talking and then she stopped. And then I repeated what she said in English. I did not speak the language she spoke, but I understood what she said and I can't do it all the time.

And we started screaming like, oh, it was so great. And so that example of that has actually happened to me on the road. So as I'm photographing different projects around the planet, I have definitely been in areas where the people of that area do not have any care for, or like any, um, consciousness about the government, about, about the lines that are designated to say, this is Ethiopia, this is Kenya.

Do you know what I mean? They have no, no. Uh, what's the word for it, Matt? They don't care. It's not that they don't care about. It's not in their consciousness to say, oh, I live in Ethiopia. Each tribe had their own language. You know, like we were far out, there were, they were an entity, uh, a family of their own, not controlled by any government.

Right. And so, as I was photographing the people, and a lot of people asked me, like, how do you end up photographing the people that you photograph though? This is what happens. There's this connection that you feel wherever you go. And I would be sitting with these people and women in particular, and they were just talking amongst themselves.

And I had the great the great blessing of being able to be with them. But once in a while, it's like something clicked and I understood every word they were saying; everything. And they understood me. I was speaking English and they understood me. They were speaking and I completely knew what they were talking about and we communicated that way.

And those are the people I photographed. So, um, but that, again goes to the message I got today this morning, which is everyone is encoded with a special gift. And one of those is the ability to communicate that your fabulousness translates wherever you go, which leads us to today because everybody, we have the beautiful Vanessa Brantley-Newton and her wonderful, amazing handsome husband, Ray, everyone.

Yay. Welcome. And Matt is here too. Matt

[00:05:07] Matt: I'm

[00:05:10] Fawn: here.

Thank you so much for joining us and guys guess where Vanessa and Ray are right now.

[00:05:19] Ray: Is it

[00:05:19] Matt: California or Texas.

[00:05:21] Fawn: Where

are you?

[00:05:23] Vanessa: aaaaaah...Bonjour! We are in Paris, France. We are here finally.

[00:05:32] Fawn: Actually, we knew where you were. We're so excited. We've been planning this for a few months. Now you told us about this and we're so we're so happy.

I'm like Vanessa, we have to record when you're in Paris and we want Ray with us. Ray. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. (Ray says "Bonjour!")

And it's perfect because our biggest audience outside of the United States is France. We love France so much.

[00:06:03] Vanessa: Yes.

[00:06:04] Fawn: So grateful. And so the focus today being connection, we are talking about, oh, you know, what should you pack? And what's it going to be like, and you spoke with my friend Martine and we were talking about what is it like there?

And I haven't been back to France. It's been a while since I've been there. So I really don't know what it's like. I cannot wait to hear all the details about your trip. And also I knew, first of all, you're such a wonderful caring couple. You're so brilliant. You're so loving. You have so much, so many gifts that you offer everyone wherever you go.

I knew the French would love you. I knew the whole country would embrace you. You know, I'm like, didn't I say, didn't I say that Vanessa I'm like, Vanessa, please go full force.

[00:06:59] Vanessa: You really did. You, you really did it. And I have to say we've been here, uh, Crazy stuff happened in America, of course, trying to get here, delayed, delayed, delayed, delayed again, and delayed again.

And we finally get to France and I have to say sometimes delays are a good thing because what it actually did was we were supposed to fly from Charlotte, into Philadelphia and then from Philadelphia into London and then from London to France. And what happened was because of the delay, the flight attendant said, I'm going to put you on a flight now straight to London, and then a two hour flight from London to Paris.

And we got here quicker than we thought, you know? So that was, that was awesome. We'll never do third party, travel again. That third party thing

[00:07:57] Fawn: texted me about that. I don't know what that is. What is third party?

[00:08:01] Vanessa: Third third party, when you are doing, you know, there used to be a time where you could go into a travel agency and sit with them and plan the whole trip.

Now everything is done online, you know, especially because of COVID, you know, you really don't get to go into offices anymore and to travel. So there was two travel agents that I had been dealing with for a long time and nobody could get me the price that was really good for us, on the date, that was really good for us.

And so I did it myself, but I did it through a third party, which was Cheapo Air. Avoid Cheapo Air. Avoid them! They are the plague of, um, we, we, we talk about Spirit Airline and that Spirit Airline will steal your spirit. Okay. Cheapo Airline is worse than Spirit. The name speaks for itself, I would say, , for this trip and for future trips for Ray and I, we will definitely be doing the other end, just letting you know, just pay the price, fly well, and fly straight to where you're going and fly straight home.

[00:09:16] Ray: If

you're, let's say you're flying with one bag and your country hopping it's okay.

[00:09:24] Vanessa: Yeah,

[00:09:25] Ray: because they give you, a budget economy on everything. So it

[00:09:31] Vanessa: has its pluses and minuses

it has its pluses and minuses, but, um, yeah, no, not for us, but I will say, getting to the Novotel Hotel and meeting the staff, even with the little bit of French that we are speaking, they have been so kind and just, I find this is very, very true, especially for Americans who are listening

who are going to other countries. It's so important that you learn the basics before you go; hello, goodbye, thank you, please. Can you help me? That kind of thing. The French even laugh at us. I mean, they were laughing at us like, you know, but it's, we'll help you. We, you know, we, we tried a little bit goes a long way.

When you walk into the stores, you need to say "Bonjour", when you walk in, when you leave, you need to say, Au revoir. Or, you know, at least let them know that you're leaving; something, you need to say, thank you, merci beaucoup, you know, when they give you a fork or knife or an, or a menu, say those niceties and watch the whole atmosphere change

[00:10:44] Fawn: and acknowledge, acknowledge the people, human beings that are bringing you

the most delicious nourishing feast, right? Matt, Matt. Um, I met Matt and Aikido, Ray. We met in a martial arts school. And so Matt was the teacher's pet at this martial arts school. And I came in like the Tasmanian devil. I talk about this all the time because I came in with mixed martial arts background.

Like I, I came in ready to break knees and elbows like, and I'm very short on a very, very good day. Maybe I'm reaching five feet tall. Matt is six, four, but I am like the Tasmanian devil coming into this very spiritual, school. And so they had to teach me things, but one of them was to calm down because I want it, I want it to hit people.

I want to do. I wanted to throw everything and there, they actually told me now, now we don't hit here. Like I was in kindergarten. I'm like, what do you mean we don't hit here? What are you doing? What are we here for? So they taught me this concept. Actually, Matt taught me this concept of the world is your home.

And you are the host. Walking down the street, walking anywhere you go, it is your home. And it's your job to welcome people and make people feel comfortable. So your host, your, how do you say it, Matt? You said it so brilliantly years ago. And you keep

[00:12:16] Matt: saying terrible today

[00:12:17] Fawn: though. Matt is terrible when I put them on the spot, but basically whoever you meet, you're welcoming them into your home because the world is your home.

And so to have eye contact and to say, thank you. And, oh my goodness. I remember, you know, when I travel, you can always spot Americans because for example, you're in, at a bakery, they will point at something and almost exactly almost touch it and say, gimme, gimme that one. Give me, oh, no,

[00:12:50] Matt: no. He used to, to, but my Lord, I do at some sometimes

[00:12:55] Fawn: because I was around and I would have a fit.

[00:12:58] Matt: I got a hand raised from Ray. Yes. Right.

[00:13:02] Fawn: I think

[00:13:05] Matt: give me that one. No no, not that one. That one,

that one

[00:13:12] Fawn: I come in, I'm like, Ooh, it's so

[00:13:15] Vanessa: beautiful. May have that one????.

[00:13:21] Ray: It's like going into a donut shop. I have three of those, five of these six, if you're just pointing, I don't want to name them. It takes too long, just point grunt.

[00:13:34] Vanessa: And I find some men, men thing, but I find too, like, like you said, fun, it is very American. It is, it is so American. I mean, um, at times I'm embarrassed even while here, cause we've seen some Americans it's rather embarrassing and it is, you know, now I know, oh, I get why the French don't particularly care for Americans.

Now I have to tell you and Matt, being here in France, Ray and I have really counted the black or colored people that we've seen here on visitation. I mean, you know, walking down the street or going into a restaurant or a store or whatever. Yeah. You see people of color, you know, walking around and everything.

Just say vacation. There's, you know, there's a bunch of black people. My niece who, lives in Charlotte and, goes to Dubai, just came back from France, what about three weeks ago was here three days. They were only here three days, you know, but she travels and she learns so much from the travel about, you know, customs. This is why it's so important to learn people's language, learn their customs, you know, that in France,

okay, any time after three, most restaurants are closed. They'll open up again at seven o'clock find other things to do, you know? Um, it is, uh, it is brilliant. I think that's why they don't walk around as stressed. Oh, walk around as, um, uh, occupied with so many different things. Even the way they dress; Ray and I had a chance to sit at a little restaurant called Dino today, and we sat and we, people watched while we ate, and seeing older French women walk up and down the street in their high heel shoes and their suits, their Chanel bags and, just very classy, very, um, very sophisticated, very French. It was, it was amazing.

It was amazing.

[00:15:44] Fawn: There's a sense of integrity and a sense of self-worth that everyone carries with them. And I think that's true. That's the true style right there, because you can wear anything. You can wear a potato sack. Do you remember? I remember watching our Lucille Ball episode where they went, I think it was Paris.

They were in Paris and she wanted all these designer things. And then Ricky, Ricky said, oh, look, here's a designer. Cause he was too cheap to buy her the designer stuff. And he literally gave her a potato sacks with like hats. Do you remember that?

[00:16:20] Vanessa: Did you ever see that? But one of the best episodes ever, that was really good.

[00:16:25] Fawn: And so, and when she found out she was mad and then later they found all these models on a photo-shoot wearing the same potato sacks.

[00:16:34] Vanessa: I mean, it looks amazing. Yes. Yes.

[00:16:38] Fawn: So it's all about, it's all about the vibe. It's all about self-worth and you know, the value that you hold about yourself and others. That is key, not only for yourself, but for others

[00:16:51] Matt: and to communicate taking us back to our central point.

Obviously, if you feel comfortable, if you feel accepting adventurous, like, Ooh, I want to see, you know, I want you to describe, then you're going to have better communications with people.

[00:17:06] Fawn: Okay. There was this one day. I have so many French stories because I love the French so much. Uh, but one story was, I was trying to, I was actually on my way back, I was, I was a student in England and every chance I had gone, I was in France.

Every chance I got and you know, it's so close, so you can just in two hours be there. I was late for finals. I was in France and I had to quickly get back to England to take my exams. And I was freaking out because I was lost in Paris. I was by myself and I was really lost, you guys, like I had no idea where transportation was like, I don't know how I got myself to where I was and I was starting to panic, like panic. And this, this man comes closer to me and I'm shaking my hands. And like, I'm like freaking out. I go up to him and I lost all my senses because in English I'm like, excuse me, excuse me,

sir.

And he started laughing.

He was just laughing. And, and then in French, he's like, you, you speak French, don't you? And then, so I responded, yes, yes. I totally speak French. He's like, well, ask me in French. I'm like, oh my God, I'm freaking out. He's like, that's okay. That's okay. In English. He's like, tell me in French.

So, but you know what? No, it was not an ouch moment. It was loving because even though he was saying those words and it seems uncomfortable and mean, it wasn't at all because he had the most beautiful spirit about him. And he was, he was looking at me in the eyes as a human being and he was smiling and he just saw, he just saw the comedy in it.

He was like, and he made me slow down and he made me take a breath. And then I started speaking in French and he's like, there you go. And then he's like, okay, go this way. It's right there.

[00:19:11] Ray: No, that happened. That happened to me today. Sorry to cut you off. While we're in the candy store, the woman in the store was talking Spanish to me and I comprehended it, but I couldn't respond.

I froze and I felt bad. I should be speaking fluent Spanish, but the days when it'll flow and there are days when it ain't coming out. And today was the day where it didn't come out. She's trying to talk to me. And all I could think of was my mother, my mother, my mother, because all I remember was every time I heard Spanish from an older woman, it was my mother disciplining me.

And for that moment, nothing came out of my mouth. And when we left the store, I felt ashamed that I should be speaking this and I just panicked

it wasn't there.

