Nugget and pearl of wisdom from Santa Monica Days: Iraq and Iran – the adventures of turtle/babysitting. Fawn’s Santa Monica friends (Anders and Liz), named their turtles Iran and Iraq to bring peace to the Middle East. The reasoning for the choice of their names was that every time they called their turtles lovingly by their names, they not only sent their turtles love but they held loving kindness for the Middle East at the same time. Words have power. Fawn and Matt begin relating words, numbers, zeros, ones and computer coding. Matt corrects Fawn and says as a programmer, he thinks “all things are code, code is not necessarily math. It’s Boolean logic and saying it’s a bunch of zeros and ones fails to convey the true majesty that is.”
This week’s topic is about the first time you felt the power of friendship and what it did for you and your life.
The alliance that we talk about this week is all about the sense that together, you’re able to do ANYTHING. You can overcome racial injustice, you can overcome economic injustice. You're able to overcome any obstacle or any hurt in front of you, TOGETHER.
This is why we began this friendly movement, because we’ve found that our society has really deteriorated as far as people really being together in neighborhoods, offices and at home, and how in-person friendships, walking arm in arm is now rare.
Friendship and the alliance that is created within that sanctuary are incredibly powerful and we wonder why it has disappeared and why we've become so disconnected. Together, we can create great beauty, peace and strength and have a kinder, healthier, richer, more compassionate world, and a stronger, more balanced society.
Do you have a first Alliance story? When was the first time that you felt the kind of friendship where you felt the power of a union, the power of a bond that made you feel invincible? What was it that drew you together? What was the common thread?
Feeling the great life pressures, not feeling supported and feeling upset and overwhelmed (and maybe not even realizing you have been feeling all of this), can wreak havoc on us, our lives, our health, and our relationships, and as a result, bad things can happen. When you’re in the thick of it, you don't understand that you're in pain because it feels normal until you get a break from it (if you get a break from it).
So we need to support each other. People do communicate their deepest pains. It may be subtly. It may be slyly. And if you're paying attention, you can pick up on it and you can ask the questions. A friendship is a cocoon where you can grow into what you're supposed to be, within a safe environment. You're protected within this friendship, within this circle.
We've all been disconnected. Come back and don't judge so much. Everybody's in pain. Don't judge it. Let's just be together and offer comfort. Let's provide a safe space for our friends to express the things they need to, and then in return, they will provide us a safe space so we can communicate the things we need to communicate.
Many of us have been treated “less than”, felt generally alone and absolutely isolated. It is a horrible feeling. How can we be heard and also hear our fellow brothers and sisters? It's about trying to focus in on what we can do. And here's the issue: we don't have a society where friends are a thing, (like real, for real friends, not talking Facebook friends but someone who has your back and can offer a shoulder to lean on).
When we don't have friendship, when we don’t have support, our capacity is limited, and we tend to lash out. This is why making sure that we develop bonds with one another is so important. It’s time to begin talking and paying attention to each other and finding common ground.
An alliance makes for a healthier, happier life. We all need a friend we can take a break with, have some fun with, even if it's just a superficial friendship, one you're just having fun with. We always talk about the three categories of friendship from Aristotle’s Nicomachean ethics and how the true lasting friend is the one who loves you for you, but sometimes you just need that friend to have meaningless, stupid fun with. That can be enough to get you through.
We need human connection. We're social animals, people. We are animals. We are social animals. This is how we've survived for hundreds of thousands of years
The key about people and temper tantrums; when you see somebody lashing out, getting angry, getting frustrated, yelling, raising their voice, acting like a child, you have to see this person as a person and start to understand the why's of it. Why are they acting this way? What led them to this place? And you know, of course there are those times where that's not going to work, but in general, people have bad days and people have bad days for a number of reasons and you need to have more compassion for them.
