How to Make New Friends When You Move to A New Place

November 07, 2022 00:31:26
How to Make New Friends When You Move to A New Place
Our Friendly World with Fawn and Matt - Friendship Tools
How to Make New Friends When You Move to A New Place

Nov 07 2022 | 00:31:26

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Hosted By

Fawn Anderson

Show Notes

How to make friends when life has changed? How do we make friends when our life has completely changed? And that change could be a move, it could be being in a completely different situation, a new job, people we love passing away, or we give birth, become parents, etc, etc. Things open and close. Things happen, and life changes. That's when we start looking around to see if we have friends for real around us; someone to call, to be with us, to hold our hand; someone we can just walk down the street with, someone to be our witness in life. How can we make friends when life has completely changed or changed a little bit?

How do we make friends when we're going through a transformation?

It's like jumping into a beautiful lake, but you don't want to because it's gonna be a shocking cold temperature or something. Whatever it is, it's going to be uncomfortable for a few seconds. But Once we're in there, the water's fine and we can open our arms, glide, and enjoy life.

In this episode, we discuss steps to take to make new friends in a new place.

 

 

How to move to make friends moving to a new place - TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Fawn: Okay. Hello. We are back. Here we are.

[00:00:03] Matt: Hello everybody. How are you

[00:00:04] Fawn: doing? Good job, Matt. . I was just telling Matt every time we start the show, hello? He just says hello. I'm like, it just sounds like I spliced your voice in saying hello like a puppet. No. Good. So here he is, everybody. Matt. Hello. Oh my God.

[00:00:24] Fawn: So. I made a new podcast friend last week. Actually we met weeks ago, but mm-hmm. . I was on his podcast. His name is Adam,

[00:00:35] Fawn: and

[00:00:35] Fawn: his podcast is podcasting Business school. So check that out. I think, it's good even if you're not a podcaster, to listen to him because he makes great business sense. . And if you look at it, if you look at people who are doing really well in business, they're actually, you can use their advice also for friendship.

[00:00:57] Fawn: But anyway, we were talking and yeah, that's how, how I was doing, I'm like, Oh, you know, finally got through, unpacking the last box. You know, it's been nuts. , he's like, I move too, he. Uh, I think a month and a half before we did, or two months before we did. Mm-hmm. And, and I do recall when we met in this huge forum through Podfest. I think he glanced at our podcast. He didn't know about us. But he was like, Oh, friendship. Well if you're gonna do it, I hope you're doing it on. Like how do I actually teach people to make friends? I'm like, I'm like, Is he talking to me? I think he was talking to me. Cause we were the only ones with a friendship podcast.

[00:01:38] Fawn: You talking to me,

[00:01:39] Matt: I don't see nobody else. You must be talking to me. And I

[00:01:41] Fawn: was thinking, Well if you only listen, you do realize that every episode actually, we get into that. Right. We get into all aspects of life, which is all about connecting with one another. Anyway, we were talking. So anyway, this episode is especially for you, Adam.

[00:01:58] Fawn: Adam from Podcasting Business School podcast. All right, here we go. So, you know, go back actually, And there are, we just moved, right? So he wanted, Adam wants to know, well, how do you make friends when you move to a new town? Right. My thing is, let's just rephrase that. You don't have to move to be in that situation.

[00:02:20] Fawn: How do you make friends when your life has changed? How do you make friends when your life has completely changed? And that could be a move. Things change, you're in a completely different

[00:02:31] Matt: situation. Well, new job or

[00:02:33] Fawn: absolutely. Somebody passes away or you give birth. Things open and close. Things happen, and life changes.

[00:02:43] Fawn: That's when you start looking around to see, do I have friends for real around me? Someone I can call to be with me, to hold my hand, Someone I can just walk down the street with someone to be my witness in life. And, and I'm not saying Matt just is smirking at me right now by being your witness, I mean, look, I'll just use us as an example.

[00:03:09] Fawn: Matt and I have experienced and seen some stuff and I'm like, Thank God you were standing next to me because that was absurd. Right?

[00:03:17] Matt: Right.

[00:03:18] Fawn: But you saw what I saw. You heard what I heard. You experienced what I experienced. We need that. We need that. Other way we, we feel like we're going nuts.

[00:03:27] Matt: Crazy.

[00:03:28] Matt: Especially when we try and explain it to someone else and they're like that. You obviously misinterpreted or. .

[00:03:36] Fawn: Yeah. You're making it up or Yeah, I know. Yeah. You misunderstood.

[00:03:40] Matt: I can't believe that. No. Dot dot.

[00:03:42] Fawn: Right. Right. So here we go. How do we make friends when your life has completely changed or changed a little bit?

[00:03:50] Fawn: Whatever, you've, you've gone through a transition. Like that transition word always scared me. Like I remember hearing that word pop up, uh, about, I don't know, 10 years. Transition. You're going through transition. I'm like, what? It just, I don't know. It, it, it's too much. Whatever. Life is about change, life is about transformation.

[00:04:14] Fawn: So how do you make friends when you're going through a transformation? And if you go back a few episodes, that's really what we have been talking about because that's what Matt and I have been going through. Major, major transformation. And if you go back, look at the episode called

[00:04:33] Fawn: "Earth is a Small Town and Everyone is Your Friend" because that's our first time going out in public. And actually, remember Matt, we went to a coffee shop in town where we moved to and did a recording. We got permission from the coffee shop, we got permission from everybody. We all sat down and kind of took over this coffee shop in one area, and did an in person with some people we became friends with, some really cool people we became friends with and. Really what you're gonna hear on that episode or what you hear on that episode is our very first conversation other than, Hi, nice to meet you. Uh, you know, figuring out what you have in common really quick, right?

[00:05:17] Fawn: Let's hang out sometime, right? So our, let's hang out next time was we just took all our quiet recording gear, right? , We showed up and had coffee and we started the conversation. And so I think it's a good example of how to do that, because we talked about how we all met, how we were all feeling before we even said hello to each other.

[00:05:40] Fawn: So what was going on in our minds? What, you know, the dialogue that pops up that makes you think, I can't talk to this person. Mm-hmm. , for whatever reason, like we all, explained what was happening in our minds when we first met, that would've kept us from talking, that would've kept us from becoming friends.

[00:05:58] Fawn: But we pushed through, We all pushed through somehow, and then we got into, well, how do you keep a friend? How do you go beyond that meeting and speaking, being brave enough to speak and actually getting together and, you know, we talked about poop. We talked about , how everybody gets. Meaning that everybody goes through something and you end up getting offended or offending someone.

[00:06:26] Fawn: And in our society, in our culture, well that's the end of the friendship right there. Right? Why? You know? Right. And if you really want to have a blossoming, beautiful flowering friendship, you, everybody poops, . Everybody is poopy at some point. And you have to decide how you can move through. , and I'm not saying move through all of it because some people are poopy and you don't, you should not be around that at all.

[00:06:54] Fawn: And that's not what we're talking about. We're just talking about, little idiosyncrasies or little hangups that can happen. Misunderstandings. Right, right. And having the ability to see what it is and move through it. So that's a good episode. "Earth is a small town and everyone is your friend."