[00:20:02] Vanessa: It was a beautiful moment though. We went to a little candy shop called Maison Bossier it is some of my favorite chocolate. We went in and I mean, when I tell you the store is so tiny, this store was probably started somewhere and the very, very early 18 hundreds.

And it's still in the same area, same store, everything. I mean, they even still have the old receipts and the shelves, nothing is like new, except for the candy and the iPad that they do the transaction on, but the store is gorgeous and the woman was so, so very, very kind. I came in and, , I, said bonjour , parlez-vous Englais?

And she said, you know, a little, you know, she speaks a little bit. And uh, she goes, I speak Spanish. And then she looked at; when Ray said. He, uh, that he could comprehend. She began to speak to him and she began to ask him, but it was such a beautiful moment. There was another woman that came in and she was a woman of color.

She came in and, um, I think they were shocked at how much chocolate we bought.

I think we almost emptied the store. It was ridiculous. How much time I... seriously y'all we spent about $400 in chocolate. That's how that's how much chocolate that's how much I love it because you can't get it here in America. This is my first trip to France and won't be my last one, but it will be my, my only one for a while.

And, um, just the woman sitting there; and this is so much about what you were talking about earlier about communication. she spoke to the black woman that was sitting there in French and the black woman turned to us and she said to us, she said, your spirit is so beautiful. And I wanted to cry.

She said, I, she said, your spirit is so beautiful. And she says, thank you for coming in. And I was like, you know, I knew "merci beaucoup," but you know, she, she was telling us I really like her and that meant everything to me. That meant everything to me. So you know what it is too, is your energy; how you walk in a room, people perceive you before you even open your mouth and say anything.

I walked into Shakespeare company, we go there and of course it's a tourist trap, everybody and their mother is walking around. And, I get the book that I wanted for my daughter and I'm walking up to the counter and I go "merci beaucoup". And the woman says in English, I love your energy. Your energy is everything.

It really is so important that we have a right attitude ourselves and when we walk into a room. It's not the other person's responsibility to respond to you. It's about you walking in the room and commanding their attention, whether they want it or not, and whether they want to walk past you and act like you don't exist or whatever.

And I'm not saying everybody's here in France has been nice. So we have a breakfast the other morning, and it was a young lady who was not, she was not happy to see me. I don't know what it was, but I, you know, I, I, I'm a woman of faith. I sat there and I prayed for her. I said, maybe she's having a rough day.

I don't know she's having a rough day, but the waiter, oh my goodness; kissed me and everything. You know, it's, it's, it's not everybody, but you know one person, all the other five people that I met today, just beautiful.

[00:23:54] Fawn: Yeah. And it totally makes sense because the world is your home. You are the host, you, you, it is your job to welcome people.

And you just do that naturally. Vanessa, you didn't have to go to our martial arts school to be told that, you know, uh, once in Paris and I was with my friend, Abe, Abe Moss, wherever you are, I miss you so much. I wish you could reach out to us. Abe Moss had a very famous dad and everything, like he led a pretty cushy life, I think, but we were, we were, and he hated Paris, by the way, he hated Paris.

I'm like, oh, I love it here so much. Come on, come on. Let's go walking together. He's like, I hate it. Just walk with me to the train station. Cause I want to get out of here. I'm like, all right, I'll go with you to the train station. So, you know, the world works in very funny ways. So we're at the train station.

And remember I told you about pickpockets, Vanessa, like yeah. Uh, the it's it's um, he was so very graciously pick-pocketed because he didn't realize it had happened until he was about to get on a train. And he realized his wallet was gone. His passport was, everything was gone off of his body. Like he didn't feel anything.

He was so distraught. He's like, I gotta call my dad. I'm like, don't call your dad. We're okay. We're okay. But call him later. Let's try to figure things out and do what we can here and then call your dad and let him pull the strings. Right. Let's just, just, just humor me for a second. He's like, okay.

He was so upset. Well, of course, but I'm saying like, but here's what happened. We went, I'm like, let's go to the police station and just fill out a report and see where we can w how we can, um, get ahold of the embassy and get, get something started with your passport. So we go to the, uh, the police state.

And you guys, long story short Abe is sitting there with his head, his face and his hand, and he's mumbling. And then he finally kind of, he doesn't yell at me, but he's like "Fawn, I am so glad you are having a good time" because, well, I was translating for him because I was trying to fill out the police report in French.

Right. So I was translating the thing is that the police officer first, her

police, the police

officer was really, really

cute.

[00:26:24] Matt: Oh dear.

[00:26:27] Fawn: And then the police officer asked me out on a date,

[00:26:33] Matt: well, you don't want to be with him.

[00:26:35] Fawn: I was so happy. Like he was the sweetest person. And anyway, it's a long story, but we ended up going the Louvre after that. And we ended up having a good day, Abe and I. But the thing is that meeting this police officer, because I have a fear of police. Like I have like my whole body chemistry changes with police, but this police officer taught me so much about the culture and, about France. He was the kindest person and he ended up shortly after that, not being a police officer anymore, he said to me, Fawn, I'm going to get fired because I don't give anyone tickets.

He was the sweetest person. So after that, he became a school bus driver for kindergartners in his, in his hometown, in France he's but like just, you know, it's about your spirit. Like my spirit was like very open and loving about the whole culture, the whole France, you know, and of course I met the most loving police officer to help.

You know, an officer who loved all humanity and stuck up for everyone and would never give anyone a ticket.

[00:27:49] Vanessa: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's amazing. That is amazing. We have the same fear, but you know, it, uh, even, even while being here, uh, there's a couple that we watch, Ray and I. They're called the Les Frenchies I don't know if you ever heard of them or not. They are a online, a YouTube, a couple that travel France. They go back and forth to America, but for the most part, they stay here in France and they give you all kinds of tips for when you travel to France, what restaurants to go to, do you go to aboulangerie?

Do you go to a patisserie? Do you go to a tourist trap restaurant or do you go to a restaurant that is a more of a street restaurant where the locals will go. What Ray and I found out was that, yeah, you want to go to those boulangeries and quick street food that they talked about because they're intermingling with the community and the food is

[00:28:54] Ray: delicious.

You know, as a traveler, you're eating a delicious meal for not a expensive price, and we've started doing it, going to the street, restaurants and

[00:29:07] Vanessa: soups

[00:29:08] Ray: and Vanessa spirit brightens up the place. And we usually get discounts or free things.

[00:29:14] Vanessa: The day we walked into Sephora. And I really went in there to just get some stuff that was confiscated when we came into the country. Really wasn't going in there to shop and was not going to buy myself a mother's day gift or anything like that. And ended up with a bag of stuff because of the sales woman, , shout out to July, that was her name July. July was just delighted and excited that somebody from America was there.

And I think she was delighted because the attitude was one of: it's so nice to meet you. It's so nice to be here with you. And, , she kept saying the same thing, your spirit, your spirit. And so spirit is very, very important. If you're watching negative things. If you're having negative conversations, if you lack confidence, if you lack self-esteem that comes across when you meet people.

I, you know, there was a time when I wasn't able to look people in the eye. Now I look you in the eye. I speak to you. There was a time where I would say hello, and now I'm like, HELLO! BOUNJOUR! , you know, it's more lively. And it's because I have confidence in Vanessa. And that confidence is not a cockiness.

There's two different things. Conseit and confidence is two different things. Confident that if you get to know me, you'll like me. And I, you, the same thing, even in not understanding your language, the kindness that comes across even, from, got in the car, Ray and I got in the car with a taxi driver named Vincent. Vincent drove us from the airport.

He was so sweet. And so kind, and before I got out of the car, I put my hand on his shoulder and I said, "Bonsoir" you know, and, "Merci beaucoup". And he was like, oh, you speak French very well

and everything. And I introduced myself, to him, and he was just so kind, but the gesture of putting my hand on his shoulder connected us in a way where he was like, you are not like the Americans that come and just we're here to serve you. That's it, we're just servants.

[00:31:31] Ray: And knowing Vanessa I've seen her transform.

When I first met her, Vanessa was very shy. Her hair used to cover half her face. It's like she was hiding. But I noticed when we used to work in the hospital together, she had a very bright smile, no matter how much she tried to cover her face, her smile would, it was bright. And I used to always tell her, you need to move your hair back and show your smile and well, it worked.

Um, she she's my wife now, but that's what I saw in her. I saw that energy. It was there. It it's like confidence. And we're going through that now with our daughter

[00:32:14] Vanessa: confidence.

[00:32:16] Matt: Yeah, I have to say confidence, first of all is catching. If someone around you is confident, you're much more likely to be confident. As well, as they've noticed certain things, like, I work fully remote and I like working with teams where I can see the people I work with.

If you don't, if you can't see the people you work with, I mean, they're basically closing themselves off. They're telling you, they don't want to talk to you. They feel less confident. Your team on the whole feels like it's kind of spiraling down. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. And it's interesting.

Something that they discovered was, cause sociologists or psychologists love doing experiments, especially with zoom now. But they noticed like at the end of a meeting that, they had somebody just start waving like crazy and it took about two or three weeks and then everybody would wave goodbye and everybody felt better about everything at that point.

I mean, it's just, you know, if you go looking for happiness, you're going to find it. If you go look into misery, you're going to find it. Go looking for happiness.

[00:33:13] Fawn: And also , it's a physical thing too. Like, they teach you that, like, let's say before you go into a huge meeting or a presentation or whatever situation where you are on, there's a, what, what is the superhero it's called the power pose.

So like for five minutes by yourself, in a room, you just stand with your feet, hip distance apart, and your hands on your hips, Vanessa is doing it right now. I wish we had video. And your, your chin up

[00:33:48] Matt: Vanessa practically looks divine.

[00:33:50] Fawn: She is, SHE IS DIVINE. .

[00:33:52] Matt: Like, you know, Jesus divine, my goodness.

[00:33:55] Fawn: She is,

she is GODDESS

there's a

[00:33:57] Matt: light on you when you did that. My goodness.

[00:34:00] Vanessa: Okay. If I tell you Matt and Fawn, I learned that, it was just before I did my Ted Talk about five years ago. I wasn't lacking confidence, but I was a little intimidated by this audience. We were in Sonoma, California, and it was during the fires when everything had everybody rich, poor had lost everything and the community had come together and we really, it was like 18 speakers.

And I was, I'm always either the first one or the last one, but I was, I was the last speaker. And, um, I remember my sister saying, you need to do the super superhero stance. And she taught it to me and I remember standing there and doing it. And he made me do it for the whole five minutes. And I walked out on stage and delivered, a speech that got a standing ovation, over 700 and some odd people, but really what touched me, where the tears and people crying and bringing them joy, just sharing my little story, but not expecting it to be a standing ovation type of situation. But that superhero stance does something to your spirit. It actually ignites your experience of your spirit to, to go to another level. Not like I said,not in conceit, but in that I can do this.

I, you know, I think we should really teach children this stance.

[00:35:35] Fawn: They know

that stance. I think we, I think society unteaches them.

[00:35:40] Vanessa: Oh, definitely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Who are you? What's the, what's so special about you. Can you go and we as parents, we really have to be advocates for our children, where this is concerned. This is not the teacher's responsibility. So for all of you will think it's the teacher's responsibility. It is not the teacher's responsibility. It is not even the marshal. If your, if your child's in the martial arts, I am a Tai Chi, studier. This is not something your Tai-Chi master has to teach you or your teacher or whatever.

This is something that parents need to do with their children. Join as a family. Today, you're going to go to school and you're going to ACE that test. I'm going to tell you how you're going to do it. We're going to pray. We're going to, we're going to say some affirmations, and then you're going to stand there for five minutes in your superhero.

[00:36:31] Ray: It's funny. We were going over that. Well, our daughter was about nine years old and she was a big wrestling fan and it was this one wrestler that used to talk with so much confidence. He sounded cocky. And I told her before the exam, think that you are him because he talks it, he walks it, he shows it

and she did it and

she aced the exams.

And it's amazing how self-awareness. But when as young children, we beat each other up. Yeah. Cause I'm having a bad day. So I'm gonna take it out on you. But like, as Vanessa would say, it's up to the parents to reassure, to recharge. It's not you it's him. It's her. Be the best you can. People. And as you grow up, you realize people are always out here to beat you down.