Be a good host. Try. Try and listen. And if that doesn't work, walk away, but remember how you become friends in the first place. You meet by chance. You discuss something completely inane. And then you realize that there might be something deeper and you exchange information or you see them every day on the playground. And then you slowly but surely become friends because of shared interests and shared experiences. So work on being a good host for starters. A good host knows when to bounce people out the house, but a good host also knows how to make people who want to be there, feel welcomed.
Please support us by leaving a review on itunes, subscribing to our podcast.
We're all encoded with spectacular gifts, your fabulousness, your greatness translates wherever you go. The BEAUTIFUL Vanessa Brantley-Newton is back, this time with her BRILLIANT husband Ray! They join us from their vacation in Paris, France, and share their adventures, experiences, wisdom, and advice for life, travel, food, love, art, and how to respectfully and lovingly travel the earth. We love connecting with Vanessa and Ray. Join us as we discuss ways our fabulousness translates wherever we go. The world is a small town and it is so good to connect! How is it that even though we may not speak the same language, we can completely understand each other? Is it possible that we all have encoded something in our hearts that can translate for us and enable us to communicate, transcending words? Are there codes that we can access through sacred geometry in our bodies that when we assume a specific posture, can change the way we communicate and the way others are able to understand our inner nature? Vanessa Brantley-Newton on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessabrantleynewton/?hl=en https://www.vanessabrantleynewton.com/ Vanessa's Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuMBHSZf32c Magasin Sennelier, the art store,the Louvre;store in New York called Pearl Paint, the original store on Canal Street, Maison Bossier https://www.magasinsennelier.art/en/ the Les Frenchies https://lesfrenchiestravel.com/the power pose TRANSCRIPT – The French Connection With Vanessa and Ray [00:00:00] ...
What are we substituting in place of real friendship? How is this changing our society? Are we able to notice the spells that are cast in our lives and how they change our friendships? What are these spells? This is our conversation today.Your experience matters to us. Please contact us and talk to us...https://www.ourfriendlyworldpodcast.com/ and perhaps donate a cup of coffee to support our show: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/friendlyspace The Surrogate Friend – TRANSCRIPT [00:00:00] Fawn: I don't know if I ever showed you this, but there was a vegan cooking show done. Uh, very, I don't know. Is there such a thing as a goth heavy metal guy, [00:00:10] Matt: that there was no goth heavy metal, oh dear. [00:00:13] Fawn: He was very underground, scary sounding. He sounded like a demond, [00:00:17] Matt: right. But that's not goth. That's like when you start getting. into like, I don't know, extreme death or [00:00:23] Fawn: he was like that [00:00:24] Matt: or all the stuff I don't listen to. Cause folks, I love clean vocals makes me a bad person. Then that makes me a bad person. [00:00:31] Fawn: Did you show me that? Or did ...
This episode we focus on Revolution vs Evolution and the Art of A Coherent Community During Turbulent Times and we begin with the etymology of revolution: to turn; to roll back. The definition is really revolt, which originally meant to renounce allegiance, which is really interesting since we're always talking about friendship and community and family; the family that we create, but to renounce allegiance that's revolution. Revolution is also a change in paradigm. Evolution is an opening of what was a rolled up and opening of what was rolled up. We discuss the cause of fear and division. Fawn gives the example of Santa Monica and how the utopia bubble was getting thin, when things became more (here's the four letter word - "busy"), where people began becoming more and more busy, didn't play as often, didn't have happy hour meals as often and began to get quiet in conversation. The family began to dwindle. The free, wild, uncontrollable laughter didn't happen as much. Things felt more and more serious and soon began that new normal. So what's the lesson here and this tiny bit of time in this tiny bit of community is the basis for our conversation today? How does revolution ignite in a peaceful heart? How can we turn it around? Here at our friendly world, we always say that friendship is the key to what ails our society. It is the key to social economic and racial conflict. Because when we see how supported we are, that we are better, stronger together, as we say, we help each other with all aspects of life, we are wealthy, we are not alone and we value each other. TRANSCRIPT [00:00:00] Fawn: ...