[00:07:11] Fawn: That's the episode you should look into. It was just a few episodes back. Also we did an episode. How you End is How you Begin, and it talks about exactly that, that whether it's starting a new job or moving to a new place, starting something new. Look at how you're ending something, even if it doesn't seem like it's related, always end on a clear note. In order for it not to show up again, make sure you tie up all loose ends emotionally, physically, in every way. And then there was that other episode we did the FedEx delivery. When you look at ways the world could just show you openings to make a friend, you have to take it open that door. Don't be afraid.

[00:07:59] Fawn: There's an opportunity for you that you normally may skip over. So that's what that episode is talking about, the FedEx Delivery. And a common thing that Matt and I do is we have a notebook. So we did a whole episode on the Notebook, and it's not like that scary, sad movie. It's actually , it's actually a tool we use

[00:08:21] Fawn: to not only keep track of our thoughts and our daily magical things that happen, writing them down, it's a way to understand things better for yourself and also understanding other people. Cuz you're, you're taking note, you're really paying attention. Anyway, back to Adam. So let's start, how do you make friends when you first moved to a new place or

[00:08:50] Fawn: your life has changed. So we did it. I'll start off by saying, I get it. I get it. We have so much we're taking care of. We are tired, we feel so stressed out. Right? There are so many things going on, especially in the United States, and I think actually it's now happening around the

[00:09:09] Matt: world, and especially when you're in a state of transition.

[00:09:12] Matt: All of a sudden something in your life is kind of thrown

[00:09:15] Matt: up in the air

[00:09:16] Fawn: and things are breaking. ,

[00:09:18] Matt: Oh my Lord, don't get me started on breakage

[00:09:21] Fawn: today. Our refrigerator seems to be doing some crazy wackadoodle stuff. Anyway, . Um, but every day, every day it's something. Just when you think, Oh my God, I can barely handle this.

[00:09:33] Fawn: Something else comes along and I get it. You don't, you don't have time to go out and drive somewhere meet someone and talk to them. This is gonna sound terrible, but I'm going to use the word forced. I force myself to go out there several levels when I, it's hard for me, being a germophobe even before the pandemic, to suddenly be around a bunch of people.

[00:10:01] Fawn: Right, Right. And in person. In person. So I've made myself go out there without a mask and sit with people and actually hug people and start conversations where truthfully, I would rather be in our little home that I've finally put together where it's cozier and I can enjoy the, all the knickknacks that I put out.

[00:10:27] Fawn: Enjoy a nice cup of tea and just be quiet because I've been going, going, going for so long and things have been so stressful. Yeah, it's easier to stay at home and curl up under a beautiful fluffy blanket and watch days of our lives. That's what I do.

[00:10:43] Matt: Oh dear.

[00:10:44] Fawn: Don't judge me

[00:10:45] Matt: too

[00:10:45] Fawn: late, .

[00:10:46] Fawn: So whatever it is you.

[00:10:49] Fawn: It is hard to get over that inertia.

[00:10:51] Matt: Yes,

[00:10:52] Matt: big time. Especially like waking up on a random Sunday and just being like, I could just stay home all day, but anyways,

[00:11:03] Fawn: Or I have to take care of the kids. I have to cook, I have to do laundry, I have to fix this. I have to take care of this appointment. There's a lot going on.

[00:11:13] Fawn: My job, everything. I know it sounds bad, but I forced myself to do this. And then when I, I remember like, um, okay, so recently I met some new people and we said, Okay, let's meet at this coffee shop. And I would sit in the car and I would have to push myself to get outta the car because I'm like, I felt like I was going on a job interview

[00:11:33] Matt: Right. And, and you know what? There are a lot of similarities.

[00:11:38] Fawn: because you're going into something new, they may turn you down. Right you're trying to show exactly who you are in a short span of time

[00:11:45] Matt: and yet a good version of yourself.

[00:11:49] Fawn: Well, not me, I don't care. Everybody's,

[00:11:51] Matt: everybody's got ugliness to them.

[00:11:53] Fawn: I think I, I, I show the ugly, I, I show all of it, like I said, to show all about myself because I'd rather you see all the things that you may not like about me from the beginning, because if you're not in it with me, then I'd rather know immediately. Well,

[00:12:10] Matt: there are levels. I typically don't let people know for a while that I'm vegan just because it, it, there's so much baggage that goes along with

[00:12:20] Fawn: that.

[00:12:20] Fawn: But you know what? That's your hangup. Who cares. Who cares what you eat? Nobody cares

[00:12:24] Matt: what? What you eat. You know what? People do care. Sadly, they

[00:12:27] Fawn: do. Yes. That's because they're judging. Is that why? Well,

[00:12:31] Matt: one of the guys I work with smokes meat, for goodness sake, . Okay? Another guy was going on vacation to go fishing

[00:12:39] Fawn: so?

[00:12:40] Matt: Well.

[00:12:41] Fawn: That's what they do. You see, you're judge. Are you judging them? I'm not

[00:12:43] Matt: judging them, but I don't, I want them to be, Feel free to share that information with me. I know people and not feel uncomfortable about it. And plus, there's the whole stigma about being vegan.

[00:12:55] Fawn: Okay? I know it must

[00:12:55] Matt: be this way, that way the other way, it's the same way.

[00:12:57] Matt: If you tell somebody you're born again, Christian, there's baggage that

[00:13:00] Fawn: comes along with that. You know what? . I think my, my way of going about things is, look, I'm a vegan. I'm not standing on a soapbox kind of vegan I am. This is what

[00:13:13] Matt: I, You're defending and

[00:13:14] Fawn: justifying. Yeah. Because I have to just let 'em know, Look, I'm not gonna rain on your parade for smoking meat.

[00:13:20] Fawn: Right. I'm not gonna rain on your parade because you're eating fish. I don't , you know, live and let live. True. I'm just telling you. Right. I don't do that. I'm with you, but I'm not judging you for doing it. Okay. Absolutely. Most of the time. So anyway, . Well, I mean, if you're gonna, nevermind, if you're gonna really get into like why we're vegan, it's atrocious, atrocious, atrocious, atrocious, atrocious.

[00:13:43] Fawn: Anyway. What happens to all living beings, including plants? Way, I wanna get into it. Whatever. So do you, You understand? You get the gist of what I'm saying, right? All right. So I'm sitting in my car and I'm like, Oh, I don't wanna go in. I'm scared but I did it anyway. And it was so funny because as I was talking to this woman and Tracy, Hello, She actually said the same thing.

[00:14:10] Fawn: She said the same. I didn't say it. I did not say it, but she said it. She said she was having a hard time coming here and her daughter had to talk her into it. . See? Oh, it'll be fun. It'll be fun. You're meeting someone new. You're gonna have coffee. Yay. You have, everybody has these feelings. You just have to get over it.