If they're having a bad day, like the waiter in the restaurant. Okay, fine. You're having a bad day, but God bless you. I'm okay. Whatever it is bothering you. Sorry, but me being a new Yorker, I wouldn't care. You're having a bad day. Oh, that's too bad. That's too bad. Here's a sarcastic remark to take with you.

[00:37:46] Vanessa: But, but, but he's learned, you know, on that very same thing, but that superhero thing is so very, very powerful

[00:37:53] Fawn: And they found out that it affects other people. So they did this blind study where they had one group do the power pose, and then they had one group that didn't and they were all going on

job interviews, the ones that did, and they all had the same qualifications, the ones that did the power pose, all got the job. People can sense it. It's on another level. And also they did this study with like people who go on what's that show, uh, Shark Tank, the ones that show themselves coming in.

And using their hands. So you can see their hands, even as I'm talking and no one can see us. When I use my hands, you're able to understand me better when I use my hands. It's a scientific thing that they've looked into that if you let your, if you let your body move, there's a better form of communication.

The other person receives things that you're saying, if you sit on your hands and do it, they don't hear you. It's really interesting.

[00:38:56] Ray: So being a new Yorker that's um, I'm

[00:38:58] Vanessa: okay. That

and

[00:39:02] Fawn: Ray, Ray, we've been wanting to talk to you for the longest time because you have that engineer mind, which is Matt also. And we're just wondering, can you tell us about how you all work together? Just as a quick example, I'm completely illogical. Matt is logical. He's also very spiritual, but he won't let it go

[00:39:23] Matt: illogical, say your intuitive.

Say you make decisions based more on emotion. Don't say your it's like saying I'm not something I don't, I don't like that.

[00:39:32] Fawn: illogical (emphasizing like a robot). I just put ill right on it. I do it on purpose to just explain how radically different we are in the way we operate. I'm not saying actually Matt is highly spiritual and like very intuitive, but like, we were just wondering how does that work?

And, and also, oh, I also, I know you have dinner plans coming up, so I like want to squeeze everything in really quick, Vanessa. I want to see how you, I want to know what you've been seeing and what you feel translates in a person. Like what's the first thing that translates to you. The first time I ever heard you speak was in your class actually.

And you described someone's shoes as being extremely pointy. I think you said that. And that I think about that all the time, because you know, I just want to know how things get translated to you, to your spirit when you're out in the world and Ray, how did things get translated to you and how do you translate to others?

Because you know, here, Matt, can you speak on this? Speak

engineer, talk.

How does it, how does it work? How do you work together? Are you opposites? Like, are you opposites in the way you see the world and the way you operate and communicate? Well,

[00:40:56] Ray: I think Vanessa would see the colors I'm seeing how they were made. And yeah, as, as an engineer, I, I, when somebody will ask me a question, I'll give you the answer and all the details behind it and the history.

Some people don't want to hear that. Just tell me the answer. My brother used to get annoyed. He would ask me a question and I'm going to give you the whole technical way out of it because it's, I'm nerdy. Yeah. That's I love to give information and I still do that. And sometimes it's annoying and, but now I'm catching myself.

They don't want to know just give them the answer, that's it, but on the inside, I'm bolting with energy to explain, Hey, and by the way, and give you more information. And a lot of people, they don't want to hear it. And as an engineer, I go from being technical for eight to 10 hours a day to nobody wants to hear it. So for me, it hurts sometimes when I'm ever around my family, nobody's into engineering, but thankfully I have a niece and nephew they're interested in the space program and they can ask me, I could sit down and talk with them and they're only 11 and 12 years old, but I felt it.

I want to regurgitate all this information to them because it's how I learned. I asked questions. I was around nerdy people and it's nice to be around somebody who can speak your language as a nerd. And the world today, I was told, told nerds are cool now thank you. But there was a time when we were shunned, scorned made fun of, but to know that now it's popular to be this way, but I have to find the people to be with

[00:42:45] Vanessa: absolutely

[00:42:46] Ray: because not everybody wants to know how a rocket goes in the air and what happens,

[00:42:51] Vanessa: you know, and I will say too, as, as Ray, as a man and, I'm a woman, we do speak differently.

There would be times when Ray would come in from work and my whole thing was much like a puppy. Hi, sweetie, HOW ARE YOU? How was your day? And he's like, bring it down a notch. I didn't, you know,

[00:43:10] Ray: let's, you can figure out this equation problem. I don't want to talk to you.

[00:43:14] Vanessa: Yes. And I'm going to go to the basement and I don't want to hear your voice until I come upstairs, you know?

And it wasn't, it wasn't this whole, for all my feminists out there, please don't feel like, oh, he was just trying to shut a sister down. That's not what he was doing. It is, my mind has been on engineering all day. I have to defrag for a second. And once I defrag, then we can kind of have a conversation about the baby, my day and all that went on with my day.

Me, you know, uh, Ray teases me still now, Matt and Fawn. He goes: if somebody called you at three o'clock in the morning, you would still answer the phone pleasantly. Wouldn't you? It would never be hello. It's never that, hi, what's going on? At 3am in the morning. He goes, somebody, you know, I'm calling, tell you that so-and-so died.

Oh, I'm so sorry. You know, then I'd , bring it down. But it is like that. And it's always been like that for me, I guess for me working in a hospital, there was never an off button for, uh, for me. So, uh, and then I was doing the job that nobody wanted. I was a phlebotomist, which is a vampire basically. And I was walking into people's rooms, being cursed out.

Most of the time didn't want me, uh, the, the worst were having parents who would say, like, I was a dog. I was going to be sicced onto their child to take blood. If you don't behave, I'm going to have that lady over there, stick you. Why would you do that? I'm here to help the kid. I'm not here to hurt your kid.

I'm here to help you and the kid. You don't want the doctor to come in here and draw the blood doctor, come in and tell the blood. You will lose it, really will lose it, but it was very hurtful. And what I had to do was not internalize it. In a hospital. You get to see everybody. This is the one thing that I've learned.

And I think it's why I am the way that I am. Sickness doesn't care what color you are. Doesn't care if you're a man or a woman doesn't care. If you're a kid doesn't care. If you were just born or you're 105 years old, it doesn't care if you live in Hollywood, it doesn't care that you're Gabrielle Union or Tom Hanks.

It don't care. It doesn't care. And I had to kind of put on that attitude. So when I walked in the room and somebody would tell me,get out of my room, or whatever, they were cussing me out or whatever, not to really take it to heart. You're in a hospital. You're not feeling good. You might've gotten some bad news from a doctor.

You don't want to hear from nobody. Okay. So, so I had to learn how to kind of bring it down. It's not about you, it's about your patient. And I kind of have that attitude when it comes to people. I E the waitress that was not so nice. I looked at her most of the night, what's going on with you because much like you fawn, I am spiritual much like Matt as well.

Very, very spiritual. I pick up people's spirits. I could tell there was something that was going on with her. And also that she was struggling a little bit with the color. I knew that, but I'm like, that's when you, because I watched her how she took care of the other customers that came in that were not my color.

She was very kind to them, not so kind to me. And the way that she spoke to her coworker, who was the color that I am not very kind to him as well. So I'm like you you're having a struggle or whatever, but you know, it is, it is what it is, but I have to stay grounded that way in kindness because with the low self-esteem, with the lack of confidence, it brings the energy down so low that it radiates to where cancer starts, where depression starts, where all kinds of sadness, diseases, everything start at 42 megs.

When you start getting into love and acceptance, that's when we get into the hundreds, the five hundreds and then enlightenment, which is a thousand Watts. That's where I want to be; enlightened. So I would shut my mouth and not say anything, if it will bring peace. Does that make sense?

[00:47:39] Fawn: Absolutely. And it makes sense because when you have that light it casts a light on all the darkness out there.

Yes.

[00:47:47] Vanessa: Yes. I

[00:47:49] Ray: wish I had her confidence. I'm the opposite. I grew up in a very confrontational environment. So being around Vanessa has taught me everything doesn't even need a reaction. So I'm learning to just shut up, let it go.

[00:48:10] Vanessa: But which is very hard. I mean, cause um, Ray comes from a family that will do, what's called the, does its, where they'll sit there and they'll crack on eachother.

[00:48:18] Ray: We would just verbally tear each other to pieces.

[00:48:20] Vanessa: Verbal, verbally tear each other to pieces.

[00:48:22] Ray: And,

, that is what's baked into me plus a little bit of Groucho Marx. So that's my defense mechanism. I'm going to cut you up sarcastically and enjoy it. And, but as an adult, I can't do that. And I have to learn how to shut it off because it's a reaction from me can create the wrong compensation.

Right? Exactly. Yeah. Let it go.

[00:48:51] Fawn: And I find that an engineer kind of mind there, there's a certain tone that comes out once in a while that you may not mean. For example, we bought a house a years ago. And we were trying to get things done in it very, very quickly. Like we needed flooring and we couldn't find any company to come in and do it within the timeline that we had.

And Matt, I said, Matt, please, can you call this list that I have? And he did. And there was one woman he spoke to who said, I'm really busy now with so many clients. I can't do the work for you. And Matt said, "good for you," but he

[00:49:29] Matt: exactly

good for

you. I'm really happy.

[00:49:32] Fawn: No, but he was genuinely happy because back then I was starting my business.

We were really conscious of small businesses, mom and pop businesses, which she was. And so he literally was genuinely happy for her, but because of his mind and his Mo state and his, you know, when you're in a car in front of the computer all day,

[00:49:53] Matt: Beyond in a logical state.

[00:49:55] Fawn: So very logical. And so she got so offended

[00:50:00] Matt: and she should have, because I did come across as an a-hole, I didn't mean

[00:50:03] Fawn: to, but yeah.

Uh, I had to call her and say, this is what he meant. And so she calmed down,

[00:50:09] Ray: I could see engineers, we were trying to resolve deluge with trying to figure things out. That is our purpose to figure things out. And if I have a list of alternatives, once you tell me no I'm going on, but I may come back to you

if I feel we can work something out. But time is of the essence with engineers. It's always get it fixed yesterday. You give me 10 people and nine out of 10, it's going to give me the answer I don't want to hear I'm hanging up the phone immediately. Let's move on. There's nothing you could do for me. It's not, I'm not being rude, but I need an answer quickly

[00:50:46] Vanessa: and much.

Like what Matt said, uh, you know, his answer was great, you're working it wasn't she took it as, oh, you're being sarcastic. And that wasn't the case at all. You're busy. Great. Wonderful, good for you!.

[00:50:59] Ray: I got move on. Sorry. Next thing. That's just the way it we're we're we're built like Vanessa would know that. Well, she wouldn't know I would come home sometimes trying to figure something out and there's a team of us and it's taken us days, sometimes weeks the burden is on somebody to lead up the team.

So we bring it home and that's how we think. I'm not here to dabble. I'm here to get it right. And sometimes it comes across as too cocky, but it's like you hired somebody to come and fix the problem and leave. I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to get paid through my job, go home. And when I was in aerospace, that was my demeanor.

In the later years, when I realized I knew what I was doing, I knew who I was, and I don't have time. Because time is wasted. I have a bunch of projects on my desk and I need to finish them. The problems never stopped. That's why our minds are so matter of fact, yeah, you finished one problem, there is another. And you know, you going on vacation is still a problem.

People are calling you, sending you emails. I don't know I'm on holiday. Leave me alone. Right. That's just the way it is. We're not rude. We're engineers.

[00:52:13] Fawn: And some people, some people use it as their whole, um, their whole shtick. Like I'm going to give you another martial arts example. We went to a Sumo match one day, Matt and I went to a Sumo match and was the guy Māori?

The guy that would yell with his mouth wide open.

[00:52:32] Matt: He was a Pacific Islander. He was,

[00:52:35] Fawn: this guy was very intimidating looking the tattoos, very, very big Sumo big, but like they had different classes of big, by the way, they had very thin female Sumo wrestlers also. But anyway, this guy was very aggressive and before every one of his matches, he would do this

yell. Like he would get into the other person's face and just growl. What did he do? Exactly. It was

[00:53:01] Matt: almost like a Māori war chant yell thing.

[00:53:04] Vanessa: Yes, it was,

[00:53:06] Fawn: it was very intense. I'm sorry. Really quick Ray, please, please. Don't lose your thought, Ray, but like very quickly what happened was, you know, it's all about figuring out how to diffuse a situation with just one word or like one glance because his opponent, this one time when he did that was, was he Hungarian?