[00:14:29] Fawn: It's like jumping into a beautiful lake, but you don't want to because it's gonna be a shocking cold temperature or something. Whatever it is, it's going to be uncomfortable for a few seconds. But Once you're in there, the water's fine and you can open your arms and glide and enjoy, and it's the same thing.

[00:14:50] Fawn: It's the same thing.

[00:14:52] Fawn: So how do you make friends when you first move into a town? When you go about your daily business, you're going to the grocery store, you probably have to go to the hardware store cause things are breaking where you're living. Hello? You are going, Where else have we gone? Oh, dealing with the trash, you know, recycling.

[00:15:13] Fawn: There are people around you all the time. People you normally ignore.

[00:15:17] Matt: Frankly, I know, and I, I

[00:15:19] Fawn: know for whatever reason, class issues. Do you, do you talk to your male person? Do you talk to the person who picks up the recycling, picks up garbage? They are human beings. Hello?

[00:15:33] Matt: True.

[00:15:34] Fawn: Oh my goodness. So, yes. The UPS person, the FedEx person, Shout out to Kenny.

[00:15:41] Fawn: Ups. Thank you so much. I see him on the street now and I'll wave like a crazy person and it takes him a second to go. Oh yeah, that's that lady.

[00:15:49] Matt: That's a crazy

[00:15:49] Matt: one.

[00:15:51] Fawn: With all the boxes anyway. There are opportunities everywhere. That's where the notebook comes in. Write everything down. Who you meet, what's their name, what do they like, what's they look like?

[00:16:02] Fawn: Um, I

[00:16:03] Matt: don't know. Right? I take notes as far as like per um, if they tell me they have a spouse and their name or a birthday or whatever.

[00:16:12] Fawn: So there's all these things to do. And don't forget the neighbors. Sending thank you cards for everything. Have a stack of thank you cards. People are shocked. The, uh, plumber came in and we spent so many dollars, like, Oh my god, thousands.

[00:16:28] Fawn: But

[00:16:28] Matt: we, there was a lot of interesting things

[00:16:30] Fawn: to fix. I gave him a thank you card while he was here. Mm-hmm. , and he was shocked, of course. He's like, No one's ever given me a thank you card, .

[00:16:39] Matt: Right, right. They just gimme money and that's good.

[00:16:42] Fawn: But I, I gave him a thank you card and, and. Piece of advice because he's like, What is this?

[00:16:48] Fawn: This is interesting. I would like to try it too. It was a filter we were using and he had to install it. And, um, yeah, like I, I don't trust our water system anywhere. I don't, I don't trust the government taking care of stuff. I don't. And hello, we're now finding out yes, all these places have problems with water.

[00:17:06] Fawn: So yeah, I have a special device for making sure the water is clean. and the plumber didn't know about it, about this particular thing, so whatever. I gave him the info. Right. And I also thanked him for helping our home. Mm-hmm. , making our home better. But, you know, made friends there, you know, made friends with everyone We have come into contact with.

[00:17:31] Fawn: And now Matt, you are seeming like you're totally on board.

[00:17:35] Fawn: I

[00:17:36] Matt: do, don't I?

[00:17:36] Fawn: and everything. But have you actually taken this advice fully because Okay, you meet someone, you say hi, you may even go out for coffee with them. People tend to drop the ball there. It's like, Okay, I've Enough

[00:17:50] Matt: true

[00:17:50] Fawn: BYE no, you need to keep at it.

[00:17:54] Fawn: You need to keep your muscles, It's like running. Yeah, you can run for five seconds. You can't go. Okay I did it! No, keep going. There's a hump that you need to go over, if that makes any sense.

[00:18:08] Matt: It No, it totally does

[00:18:09] Fawn: until it becomes normal. Right. You know, like, um, a long time ago I worked for the Aveda Corporation and the ceo, the owner of the corporation, always talked about synthetic things like a synthetic scent.

[00:18:25] Fawn: And how our noses are so accustomed to smelling fabricated things, synthetic chemicals that we think these synthetic chemicals are natural, right? A lot of products that exist out there, it's not really coming from a plant. It is a chemical that's produced in a lab that's really not good for you. People will smell or eat something and think this is natural, but once your body

[00:18:54] Fawn: comes into contact with the source of nature, it remembers exactly what the truth is, and that's with everything in life. When you come into contact with it, your body knows. Your soul knows what is going on. Your soul, your nose knows this is actual Jasmine I'm smelling. This is actual coffee I'm smelling.

[00:19:18] Fawn: So you know what true friendship feels like when you come in contact with it and then soon it will become the natural way of things, the way it used to. And I think that we can get there in our society. We can do that. But we have to flex our muscles again and we have to maybe be uncomfortable for a few minutes, but we can get there.

[00:19:42] Fawn: Matt is taking notes, if you heard tick tick. I could hear that . Anyways, so, So we're talking, but Matt, have you been doing

[00:19:52] Fawn: this?

[00:19:54] Matt: So anyways? Mm-hmm. .

[00:19:56] Fawn: Mm. What's going on, Matt? Not

[00:19:58] Matt: too, The thing about it is, folks, yes, my wife is 100% right? Absolutely. No question.

[00:20:09] Fawn: Why do you say my wife, Like the king of the hill,

[00:20:14] Matt: anyways, so Matt's wife is absolutely correct ,

[00:20:19] Fawn: so messed up,

[00:20:23] Matt: Uh, the thing is, is you know, when you go out into the world, You have to A, be patient, and B, have an incredible sense of curiosity about you. You're gonna find those things to ask questions about and people are much more comfortable talking to you if you're asking them questions, and certainly questions about things that they're

[00:20:46] Fawn: interested in.

[00:20:46] Fawn: Yes, Yes. Matt, you sound very wise, but tell Tell our friends the truth. What is happening? Well, no, that's the truth.

[00:20:52] Matt: That is absolutely the truth. No, the truth is I have been very impatient. Mm-hmm. And just, I just want to get done with whatever it is I'm out in the world

[00:21:00] Fawn: to do. Our neighbor has been wanting to make friends with Matt going out of his way to get special stuff.

[00:21:06] Fawn: He totally has. And you like when they show up at the door, you're like, I don't even know how to describe it to you guys. Matt just stands there, grabs it and runs away like. You're like a robot. Like, and

[00:21:19] Fawn: I'm like, What happened? I, And you did this several times and that's just it.

[00:21:23] Matt: What's happening? Okay.

[00:21:24] Matt: What's going on right now is, unfortunately, or fortunately, my next door neighbor, he is too quick witted for me. , This never happens. He's like, bam, fast and funny, and I'm, I'm struggling. I can't keep up.

[00:21:42] Fawn: So don't,

[00:21:43] Matt: So we fence, we don't talk.

[00:21:45] Fawn: But why do you need to

[00:21:46] Matt: fence? I need to stop that. And I'm in the process of stopping that.

[00:21:49] Matt: Okay. But

[00:21:50] Fawn: it's hard. So does that mean you're in

[00:21:52] Matt: I like being the funny

[00:21:53] Fawn: guy. Oh, honey.

[00:21:57] Matt: Oh honey, you are not funny. .

[00:22:01] Fawn: Matt, you're funny when you're not funny. You're funny when you're trying not to be funny. I don't wanna be accidentally funny. You know what? You're funny when truly you are not thinking about it.

[00:22:13] Fawn: I mean, have you noticed?

[00:22:14] Matt: And that's the problem. I'm thinking too much. Exactly, and fencing too much, and I have to stop doing that. I have to be, I'm not being, I'm not being truly genuine because I want to be funny. Ding,

[00:22:26] Fawn: ding, ding. Genuine. Be yourself. My God. That's my, Is that what you wrote down? What's that word right

[00:22:34] Matt: there?

[00:22:34] Matt: I, I can't, It's a squiggle. It looks like it says glucose, but it means it is genuine. .

[00:22:41] Fawn: So what happened?

[00:22:43] Matt: I'm the funny one.

[00:22:44] Fawn: No, but what happened when?

[00:22:46] Matt: What happened to what?

[00:22:47] Fawn: All of a sudden you're like, you freeze up. I know. Well, because I'm

[00:22:52] Matt: trying to think of like the funniest thing to say.

[00:22:54] Fawn: Yeah, but you know better I, what happened.

[00:22:58] Matt: I'm also busy still grappling with my workmates. I, I made progress with one of them this week, which was very, very awesome. And my work mates, it's especially difficult

[00:23:08] Matt: and I, you know, I'm, you know, we obviously we have work in common, but it's, it's about finding more than that and it's about being genuine inside of that. And then there's the politics of, of work as well. Because we look at what each other does, and we help each other and we we teach each other. So it's, it's an interesting delicate balancing act to maintain all of this and still maintain a professional

[00:23:34] Matt: attitude.

[00:23:35] Matt: All right. Well, let's

[00:23:35] Fawn: get back to how do you make friends when you move into a new place? You

[00:23:39] Matt: need to be patient. You need to be

[00:23:41] Fawn: curious. No. If you say you need to be patient, people are just gonna just stay home. And like not do anything because you have to let go

[00:23:49] Matt: of being patient. You have to let go of your busy life and you have to go out there and do it.

[00:23:55] Matt: You have to just do it. Well, the trick is the trick with, Okay, so the trick with me is that I'm always in a hurry when I'm out. I guy shop everywhere, which just means I know the five things I, I need to get. I've already in my head mapped out how to get 'em and I get out. Boom, boom, boom. Fast as I

[00:24:12] Fawn: can. And actually you have gotten mad at me because you're like, you're like pointing to and tapping your watch.

[00:24:19] Fawn: Well, I'm trying to make a connection at the store. Yeah. Stop it. Gosh. Right, right. And that's where I make all my friends is at when we're out and about. But you are very well, Did I do that to you? Y. I don't remember. No, yesterday was great, but I did feel the pressure because you, you do usually do that to me.

[00:24:40] Fawn: I know.

[00:24:40] Matt: And I was feeling like, and I was trying to muscle through it. I, I, I was trying

[00:24:44] Fawn: to muscle through it. Yes. But I could still feel it. I was like, Ugh. So I literally turned to the person and said, Look, can we just exchange phone numbers real quick? My husband is impatient. . That's what I said. And she's like, Yeah, sure.

[00:24:56] Fawn: And we just exchanged phone numbers. I said, I'll, I'll, I'll text you . And there you go. And, but you know, my God, it was like I had to be brave enough to tell her what was going on. Like I just told her, Look, I wanna, I wanna hang out with you. Right? That's it. Boom. I just said it, right? I said it. I said, and then I had to instigate it cuz people are not open usually to just giving out their phone numbers.

[00:25:24] Fawn: Mm-hmm. . And if I feel that's happening, I'm like, here's my number. Always have something handy; something to write on and something to write with. Always have that with you. I actually wanna get cards again.

[00:25:37] Matt: See cards feels a little too contrived,

[00:25:40] Fawn: but it's a little note card that could look pretty.

[00:25:42] Fawn: It doesn't have to be a business card; something that's inspiring with a quote on it. For something to remember you by. , You know, But back in the day, didn't they have calling cards for gentlemen? They,

[00:25:54] Matt: No, they had calling cards, period. Calling

[00:25:56] Fawn: cards. And what was that, in what century was that? Like 17th

[00:26:00] Matt: century.

[00:26:00] Matt: So I was reading a story that takes place in like the 1890s in Utah, and the wife went calling on somebody and left her card and they never got back to her. So that was 1890s. So, That's one instance in Utah of all places.

[00:26:23] Fawn: I would make a card, This is what I'm working on right now, making a little card, something you could stick on a wall that, that inspires people, like something with a pretty picture or a beautiful quote that's life affirming. And then have your number there, your name and number.

[00:26:40] Matt: Whereas as a guy, I walk around with a notebook, just a skinny notebook that fits in my back pocket. And what I will do is I will have one or two, um, Sticky notes inside of it that are blank and I can write on those. Yeah.

[00:26:54] Fawn: But I'm talking about something you can, you can give to someone else.

[00:26:57] Fawn: And then sticky notes get, Yeah.

[00:26:58] Matt: I can give somebody a sticky note. I can

[00:27:00] Fawn: do that. They get lost and it's

[00:27:01] Matt: like trash. Well, and it, it's also also about getting their stuff too. Something

[00:27:05] Fawn: that doesn't seem like trash. I know. Something you wanna Hold on. I know. Anyway, so that's, that's another tip right there is to do that.

[00:27:14] Fawn: Um, there's so many things on my mind right now adam? Adam, when you're new to town, it's like being on vacation, but you live there. You're

[00:27:23] Matt: also seeing things differently too.

[00:27:25] Fawn: Yeah. Take, take advantage when life has transformed into something totally different for you.

[00:27:30] Fawn: Take advantage of that. Even if it's grief that you're going through, take advantage of it because you're seeing things in a way that you normally don't see. Know you're, you're aware of things you're normally not aware of, and that's the perfect opportunity to make a wonderful life happen because you're not ignoring things around you.

[00:27:51] Fawn: And that's when you make beautiful connections. That's it. I mean, there's a lot more, That's why we have this podcast and we've been talking. For so long. Right. You know, and we still have not guys, we have, like I have a huge book of all it is, is ideas to share with you with. It's never ending. It is never ending.

[00:28:18] Fawn: The possibilities of all the ways that we can connect with one another, that we should be connecting with one another and like the weird things that are happening that make you go, What's up with this? You know what's up with that? Like last week we talked about the invisible line, like, like being an elephant and you're chained to a stake and then you grow up into an adult elephant and it, it's like a toothpick.

[00:28:45] Fawn: This stake, it can't hold you down, down, but you're still bound to it, but you're still bound to it. You're not! Break free. Make friends. Get out there. All right? And also save time to yourself so you can curl up under the blanket and watch Days of our Lives. Hehe. Anyway, Matt just bowed his head. He hates that show.