It doesn't matter where the guy was from.

[00:53:26] Matt: He was the French national champion as a matter was he,

[00:53:29] Fawn: he was smaller and less intimidating. Like actually he had a kind demeanor and so they were all ready to go. The guy that the guy did, his war cry in his face. And the guy, they were all crouched up, ready to go. You know how they, they crouched down, they put their hands on their knees.

This guy took one hand off his knees and just gave him the thumbs up. Simple, like good for you waiting. And the whole croowd, the whole audience started laughing.

[00:54:00] Vanessa: Oh my goodness.

[00:54:03] Matt: Oh my goodness.

[00:54:04] Fawn: And you know, what's so did the other guy, the intimidating guy. And I think

[00:54:11] Vanessa: I w I will tell you, I had a similar situation about, uh, 10 years ago,

I won a contest, singing. It was called the Mary Mary show, here in America. It was two sisters who were gospel artists. I entered the contest and, you know, I didn't even really have any clue whether I was gonna win or not. I was just going to sing and do my thing. There were a lot of young people, I mean, much younger than I was a lot of young people.

And there was this young girl that came on and every week you would have to have people vote. So it was done all on Facebook, but you could see, and people were coming in and voting family members and everybody had to vote every day for about 130 days they would have to vote. You would see your box would go up and all the winners that were, in that week, I would still be in the box, but I would always be the last one.

Then there were weeks when I would be the first one. I didn't do all the things that they did. They did a whole lot of antics and makeup and different things like that. I put some makeup on and I sang into a spoon. Literally I sang into a spoon. This young girl came on and she had her families come members come on to kind of, egg me and to heckle me. She would come on and you're not going to when you're old.

And he would, I mean, she would say such mean things. I'm not even gonna go into some of the things that she said. She just said some really nasty things. And I would always be very kind. I would always be very tired. I hope you win. I hope this works out really, really good for you. This would be an opportunity.

You don't have to wish anything for me. Okay. Alrighty. But not to cut you off, Ray, but I went on through that and I knew what God was saying to me. You're going to win and I would hear it over and over again. You're going to win because you got personality. They're not just looking for the voice.

They're looking for the stage presence and the personality. And sure enough, I won first two things they said to me was you're mad, crazy singer, but more than your singing, your personality was everything; you singing into that spoon and having so much joy, singing into a spoon at your desk, with all your artwork behind you.

That that's why we picked you your personality.

[00:56:47] Ray: And it's

like playing sports. And most sports, I grew up playing American baseball and most sports as an individual athlete, there are moments when you're on your own, you're by yourself. You gotta make that play to hit, whatever it takes to win, it's you.

Athletes do have a Superman stance, like the Sumo wrestler. He had his grunt, his yell. All athletes have something that pushes the fear behind. And pushes their confidence forward. We have to do it, or else we'll shrink, we'll crumble when the time is right. And over a course of time, as an athlete, we learn how to just shut it off and all athletes, no matter who they are, we're nervous.

We don't want to screw it up. I don't care who it is. It's in the back of your mind. I don't want to be the one. It's there and athletes know how to turn it on and off in an instant. And it's the same thing. We have to know how to connect with it, identify what is helping us and put that forward and push everything back at that moment.

And that's what I feel, what it's all about. We all have to find that switch and going from engineering to sports, there were days when I'd leave my job, go straight to the game. I'm stressed out from the job. I'm in the game and there's a tight moment. I can't be worried about the job. I have to turn that switch and it's a weird way of handling us as a human, but we have to do it, find it, connect with it.

And sometimes that voice of doubt in the back of your mind, it's always going to be there. We have to know how to control it.

[00:58:34] Fawn: Thank you, Ray. You are so amazing and beautiful. Both of you. Matt has been quiet and I guarantee you when we stopped recording, he's going to say you didn't let me speak.

[00:58:48] Matt: No, I've been totally fine.

This time you have me on tape saying it.

[00:58:52] Vanessa: Oh,

[00:58:55] Fawn: But I just, I want to thank you. I know you have dinner plans and there's so many other questions I have for you, Ray. And I know Matt does too, and I want to know more about how your art is changing from being in Paris, . Oh my goodness. There's so much.

So I really want to continue the conversation and I do respect and value your time. And I want you to go and have the most exquisite dinner every dinner every day, every night, every evening. I want you to have a beautiful every day and I'm so literally like Matt and I are so giggly over here in our little apartment in a tiny town in Colorado because Ray and Vanessa are in Paris.

Yes,

[00:59:43] Vanessa: we. It's been amazing. You have a, so seven 15, so, so I thought

[00:59:49] Fawn: you were supposed to be there at seven 15.

[00:59:53] Vanessa: Yeah. Okay,

[00:59:53] Ray: man, it's just me and you, the ladies can go now,

[00:59:58] Vanessa: but you asked about the art, um, you know, I've been filling up sketchbooks for awhile. And so being in France, this is the perfect place to sketch.

Actually, I have a friend of mine that's coming from Amsterdam to be here with me on Saturday and she and I are going to people watch and sketch all day. That's all we plan to do sketch and collage. So I'm looking forward to that. But, I had the most wonderful opportunity to go to, Magasin Sennelier

I think it is Magasin Sennelier, the art store, right across from the Louvre; amazing. I want to say to anybody who is an artist, that's listening to this podcast, I think every artist needs to come to France at some point in their career and go to the art stores here. They are nothing like the American art stores, nothing I what's

[01:00:52] Fawn: happening.

[01:00:54] Vanessa: It took

[01:00:55] Ray: some of the stories are old. Yeah. They, they, the oldest store to, from my opinion, the more stuff they would have that is not on display. Yeah.

[01:01:05] Vanessa: Yes. So there are brands of watercolor. There are pencils, there are paint pigments and things that you can't order in America, you know, and Amazon is supposed to be this online thing, but you can get anything you want.

There are certain things that even Amazon will not be able to carry. I walk into the store, you can feel the energy from the store from the 17 hundreds. I mean, literally you could feel it. You could feel that there have been famous artists that came in here to buy art supplies. The store is very, very tiny.

, it has a spiral staircase that went up and when we went up, I mean, very small rooms and everything because the people back then were very tiny, you know? So it's not this big store that you walk into, but even the cabinetry that they keep all the pigments in, it was, it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my whole entire life.

[01:02:09] Ray: We used to know of a store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street, was like that it was a store that was around for maybe a hundred years, old creepy floors, tight walls, but they had everything in there. And if you didn't see it, or if you knew what you wanted, they had it somewhere in the basement warehouse , and this store reminded me

of it.

[01:02:33] Vanessa: Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was exactly like Pearl paints, uh, the people so very, very friendly. Although there was one young man who was not happy to see all the art supplies I was buying early in the morning. This is too much.

I hate you Americans. I was like, oh, okay. I, I understand. But it was, it was tremendous. I mean, um, I will go to probably another art store. I have to say too, as a children's book, illustrator going and seeing the children's books here have been the most amazing thing. They are not like American children's books.

French. Yes. The French are not afraid to talk about hard things with children as Americans are, we are, um, we, we just lack decorum. We don't know how to talk about death with children, but I know the French French do the Germans do definitely. And to walk into these stores and to see books that you're not going to find in America, that it's been everything, Fawn.

It has been the best trip ever in life was coming to France. We're going

[01:03:44] Ray: to have tons of new, uh, pictures, uh, paintings, all kinds of stuff coming out from this trip.

[01:03:51] Fawn: I, I so appreciate you sharing everything because it, it helps me so much because one of the big pains I've had is I do talk to my kids the way Europeans do.

I do feed my children the way Europeans do. And I've lost so many, um, like mom, friends, you know, like other families that have kids are our kids ages. They stopped talking to me because of how I raise our kids, which is with honesty and inclusion and, you know, total nourishment. I don't, I don't expose them to anything horrible, but w the conversations we have are so different than the conversations, my fellow American families have

[01:04:36] Ray: because a child or a young adult asked

the door is open.

And if you don't fill their mind with the right information, the

alternative is worse.

[01:04:48] Vanessa: But I will, I will say this too, in, in getting ready to close, is that, Fawn, when you and Matt are spiritual, like you are when you are also people of integrity, that changes everything. And so I will leave you with this: mediocrity is right down by the feet.

It will always stay around the feet and the knees. When you decide you want to go up, the air is thin. And not many people can say they're with you. And so it is really just the wrong people dropping off and that's fine. That's okay. And we have to be okay with that, is that we don't need 150 different friends.

We don't even need 10 fronts. We need three good friends. That's it. Three. And when we get there and get into a comfortable place of, you know, I don't need, I feel I need a 10 girlfriends. You don't need 10 girlfriends. You know, I, I tell my daughter this all the time. It's not about you having five friends or 20 friends.

Do you have two good friends that if the car broke down, all of y'all would find a way home. You would find a way together. You would find a way. That's the kind of friend I want to be. And if I can't have those kinds of friends around me, I'm good. I'm good. Exactly.

[01:06:17] Fawn: I, I consider those friends, family, my family, and, and I will speak for Matt too. He's very quiet today. I will speak for all of us here, Matt, the kids, Elle and Allegra, and myself, that Ray, Vanessa, you are our family. I am so happy. We are so happy to have you in our lives. And I, I love you. We love you so much.

[01:06:46] Vanessa: We love you. We love you. I love you all. You know, I fell in love with you all the first time I ever did an interview with you. Uh, Matt's energy is so high and so very, very powerful. And the two of you together are like plug-in socket. You know, once the two together, the energy is just popping and that, that means everything for a relationship and we consider you family, and we're all plugged in together. And that's a good

thing.

[01:07:18] Fawn: My deepest desire right now

[01:07:21] Matt: is to go to France.

[01:07:22] Fawn: Well, it was when you told me you guys were going, we're like, we're going too, we're moving. The boxes are being packed. My desire is to live near you and to, to share more conversations with you, both. Ray, Vanessa, truly,

thank you. Love you so much. And

[01:07:44] Matt: thank you so much for carving out time during your big trip. Definitely very much appreciated.

[01:07:50] Fawn: And

[01:07:53] Vanessa: we love you.

[01:07:56] Fawn: I can't wait to hear about the dinner, so we'll talk

[01:07:58] Vanessa: soon.

[01:08:04] Fawn: I'm sorry, Ray, could you repeat that?.

[01:08:06] Ray: Which dinner. There's so many that talk about

[01:08:10] Fawn: every morsel all day, every day. We're all about food here. Like I want to know everything. I get so excited by food.

[01:08:19] Ray: Yes. It's a barbecue place. Not too far from

[01:08:22] Vanessa: us. That we're really shocked with that. We're going to go to tonight. We're going to walk around the corner and check it out.

Like they have barbecue in France. Okay. Check it out. We've

[01:08:34] Ray: been learning. If there's a line, the food is good though. It's like, well, I don't want to wait in line. I don't want to be in a crowded

restaurant,

[01:08:42] Vanessa: but if it's not, you might be disappointed. So

[01:08:45] Fawn: would

you mind looking for a line that goes to a vegan place and telling us about that?

[01:08:53] Ray: Yeah. There are tons of vegan places. Paris,

[01:09:00] Vanessa: goodness. It's like, it's got to be about five or six on every corner. It's amazing.

[01:09:05] Ray: Yeah, it'd be every day we go out. In fact, we saw one

[01:09:08] Vanessa: today. Yep. When, when, when you and Matt come back, you are not going to be disappointed every,

[01:09:15] Ray: and then there's a slowly place I want to go to

[01:09:17] Fawn: tomorrow. I want to hear all about it.

Okay. Love you. You're running late. You better go. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you so much. Love you so much.

[01:09:29] Vanessa: Okay. Love you too. Bye bye now.