[00:29:06] Fawn: I love it. I can, I just share with you, I watched, I, I became addicted to Days of Our Lives when I was a kid and it's when you get sick with the flu and you stay home and you realize all the shows that are on when you're at school. For me was Days of Our Lives and I got addicted and there were years where I didn't.

[00:29:26] Fawn: But somehow I was you. They keep you in the loop somehow. You know, Like you still figure out what's happening. But for me, watching Days of Our Lives gave me the best life lessons, which is this don't lie. That's it. don't lie. Cause all the drama that happens is people not being truthful. There would be no show

[00:29:52] Fawn: if everyone was honest, . So you see all these things, all these, uh, troubles people get into because of lying, being deceitful. Anyway, that's it. Love you guys. Take care. Remember to go to our site, our friendly world podcast.com. Leave us a note. Love you. Love you, Adam. Okay. Talk to you later. Bye. Be well.

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Episode Transcript

How to move to make friends moving to a new place - TRANSCRIPT [00:00:00] Fawn: Okay. Hello. We are back. Here we are. [00:00:03] Matt: Hello everybody. How are you [00:00:04] Fawn: doing? Good job, Matt. . I was just telling Matt every time we start the show, hello? He just says hello. I'm like, it just sounds like I spliced your voice in saying hello like a puppet. No. Good. So here he is, everybody. Matt. Hello. Oh my God. [00:00:24] Fawn: So. I made a new podcast friend last week. Actually we met weeks ago, but mm-hmm. . I was on his podcast. His name is Adam, [00:00:35] Fawn: and [00:00:35] Fawn: his podcast is podcasting Business school. So check that out. I think, it's good even if you're not a podcaster, to listen to him because he makes great business sense. . And if you look at it, if you look at people who are doing really well in business, they're actually, you can use their advice also for friendship. [00:00:57] Fawn: But anyway, we were talking and yeah, that's how, how I was doing, I'm like, Oh, you know, finally got through, unpacking the last box. You know, it's been nuts. , he's like, I move too, he. Uh, I think a month and a half before we did, or two months before we did. Mm-hmm. And, and I do recall when we met in this huge forum through Podfest. I think he glanced at our podcast. He didn't know about us. But he was like, Oh, friendship. Well if you're gonna do it, I hope you're doing it on. Like how do I actually teach people to make friends? I'm like, I'm like, Is he talking to me? I think he was talking to me. Cause we were the only ones with a friendship podcast. [00:01:38] Fawn: You talking to me, [00:01:39] Matt: I don't see nobody else. You must be talking to me. And I [00:01:41] Fawn: was thinking, Well if you only listen, you do realize that every episode actually, we get into that. Right. We get into all aspects of life, which is all about connecting with one another. Anyway, we were talking. So anyway, this episode is especially for you, Adam. [00:01:58] Fawn: Adam from Podcasting Business School podcast. All right, here we go. So, you know, go back actually, And there are, we just moved, right? So he wanted, Adam wants to know, well, how do you make friends when you move to a new town? Right. My thing is, let's just rephrase that. You don't have to move to be in that situation. [00:02:20] Fawn: How do you make friends when your life has changed? How do you make friends when your life has completely changed? And that could be a move. Things change, you're in a completely different [00:02:31] Matt: situation. Well, new job or [00:02:33] Fawn: absolutely. Somebody passes away or you give birth. Things open and close. Things happen, and life changes. [00:02:43] Fawn: That's when you start looking around to see, do I have friends for real around me? Someone I can call to be with me, to hold my hand, Someone I can just walk down the street with someone to be my witness in life. And, and I'm not saying Matt just is smirking at me right now by being your witness, I mean, look, I'll just use us as an example. [00:03:09] Fawn: Matt and I have experienced and seen some stuff and I'm like, Thank God you were standing next to me because that was absurd. Right? [00:03:17] Matt: Right. [00:03:18] Fawn: But you saw what I saw. You heard what I heard. You experienced what I experienced. We need that. We need that. Other way we, we feel like we're going nuts. [00:03:27] Matt: Crazy. [00:03:28] Matt: Especially when we try and explain it to someone else and they're like that. You obviously misinterpreted or. . [00:03:36] Fawn: Yeah. You're making it up or Yeah, I know. Yeah. You misunderstood. [00:03:40] Matt: I can't believe that. No. Dot dot. [00:03:42] Fawn: Right. Right. So here we go. How do we make friends when your life has completely changed or changed a little bit? [00:03:50] Fawn: Whatever, you've, you've gone through a transition. Like that transition word always scared me. Like I remember hearing that word pop up, uh, about, I don't know, 10 years. Transition. You're going through transition. I'm like, what? It just, I don't know. It, it, it's too much. Whatever. Life is about change, life is about transformation. [00:04:14] Fawn: So how do you make friends when you're going through a transformation? And if you go back a few episodes, that's really what we have been talking about because that's what Matt and I have been going through. Major, major transformation. And if you go back, look at the episode called [00:04:33] Fawn: "Earth is a Small Town and Everyone is Your Friend" because that's our first time going out in public. And actually, remember Matt, we went to a coffee shop in town where we moved to and did a recording. We got permission from the coffee shop, we got permission from everybody. We all sat down and kind of took over this coffee shop in one area, and did an in person with some people we became friends with, some really cool people we became friends with and. Really what you're gonna hear on that episode or what you hear on that episode is our very first conversation other than, Hi, nice to meet you. Uh, you know, figuring out what you have in common really quick, right? [00:05:17] Fawn: Let's hang out sometime, right? So our, let's hang out next time was we just took all our quiet recording gear, right? , We showed up and had coffee and we started the conversation. And so I think it's a good example of how to do that, because we talked about how we all met, how we were all feeling before we even said hello to each other. [00:05:40] Fawn: So what was going on in our minds? What, you know, the dialogue that pops up that makes you think, I can't talk to this person. Mm-hmm. , for whatever reason, like we all, explained what was happening in our minds when we first met, that would've kept us from talking, that would've kept us from becoming friends. [00:05:58] Fawn: But we pushed through, We all pushed through somehow, and then we got into, well, how do you keep a friend? How do you go beyond that meeting and speaking, being brave enough to speak and actually getting together and, you know, we talked about poop. We talked about , how everybody gets. Meaning that everybody goes through something and you end up getting offended or offending someone. [00:06:26] Fawn: And in our society, in our culture, well that's the end of the friendship right there. Right? Why? You know? Right. And if you really want to have a blossoming, beautiful flowering friendship, you, everybody poops, . Everybody is poopy at some point. And you have to decide how you can move through. , and I'm not saying move through all of it because some people are poopy and you don't, you should not be around that at all. [00:06:54] Fawn: And that's not what we're talking about. We're just talking about, little idiosyncrasies or little hangups that can happen. Misunderstandings. Right, right. And having the ability to see what it is and move through it. So that's a good episode. "Earth is a small town and everyone is your friend." [00:07:11] Fawn: That's the episode you should look into. It was just a few episodes back. Also we did an episode. How you End is How you Begin, and it talks about exactly that, that whether it's starting a new job or moving to a new place, starting something new. Look at how you're ending something, even if it doesn't seem like it's related, always end on a clear note. In order for it not to show up again, make sure you tie up all loose ends emotionally, physically, in every way. And then there was that other episode we did the FedEx delivery. When you look at ways the world could just show you openings to make a friend, you have to take it open that door. Don't be afraid. [00:07:59] Fawn: There's an opportunity for you that you normally may skip over. So that's what that episode is talking about, the FedEx Delivery. And a common thing that Matt and I do is we have a notebook. So we did a whole episode on the Notebook, and it's not like that scary, sad movie. It's actually , it's actually a tool we use [00:08:21] Fawn: to not only keep track of our thoughts and our daily magical things that happen, writing them down, it's a way to understand things better for yourself and also understanding other people. Cuz you're, you're taking note, you're really paying attention. Anyway, back to Adam. So let's start, how do you make friends when you first moved to a new place or [00:08:50] Fawn: your life has changed. So we did it. I'll start off by saying, I get it. I get it. We have so much we're taking care of. We are tired, we feel so stressed out. Right? There are so many things going on, especially in the United States, and I think actually it's now happening around the [00:09:09] Matt: world, and especially when you're in a state of transition. [00:09:12] Matt: All of a sudden something in your life is kind of thrown [00:09:15] Matt: up in the air [00:09:16] Fawn: and things are breaking. , [00:09:18] Matt: Oh my Lord, don't get me started on breakage [00:09:21] Fawn: today. Our refrigerator seems to be doing some crazy wackadoodle stuff. Anyway, . Um, but every day, every day it's something. Just when you think, Oh my God, I can barely handle this. [00:09:33] Fawn: Something else comes along and I get it. You don't, you don't have time to go out and drive somewhere meet someone and talk to them. This is gonna sound terrible, but I'm going to use the word forced. I force myself to go out there several levels when I, it's hard for me, being a germophobe even before the pandemic, to suddenly be around a bunch of people. [00:10:01] Fawn: Right, Right. And in person. In person. So I've made myself go out there without a mask and sit with people and actually hug people and start conversations where truthfully, I would rather be in our little home that I've finally put together where it's cozier and I can enjoy the, all the knickknacks that I put out. [00:10:27] Fawn: Enjoy a nice cup of tea and just be quiet because I've been going, going, going for so long and things have been so stressful. Yeah, it's easier to stay at home and curl up under a beautiful fluffy blanket and watch days of our lives. That's what I do. [00:10:43] Matt: Oh dear. [00:10:44] Fawn: Don't judge me [00:10:45] Matt: too [00:10:45] Fawn: late, . [00:10:46] Fawn: So whatever it is you. [00:10:49] Fawn: It is hard to get over that inertia. [00:10:51] Matt: Yes, [00:10:52] Matt: big time. Especially like waking up on a random Sunday and just being like, I could just stay home all day, but anyways, [00:11:03] Fawn: Or I have to take care of the kids. I have to cook, I have to do laundry, I have to fix this. I have to take care of this appointment. There's a lot going on. [00:11:13] Fawn: My job, everything. I know it sounds bad, but I forced myself to do this. And then when I, I remember like, um, okay, so recently I met some new people and we said, Okay, let's meet at this coffee shop. And I would sit in the car and I would have to push myself to get outta the car because I'm like, I felt like I was going on a job interview [00:11:33] Matt: Right. And, and you know what? There are a lot of similarities. [00:11:38] Fawn: because you're going into something new, they may turn you down. Right you're trying to show exactly who you are in a short span of time [00:11:45] Matt: and yet a good version of yourself. [00:11:49] Fawn: Well, not me, I don't care. Everybody's, [00:11:51] Matt: everybody's got ugliness to them. [00:11:53] Fawn: I think I, I, I show the ugly, I, I show all of it, like I said, to show all about myself because I'd rather you see all the things that you may not like about me from the beginning, because if you're not in it with me, then I'd rather know immediately. Well, [00:12:10] Matt: there are levels. I typically don't let people know for a while that I'm vegan just because it, it, there's so much baggage that goes along with [00:12:20] Fawn: that. [00:12:20] Fawn: But you know what? That's your hangup. Who cares. Who cares what you eat? Nobody cares [00:12:24] Matt: what? What you eat. You know what? People do care. Sadly, they [00:12:27] Fawn: do. Yes. That's because they're judging. Is that why? Well, [00:12:31] Matt: one of the guys I work with smokes meat, for goodness sake, . Okay? Another guy was going on vacation to go fishing [00:12:39] Fawn: so? [00:12:40] Matt: Well. [00:12:41] Fawn: That's what they do. You see, you're judge. Are you judging them? I'm not [00:12:43] Matt: judging them, but I don't, I want them to be, Feel free to share that information with me. I know people and not feel uncomfortable about it. And plus, there's the whole stigma about being vegan. [00:12:55] Fawn: Okay? I know it must [00:12:55] Matt: be this way, that way the other way, it's the same way. [00:12:57] Matt: If you tell somebody you're born again, Christian, there's baggage that [00:13:00] Fawn: comes along with that. You know what? . I think my, my way of going about things is, look, I'm a vegan. I'm not standing on a soapbox kind of vegan I am. This is what [00:13:13] Matt: I, You're defending and [00:13:14] Fawn: justifying. Yeah. Because I have to just let 'em know, Look, I'm not gonna rain on your parade for smoking meat. [00:13:20] Fawn: Right. I'm not gonna rain on your parade because you're eating fish. I don't , you know, live and let live. True. I'm just telling you. Right. I don't do that. I'm with you, but I'm not judging you for doing it. Okay. Absolutely. Most of the time. So anyway, . Well, I mean, if you're gonna, nevermind, if you're gonna really get into like why we're vegan, it's atrocious, atrocious, atrocious, atrocious, atrocious. [00:13:43] Fawn: Anyway. What happens to all living beings, including plants? Way, I wanna get into it. Whatever. So do you, You understand? You get the gist of what I'm saying, right? All right. So I'm sitting in my car and I'm like, Oh, I don't wanna go in. I'm scared but I did it anyway. And it was so funny because as I was talking to this woman and Tracy, Hello, She actually said the same thing. [00:14:10] Fawn: She said the same. I didn't say it. I did not say it, but she said it. She said she was having a hard time coming here and her daughter had to talk her into it. . See? Oh, it'll be fun. It'll be fun. You're meeting someone new. You're gonna have coffee. Yay. You have, everybody has these feelings. You just have to get over it. [00:14:29] Fawn: It's like jumping into a beautiful lake, but you don't want to because it's gonna be a shocking cold temperature or something. Whatever it is, it's going to be uncomfortable for a few seconds. But Once you're in there, the water's fine and you can open your arms and glide and