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Episode Transcript

TRANSCRIPT – The French Connection With Vanessa and Ray [00:00:00] Fawn: Hello, welcome to our friendly world, everyone. Okay, look, look, look, look, look okay if you can't, if you can't see me. Listen, listen, listen, listen to this. And if you can't, if you can't understand the words that I'm saying, like you speak another language. If you can't speak the same language, I want you to feel me out. Just feel me out. I have a message for you. Most of you listening know where the message came from. Where was I when I got the message? Nevermind. Don't say it, but you all know the one room where I receive messages, my guidance of what I'm supposed to do comes and it came today. And I'm so happy to share today with you because we have two beautiful guests. I'm so excited. I've been giggly since we found out yesterday. So the message is, this is what I heard today, that, and this goes for you, Matt, because it came with like computer jargon that we're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go. And as I heard this, I remembered certain examples. So I was a teenager. I worked at this camera store in LA. It was right next door to UCLA. And most of our clientele were, either doctors or professors at UCLA that would come in and I worked the film counter, the processing counter, the film processing. , one of our customers was a professor and she spoke like six or seven different languages. And so one day I was looking at her and I was saying, you know, sometimes I can read people's minds. Like it comes and goes, but I can completely feel, hear and see things in people. And she's like, that's really interesting. Are you, do you speak any other languages? So I told her the languages I speak. She told me hers. I did not speak any languages that she spoke. Oh, I'm so excited. And I'm out of breath. Okay. So here's what happened. So she's like, all right, let's do an experiment for a quick second. I will tell you something different things in different languages and let's see what happens. So I braced myself, we connected, I looked into her eyes. She was looking into my eyes. I felt open. Like there was, uh, an open highway between us and she started talking and then she stopped. And then I repeated what she said in English. I did not speak the language she spoke, but I understood what she said and I can't do it all the time. And we started screaming like, oh, it was so great. And so that example of that has actually happened to me on the road. So as I'm photographing different projects around the planet, I have definitely been in areas where the people of that area do not have any care for, or like any, um, consciousness about the government, about, about the lines that are designated to say, this is Ethiopia, this is Kenya. Do you know what I mean? They have no, no. Uh, what's the word for it, Matt? They don't care. It's not that they don't care about. It's not in their consciousness to say, oh, I live in Ethiopia. Each tribe had their own language. You know, like we were far out, there were, they were an entity, uh, a family of their own, not controlled by any government. Right. And so, as I was photographing the people, and a lot of people asked me, like, how do you end up photographing the people that you photograph though? This is what happens. There's this connection that you feel wherever you go. And I would be sitting with these people and women in particular, and they were just talking amongst themselves. And I had the great the great blessing of being able to be with them. But once in a while, it's like something clicked and I understood every word they were saying; everything. And they understood me. I was speaking English and they understood me. They were speaking and I completely knew what they were talking about and we communicated that way. And those are the people I photographed. So, um, but that, again goes to the message I got today this morning, which is everyone is encoded with a special gift. And one of those is the ability to communicate that your fabulousness translates wherever you go, which leads us to today because everybody, we have the beautiful Vanessa Brantley-Newton and her wonderful, amazing handsome husband, Ray, everyone. Yay. Welcome. And Matt is here too. Matt [00:05:07] Matt: I'm [00:05:10] Fawn: here. Thank you so much for joining us and guys guess where Vanessa and Ray are right now. [00:05:19] Ray: Is it [00:05:19] Matt: California or Texas. [00:05:21] Fawn: Where are you? [00:05:23] Vanessa: aaaaaah...Bonjour! We are in Paris, France. We are here finally. [00:05:32] Fawn: Actually, we knew where you were. We're so excited. We've been planning this for a few months. Now you told us about this and we're so we're so happy. I'm like Vanessa, we have to record when you're in Paris and we want Ray with us. Ray. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. (Ray says "Bonjour!") And it's perfect because our biggest audience outside of the United States is France. We love France so much. [00:06:03] Vanessa: Yes. [00:06:04] Fawn: So grateful. And so the focus today being connection, we are talking about, oh, you know, what should you pack? And what's it going to be like, and you spoke with my friend Martine and we were talking about what is it like there? And I haven't been back to France. It's been a while since I've been there. So I really don't know what it's like. I cannot wait to hear all the details about your trip. And also I knew, first of all, you're such a wonderful caring couple. You're so brilliant. You're so loving. You have so much, so many gifts that you offer everyone wherever you go. I knew the French would love you. I knew the whole country would embrace you. You know, I'm like, didn't I say, didn't I say that Vanessa I'm like, Vanessa, please go full force. [00:06:59] Vanessa: You really did. You, you really did it. And I have to say we've been here, uh, Crazy stuff happened in America, of course, trying to get here, delayed, delayed, delayed, delayed again, and delayed again. And we finally get to France and I have to say sometimes delays are a good thing because what it actually did was we were supposed to fly from Charlotte, into Philadelphia and then from Philadelphia into London and then from London to France. And what happened was because of the delay, the flight attendant said, I'm going to put you on a flight now straight to London, and then a two hour flight from London to Paris. And we got here quicker than we thought, you know? So that was, that was awesome. We'll never do third party, travel again. That third party thing [00:07:57] Fawn: texted me about that. I don't know what that is. What is third party? [00:08:01] Vanessa: Third third party, when you are doing, you know, there used to be a time where you could go into a travel agency and sit with them and plan the whole trip. Now everything is done online, you know, especially because of COVID, you know, you really don't get to go into offices anymore and to travel. So there was two travel agents that I had been dealing with for a long time and nobody could get me the price that was really good for us, on the date, that was really good for us. And so I did it myself, but I did it through a third party, which was Cheapo Air. Avoid Cheapo Air. Avoid them! They are the plague of, um, we, we, we talk about Spirit Airline and that Spirit Airline will steal your spirit. Okay. Cheapo Airline is worse than Spirit. The name speaks for itself, I would say, , for this trip and for future trips for Ray and I, we will definitely be doing the other end, just letting you know, just pay the price, fly well, and fly straight to where you're going and fly straight home. [00:09:16] Ray: If you're, let's say you're flying with one bag and your country hopping it's okay. [00:09:24] Vanessa: Yeah, [00:09:25] Ray: because they give you, a budget economy on everything. So it [00:09:31] Vanessa: has its pluses and minuses it has its pluses and minuses, but, um, yeah, no, not for us, but I will say, getting to the Novotel Hotel and meeting the staff, even with the little bit of French that we are speaking, they have been so kind and just, I find this is very, very true, especially for Americans who are listening who are going to other countries. It's so important that you learn the basics before you go; hello, goodbye, thank you, please. Can you help me? That kind of thing. The French even laugh at us. I mean, they were laughing at us like, you know, but it's, we'll help you. We, you know, we, we tried a little bit goes a long way. When you walk into the stores, you need to say "Bonjour", when you walk in, when you leave, you need to say, Au revoir. Or, you know, at least let them know that you're leaving; something, you need to say, thank you, merci beaucoup, you know, when they give you a fork or knife or an, or a menu, say those niceties and watch the whole atmosphere change [00:10:44] Fawn: and acknowledge, acknowledge the people, human beings that are bringing you the most delicious nourishing feast, right? Matt, Matt. Um, I met Matt and Aikido, Ray. We met in a martial arts school. And so Matt was the teacher's pet at this martial arts school. And I came in like the Tasmanian devil. I talk about this all the time because I came in with mixed martial arts background. Like I, I came in ready to break knees and elbows like, and I'm very short on a very, very good day. Maybe I'm reaching five feet tall. Matt is six, four, but I am like the Tasmanian devil coming into this very spiritual, school. And so they had to teach me things, but one of them was to calm down because I want it, I want it to hit people. I want to do. I wanted to throw everything and there, they actually told me now, now we don't hit here. Like I was in kindergarten. I'm like, what do you mean we don't hit here? What are you doing? What are we here for? So they taught me this concept. Actually, Matt taught me this concept of the world is your home. And you are the host. Walking down the street, walking anywhere you go, it is your home. And it's your job to welcome people and make people feel comfortable. So your host, your, how do you say it, Matt? You said it so brilliantly years ago. And you keep [00:12:16] Matt: saying terrible today [00:12:17] Fawn: though. Matt is terrible when I put them on the spot, but basically whoever you meet, you're welcoming them into your home because the world is your home. And so to have eye contact and to say, thank you. And, oh my goodness. I remember, you know, when I travel, you can always spot Americans because for example, you're in, at a bakery, they will point at something and almost exactly almost touch it and say, gimme, gimme that one. Give me, oh, no, [00:12:50] Matt: no. He used to, to, but my Lord, I do at some sometimes [00:12:55] Fawn: because I was around and I would have a fit. [00:12:58] Matt: I got a hand raised from Ray. Yes. Right. [00:13:02] Fawn: I think [00:13:05] Matt: give me that one. No no, not that one. That one, that one [00:13:12] Fawn: I come in, I'm like, Ooh, it's so [00:13:15] Vanessa: beautiful. May have that one????. [00:13:21] Ray: It's like going into a donut shop. I have three of those, five of these six, if you're just pointing, I don't want to name them. It takes too long, just point grunt. [00:13:34] Vanessa: And I find some men, men thing, but I find too, like, like you said, fun, it is very American. It is, it is so American. I mean, um, at times I'm embarrassed even while here, cause we've seen some Americans it's rather embarrassing and it is, you know, now I know, oh, I get why the French don't particularly care for Americans. Now I have to tell you and Matt, being here in France, Ray and I have really counted the black or colored people that we've seen here on visitation. I mean, you know, walking down the street or going into a restaurant or a store or whatever. Yeah. You see people of color, you know, walking around and everything. Just say vacation. There's, you know, there's a bunch of black people. My niece who, lives in Charlotte and, goes to Dubai, just came back from France, what about three weeks ago was here three days. They were only here three days, you know, but she travels and she learns so much from the travel about, you know, customs. This is why it's so important to learn people's language, learn their customs, you know, that in France, okay, any time after three, most restaurants are closed. They'll open up again at seven o'clock find other things to do, you know? Um, it is, uh, it is brilliant. I think that's why they don't walk around as stressed. Oh, walk around as, um, uh, occupied with so many different things. Even the way they dress; Ray and I had a chance to sit at a little restaurant called Dino today, and we sat and we, people watched while we ate, and seeing older French women walk up and down the street in their high heel shoes and their suits, their Chanel bags and, just very classy, very, um, very sophisticated, very French. It was, it was amazing. It was amazing. [00:15:44] Fawn: There's a sense of integrity and a sense of self-worth that everyone carries with them. And I think that's true. That's the true style right there, because you can wear anything. You can wear a potato sack. Do you remember? I remember watching our Lucille Ball episode where they went, I think it was Paris. They were in Paris and she wanted all these designer things. And then Ricky, Ricky said, oh, look, here's a designer. Cause he was too cheap to buy her the designer stuff. And he literally gave her a potato sacks with like hats. Do you remember that? [00:16:20] Vanessa: Did you ever see that? But one of the best episodes ever, that was really good. [00:16:25] Fawn: And so, and when she found out she was mad and then later they found all these models on a photo-shoot wearing the same potato sacks. [00:16:34] Vanessa: I mean, it looks amazing. Yes. Yes. [00:16:38] Fawn: So it's all about, it's all about the vibe. It's all about self-worth and you know, the value that you hold about yourself and others. That is key, not only for yourself, but for others [00:16:51] Matt: and to communicate taking us back to our central point. Obviously, if you feel comfortable, if you feel accepting adventurous, like, Ooh, I want to see, you know, I want you to describe, then you're going to have better communications with people. [00:17:06] Fawn: Okay. There was this one day. I have so many French stories because I love the French so much. Uh, but one story was, I was trying to, I was actually on my way back, I was, I was a student in England and every chance I had gone, I was in France. Every chance I got and you know, it's so close, so you can just in two hours be there. I was late for finals. I was in France and I had to quickly get back to England to take my exams. And I was freaking out because I was lost in Paris. I was by myself and I was really lost, you guys, like I had no idea where transportation was like, I don't know how I got myself to where I was and I was starting to panic, like panic. And this, this man comes closer to me and I'm shaking my hands. And like, I'm like freaking out. I go up to him and I lost all my senses because in English I'm like, excuse me, excuse me, sir. And he started laughing. He was just laughing. And, and then in French, he's like, you, you speak French, don't you? And then, so I responded, yes, yes. I totally speak French. He's like, well, ask me in French. I'm like, oh my God, I'm freaking out. He's like, that's okay. That's okay. In English. He's like, tell me in French. So, but you know what? No, it was not an ouch moment. It was loving because even though he was saying those words and it seems uncomfortable and mean, it wasn't at all because he had the most beautiful spirit about him. And he was, he was looking at me in the eyes as a human being and he was smiling and he just saw, he just saw the comedy in it. He was like, and he made me slow down and he made me take a breath. And then I started speaking in French and he's like, there you go. And then he's like, okay, go this way. It's right there. [00:19:11] Ray: No, that happened. That happened to me today. Sorry to cut you off. While we're in the candy store, the woman in the store was talking Spanish to me and I comprehended it, but I couldn't respond. I froze and I felt bad. I should be speaking fluent Spanish, but the days when it'll flow and there are days when it ain't coming out. And today was the day where it didn't come out. She's trying to talk to me. And all I could think of was my mother, my mother, my mother, because all I remember was every time I heard Spanish from an older woman, it was my mother disciplining me. And for that moment, nothing came out of my mouth. And when we left the store, I felt ashamed that I should be speaking this and I just panicked it wasn't there. [00:20:02] Vanessa: It was a beautiful moment though. We went to a little candy shop called Maison Bossier it is some of my favorite chocolate. We went in and I mean, when I tell you the store is so tiny, this store was probably started somewhere and the very, very early 18 hundreds. And it's still in the same area, same store, everything. I mean, they even still have the old receipts and the shelves, nothing is like new, except for the candy and the iPad that they do the transaction on, but the store is gorgeous and the woman was so, so very, very kind. I came in and, , I, said bonjour , parlez-vous Englais? And she said, you know, a little, you know, she speaks a little bit. And uh, she goes, I speak Spanish. And then she looked at; when Ray said. He, uh, that he could comprehend. She began to speak to him and she began to ask him, but it was such a beautiful moment. There was another woman that came in and she was a woman of color. She came in and, um, I think they were shocked at how much chocolate we bought. I think we almost emptied the store. It was ridiculous. How much time I... seriously y'all we spent about $400 in chocolate. That's how that's how much chocolate that's how much I love it because you can't get it here in America. This is my first trip to France and won't be my last one, but it will be my, my only one for a while. And, um, just the woman sitting there; and this is so much about what you were talking about earlier about communication. she spoke to the black woman that was sitting there in French and the black woman turned to us and she said to us, she said, your spirit is so beautiful. And I wanted to cry. She said, I, she said, your spirit is so beautiful. And she says, thank you for coming in. And I was like, you know, I knew "merci beaucoup," but you know, she, she was telling us I really like her and that meant everything to me. That meant everything to me. So you know what it is too, is your energy; how you walk in a room, people perceive you before you even open your mouth and say anything. I walked into Shakespeare company, we go there and of course it's a tourist trap, everybody and their mother is walking around. And, I get the book that I wanted for my daughter and I'm walking up to the counter and I go "merci beaucoup". And the woman says in English, I love your energy. Your energy is everything. It really is so important that we have a right attitude ourselves and when we walk into a room. It's not the other person's responsibility to respond to you. It's about you walking in the room and commanding their attention, whether they want it or not, and whether they want to walk past you and act like you don't exist or whatever. And I'm not saying everybody's here in France has been nice. So we have a breakfast the other morning, and it was a young lady who was not, she was not happy to see me. I don't know what it was, but I, you know, I, I, I'm a woman of faith. I sat there and I prayed for her. I said, maybe she's having a rough day. I don't know she's having a rough day, but the waiter, oh my goodness; kissed me and everything. You know, it's, it's, it's not everybody, but you know one person, all the other five people that I met today, just beautiful. [00:23:54] Fawn: Yeah. And it totally makes sense because the world is your home. You are the host, you, you, it is your job to welcome people. And you just do that naturally. Vanessa, you didn't have to go to our martial arts school to be told that, you know, uh, once in Paris and I was with my friend, Abe, Abe Moss, wherever you are, I miss you so much. I wish you could reach out to us. Abe Moss had a very famous dad and everything, like he led a pretty cushy life, I think, but we were, we were, and he hated Paris, by the way, he hated Paris. I'm like, oh, I love it here so much. Come on, come on. Let's go walking together. He's like, I hate it. Just walk with me to the train station. Cause I want to get out of here. I'm like, all right, I'll go with you to the train station. So, you know, the world works in very funny ways. So we're at the train station. And remember I told you about pickpockets, Vanessa, like yeah. Uh, the it's it's um, he was so very graciously pick-pocketed because he didn't realize it had happened until he was about to get on a train. And he realized his wallet was gone. His passport was, everything was gone off of his body. Like he didn't feel anything. He was so distraught. He's like, I gotta call my dad. I'm like, don't call your dad. We're okay. We're okay. But call him later. Let's try to figure things out and do what we can here and then call your dad and let him pull the strings. Right. Let's just, just, just humor me for a second. He's like, okay. He was so upset. Well, of course, but I'm saying like, but here's what happened. We went, I'm like, let's go to the police station and just fill out a report and see where we can w how we can, um, get ahold of the embassy and get, get something started with your passport. So we go to the, uh, the police state. And you guys, long story short Abe is sitting there with his head, his face and his hand, and he's mumbling. And then he finally kind of, he doesn't yell at me, but he's like "Fawn, I am so glad you are having a good time" because, well, I was translating for him because I was trying to fill out the police report in French. Right. So I was translating the thing is that the police officer first, her police, the police officer was really, really cute. [00:26:24] Matt: Oh dear. [00:26:27] Fawn: And then the police officer asked me out on a date, [00:26:33] Matt: well, you don't want to be with him. [00:26:35] Fawn: I was so happy. Like he was the sweetest person. And anyway, it's a long story, but we ended up going the Louvre after that. And we ended up having a good day, Abe and I. But the thing is that meeting this police officer, because I have a fear of police. Like I have like my whole body chemistry changes with police, but this police officer taught me so much about the culture and, about France. He was the kindest person and he ended up shortly after that, not being a police officer anymore, he said to me, Fawn, I'm going to get fired because I don't give anyone tickets. He was the sweetest person. So after that, he became a school bus driver for kindergartners in his, in his hometown, in France he's but like just, you know, it's about your spirit. Like my spirit was like very open and loving about the whole culture, the whole France, you know, and of course I met the most loving police officer to help. You know, an officer who loved all humanity and stuck up for everyone and would never give anyone a ticket. [00:27:49] Vanessa: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's amazing. That is amazing. We have the same fear, but you know, it, uh, even, even while being here, uh, there's a couple that we watch, Ray and I. They're called the Les Frenchies I don't know if you ever heard of them or not. They are a online, a YouTube, a couple that travel France. They go back and forth to America, but for the most part, they stay here in France and they give you all kinds of tips for when you travel to France, what restaurants to go to, do you go to aboulangerie? Do you go to a patisserie? Do you go to a tourist trap restaurant or do you go to a restaurant that is a more of a street restaurant where the locals will go. What Ray and I found out was that, yeah, you want to go to those boulangeries and quick street food that they talked about because they're intermingling with the community and the food is [00:28:54] Ray: delicious. You know, as a traveler, you're eating a delicious meal for not a expensive price, and we've started doing it, going to the street, restaurants and [00:29:07] Vanessa: soups [00:29:08] Ray: and Vanessa spirit brightens up the place. And we usually get discounts or free things. [00:29:14] Vanessa: The day we walked into Sephora. And I really went in there to just get some stuff that was confiscated when we came into the country. Really wasn't going in there to shop and was not going to buy myself a mother's day gift or anything like that. And ended up with a bag of stuff because of the sales woman, , shout out to July, that was her name July. July was just delighted and excited that somebody from America was there. And I think she was delighted because the attitude was one of: it's so nice to meet you. It's so nice to be here with you. And, , she kept saying the same thing, your spirit, your spirit. And so spirit is very, very important. If you're watching negative things. If you're having negative conversations, if you lack confidence, if you lack self-esteem that comes across when you meet people. I, you know, there was a time when I wasn't able to look people in the eye. Now I look you in the eye. I speak to you. There was a time where I would say hello, and now I'm like, HELLO! BOUNJOUR! , you know, it's more lively. And it's because I have confidence in Vanessa. And that confidence is not a cockiness. There's two different things. Conseit and confidence is two different things. Confident that if you get to know me, you'll like me. And I, you, the same thing, even in not understanding your language, the kindness that comes across even, from, got in the car, Ray and I got in the car with a taxi driver named Vincent. Vincent drove us from the airport. He was so sweet. And so kind, and before I got out of the car, I put my hand on his shoulder and I said, "Bonsoir" you know, and, "Merci beaucoup". And he was like, oh, you speak French very well and everything. And I introduced myself, to him, and he was just so kind, but the gesture of putting my hand on his shoulder connected us in a way where he was like, you are not like the Americans that come and just we're here to serve you. That's it, we're just servants. [00:31:31] Ray: And knowing Vanessa I've seen her transform. When I first met her, Vanessa was very shy. Her hair used to cover half her face. It's like she was hiding. But I noticed when we used to work in the hospital together, she had a very bright smile, no matter how much she tried to cover her face, her smile would, it was bright. And I used to always tell her, you need to move your hair back and show your smile and well, it worked. Um, she she's my wife now, but that's what I saw in her. I saw that energy. It was there. It it's like confidence. And we're going through that now with our daughter [00:32:14] Vanessa: confidence. [00:32:16] Matt: Yeah, I have to say confidence, first of all is catching. If someone around you is confident, you're much more likely to be confident. As well, as they've noticed certain things, like, I work fully remote and I like working with teams where I can see the people I work with. If you don't, if you can't see the people you work with, I mean, they're basically closing themselves off. They're telling you, they don't want to talk to you. They feel less confident. Your team on the whole feels like it's kind of spiraling down. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. And it's interesting. Something that they discovered was, cause sociologists or psychologists love doing experiments, especially with zoom now. But they noticed like at the end of a meeting that, they had somebody just start waving like crazy and it took about two or three weeks and then everybody would wave goodbye and everybody felt better about everything at that point. I mean, it's just, you know, if you go looking for happiness, you're going to find it. If you go look into misery, you're going to find it. Go looking for happiness. [00:33:13] Fawn: And also , it's a physical thing too. Like, they teach you that, like, let's say before you go into a huge meeting or a presentation or whatever situation where you are on, there's a, what, what is the superhero it's called the power pose. So like for five minutes by yourself, in a room, you just stand with your feet, hip distance apart, and your hands on your hips, Vanessa is doing it right now. I wish we had video. And your, your chin up [00:33:48] Matt: Vanessa practically looks divine. [00:33:50] Fawn: She is, SHE IS DIVINE. . [00:33:52] Matt: Like, you know, Jesus divine, my goodness. [00:33:55] Fawn: She is, she is GODDESS there's a [00:33:57] Matt: light on you when you did that. My goodness. [00:34:00] Vanessa: Okay. If I tell you Matt and Fawn, I learned that, it was just before I did my Ted Talk about five years ago. I wasn't lacking confidence, but I was a little intimidated by this audience. We were in Sonoma, California, and it was during the fires when everything had everybody rich, poor had lost everything and the community had come together and we really, it was like 18 speakers. And I was, I'm always either the first one or the last one, but I was, I was the last speaker. And, um, I remember my sister saying, you need to do the super superhero stance. And she taught it to me and I remember standing there and doing it. And he made me do it for the whole five minutes. And I walked out on stage and delivered, a speech that got a standing ovation, over 700 and some odd people, but really what touched me, where the tears and people crying and bringing them joy, just sharing my little story, but not expecting it to be a standing ovation type of situation. But that superhero stance does something to your spirit. It actually ignites your experience of your spirit to, to go to another level. Not like I said,not in conceit, but in that I can do this. I, you know, I think we should really teach children this stance. [00:35:35] Fawn: They know that stance. I think we, I think