enjoy, and it's the same thing. [00:14:50] Fawn: It's the same thing. [00:14:52] Fawn: So how do you make friends when you first move into a town? When you go about your daily business, you're going to the grocery store, you probably have to go to the hardware store cause things are breaking where you're living. Hello? You are going, Where else have we gone? Oh, dealing with the trash, you know, recycling. [00:15:13] Fawn: There are people around you all the time. People you normally ignore. [00:15:17] Matt: Frankly, I know, and I, I [00:15:19] Fawn: know for whatever reason, class issues. Do you, do you talk to your male person? Do you talk to the person who picks up the recycling, picks up garbage? They are human beings. Hello? [00:15:33] Matt: True. [00:15:34] Fawn: Oh my goodness. So, yes. The UPS person, the FedEx person, Shout out to Kenny. [00:15:41] Fawn: Ups. Thank you so much. I see him on the street now and I'll wave like a crazy person and it takes him a second to go. Oh yeah, that's that lady. [00:15:49] Matt: That's a crazy [00:15:49] Matt: one. [00:15:51] Fawn: With all the boxes anyway. There are opportunities everywhere. That's where the notebook comes in. Write everything down. Who you meet, what's their name, what do they like, what's they look like? [00:16:02] Fawn: Um, I [00:16:03] Matt: don't know. Right? I take notes as far as like per um, if they tell me they have a spouse and their name or a birthday or whatever. [00:16:12] Fawn: So there's all these things to do. And don't forget the neighbors. Sending thank you cards for everything. Have a stack of thank you cards. People are shocked. The, uh, plumber came in and we spent so many dollars, like, Oh my god, thousands. [00:16:28] Fawn: But [00:16:28] Matt: we, there was a lot of interesting things [00:16:30] Fawn: to fix. I gave him a thank you card while he was here. Mm-hmm. , and he was shocked, of course. He's like, No one's ever given me a thank you card, . [00:16:39] Matt: Right, right. They just gimme money and that's good. [00:16:42] Fawn: But I, I gave him a thank you card and, and. Piece of advice because he's like, What is this? [00:16:48] Fawn: This is interesting. I would like to try it too. It was a filter we were using and he had to install it. And, um, yeah, like I, I don't trust our water system anywhere. I don't, I don't trust the government taking care of stuff. I don't. And hello, we're now finding out yes, all these places have problems with water. [00:17:06] Fawn: So yeah, I have a special device for making sure the water is clean. and the plumber didn't know about it, about this particular thing, so whatever. I gave him the info. Right. And I also thanked him for helping our home. Mm-hmm. , making our home better. But, you know, made friends there, you know, made friends with everyone We have come into contact with. [00:17:31] Fawn: And now Matt, you are seeming like you're totally on board. [00:17:35] Fawn: I [00:17:36] Matt: do, don't I? [00:17:36] Fawn: and everything. But have you actually taken this advice fully because Okay, you meet someone, you say hi, you may even go out for coffee with them. People tend to drop the ball there. It's like, Okay, I've Enough [00:17:50] Matt: true [00:17:50] Fawn: BYE no, you need to keep at it. [00:17:54] Fawn: You need to keep your muscles, It's like running. Yeah, you can run for five seconds. You can't go. Okay I did it! No, keep going. There's a hump that you need to go over, if that makes any sense. [00:18:08] Matt: It No, it totally does [00:18:09] Fawn: until it becomes normal. Right. You know, like, um, a long time ago I worked for the Aveda Corporation and the ceo, the owner of the corporation, always talked about synthetic things like a synthetic scent. [00:18:25] Fawn: And how our noses are so accustomed to smelling fabricated things, synthetic chemicals that we think these synthetic chemicals are natural, right? A lot of products that exist out there, it's not really coming from a plant. It is a chemical that's produced in a lab that's really not good for you. People will smell or eat something and think this is natural, but once your body [00:18:54] Fawn: comes into contact with the source of nature, it remembers exactly what the truth is, and that's with everything in life. When you come into contact with it, your body knows. Your soul knows what is going on. Your soul, your nose knows this is actual Jasmine I'm smelling. This is actual coffee I'm smelling. [00:19:18] Fawn: So you know what true friendship feels like when you come in contact with it and then soon it will become the natural way of things, the way it used to. And I think that we can get there in our society. We can do that. But we have to flex our muscles again and we have to maybe be uncomfortable for a few minutes, but we can get there. [00:19:42] Fawn: Matt is taking notes, if you heard tick tick. I could hear that . Anyways, so, So we're talking, but Matt, have you been doing [00:19:52] Fawn: this? [00:19:54] Matt: So anyways? Mm-hmm. . [00:19:56] Fawn: Mm. What's going on, Matt? Not [00:19:58] Matt: too, The thing about it is, folks, yes, my wife is 100% right? Absolutely. No question. [00:20:09] Fawn: Why do you say my wife, Like the king of the hill, [00:20:14] Matt: anyways, so Matt's wife is absolutely correct , [00:20:19] Fawn: so messed up, [00:20:23] Matt: Uh, the thing is, is you know, when you go out into the world, You have to A, be patient, and B, have an incredible sense of curiosity about you. You're gonna find those things to ask questions about and people are much more comfortable talking to you if you're asking them questions, and certainly questions about things that they're [00:20:46] Fawn: interested in. [00:20:46] Fawn: Yes, Yes. Matt, you sound very wise, but tell Tell our friends the truth. What is happening? Well, no, that's the truth. [00:20:52] Matt: That is absolutely the truth. No, the truth is I have been very impatient. Mm-hmm. And just, I just want to get done with whatever it is I'm out in the world [00:21:00] Fawn: to do. Our neighbor has been wanting to make friends with Matt going out of his way to get special stuff. [00:21:06] Fawn: He totally has. And you like when they show up at the door, you're like, I don't even know how to describe it to you guys. Matt just stands there, grabs it and runs away like. You're like a robot. Like, and [00:21:19] Fawn: I'm like, What happened? I, And you did this several times and that's just it. [00:21:23] Matt: What's happening? Okay. [00:21:24] Matt: What's going on right now is, unfortunately, or fortunately, my next door neighbor, he is too quick witted for me. , This never happens. He's like, bam, fast and funny, and I'm, I'm struggling. I can't keep up. [00:21:42] Fawn: So don't, [00:21:43] Matt: So we fence, we don't talk. [00:21:45] Fawn: But why do you need to [00:21:46] Matt: fence? I need to stop that. And I'm in the process of stopping that. [00:21:49] Matt: Okay. But [00:21:50] Fawn: it's hard. So does that mean you're in [00:21:52] Matt: I like being the funny [00:21:53] Fawn: guy. Oh, honey. [00:21:57] Matt: Oh honey, you are not funny. . [00:22:01] Fawn: Matt, you're funny when you're not funny. You're funny when you're trying not to be funny. I don't wanna be accidentally funny. You know what? You're funny when truly you are not thinking about it. [00:22:13] Fawn: I mean, have you noticed? [00:22:14] Matt: And that's the problem. I'm thinking too much. Exactly, and fencing too much, and I have to stop doing that. I have to be, I'm not being, I'm not being truly genuine because I want to be funny. Ding, [00:22:26] Fawn: ding, ding. Genuine. Be yourself. My God. That's my, Is that what you wrote down? What's that word right [00:22:34] Matt: there? [00:22:34] Matt: I, I can't, It's a squiggle. It looks like it says glucose, but it means it is genuine. . [00:22:41] Fawn: So