society unteaches them. [00:35:40] Vanessa: Oh, definitely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Who are you? What's the, what's so special about you. Can you go and we as parents, we really have to be advocates for our children, where this is concerned. This is not the teacher's responsibility. So for all of you will think it's the teacher's responsibility. It is not the teacher's responsibility. It is not even the marshal. If your, if your child's in the martial arts, I am a Tai Chi, studier. This is not something your Tai-Chi master has to teach you or your teacher or whatever. This is something that parents need to do with their children. Join as a family. Today, you're going to go to school and you're going to ACE that test. I'm going to tell you how you're going to do it. We're going to pray. We're going to, we're going to say some affirmations, and then you're going to stand there for five minutes in your superhero. [00:36:31] Ray: It's funny. We were going over that. Well, our daughter was about nine years old and she was a big wrestling fan and it was this one wrestler that used to talk with so much confidence. He sounded cocky. And I told her before the exam, think that you are him because he talks it, he walks it, he shows it and she did it and she aced the exams. And it's amazing how self-awareness. But when as young children, we beat each other up. Yeah. Cause I'm having a bad day. So I'm gonna take it out on you. But like, as Vanessa would say, it's up to the parents to reassure, to recharge. It's not you it's him. It's her. Be the best you can. People. And as you grow up, you realize people are always out here to beat you down. If they're having a bad day, like the waiter in the restaurant. Okay, fine. You're having a bad day, but God bless you. I'm okay. Whatever it is bothering you. Sorry, but me being a new Yorker, I wouldn't care. You're having a bad day. Oh, that's too bad. That's too bad. Here's a sarcastic remark to take with you. [00:37:46] Vanessa: But, but, but he's learned, you know, on that very same thing, but that superhero thing is so very, very powerful [00:37:53] Fawn: And they found out that it affects other people. So they did this blind study where they had one group do the power pose, and then they had one group that didn't and they were all going on job interviews, the ones that did, and they all had the same qualifications, the ones that did the power pose, all got the job. People can sense it. It's on another level. And also they did this study with like people who go on what's that show, uh, Shark Tank, the ones that show themselves coming in. And using their hands. So you can see their hands, even as I'm talking and no one can see us. When I use my hands, you're able to understand me better when I use my hands. It's a scientific thing that they've looked into that if you let your, if you let your body move, there's a better form of communication. The other person receives things that you're saying, if you sit on your hands and do it, they don't hear you. It's really interesting. [00:38:56] Ray: So being a new Yorker that's um, I'm [00:38:58] Vanessa: okay. That and [00:39:02] Fawn: Ray, Ray, we've been wanting to talk to you for the longest time because you have that engineer mind, which is Matt also. And we're just wondering, can you tell us about how you all work together? Just as a quick example, I'm completely illogical. Matt is logical. He's also very spiritual, but he won't let it go [00:39:23] Matt: illogical, say your intuitive. Say you make decisions based more on emotion. Don't say your it's like saying I'm not something I don't, I don't like that. [00:39:32] Fawn: illogical (emphasizing like a robot). I just put ill right on it. I do it on purpose to just explain how radically different we are in the way we operate. I'm not saying actually Matt is highly spiritual and like very intuitive, but like, we were just wondering how does that work? And, and also, oh, I also, I know you have dinner plans coming up, so I like want to squeeze everything in really quick, Vanessa. I want to see how you, I want to know what you've been seeing and what you feel translates in a person. Like what's the first thing that translates to you. The first time I ever heard you speak was in your class actually. And you described someone's shoes as being extremely pointy. I think you said that. And that I think about that all the time, because you know, I just want to know how things get translated to you, to your spirit when you're out in the world and Ray, how did things get translated to you and how do you translate to others? Because you know, here, Matt, can you speak on this? Speak engineer, talk. How does it, how does it work? How do you work together? Are you opposites? Like, are you opposites in the way you see the world and the way you operate and communicate? Well, [00:40:56] Ray: I think Vanessa would see the colors I'm seeing how they were made. And yeah, as, as an engineer, I, I, when somebody will ask me a question, I'll give you the answer and all the details behind it and the history. Some people don't want to hear that. Just tell me the answer. My brother used to get annoyed. He would ask me a question and I'm going to give you the whole technical way out of it because it's, I'm nerdy. Yeah. That's I love to give information and I still do that. And sometimes it's annoying and, but now I'm catching myself. They don't want to know just give them the answer, that's it, but on the inside, I'm bolting with energy to explain, Hey, and by the way, and give you more information. And a lot of people, they don't want to hear it. And as an engineer, I go from being technical for eight to 10 hours a day to nobody wants to hear it. So for me, it hurts sometimes when I'm ever around my family, nobody's into engineering, but thankfully I have a niece and nephew they're interested in the space program and they can ask me, I could sit down and talk with them and they're only 11 and 12 years old, but I felt it. I want to regurgitate all this information to them because it's how I learned. I asked questions. I was around nerdy people and it's nice to be around somebody who can speak your language as a nerd. And the world today, I was told, told nerds are cool now thank you. But there was a time when we were shunned, scorned made fun of, but to know that now it's popular to be this way, but I have to find the people to be with [00:42:45] Vanessa: absolutely [00:42:46] Ray: because not everybody wants to know how a rocket goes in the air and what happens, [00:42:51] Vanessa: you know, and I will say too, as, as Ray, as a man and, I'm a woman, we do speak differently. There would be times when Ray would come in from work and my whole thing was much like a puppy. Hi, sweetie, HOW ARE YOU? How was your day? And he's like, bring it down a notch. I didn't, you know, [00:43:10] Ray: let's, you can figure out this equation problem. I don't want to talk to you. [00:43:14] Vanessa: Yes. And I'm going to go to the basement and I don't want to hear your voice until I come upstairs, you know? And it wasn't, it wasn't this whole, for all my feminists out there, please don't feel like, oh, he was just trying to shut a sister down. That's not what he was doing. It is, my mind has been on engineering all day. I have to defrag for a second. And once I defrag, then we can kind of have a conversation about the baby, my day and all that went on with my day. Me, you know, uh, Ray teases me still now, Matt and Fawn. He goes: if somebody called you at three o'clock in the morning, you would still answer the phone pleasantly. Wouldn't you? It would never be hello. It's never that, hi, what's going on? At 3am in the morning. He goes, somebody, you know, I'm calling, tell you that so-and-so died. Oh, I'm so sorry. You know, then I'd , bring it down. But it is like that. And it's always been like that for me, I guess for me working in a hospital, there was never an off button for, uh, for me. So, uh, and then I was doing the job that nobody wanted. I was a phlebotomist, which is a vampire basically. And I was walking into people's rooms, being cursed out. Most of the time didn't want me, uh, the, the worst were having parents who would say, like, I was a dog. I was going to be sicced onto their child to take blood. If you don't behave, I'm going to have that lady over there, stick you. Why would you do that? I'm here to help the kid. I'm not here to hurt your kid. I'm here to help you and the kid. You don't want the doctor to come in here and draw the blood doctor, come in and tell the blood. You will lose it, really will lose it, but it was very hurtful. And what I had to do was not internalize it. In a hospital. You get to see everybody. This is the one thing that I've learned. And I think it's why I am the way that I am. Sickness doesn't care what color you are. Doesn't care if you're a man or a woman doesn't care. If you're a kid doesn't care. If you were just born or you're 105 years old, it doesn't care if you live in Hollywood, it doesn't care that you're Gabrielle Union or Tom Hanks. It don't care. It doesn't care. And I had to kind of put on that attitude. So when I walked in the room and somebody would tell me,get out of my room, or whatever, they were cussing me out or whatever, not to really take it to heart. You're in a hospital. You're not feeling good. You might've gotten some bad news from a doctor. You don't want to hear from nobody. Okay. So, so I had to learn how to kind of bring it down. It's not about you, it's about your patient. And I kind of have that attitude when it comes to people. I E the waitress that was not so nice. I looked at her most of the night, what's going on with you because much like you fawn, I am spiritual much like Matt as well. Very, very spiritual. I pick up people's spirits. I could tell there was something that was going on with her. And also that she was struggling a little bit with the color. I knew that, but I'm like, that's when you, because I watched her how she took care of the other customers that came in that were not my color. She was very kind to them, not so kind to me. And the way that she spoke to her coworker, who was the color that I am not very kind to him as well. So I'm like you you're having a struggle or whatever, but you know, it is, it is what it is, but I have to stay grounded that way in kindness because with the low self-esteem, with the lack of confidence, it brings the energy down so low that it radiates to where cancer starts, where depression starts, where all kinds of sadness, diseases, everything start at 42 megs. When you start getting into love and acceptance, that's when we get into the hundreds, the five hundreds and then enlightenment, which is a thousand Watts. That's where I want to be; enlightened. So I would shut my mouth and not say anything, if it will bring peace. Does that make sense? [00:47:39] Fawn: Absolutely. And it makes sense because when you have that light it casts a light on all the darkness out there. Yes. [00:47:47] Vanessa: Yes. I [00:47:49] Ray: wish I had her confidence. I'm the opposite. I grew up in a very confrontational environment. So being around Vanessa has taught me everything doesn't even need a reaction. So I'm learning to just shut up, let it go. [00:48:10] Vanessa: But which is very hard. I mean, cause um, Ray comes from a family that will do, what's called the, does its, where they'll sit there and they'll crack on eachother. [00:48:18] Ray: We would just verbally tear each other to pieces. [00:48:20] Vanessa: Verbal, verbally tear each other to pieces. [00:48:22] Ray: And, , that is what's baked into me plus a little bit of Groucho Marx. So that's my defense mechanism. I'm going to cut you up sarcastically and enjoy it. And, but as an adult, I can't do that. And I have to learn how to shut it off because it's a reaction from me can create the wrong compensation. Right? Exactly. Yeah. Let it go. [00:48:51] Fawn: And I find that an engineer kind of mind there, there's a certain tone that comes out once in a while that you may not mean. For example, we bought a house a years ago. And we were trying to get things done in it very, very quickly. Like we needed flooring and we couldn't find any company to come in and do it within the timeline that we had. And Matt, I said, Matt, please, can you call this list that I have? And he did. And there was one woman he spoke to who said, I'm really busy now with so many clients. I can't do the work for you. And Matt said, "good for you," but he [00:49:29] Matt: exactly good for you. I'm really happy. [00:49:32] Fawn: No, but he was genuinely happy because back then I was starting my business. We were really conscious of small businesses, mom and pop businesses, which she was. And so he literally was genuinely happy for her, but because of his mind and his Mo state and his, you know, when you're in a car in front of the computer all day, [00:49:53] Matt: Beyond in a logical state. [00:49:55] Fawn: So very logical. And so she got so offended [00:50:00] Matt: and she should have, because I did come across as an a-hole, I didn't mean [00:50:03] Fawn: to, but yeah. Uh, I had to call her and say, this is what he meant. And so she calmed down, [00:50:09] Ray: I could see engineers, we were trying to resolve deluge with trying to figure things out. That is our purpose to figure things out. And if I have a list of alternatives, once you tell me no I'm going on, but I may come back to you if I feel we can work something out. But time is of the essence with engineers. It's always get it fixed yesterday. You give me 10 people and nine out of 10, it's going to give me the answer I don't want to hear I'm hanging up the phone immediately. Let's move on. There's nothing you could do for me. It's not, I'm not being rude, but I need an answer quickly [00:50:46] Vanessa: and much. Like what Matt said, uh, you know, his answer was great, you're working it wasn't she took it as, oh, you're being sarcastic. And that wasn't the case at all. You're busy. Great. Wonderful, good for you!. [00:50:59] Ray: I got move on. Sorry. Next thing. That's just the way it we're we're we're built like Vanessa would know that. Well, she wouldn't know I would come home sometimes trying to figure something out and there's a team of us and it's taken us days, sometimes weeks the burden is on somebody to lead up the team. So we bring it home and that's how we think. I'm not here to dabble. I'm here to get it right. And sometimes it comes across as too cocky, but it's like you hired somebody to come and fix the problem and leave. I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to get paid through my job, go home. And when I was in aerospace, that was my demeanor. In the later years, when I realized I knew what I was doing, I knew who I was, and I don't have time. Because time is wasted. I have a bunch of projects on my desk and I need to finish them. The problems never stopped. That's why our minds are so matter of fact, yeah, you finished one problem, there is another. And you know, you going on vacation is still a problem. People are calling you, sending you emails. I don't know I'm on holiday. Leave me alone. Right. That's just the way it is. We're not rude. We're engineers. [00:52:13] Fawn: And some people, some people use it as their whole, um, their whole shtick. Like I'm going to give you another martial arts example. We went to a Sumo match one day, Matt and I went to a Sumo match and was the guy Māori? The guy that would yell with his mouth wide open. [00:52:32] Matt: He was a Pacific Islander. He was, [00:52:35] Fawn: this guy was very intimidating looking the tattoos, very, very big Sumo big, but like they had different classes of big, by the way, they had very thin female Sumo wrestlers also. But anyway, this guy was very aggressive and before every one of his matches, he would do this yell. Like he would get into the other person's face and just growl. What did he do? Exactly. It was [00:53:01] Matt: almost like a Māori war chant yell thing. [00:53:04] Vanessa: Yes, it was, [00:53:06] Fawn: it was very intense. I'm sorry. Really quick Ray, please, please. Don't lose your thought, Ray, but like very quickly what happened was, you know, it's all about figuring out how to diffuse a situation with just one word or like one glance because his opponent, this one time when he did that was, was he Hungarian? It doesn't matter where the guy was from. [00:53:26] Matt: He was the French national champion as a matter was he, [00:53:29] Fawn: he was smaller and less intimidating. Like actually he had a kind demeanor and so they were all ready to go. The guy that the guy did, his war cry in his face. And the guy, they were all crouched up, ready to go. You know how they, they crouched down, they put their hands on their knees. This guy took one hand off his knees and just gave him the thumbs up. Simple, like good for you waiting. And the whole croowd, the whole audience started laughing. [00:54:00] Vanessa: Oh my goodness. [00:54:03] Matt: Oh my goodness. [00:54:04] Fawn: And you know, what's so did the other guy, the intimidating guy. And I think [00:54:11] Vanessa: I w I will tell you, I had a similar situation about, uh, 10 years ago, I won a contest, singing. It was called the Mary Mary show, here in America. It was two sisters who were gospel artists. I entered the contest and, you know, I didn't even really have any clue whether I was gonna win or not. I was just going to sing and do my thing. There were a lot of young people, I mean, much younger than I was a lot of young people. And there was this young girl that came on and every week you would have to have people vote. So it was done all on Facebook, but you could see, and people were coming in and voting family members and everybody had to vote every day for about 130 days they would have to vote. You would see your box would go up and all the winners that were, in that week, I would still be in the box, but I would always be the last one. Then there were weeks when I would be the first one. I didn't do all the things that they did. They did a whole lot of antics and makeup and different things like that. I put some makeup on and I sang into a spoon. Literally I sang into a spoon. This young girl came on and she had her families come members come on to kind of, egg me and to heckle me. She would come on and you're not going to when you're old. And he would, I mean, she would say such mean things. I'm not even gonna go into some of the things that she said. She just said some really nasty things. And I would always be very kind. I would always be very tired. I hope you win. I hope this works out really, really good for you. This would be an opportunity. You don't have to wish anything for me. Okay. Alrighty. But not to cut you off, Ray, but I went on through that and I knew what God was saying to me. You're going to win and I would hear it over and over again. You're going to win because you got personality. They're not just looking for the voice. They're looking for the stage presence and the personality. And sure enough, I won first two things they said to me was you're mad, crazy singer, but more than your singing, your personality was everything; you singing into that spoon and having so much joy, singing into a spoon at your desk, with all your artwork behind you. That that's why we picked you your personality. [00:56:47] Ray: And it's like playing sports. And most sports, I grew up playing American baseball and most sports as an individual athlete, there are moments when you're on your own, you're by yourself. You gotta make that play to hit, whatever it takes to win, it's you. Athletes do have a Superman stance, like the Sumo wrestler. He had his grunt, his yell. All athletes have something that pushes the fear behind. And pushes their confidence forward. We have to do it, or else we'll shrink, we'll crumble when the time is right. And over a course of time, as an athlete, we learn how to just shut it off and all athletes, no matter who they are, we're nervous. We don't want to screw it up. I don't care who it is. It's in the back of your mind. I don't want to be the one. It's there and athletes know how to turn it on and off in an instant. And it's the same thing. We have to know how to connect with it, identify what is helping us and put that forward and push everything back at that moment. And that's what I feel, what it's all about. We all have to find that switch and going from engineering to sports, there were days when I'd leave my job, go straight to the game. I'm stressed out from the job. I'm in the game and there's a tight moment. I can't be worried about the job. I have to turn that switch and it's a weird way of handling us as a human, but we have to do it, find it, connect with it. And sometimes that voice of doubt in the back of your mind, it's always going to be there. We have to know how to control it. [00:58:34] Fawn: Thank you, Ray. You are so amazing and beautiful. Both of you. Matt has been quiet and I guarantee you when we stopped recording, he's going to say you didn't let me speak. [00:58:48] Matt: No, I've been totally fine. This time you have me on tape saying it. [00:58:52] Vanessa: Oh, [00:58:55] Fawn: But I just, I want to thank you. I know you have dinner plans and there's so many other questions I have for you, Ray. And I know Matt does too, and I want to know more about how your art is changing from being in Paris, . Oh my goodness. There's so much. So I really want to continue the conversation and I do respect and value your time. And I want you to go and have the most exquisite dinner every dinner every day, every night, every evening. I want you to have a beautiful every day and I'm so literally like Matt and I are so giggly over here in our little apartment in a tiny town in Colorado because Ray and Vanessa are in Paris. Yes, [00:59:43] Vanessa: we. It's been amazing. You have a, so seven 15, so, so I thought [00:59:49] Fawn: you were supposed to be there at seven 15. [00:59:53] Vanessa: Yeah. Okay, [00:59:53] Ray: man, it's just me and you, the ladies can go now, [00:59:58] Vanessa: but you asked about the art, um, you know, I've been filling up sketchbooks for awhile. And so being in France, this is the perfect place to sketch. Actually, I have a friend of mine that's coming from Amsterdam to be here with me on Saturday and she and I are going to people watch and sketch all day. That's all we plan to do sketch and collage. So I'm looking forward to that. But, I had the most wonderful opportunity to go to, Magasin Sennelier I think it is Magasin Sennelier, the art store, right across from the Louvre; amazing. I want to say to anybody who is an artist, that's listening to this podcast, I think every artist needs to come to France at some point in their career and go to the art stores here. They are nothing like the American art stores, nothing I what's [01:00:52] Fawn: happening. [01:00:54] Vanessa: It took [01:00:55] Ray: some of the stories are old. Yeah. They, they, the oldest store to, from my opinion, the more stuff they would have that is not on display. Yeah. [01:01:05] Vanessa: Yes. So there are brands of watercolor. There are pencils, there are paint pigments and things that you can't order in America, you know, and Amazon is supposed to be this online thing, but you can get anything you want. There are certain things that even Amazon will not be able to carry. I walk into the store, you can feel the energy from the store from the 17 hundreds. I mean, literally you could feel it. You could feel that there have been famous artists that came in here to buy art supplies. The store is very, very tiny. , it has a spiral staircase that went up and when we went up, I mean, very small rooms and everything because the people back then were very tiny, you know? So it's not this big store that you walk into, but even the cabinetry that they keep all the pigments in, it was, it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my whole entire life. [01:02:09] Ray: We used to know of a store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street, was like that it was a store that was around for maybe a hundred years, old creepy floors, tight walls, but they had everything in there. And if you didn't see it, or if you knew what you wanted, they had it somewhere in the basement warehouse , and this store reminded me of it. [01:02:33] Vanessa: Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was exactly like Pearl paints, uh, the people so very, very friendly. Although there was one young man who was not happy to see all the art supplies I was buying early in the morning. This is too much. I hate you Americans. I was like, oh, okay. I, I understand. But it was, it was tremendous. I mean, um, I will go to probably another art store. I have to say too, as a children's book, illustrator going and seeing the children's books here have been the most amazing thing. They are not like American children's books. French. Yes. The French are not afraid to talk about hard things with children as Americans are, we are, um, we, we just lack decorum. We don't know how to talk about death with children, but I know the French French do the Germans do definitely. And to walk into these stores and to see books that you're not going to find in America, that it's been everything, Fawn. It has been the best trip ever in life was coming to France. We're going [01:03:44] Ray: to have tons of new, uh, pictures, uh, paintings, all kinds of stuff coming out from this trip. [01:03:51] Fawn: I, I so appreciate you sharing everything because it, it helps me so much because one of the big pains I've had is I do talk to my kids the way Europeans do. I do feed my children the way Europeans do. And I've lost so many, um, like mom, friends, you know, like other families that have kids are our kids ages. They stopped talking to me because of how I raise our kids, which is with honesty and inclusion and, you know, total nourishment. I don't, I don't expose them to anything horrible, but w the conversations we have are so different than the conversations, my fellow American families have [01:04:36] Ray: because a child or a young adult asked the door is open. And if you don't fill their mind with the right information, the alternative is worse. [01:04:48] Vanessa: But I will, I will say this too, in, in getting ready to close, is that, Fawn, when you and Matt are spiritual, like you are when you are also people of integrity, that changes everything. And so I will leave you with this: mediocrity is right down by the feet. It will always stay around the feet and the knees. When you decide you want to go up, the air is thin. And not many people can say they're with you. And so it is really just the wrong people dropping off and that's fine. That's okay. And we have to be okay with that, is that we don't need 150 different friends. We don't even need 10 fronts. We need three good friends. That's it. Three. And when we get there and get into a comfortable place of, you know, I don't need, I feel I need a 10 girlfriends. You don't need 10 girlfriends. You know, I, I tell my daughter this all the time. It's not about you having five friends or 20 friends. Do you have two good friends that if the car broke down, all of y'all would find a way home. You would find a way together. You would find a way. That's the kind of friend I want to be. And if I can't have those kinds of friends around me, I'm good. I'm good. Exactly. [01:06:17] Fawn: I, I consider those friends, family, my family, and, and I will speak for Matt too. He's very quiet today. I will speak for all of us here, Matt, the kids, Elle and Allegra, and myself, that Ray, Vanessa, you are our family. I am so happy. We are so happy to have you in our lives. And I, I love you. We love you so much. [01:06:46] Vanessa: We love you. We love you. I love you all. You know, I fell in love with you all the first time I ever did an interview with you. Uh, Matt's energy is so high and so very, very powerful. And the two of you together are like plug-in socket. You know, once the two together, the energy is just popping and that, that means everything for a relationship and we consider you family, and we're all plugged in together. And that's a good thing. [01:07:18] Fawn: My deepest desire right now [01:07:21] Matt: is to go to France. [01:07:22] Fawn: Well, it was when you told me you guys were going, we're like, we're going too, we're moving. The boxes are being packed. My desire is to live near you and to, to share more conversations with you, both. Ray, Vanessa, truly, thank you. Love you so much. And [01:07:44] Matt: thank you so much for carving out time during your big trip. Definitely very much appreciated. [01:07:50] Fawn: And [01:07:53] Vanessa: we love you. [01:07:56] Fawn: I can't wait to hear about the dinner, so we'll talk [01:07:58] Vanessa: soon. [01:08:04] Fawn: I'm sorry, Ray, could you repeat that?. [01:08:06] Ray: Which dinner. There's so many that talk about [01:08:10] Fawn: every morsel all day, every day. We're all about food here. Like I want to know everything. I get so excited by food. [01:08:19] Ray: Yes. It's a barbecue place. Not too far from [01:08:22] Vanessa: us. That we're really shocked with that. We're going to go to tonight. We're going to walk around the corner and check it out. Like they have barbecue in France. Okay. Check it out. We've [01:08:34] Ray: been learning. If there's a line, the food is good though. It's like, well, I don't want to wait in line. I don't want to be in a crowded restaurant, [01:08:42] Vanessa: but if it's not, you might be disappointed. So [01:08:45] Fawn: would you mind looking for a line that goes to a vegan place and telling us about that? [01:08:53] Ray: Yeah. There are tons of vegan places. Paris, [01:09:00] Vanessa: goodness. It's like, it's got to be about five or six on every corner. It's amazing. [01:09:05] Ray: Yeah, it'd be every day we go out. In fact, we saw one [01:09:08] Vanessa: today. Yep. When, when, when you and Matt come back, you are not going to be disappointed every, [01:09:15] Ray: and then there's a slowly place I want to go to [01:09:17] Fawn: tomorrow. I want to hear all about it. Okay. Love you. You're running late. You better go. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you so much. Love you so much. [01:09:29] Vanessa: Okay. Love you too. Bye bye now.

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