what happened? [00:22:43] Matt: I'm the funny one. [00:22:44] Fawn: No, but what happened when? [00:22:46] Matt: What happened to what? [00:22:47] Fawn: All of a sudden you're like, you freeze up. I know. Well, because I'm [00:22:52] Matt: trying to think of like the funniest thing to say. [00:22:54] Fawn: Yeah, but you know better I, what happened. [00:22:58] Matt: I'm also busy still grappling with my workmates. I, I made progress with one of them this week, which was very, very awesome. And my work mates, it's especially difficult [00:23:08] Matt: and I, you know, I'm, you know, we obviously we have work in common, but it's, it's about finding more than that and it's about being genuine inside of that. And then there's the politics of, of work as well. Because we look at what each other does, and we help each other and we we teach each other. So it's, it's an interesting delicate balancing act to maintain all of this and still maintain a professional [00:23:34] Matt: attitude. [00:23:35] Matt: All right. Well, let's [00:23:35] Fawn: get back to how do you make friends when you move into a new place? You [00:23:39] Matt: need to be patient. You need to be [00:23:41] Fawn: curious. No. If you say you need to be patient, people are just gonna just stay home. And like not do anything because you have to let go [00:23:49] Matt: of being patient. You have to let go of your busy life and you have to go out there and do it. [00:23:55] Matt: You have to just do it. Well, the trick is the trick with, Okay, so the trick with me is that I'm always in a hurry when I'm out. I guy shop everywhere, which just means I know the five things I, I need to get. I've already in my head mapped out how to get 'em and I get out. Boom, boom, boom. Fast as I [00:24:12] Fawn: can. And actually you have gotten mad at me because you're like, you're like pointing to and tapping your watch. [00:24:19] Fawn: Well, I'm trying to make a connection at the store. Yeah. Stop it. Gosh. Right, right. And that's where I make all my friends is at when we're out and about. But you are very well, Did I do that to you? Y. I don't remember. No, yesterday was great, but I did feel the pressure because you, you do usually do that to me. [00:24:40] Fawn: I know. [00:24:40] Matt: And I was feeling like, and I was trying to muscle through it. I, I, I was trying [00:24:44] Fawn: to muscle through it. Yes. But I could still feel it. I was like, Ugh. So I literally turned to the person and said, Look, can we just exchange phone numbers real quick? My husband is impatient. . That's what I said. And she's like, Yeah, sure. [00:24:56] Fawn: And we just exchanged phone numbers. I said, I'll, I'll, I'll text you . And there you go. And, but you know, my God, it was like I had to be brave enough to tell her what was going on. Like I just told her, Look, I wanna, I wanna hang out with you. Right? That's it. Boom. I just said it, right? I said it. I said, and then I had to instigate it cuz people are not open usually to just giving out their phone numbers. [00:25:24] Fawn: Mm-hmm. . And if I feel that's happening, I'm like, here's my number. Always have something handy; something to write on and something to write with. Always have that with you. I actually wanna get cards again. [00:25:37] Matt: See cards feels a little too contrived, [00:25:40] Fawn: but it's a little note card that could look pretty. [00:25:42] Fawn: It doesn't have to be a business card; something that's inspiring with a quote on it. For something to remember you by. , You know, But back in the day, didn't they have calling cards for gentlemen? They, [00:25:54] Matt: No, they had calling cards, period. Calling [00:25:56] Fawn: cards. And what was that, in what century was that? Like 17th [00:26:00] Matt: century. [00:26:00] Matt: So I was reading a story that takes place in like the 1890s in Utah, and the wife went calling on somebody and left her card and they never got back to her. So that was 1890s. So, That's one instance in Utah of all places. [00:26:23] Fawn: I would make a card, This is what I'm working on right now, making a little card, something you could stick on a wall that, that inspires people, like something with a pretty picture or a beautiful quote that's life affirming. And then have your number there, your name and number. [00:26:40] Matt: Whereas as a guy, I walk around with a notebook, just a skinny notebook that fits in my back pocket. And what I will do is I will have one or two, um, Sticky notes inside of it that are blank and I can write on those. Yeah. [00:26:54] Fawn: But I'm talking about something you can, you can give to someone else. [00:26:57] Fawn: And then sticky notes get, Yeah. [00:26:58] Matt: I can give somebody a sticky note. I can [00:27:00] Fawn: do that. They get lost and it's [00:27:01] Matt: like trash. Well, and it, it's also also about getting their stuff too. Something [00:27:05] Fawn: that doesn't seem like trash. I know. Something you wanna Hold on. I know. Anyway, so that's, that's another tip right there is to do that. [00:27:14] Fawn: Um, there's so many things on my mind right now adam? Adam, when you're new to town, it's like being on vacation, but you live there. You're [00:27:23] Matt: also seeing things differently too. [00:27:25] Fawn: Yeah. Take, take advantage when life has transformed into something totally different for you. [00:27:30] Fawn: Take advantage of that. Even if it's grief that you're going through, take advantage of it because you're seeing things in a way that you normally don't see. Know you're, you're aware of things you're normally not aware of, and that's the perfect opportunity to make a wonderful life happen because you're not ignoring things around you. [00:27:51] Fawn: And that's when you make beautiful connections. That's it. I mean, there's a lot more, That's why we have this podcast and we've been talking. For so long. Right. You know, and we still have not guys, we have, like I have a huge book of all it is, is ideas to share with you with. It's never ending. It is never ending. [00:28:18] Fawn: The possibilities of all the ways that we can connect with one another, that we should be connecting with one another and like the weird things that are happening that make you go, What's up with this? You know what's up with that? Like last week we talked about the invisible line, like, like being an elephant and you're chained to a stake and then you grow up into an adult elephant and it, it's like a toothpick. [00:28:45] Fawn: This stake, it can't hold you down, down, but you're still bound to it, but you're still bound to it. You're not! Break free. Make friends. Get out there. All right? And also save time to yourself so you can curl up under the blanket and watch Days of our Lives. Hehe. Anyway, Matt just bowed his head. He hates that show. [00:29:06] Fawn: I love it. I can, I just share with you, I watched, I, I became addicted to Days of Our Lives when I was a kid and it's when you get sick with the flu and you stay home and you realize all the shows that are on when you're at school. For me was Days of Our Lives and I got addicted and there were years where I didn't. [00:29:26] Fawn: But somehow I was you. They keep you in the loop somehow. You know, Like you still figure out what's happening. But for me, watching Days of Our Lives gave me the best life lessons, which is this don't lie. That's it. don't lie. Cause all the drama that happens is people not being truthful. There would be no show [00:29:52] Fawn: if everyone was honest, . So you see all these things, all these, uh, troubles people get into because of lying, being deceitful. Anyway, that's it. Love you guys. Take care. Remember to go to our site, our friendly world podcast.com. Leave us a note. Love you. Love you, Adam. Okay. Talk to you later. Bye. Be well.

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